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tonylo 發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM

HR MEMO

To all Employees:j]#g)Xh.c])\a
> >                     Effective January 2007
n&P\\8|-G"l'C2|1B > >
+N,{osP0L > > Dress Code
)O z7\(}D$e3_ ` RI^ > > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
_O k GHZox > > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
c B!fi!r8ohg,bU7@ E > > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume(M W0x0oR
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not}t_ U5W(X
> > need a pay raise.
)i,f"g`)oS > > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage0G5be {/nL
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
v4Dp/aE+F w > > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
:sBzOf?Dy%^ > > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where youA4by { j*i/J
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
2l+@ufQd(b > > raise. L1p9F3r P_
> >4WM2DMj
> > Sick Days&SfD(R X&B
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
x4QD[.[]RX > > proof of sickness./r,~?y)d:W_$F
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able/S$VKR]'U
> > to come to work.g i b~4z
> >0g u+xG H@$n
> > Holiday Days
@C BF%b\ AV > > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a R$RHE!Nzw
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
#Z L X0Y;U > >)O j^1w$Zf
> > Compassionate Leave
4jzUyV a5S > > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
4}2K6[ fY7z > > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-p1mQ;PxGb
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
N"i*ezh0b TQ@I#G > > employees attend to the arrangements.?-^YF6JP|,I0G
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
vw%e/Qp7g5q;O > > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
(L0B$g"k'Xm/u > > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
6go'M6w5z(m7K] > > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
6d*q*\,G6K6as ^ > > hour early. L"v8{.N K:w2c^$])W
> >
h'r a1};g ]5X:e > > Toilet Use
)v"M8G\6Am)WC > > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
?7y4A~(xs g > > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit bv mz|1d2ae~
> > in the cubicles.5ZT"Lp$f.pf|
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
nAxx-Ez,_.qa > > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubiclepEg1Xv];j*e
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
H%N:L4^l > > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
*wP3`r"r.X8`uQC1r > > posted on the company notice board under the
)T8|/ER1i > > "Chronic Offenders" category. c(sB)_Ka b(i$^
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
t k v5~X S > > sanctioned under the company's mental healthGWe }?QI9E
> > policy.
|,~7FWl!t:S x > >
8d!U2{hJ3M:j so > > Lunch BreakZ(KimlYew
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as theyW3W_q,U D k/WE:M*`
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
!r C0YE T^rAlQ > > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
oFn},_2f3WXom > > maintain their average figure.
q'{3SD3Uq/\f \ > > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the timeh'Yz V8Q*P?:A
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.#q edv&A`r2y
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we areWZNJ*{/q
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
%Te9rlU+]"P*` > > employment experience.
7kuJ h~ > > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
)Ew6u+y5Y"|;Xf)Kxr > > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
,t.g%AV5y6^M6v > > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
5Rz&n9e*fd)j)tG > > directed elsewhere.

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