HR MEMO
To all Employees:> > Effective January 20079^+k4f'dT Up f
> >9tX N8A9X%f"OcC
> > Dress CodeqA&\ e_
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed q0jmvu4q1|A3yL2WU/n
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not J;\.t-@ c)}:G
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.0|mSb:u6w
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay9m jCf+r_
> > raise.}|+I9k'm1@({
> >
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as'{ I3E%v L"r \ a
> > proof of sickness. cPN T a"a7ad
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able u hop YRz F(Y
> > to come to work.F1@;KMt-~%`pj
> >
> > Holiday Daysex r Z$m%v
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a ORmUk-Q;KR
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >
> > Compassionate Leave(] }$TA:M+K a%al
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing p%J \/Po%G
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-,I VA { BI
> > employees attend to the arrangements.@v4{:]#dT{g
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work|c8eY/_,u ??X0T6a
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one jtvksb Vg5C
> > hour early.
> >8?,b:} m!j_'lbt
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in thez$] y2`H@,o m%{
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubiclez x:eKS8a~
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the#H~(@2B:{7i/`;pS ~Q
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy./g1C@V)K
> >]2r)uo/g9aK(H
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal toD b)t4}(B"L:M
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.Y6y/Z%l#Mg+e4KH!l
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are.?0Q4Y-_'Tv(rO6S J(Y
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,&B7o k\5^3`uFga
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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