HR MEMO
To all Employees:> > Effective January 2007]yC vv^!O4s[
> >$ly+n v%Dn? z
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed(W'mu_z"Q"bs D
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do notr#n-P`"Fv
> > need a pay raise._e!H-J]f nrp
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer3^)nL W?9}jes3w7r
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.Z"mC"X4\&n a-k
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise. pJf | z |"j
> >3I:VD M-N,F6iZ
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate asmy8{e_&b m T
> > proof of sickness.g.dk/CU!}m-~
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are ablei Lx#s;d{
> > to come to work.
> >/B-| w#QjF
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a7t r L0gTdF6e
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.D.G/[!P"G1f
> >(n ab9qO-} v3Zi
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-}6nN#t7v$O%@
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non- O:[email protected]v5\
> > employees attend to the arrangements.:n3NY c I
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is K2@0U%@ IO V
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work0_;ArG)[+w:k ?[
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early.
> >j,e6j7D0?H
> > Toilet Use*o0@ @ t;j ["l
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the Pa \(D't6{
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
> > in the cubicles. D-\M2Rmy r+wg Fb3D}
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will|1o,n9S5_(pv
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle'E'aE GisO,U,s
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health M['bU"Qg,` c%S
> > policy.1Nf;M%d?1I
> >k8F!T8G~7acC6I
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.%{4lu]5D6L
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to#V6@8[*T9Sb
> > maintain their average figure. ?}3r#{ ~:]
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time5A#y7w1E$t*f2W#u
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.ltuo~C K&et
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are;{7ZD _;U C,MA:q
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience.D5xd8[G1fuC N
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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