HR MEMO
To all Employees:Q0v3} M wdK w{> > Effective January 2007;y5R u4c v g+P)bv [3KG
> >
> > Dress Code%Z _:[Y SLt%w
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed,y'|1J b#`7^A
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing'P ]$xc z'@2z
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume R]_ gX5~ K
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do note0i%Hw Y+j5|%S
> > need a pay raise. k3F#u!Y^%y N
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage/OBm4z4u&C| _ z
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer9k;U K5M&D8t.a"j0S
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you?(`.F Z6Hz8`!m
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay:JS.w#r!l
> > raise.C&{O u3nK%E g7M{
> >
> > Sick Days3q*o5N`4~'N1g B r
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as Em9GP`8X7YQ
> > proof of sickness.8] OTa4x4L
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able ] Q.p,A4f['~{:]T5h
> > to come to work.([q(R p/e`bX;[h Gf
> >-to E1w%y1] t+{7X
> > Holiday Days!K F/a&V+\3T5sh A
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.)B:}V F | I9S:|$O|
> >x oj1\+j
> > Compassionate Leave$T3]S!T-wN
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing$}*J.Z&~/j zf
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-u,n9^}3A9o v4I
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the8@5[4G Ydy
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work Y*?0y1w ?1cG&iz
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one"]?)x(R&sN2E i
> > hour early.
> >
> > Toilet Use6@ S1I!x o%T b3[
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the4{W&} {Q,^5R l T C
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limitf v,}Yq J2J jMF+j
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle|e.k._,?g
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be6r t c ~k E l
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.+\8r Y9n(s K.^C1_'X
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be7Zo {&vId I)E
> > sanctioned under the company's mental healtht&Sv p{.jb ?
> > policy.syQB%w
> >
> > Lunch BreakC+@W,hH'K n Oi
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they L#oH0['_ Li
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time^$}3_ BM3O mO/}8c
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,.jQ3oyU)h
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be9G];N WdCi
> > directed elsewhere.
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