HR MEMO
To all Employees:> > Effective January 2007
> > e&s,uo-BcSB T
> > Dress CodeG bD0z \
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed z%NRP3tyx'L
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing mN+@8Z;R
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not-vc*fY)j_Y5T l
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage-Gs&{Vb O
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer}:n9d d y u0t:I e1S t[
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise. y7RhN%my
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you%_.B3u-?0D$T
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay,}#j["B\;V%W
> > raise.7VF oHW!H
> >w G)c8v!^^#b
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as"CKMl7yE*F!]'a
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work.o @8r#N.ZV
> >
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.4oZ&X)e?
> >
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing P jfARZ
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- [;A bhpk }5{.t
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-5~r ~brp Rv
> > employees attend to the arrangements.#Q? yX I3BP
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to worky7t F { WG o
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one/O KdD o*vl hx V
> > hour early.8e `^6G/E
> >
> > Toilet Use,iA,`b_Q
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit Q k#\P5b
> > in the cubicles.9T t%yWc)v `%_
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will l[!Mg wjv5l _
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicleiDZ0LX
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the t] G+\bq \
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.5i/VH R[M
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.[Ok {pE6HCm
> >
> > Lunch Breakd a a${ a8L
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.u-G5qvf,u Y1f
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time q ~_;{$|'I)v
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are$f;|']0I&V4K*b(wf
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positiveG.l6h(A/o`TM
> > employment experience.a ja6v'B
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,$F9O*h.X0nL
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,:NR?7b0a^ gk
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be Tc-k6z*t
> > directed elsewhere.
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