HR MEMO
To all Employees:j]#g)Xh.c])\a> > Effective January 2007
> >
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume(M W0x0oR
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not}t_ U5W(X
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage0G5be {/nL
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where youA4by { j*i/J
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise. L1p9F3r P _
> >4WM2DMj
> > Sick Days&Sf D(R X&B
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
> > proof of sickness./r,~ ?y)d:W _$F
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able/S$VKR]'U
> > to come to work.g i b~4z
> >0g u+xG H@$n
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a R$RH E!Nzw
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >)O j ^1w$Zf
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- p1mQ;P xGb
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.?-^YF6JP|,I0G
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early. L"v8{.N K:w2c^$])W
> >
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit bv m z |1d2ae ~
> > in the cubicles.5ZT"Lp$f.pf|
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubiclep Eg1X v];j*e
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category. c(sB)_Ka b(i$^
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health GWe }? QI9E
> > policy.
> >
> > Lunch BreakZ(KimlYew
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as theyW3W _q,U D k/WE:M*`
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time h'Yz V8Q*P?:A
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.#q e dv&A`r2y
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we areWZNJ*{/q
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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