HR MEMO
To all Employees: S7Fr/qE ^"w7r.U> > Effective January 2007kS/I'y-e#v s
> >
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume gH'@([)L
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.[%^&[T C{i/~U
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer^:f3K7]$zA$E1D,} gi
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.'j/gNa&MbG;D
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where youcF'c0y J0p+I%HT2x n#L
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise.
> > J;I-F4f'x:~$e}
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as%F ?.G:V"K,K u:^3Bd
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able \5i"?*b2[
> > to come to work.b z c1]Hvz ?
> >
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday."hQ8f X-k
> >kfMjcI9X
> > Compassionate Leave R?$V&F9v9y6r1J
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-C FK&pV C,_d
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work%ls;?'GkeqX-a
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one rpk-d }r~
> > hour early.
> >J vT/tiKPV JU
> > Toilet Usek'U8}4q;`r
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit`|5{EfI nv
> > in the cubicles.,h7lBv8y#?u4~(I,k
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle B A0C5v1J@([-D
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.A(Y qn m
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under thePd8P4w Y
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will bekUp8tB V[
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.:R$|h4[,u2D&d c*s
> >~_ f%_#Il
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal toY)Pv8N3R
> > maintain their average figure.7}i8S._:] nZU5k
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time;i"o7S O Y U m8p
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are9c"{{!fu6a3e,c
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, C h c6BY'o-K-P
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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