HR MEMO
To all Employees: Ti%L\6Y4XW B> > Effective January 2007 vL%}.L+N h)w7k,b
> >
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed}QH Z,["?C l;K J
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing7@9Wlt6?(mRZ(g
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage"J5g0` Bvy
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise.
> >
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
> > proof of sickness.&L4`ciA$liD rx#W7m6X
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work.na b1j3M:I,j%f2\
> >
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days aT0Q/}*@ l B+av(`
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-7uy.bHrEF,?
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is(X _ ^n%? o9w
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work&~/d(xD nKF J ? z
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early. J7w:vZ Miy.R
> >
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit.c6~9C];|AP|
> > in the cubicles.}2o5_+p4f&\(?e$r
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken. k/Y$gG!q"lQ k2? L
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.(X-M7[S&i
> >
> > Lunch Break vlc o5{ Ge,Eq
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they1pT-k.D0_Y4M)|
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.i0_7tGT4n
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time K%gc"i`;F6iy
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.w N0wl6hKT aS%i(N
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive E6X-NG Z |
> > employment experience.] Ef sE7~/| B,X"w
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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