HR MEMO
To all Employees:> > Effective January 2007 D.@'p ]} ]h{s
> >
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assumeF$e h'SbR s"z
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.k y&q+\ W
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer'pt6X$]R.X1w R
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.b8B Y*L}%m#y
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you/mS7N9Q9X'{8W
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise.(u*E | x/SF
> >+} Fd&^UH8`j)W/w
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as5` sU2J;H:Wq
> > proof of sickness.7u?xjG
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are ableVk,F;VER `B ]GO\
> > to come to work.lO ^K!k0|Y
> >5F1v7I\~H1C0@
> > Holiday DaysK aNC uc
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days aZ/db q$]"|3F
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-:O$ll2X!efI@"Q @ L
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non- a1O _Q RfZ
> > employees attend to the arrangements.6_4C3I D/D X-V;S"Su
> > In rare cases where employee involvement isVs:B9n y
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early. ^K&K/^C#k,kSP;I _
> >
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in thePI{8p:]2wv9U!sSx0V
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit/m `'BiI/`
> > in the cubicles..ffSat
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.9ff0m i@ Q'A0Z
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.bD7{$`:T;O Mf V
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be-Z)@ y PlC H UU(XY
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.)i5jF{4G'D
> >
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive0u4c#qn`9M6|!w
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be j \)y&s&{p tj
> > directed elsewhere.
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