HR MEMO
To all Employees: @fejAN,i1C"c6~q c> > Effective January 2007"C~3@ Q Q0i2_(OC
> >"ZHM0V;O%v!C
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed V,w3IMJ\#x
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.zUx4{ Rr
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.'J9R~ U)ok
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you^#M'L/k5V/\hB
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay-URV H,x
> > raise.rf ]H.E2l U
> >
> > Sick DaysAw"S R]
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as/\jE7B)e;B
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work.2lp?c3E`T$X
> >`,I dq9RzX
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a$`"A Y np X%_-^"m
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing`k-b i's D4G"h4r
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-Z ?y{R)Lv
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements. P] gJtr
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is2B1_+} U G wT0qn(B
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the6P [$r t#nM(l#f+{8n1c
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early.zD8dnk:k"g
> >1xv;yU`Q
> > Toilet Use5[+?1[,f W!D
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will u:F h YRX [){8W
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the$g KRv7u N.{*[b#c
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.
> >z~WZ.r.Ua
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they:G:dc.k ~3g-I}D
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.*f;vOZZd G z2o7z,j1F
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time NGY~M V ^j
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast. U:]%~vg&q!w!J
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience.)n;FFx-OF1uI @
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be M"bU!V.v5S nD*?
> > directed elsewhere.
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