HR MEMO
To all Employees:> > Effective January 2007
> > z3v#RQq`
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing.Ux6E)Q(jq8`9@ J
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume(WhghH
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer C-_l l;p-w
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise. u N:[m E
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where youe;Y-x#d zh_R:AGG6P
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise.
> >-Q'V5O(Tb3h
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate asD&J8]1J;XeP U4I
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work.
> >oj$oZ4I[%l
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a_1UKk#}1q
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.'U7m1Nz-n3b9xn y.Y
> >
> > Compassionate Leave Yp:b|X^
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing ^-h7_&n8m(|
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-3^ Sx7l0B'ul
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is u/o1h*F"ZO
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the'kb Q9a m
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to workM}&VGcT
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one3s3Mr7I,D F'r$M
> > hour early. b_3r'Rq
> >Q7d)].mn bc4? d;H G
> > Toilet Use!tf0}k~ ^r6lB
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the\ k"U0v N7v|j4m `z
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit8vfv;Q;ns
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will ^/ID2Bk;U&p bX i
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicleVBk k@?-u G7Dd C
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be%yj1tR |]_:d
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.i"P;?Bk:ya
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health)h*P gN9q9v
> > policy.
> >ee [nz)c&U9_#@
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.B@ ^)v ClS;j'y
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to~ N@{T vf2g"Wp
> > maintain their average figure.#P:br,|%z`*gBh @
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the timen TW ^eR!M!Q
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.,Rj6d(n(]W H}h/i
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are/ox Y Wr R$s
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive2n F5F Gg!S.q
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,?g1@],`
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,:L6h)KMb Cn k
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be z"v'A#zh V w'hq
> > directed elsewhere.
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