HR MEMO
To all Employees:> > Effective January 2007
> > gI ywa
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing TR4S*U8sl2Nz t#F
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume?*r1P!k;\ R
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage W ? m'Q7n
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer\4f"C ^7\ u#sv5Eps
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.6H mMV5a
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a payX4V;o8C4]
> > raise.
> >l(j:T8P0m.Ts h
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as {k+C'K3YdV
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are ableP$ojb6@-CN
> > to come to work.at+S {)d e
> > j_4Z5__4X
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a+`SvAn9u9v0W
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >~w&w i2X,KiR2|(w
> > Compassionate Leave\#pLN S1n:E X
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothingi y V,VN,G
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-0u)fH8X,V`h
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-5u"I*q(hvs$Qyx ~
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is s*i.} _r R
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in theT b8T&N!ll4O5b w
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early.(bL_ oT YY
> >y|U!i5t(L7V
> > Toilet Use'w,{7Vvr
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
> > in the cubicles.)t K@!c-h-b!e
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle?&au#y X2D)h*~*p*L
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.,fqai9d&B7@'_
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be2X BA/R h R I(\vGf
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.+lY#nHQ3k-~A
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health6\aa ]6Q i
> > policy.
> > k C?%ya3u$qX
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they wmt@4v i s l#u%O.t3K
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.8PK7x%YH({0O
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.{+Rf}E r'{
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience.4J kkJ r,N+`J
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,Z2`-[ v_;Z1i
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, B%R3J6\3s
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be n1z%s h w@E
> > directed elsewhere.
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