HR MEMO
To all Employees:b(Rs `S> > Effective January 2007
> >$Xh&O7T!q n*K'z)d
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage M vX!i(ivc h2@
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicerv5F1e2yq2U j d
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.2|k*@9D*y/_2~:r4g
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where youL[%X!pw5z
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise."D(h vN u~G']5H
> > n,^%^4L T.b(`0z K
> > Sick Days)M {8SH&i
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
> > proof of sickness. Ql-| P0H^e$L3k
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able/c { mz1a'g i
> > to come to work.
> >
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.;}^!S6WO}.L
> >!M)mZh$k-r+V!h M
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing z0r(d[x t8M,B
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non- or|\IIi6\{ m3q
> > employees attend to the arrangements. b_1^A }#[ n [*i)|
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is ?`D\6f_w Y
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to workF-B;`fl8DJ)PW
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early.
> >
> > Toilet Use~5y v;{ _Y!E
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit? ?i@g0w R3r-ML
> > in the cubicles.+I6@nfA)BjW
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm willNY ui"SJ
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the8P,H(ZZ:OK?-o
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.5u)z N(W1P:`'Z-IgE
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be8I i1c'Q;|x~
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.
> >R| X-B4b8N&~xtI
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they1z3az/o3t Zf
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.N[/zHsE"A
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast. Fj%O5w&@{ cJa7K
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we arexg^4R*u#g(db ri R
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positiveQD J\o
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,4iq/KY-v I6e"C
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,!H?4e?7V0p[+v
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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