HR MEMO
To all Employees:> > Effective January 2007-w/`6Of&n
> >
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do notCu:f%I,I
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicerW:z [9Qsu e
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise. B3SA ]G {6btu.h
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay*LY W.[,J8Hw
> > raise.
> >
> > Sick DaysR7M5K [4r F6DY
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as ou jI M9V-c
> > proof of sickness.uO!S7C9_
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work.
> >
> > Holiday Daysl,LP;l,Gr$y ]
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >7\A&_B3ET-J
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-"lRmn lT:Fs` b
> > employees attend to the arrangements. XyY-YI U3` uh
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early.6J!yl+Qup
> >
> > Toilet Use+A J S*n8|$k _
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
> > in the cubicles.9i.^7|~2ux1[$F
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm willI0b-j G0s}
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle:|.X C i~1x1d on
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.$IX Q'Cp3m k
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental healthMkq(OzA F
> > policy.H B:W2f7Ma#i
> >
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as theyW1LT{2k&P
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.k/F7{s fF#H6E9D
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time4q?(sf n?+k
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast..X XF d?0t Szzl#v1r
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience.;~J g Or Ka&t+B
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,.X.V C vK1V H6^y
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,B)Z*Ca Q | L r5_
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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