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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:0 f" n: {* G$ Z0 _ M
> > Effective January 2007
% J8 h/ k. o2 e/ S6 L. W> >
- }+ K/ e9 ?7 ?7 @> > Dress Code2 |/ d1 b3 S2 @# d* q
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed9 A. ?' a2 d9 x+ Q- f8 P
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
# S/ \. L$ z y% X- P> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume1 ] S' S( B( @/ B# {' I
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not2 v# P8 o. L* l5 a5 @5 J
> > need a pay raise.
: A2 i4 h4 z2 ^5 x- m& G2 k> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage) g; s# U1 x' g1 u) f: g
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer0 Y9 V. L. F" g: Q
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
/ H4 S d4 I- L! C# J> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you, t0 [0 [0 M" q- q* J
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
; m. K) H4 h4 \4 |6 g> > raise." o, G7 e7 m. r3 b; f; Y" R/ x
> >4 O, N c5 D/ I: t8 z( h
> > Sick Days( T# H- e3 R9 l; X
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as( T/ f0 t6 u! m/ R) k2 Z8 i
> > proof of sickness.- i9 {# k* h1 O5 Q
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able9 C+ ?: A. C- e t+ U1 G$ E
> > to come to work.8 }$ Q6 c( S' o; l. v4 \
> >
$ K0 J/ l5 B @9 t3 k/ b* F> > Holiday Days
" Y5 J; @$ L) q; w2 m6 u7 u> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
q) s8 `+ ^: R* K z+ o) _3 P6 f> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
( R- @) o% S8 z4 K6 L> >; q' W. F2 x* m
> > Compassionate Leave
1 p0 g, l* D( [3 ~+ H2 g1 ?> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing z* z0 ?* y8 N0 h
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
& N9 ~% f- r, T* b$ ?> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
) V: {' N- M! u# B> > employees attend to the arrangements., P3 f# ^& c7 O
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is2 E& f: e( c- |1 h" N
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
! d# G ?3 m) C2 n( c) P> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work: H$ N1 F: l! B$ T. S3 |& L% x
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
# X2 }0 `# m2 |" \- D5 E, ~7 T4 u> > hour early.$ O% X) C( w' ?
> >
' w; R7 c0 Z) t6 r( y) e; T1 B> > Toilet Use
* {# t$ H9 W5 ]> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the# K% e5 S+ y. ^
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit" R1 v: B5 b) h/ v/ m
> > in the cubicles.
9 w: L9 \) v4 N: _> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
P, V4 O' A/ P% a9 d> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
8 J% i0 e8 G# n# ?& q0 \> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
* {4 X, m2 W5 E4 Z# q> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be4 f4 y( M) Z% F0 }; D
> > posted on the company notice board under the; u5 m: n, Z. C0 C- h. c0 Q! F# V( U
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
9 P* o, z" Y$ W+ H+ D* b8 C6 B> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
4 R0 N# L! e: l9 l+ o b a9 c> > sanctioned under the company's mental health; p1 j; e+ T+ R5 J
> > policy.
" I( W( f& U, G! P, ^ V> >) n4 w/ [% V; f' f
> > Lunch Break e8 a7 p& |& W) b
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they9 m% P" t! o4 J; P
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
9 ^4 h% V) K8 x2 u9 n% Q5 \/ d# j/ X> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
" P+ o0 R# u1 o$ I8 ]2 u+ o- m> > maintain their average figure.
T' c, q; ^. v4 ?> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
3 h) H5 C: K A7 ^/ p* ]> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
, I Y0 i4 G5 v# {: e: W> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are7 ~6 d9 o5 S: `# y
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive3 l4 \! b. |! g3 r) E: U
> > employment experience.8 C: T! w* m* H) |3 l
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,, R, y. ~$ _3 P) L5 G+ w( |; m
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,4 d) I7 {! U9 x% o
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be- [6 x$ [* G" f+ ?
> > directed elsewhere. |
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