HR MEMO
To all Employees:W:F]z s(x*EH> > Effective January 2007 P`0KW q6x9A [
> >9CG"qpJF0X
> > Dress Code|!b5NX W`N
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume6vf(?)KK2It A
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage,[O?}+dT2j9L
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.!fO&k+eRF)|
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you/K"r!}-Q4} Pe+e
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay-X _-mD!HL6f9l
> > raise.;d9^KC f-i
> >
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work.o:GR,I2q][
> >r$af3\#UX` j
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.|a/vc r7]$l7uU r%?
> >
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing T d&@G+];c {g^3T
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early.,S K$H6eH+E$z{ [3a3k,V
> >k]7_2W$` u i
> > Toilet Use2?jt![^gO3n(_b
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit$T3i8S1y&`6p
> > in the cubicles.To\]:|7zD1t
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be&YD#{S%s;z6V O^
> > posted on the company notice board under the,R/D~+Z+U |
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental healthzm Q ^ yE4f1W$E"i,H`
> > policy./~P;A!jBd
> >
> > Lunch BreakV-`LZ4E |.}#cF
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy. t*R h ~)Yt ]g
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to0d,E_ u*|Mhf)q
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time O9X ` wJ%ft SC
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.%k3l}6v'B2L t3]
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are |6u)u b!JV)pq
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive&w0]8D3f,D
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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