HR MEMO
To all Employees:^:e%f6q.u'Yp> > Effective January 2007
> > l"n [#T|d-m
> > Dress Code3sa C#x:w%e V
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed-}_1Hx6f5F$f7PM
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assumeiN O7pjd-O2P
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not @}:\ S0x1a"rT9c
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to managew \.BA yu%l(d
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer&{ V ^*[)V8x
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you!`1x0e K X:h)y
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a paym1V?-K2gj Z;cA x3d j
> > raise.
> >
> > Sick Days oX` w/R+m)MW!w
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate asx f BQwK*h cE
> > proof of sickness.,c+Uo1F&kD
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work.
> >
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >"i7a ~CA2tzt P0T+s
> > Compassionate LeaveJ^:^ ~*\!^%q @c8KO
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-y S _2D:l z6m2Q
> > employees attend to the arrangements.-z{ a-G6g.VPI
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the-Vx@+j ki*Kh
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early./et+N}/z
> >
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the9ymH)b CIF[#]
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will_8i X0L&O s
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle-jOM/vBdc*{E%d(D
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken./J@HOh n xB[
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health h7])@|1mZ
> > policy.doPv`Q
> >
> > Lunch Break VVZv!W-M(X
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal toqH,P'O&LV FcXp
> > maintain their average figure. {&`Q9Y2F3o-i?E
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the timec c7|X.y'z
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience. [Q.P }F4^
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, @Jf vKI5\\:Ia
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be qzd,H P.`)T7z
> > directed elsewhere.
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