HR MEMO
To all Employees:x6I:hQ s"P~> > Effective January 2007
> >4c#]2N8C3G%C+^+\9Z ~
> > Dress Codew r"K;R_ bI
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressedP3]8v5Dq p v"vu
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assumeC9ry K sw2hh$Pf }
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not WsZQU&MXc
> > need a pay raise."x*^ Sq?
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise./B(sQ"P L T5a
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you2m;e#d3Wfd#R
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise. o \"Z,x ?8Y
> >
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
> > proof of sickness.3SOE0P&x p
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are ableAr(I!G;n:Xr-p` NJ
> > to come to work.
> >otV \/Z`2{
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. EFk0Zn-a o X1^"A*H
> >`Po!_%s$C+L
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothingB6G4o f k)~0sn
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-1w0R[6g.xi:B~p&}
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.4^9dm#e%A
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is-`'R L]~M
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the9XG"f6|m X.X
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early.
> > nJ)O0\z6U:[&LQ1t#J
> > Toilet Use0X"]0| lL,g X.^"u?:h
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in theZ a+E:l;U
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit&O,o1nw9J
> > in the cubicles."B @[(l1f7L
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will F6W.|(l @'ZCb(n
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.B1fAZ3kQ N)]
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the!k2k7}N:d9O~
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will bevj{D;M D*o8w&yk
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.!Hi w)|)~%s
> >
> > Lunch Break J r1psy.ZO
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they1vt/k|*gxAq J
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.e1|1a H-j5c N:U5h
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are&w[ gm.yu
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive%n'H i1`3mT5t/Wrx p D
> > employment experience.R$l2G^oCCQ!C-]
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,4`$EJ1BA;f
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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