HR MEMO
To all Employees:> > Effective January 2007
> >POl"N(Kz1Kt
> > Dress Code)`#z{"K\1XH u
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed#s+vTez2K y
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearingb"Qi!A9Y:m!iSV7C
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assumeV8o3n d0v4g M
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do noto c(BU1h7Qt&?
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise. l W5Q(rM ?
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise.'R#y$O F%_ i"VVF
> >
> > Sick Days k/}0BW$t tE[
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as8P0D;e@f\3p7x8s-b#_
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able ^8j(`"X Kcn MV
> > to come to work.
> >? r+O2_t(X N/y~
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days amC-ObRH
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.$b;zm1FI+r \ u E#c~
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one lr$G$q:__~
> > hour early.#e v.vNYN
> >
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in theu T$A%@-^0S DAP!]m
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit(`.W)~[r"W#m6N @
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken. Qgw*]h ro
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category. C,U8T7|.N
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health L k:ke-j ynL%k
> > policy.]7t-hZ F
> >7R:~-S` J.T dn
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they7G g:Dg%[%x
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.(c1x ^ H;VW ] o7t/F
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to(D$a7Ju0R a
> > maintain their average figure.F X%Si/n
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience.:V-B3X3J6w1n
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,wzH{ R
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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