HR MEMO
To all Employees:(C1C n G#k> > Effective January 2007
> >
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.K4a |9gE3B*P m*n
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage E ^s2x,m rV"y4~r:Jc G
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where youXun/j4J/]
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay6S N.[r,V}l5T
> > raise.5t$x|g%w'b5X7S(M#O
> >
> > Sick Days,g(CIV U
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
> > proof of sickness.U;a0[!_ rW [Q A {
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able P&` P*q&Maqf `n
> > to come to work.r t&Aw$b/M'_RN.J
> >
> > Holiday Days ^C(L[L#q RN
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.!dM/s'[ f X
> >
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- ?.{(ng s-`&p7pD
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the c g-uU,e0a.[
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early.vl o _,Ub
> >-i1S3B d7S)K2nv
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the0~*l mW3W6bc
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit7B"Z3I5e\}}
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken. cT*Z2vGN,n
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the`f$BXz5V0I ` Y
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will bex ~F ?cc
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.
> >@2H8_pmP
> > Lunch Break-~(Dv3U3\5QH} {;h5K
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they B%\ Zjs$~
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.,A1|"M1V B&F
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the timer1V:Pg-z9uD~I
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.6bA J X w!hU
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are os&{0~0{I L
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience.JY%n IBg$y
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,(N4}:Z+N)tM
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be^'Z'YDJ By H
> > directed elsewhere.
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