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tonylo 發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM

HR MEMO

To all Employees:W:F]zs(x*EH
> >                     Effective January 2007P`0KWq6x9A [
> >9CG"qpJF0X
> > Dress Code|!b5NXW`N
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
x0HL5V${:c$R > > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
"E+wZ2TO)U(w"C > > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume6vf(?)KK2ItA
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
T.M~ p;y \-k > > need a pay raise.
T6e^&dOvc-\-iP:| > > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage,[O?}+dT2j9L
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
(\ c| H J$l D[.HG > > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.!fO&k+eRF)|
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you/K"r!}-Q4}Pe+e
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay-X_-mD!HL6f9l
> > raise.;d9^KC f-i
> >
d#E7lN!G O > > Sick Days
`(Y-nG#qrz;~ > > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
/a v:m(`lk2wU > > proof of sickness.
^ N WC @R{,G1r+^3g s > > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
o3ipA,S"N > > to come to work.o:GR,I2q][
> >r$af3\#UX` j
> > Holiday Days
;[5p$v;_S(d?:J > > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
uZ/J~yZI > > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.|a/vcr7]$l7uU r%?
> >
%aW:S wEe > > Compassionate Leave
7zryd[_/QJ > > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothingTd&@G+];c {g^3T
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
0a7Su ZDx~]P > > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
o6] Z]~rP&Y,J > > employees attend to the arrangements.
+^)q a-{4B.o > > In rare cases where employee involvement is
p`\*^Uq > > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
3w`%j J$g[ c&S0GU > > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
%Onb3T$z \ > > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
;Ll4eJ-`%C > > hour early.,SK$H6eH+E$z{ [3a3k,V
> >k]7_2W$`ui
> > Toilet Use2?jt![^gO3n(_b
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
5S Iw)}Y _Z+N#@ > > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit$T3i8S1y&`6p
> > in the cubicles.To\]:|7zD1t
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
%w/RC-i$t+u7O"[ > > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
NAV&`l > > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
o?!\@:e&\ |U2V Td > > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be&YD#{S%s;z6V O^
> > posted on the company notice board under the,R/D~+Z+U |
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
$TL _O#tv N R"} > > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
'Tb5Q8a8H T(K @6w > > sanctioned under the company's mental healthzm Q ^yE4f1W$E"i,H`
> > policy./~P;A!jBd
> >
(dBJ#Q TKU!qv$nb > > Lunch BreakV-`LZ4E|.}#cF
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
2qb7Zu0rt j%oO^m > > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.t*R h ~)Yt ]g
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to0d,E_u*|Mhf)q
> > maintain their average figure.
1@5c%a6uj @L3_k1}I > > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time O9X` wJ%ftSC
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.%k3l}6v'B2Lt3]
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are|6u)u b!JV)pq
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive&w0]8D3f,D
> > employment experience.
L+N\)qHE(VT)TDz4[ > > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
'^:]E$WB5i7oqt > > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
/x}r)g:te(zDqj G > > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
.u(T!M)ks f > > directed elsewhere.

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