HR MEMO
To all Employees:U1J c8U#s bEb"J)I w;Z> > Effective January 2007
> >
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed3L.c&[A7l pkV?
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume N ^7^ LLa M+b
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.%t9RW5PaG
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manageM(q$s7z8u+E }
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer7v mB$G0E'P xe
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise.
> >
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as'OuOI1{ j:nhW
> > proof of sickness.9c$^ H9SE?
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work.
> >
> > Holiday DaysT O?Cx v wH3t
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days aoWl%LX I
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-1@0E^"_Y C
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is1it$t u ~qU e
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the!eB$f t4z H k:u
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work)Hf&fZ h*}
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early.
> >-J/}2j)K6^:s
> > Toilet UsePc$c3mf(w4Rt7y9ku
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the1rjy M{-e/]
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
> > in the cubicles.,g|)@ ],YI
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle+}/D` T q | v.O$GAn
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.&CM Nt5W$?;d0M+B
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be&c`LT9l
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.4O$x"z Aj_k~:h:\6nC
> >iL:XY1rL}
> > Lunch Break ^Q h(q V
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.{ w` W^ q P.M"B H
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are%V8rW.M o ZY
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive-k3\7K3] x!E
> > employment experience.-T1{._0?Q4q$~
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,&A P,WW%y3g$e
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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