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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:- D. e# S/ K4 i- S
> > Effective January 20079 N* u, C- }, B5 b9 X1 P: p
> >- S/ z* _0 k, J5 e
> > Dress Code. I+ ?& v; d3 V! d/ ?
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
) K6 s5 }6 T4 E/ D> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
E# F0 b2 m& ] F> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
6 n- M5 c5 ^/ b: }> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
+ z1 o& c3 i: J$ _3 F> > need a pay raise.7 E d, C# J8 n# P2 b: E' o2 \
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage9 ]! h4 a0 g% K/ f2 m
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer0 w2 T6 F5 k- c1 G1 M
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
1 N. D# M' n, e6 H0 u> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
% ]; n0 V+ o( n. ?4 g> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay# \- L- d, L8 U& a' K! U/ i
> > raise.
' K( `; |3 m3 `" \> >9 m0 w. N! ~9 x a, q, w1 U
> > Sick Days
/ j9 M6 N2 q: A; E5 Q; j1 @> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as1 ^' |- Q7 u. U d
> > proof of sickness.
2 O& N; f) D, q4 H> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
& T0 t# }) k& d2 c. ^% B; U5 I: j" \> > to come to work.
, _! W+ e0 h0 \1 g0 p" d> >
5 V: j7 d( o% W- R* U> > Holiday Days% X0 m; b1 p4 f9 `6 J, @7 t( V
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a5 p6 P' x0 w5 W1 q' S' x1 a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
/ ^) U d8 [. i e> >/ j# z6 j6 K) L) J, b
> > Compassionate Leave5 S o( i8 W$ Z& d) n
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
+ |# t; [: C! v" D0 g( n> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-/ F5 }; r: o8 ]2 v/ A% P* F5 h
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-. Q; D8 V# |2 g& i: {& V
> > employees attend to the arrangements.6 W' i' @" g* x! F5 o' P/ H" }
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
" D; J; Q& f1 Y h( V# }" {' Q& _> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the4 V* b) k1 _# M; P. J2 ^% [
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
" e, O* Y6 \2 u T- F> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one" Y1 S' J8 W# J4 c! i0 s+ ~: m/ N- Y
> > hour early." A4 U3 }1 w3 t3 `6 s K0 k
> >+ M( p: Z! ]8 y# z( X
> > Toilet Use
7 w) R5 {" l; V; D% F! `> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
l6 Y6 D- y5 ]! T4 ?4 D; O> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit& e3 t) O/ p% }
> > in the cubicles.
% w; D2 d. Q+ k3 h! p3 z> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will! [1 }. x+ `4 v* D$ z& w
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle' N6 F: a+ L. Q3 e3 H0 t( a
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.0 d0 e: C, \7 o2 H4 S" i. v
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
- t; r, |# f$ a, B: b> > posted on the company notice board under the4 K) F1 s# g; N% O2 _4 q6 G
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.# g8 f. j' a+ f& ~# I: V9 N8 o
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
; [1 h, c# c. V5 _3 h+ P> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
! P7 v! ~! N% T/ l( K& `- t! L> > policy.. e/ O/ K1 m2 u$ s# _( \1 n2 t
> >, j! a+ D; o; o( f
> > Lunch Break
@* D$ T( N6 y9 D$ q2 f> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they0 ]/ b( a7 i- \6 @! O( W4 A6 M
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
* S& g8 Q0 d, l2 ^ L* o> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
. @# o0 ]' {: Z* `+ }7 W: a( f> > maintain their average figure.+ a/ j7 ~2 q5 b; u# K8 A
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time' K' f. i( k( b5 ?. I' U' Z1 J
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.. } Z/ t1 o. \8 B& t
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are+ y/ n% ~; n; _ a8 J% Q+ E
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
7 M3 W8 G( S4 V> > employment experience.
7 I" A C8 o- D" L l' `> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
# \9 d+ h, x) }9 S4 J$ R> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
& Q8 q) b2 W/ p& W% ~> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
9 }' u# t. j5 Y' P> > directed elsewhere. |
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