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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
! k; L' `/ L n1 \+ V; s> > Effective January 2007
z# _) M* M0 X> >$ |6 H: ]2 t. F1 Q
> > Dress Code: v) a* `/ u- f
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed' }* o. ^' b" i& N; @
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
# B/ e1 {! w% G( p+ z z> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
0 u1 V: _) y( c; H# l" G% r> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not) j% z l' V6 T9 j. R! e6 I
> > need a pay raise.
( C4 A! ^$ w# i% [( R9 \7 S; \# g> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage0 {; J7 U2 D: {1 f
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
8 H5 Q$ J" _' x& P# Z> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.+ N! u8 m0 m; Z1 Q5 G
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
1 e K0 t) n& W) w> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
* t+ Z5 N' o! c0 n: ?; y& q> > raise., H% f) |/ m8 H( j4 a# l% q
> >
* `# f6 t( ?3 h& X4 G4 G% F- O6 `> > Sick Days
, O& t& ?) F0 i, E> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
" T9 x6 V, O3 L: Y* [6 w> > proof of sickness.
* {8 b* h% S0 `* F- b$ a> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able9 T1 x: M/ J) |; A. j
> > to come to work.7 _1 a ?. s l( l1 V. u
> >
/ X: o) m! c1 H# D+ S> > Holiday Days
' ]: D8 h! t) p+ Z# c2 p5 y> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a0 R8 D+ n' Z: s
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.6 P+ S7 \( N; h$ {: v0 H- R, a9 j
> >
% M( J9 S: N8 ^3 \> > Compassionate Leave
2 x; u9 K$ [: _6 |> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing: S- d" L2 p$ D, t% q1 k7 O4 K8 h
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
( K; ?( C/ _; V, h# u/ l/ t/ ~> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-0 \' u g7 M6 r) ?, O
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
& x( `7 }8 S) h> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
1 [, `+ [6 n- F2 y> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the$ Z, D1 W! w- o# F) _
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work4 v% n3 Z) J7 {) b4 U
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one( I T0 Y: G' p+ s6 A6 L7 Z+ R2 M
> > hour early.' p9 {2 K( _2 ^+ n! d! j) ^; F/ k0 s# w
> >6 J! z9 z: O& }$ W. G9 j, M+ r5 a
> > Toilet Use8 v( y; c6 X0 p
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
* t5 P1 K S: y" z> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
/ {4 k( n% S0 v$ S* g. L! _> > in the cubicles.
( R5 y/ k1 M! p* }> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
$ J5 B& v! H' w1 u. h> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
6 m9 d& ]5 C5 ?, `! _> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
7 |* I0 @- e/ j' k% `" o4 T7 x> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be# f% b/ S+ s5 ^& ]; [' q% n
> > posted on the company notice board under the2 n& k! y7 E: B' H* M) q
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.5 J$ g" o6 R% X/ M
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
& C* U+ f7 n- T8 r( O( c. g# t2 A- |> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
3 N6 [/ I( E% v2 m2 l6 F> > policy." o" m" K$ h; q
> >0 c. J7 T6 g! W* h# I
> > Lunch Break9 d6 L+ ?6 g y$ S1 }5 S% g
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
$ d% a0 B4 J3 L; U1 p> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.- ?2 O- P, R4 t3 u- a2 ^
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to$ B. d" @2 _6 ? t3 s$ y1 ?5 o
> > maintain their average figure.; @( }+ [* f7 J
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
1 h: N `; j+ A& o3 w> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast." F4 b7 W8 U6 z" F. }4 k- D
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are# ]; i" t; Y* Z3 s' c' q" i; x1 {
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
6 v6 d, ^& |: i/ [. O> > employment experience.5 F: T6 {. G- V; t% k, @
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
* B- K$ u# B1 t0 _* j> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,5 d1 H' A% j; _6 F2 c
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
" f& n# s5 W) n% A; U6 h8 R0 p> > directed elsewhere. |
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