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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
3 B" h" B5 D% i> > Effective January 20071 w4 B8 l5 j6 M3 N, h
> >
& D+ R7 @7 ?6 u7 A( M> > Dress Code
: {1 C: l, z" x/ G' H> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
3 @$ j( O2 g( I+ s> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing X( }( I; G9 e F8 P
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume. P, V9 C. ?. o! ^ c
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not( |4 U" h$ i3 N7 x- N, N- h$ n/ b
> > need a pay raise.7 M7 s' o" Z( k
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
( t6 l9 L, s1 ` j# [> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
7 R5 Z2 W7 F3 L) K1 R> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.' K& E5 ?% n# `( r5 n, t3 b, t
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
m& j) j0 c; o% u& a> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
8 `) \7 L4 L* @> > raise.; A% U$ Z* b$ _( a( U) N
> >
* ~; |/ d. [6 N. N' m* O0 _> > Sick Days2 I& b, X, j1 s. t; f0 S9 X
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
+ H5 D& _2 u- A& |* v: K! R+ \> > proof of sickness.4 L1 T$ W* o, `( X+ M
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able% s9 N# t$ q+ N: t( Z- @1 |
> > to come to work.! @ l; `$ U6 c( `+ P& K; P/ e2 H
> >
$ h. Q, l: N; C3 {1 S+ ?# m9 a) l3 n> > Holiday Days
' D$ E) Q. k# v> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
9 x4 }2 Y' Q9 L. f2 C$ o1 z3 T> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
5 B# S% T2 \' l# y+ {: E5 {> >( x3 D( a$ g) c
> > Compassionate Leave ?9 E6 v8 X8 l) R, J
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing) z& F' i" {+ K7 C$ s8 C
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-" x( O% ?; @% e: D; V* ?5 M! Y
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-7 ?4 y2 k& j2 q
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
& N2 t/ o2 g' x* p D6 `> > In rare cases where employee involvement is* X; d' e% R7 T% A9 ~
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
) Q& U2 V4 J* z' |6 S- W> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
7 Z+ s7 r7 G- p# t> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one5 Y/ ?+ U! j. o! u. D
> > hour early.
9 f* P. I$ q$ g' N+ Y5 f* y) N> >
0 ^2 Y' K' B6 s" O) o> > Toilet Use- |$ b1 T" C1 p1 r, F/ X$ c! O
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the' s+ t; u, X; r, ~. V# q3 e4 @
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
$ }* y$ U' g( z: o/ u4 J> > in the cubicles.! t0 @. r' T: q B) K+ q. n8 y, V& l
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
9 ^# f* q' @0 z$ e> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
( C3 i p6 X( o2 V& m) j9 g> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.) h3 L- o) x2 q- J- D7 J# a
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be! ?0 K9 s; k; w
> > posted on the company notice board under the* v+ g' }2 }& r( \/ c2 P& k, Q
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
6 t& }$ C; T# i) A2 o> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
p0 O) A0 i9 x- a> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
' e( D% q( E, P8 A+ N& L( Q> > policy.
5 e9 [6 |* k" u' v9 I1 T> >
/ L# |6 n6 o( {2 Z- V8 G7 s> > Lunch Break6 C3 q) I) Z0 s* f
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they: A# M# c( T: U. |0 p# R
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
6 A5 O4 C& e0 G/ l3 |> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
( z, A/ x* @% _" [, b> > maintain their average figure.
z6 f5 Z! B: }. y> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
+ k# x' l- z, t> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.; K: c# o2 j* Q$ R" H
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are2 y# n2 {% w4 s9 a X
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive7 s0 N$ ?* v k
> > employment experience.- ~7 {" B& Y8 n |* G( o
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,1 O6 U' t! ]: v6 K e1 R% J' P
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,- a6 j5 L- F4 \3 }, w3 m
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be; _$ u; N! M+ X5 R8 a6 ?" \
> > directed elsewhere. |
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