HR MEMO
To all Employees:k&Y-I#L Qd k> > Effective January 2007~9K jPe j/`5C
> > TAL:lA;N
> > Dress Code8}*vH,_Ca R~6q
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manageLiz1p/xY3p)^D eU
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.Ye#F:[x^p#n-T
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise./X&g`[:P
> > ?}5m#F)P!e
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as%u p J}:J J*Z
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able8~{-v _T J'VU?0X
> > to come to work.
> >
> > Holiday Daysw w \ l Hpf
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a-g:I bhj*xDL2M
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.8R i$W U$[R9I
> >
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- Q A%_P&EQ)w8`%E` F
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.H%M;y4c ~ |2GX
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is#~#Ce \`
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in thef!m8Mt.imS-p
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to workm,aW1m-Y H*nk[
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early.
> >
> > Toilet Use,~(dN'x%O7Y1O c J5z
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit@ H(Y,mo}.d'D lj
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle$Fn]-R"O*|
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.-?9kk7wa0}
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be*j#jC0_8A
> > sanctioned under the company's mental healthusQ"po-Z/_uP4C
> > policy.
> > U o.@qQBl_Q
> > Lunch Break*J x!Or V ?sO)}
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to {:q/Y w xP+u(Z
> > maintain their average figure.0w.k,\(@%w7N/[T#@
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time*F Bc8_7in"\
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.4A/|JCC|$A
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are_ ~2t/L%V
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive%`(^5X3Vk a]
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,)``'_ IL%L7z Q5}sF:I
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should beC K@ Cx
> > directed elsewhere.
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