HR MEMO
To all Employees:$[!w.g6O@O+x't> > Effective January 2007#\tEn jOw vE
> >
> > Dress Code }&rVX3g
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dresseddQ-mdp^3E
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume*L N^!Y%f{8O8O)fO
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not6Z.s h/DU9z(L HU_
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicerfn$w c#bZC [4[
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.+XJb1S.I$AC:l8M8J
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you [4f/`Wrf
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay q:X(qaP
> > raise.#pf qz#Kkn
> >
> > Sick DaysH Jf-Pa2}v
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as?l#~6u&Z(M/v,\
> > proof of sickness.M%G{"n"\&t)a
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work. N8Hn Jx'l
> > gr1@W!RU
> > Holiday Days3erl5L B-X
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a { k W Oz+A4^
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >g'XtSd'{.?h
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-8}+YSb @
> > employees attend to the arrangements.q)_/Ew uh0d M
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work#YOg)C%E g t_)Q f"AZ
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave onei"p7pcD M a
> > hour early.!M0I)p2y&atU,|)l
> >6g6H!cL ]0E3L6? b p"{
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will9j?)s)d"U
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under thej(TC1`4`[*~
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.su]DN*D2r
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.
> >
> > Lunch Breakv1h E}` t
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.u9BG:S'n8a3xz%] \
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to NC'ptn
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast..c+X,e.K%co4T Wn
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,0sDCf?![ H
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should bes o j/v#b&rn wJ
> > directed elsewhere.
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