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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:6 V" M6 p" C, Q/ M; i% P
> > Effective January 2007
[7 ]6 w- l: A! ?7 n/ d, T> >
& L+ y/ e9 Y( W) G> > Dress Code
! F& k& b5 ?0 d: y/ K8 b> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed2 f2 c5 {7 n5 K5 e8 W5 n
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing" d7 y# l' Q/ j8 |) u
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
' \" q4 c7 J3 s. U* i> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not" \) j$ T6 c4 _$ V: S) j
> > need a pay raise.
& ]$ u6 @% O$ T' T! X> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
. X2 r; W# ~' @; v+ q> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer2 ^. k" k* g+ K& T
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.6 s0 p. U6 ]* O2 n9 S) C$ ^+ s
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you8 n0 I( _( d/ ]1 f t2 Q' y
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
' b6 G2 T& U) F4 n" U/ O2 g> > raise.
W! D+ M2 J! e* {8 e# D+ H) a0 q> >7 A6 d% x' Z2 ?# G P* L0 L
> > Sick Days- v/ R* x7 ~( Y- Z) R" `9 x
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as1 |6 u" j2 i9 B$ \0 O6 i/ h
> > proof of sickness.
) @0 i6 l: @. i: z5 R" g> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able+ O. v0 z" @. O0 V$ F v
> > to come to work. F5 f' k j- U. u1 W9 L0 g% B4 { h1 f3 f
> >
- M3 u7 m: L6 n" r3 }$ r> > Holiday Days+ Z- x5 Z) F. ]( d% V
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
- D8 f: \0 ~% w> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.+ q) G% k* L) L1 z' O
> >
2 |0 E+ j; q: N, { J> > Compassionate Leave
Q3 n& n( y1 h( k- w9 _' E> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing# t8 D0 Z( |6 V2 n& G& t
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-. _# P+ P2 c2 D9 K- h
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-$ `( b1 ]; L3 q) z
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
( b. Y* o/ {& b; j" a: t> > In rare cases where employee involvement is6 _6 X: H- U- c0 o1 n
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the0 Z6 C. @, K" `
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
, ^: C. F0 ^3 u8 x& J+ m+ y> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
1 S' [ z. U% V, ? D1 s# j> > hour early.
: I, m% _+ M% E1 k; V# j: ?: Z> >* u9 @. ^2 X' l4 D: G
> > Toilet Use7 f$ D# t: _) F* l3 W
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the' [. P i7 E& ?2 t0 p6 H7 Q/ Q
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
* |" x# t9 P2 W3 P5 \4 O> > in the cubicles.4 p8 X$ i' Y, g$ w. K0 }# X
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
( B5 w7 f% G, U9 o% O* U- m> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle6 U( C6 F5 ~ {' [
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken. O, J8 S/ i4 k* c5 D! a
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be- h# _1 U# O! o8 Z3 J
> > posted on the company notice board under the1 U& n. I! ^! g2 G+ _
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
& D. c9 H3 [! ]! x$ k> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be5 Z4 k' o, L E3 M7 X
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
! N3 j& X- w9 q> > policy.
. b1 W8 Y& b& z> >
% X L) Z& |9 x9 @> > Lunch Break c$ s/ b" _; C% L& q" B. L
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
' z _$ p8 l3 w3 i& S! U> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.8 y. C+ `* D" d
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
; w( N2 e# I( {# ]* p% n b> > maintain their average figure.5 T% Q2 [1 _$ P* y0 A$ o
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time) t; ?- U( z: y
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
% V4 b: _3 t* ^& D! L: \> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
$ C" q/ W( O3 Q& o> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
$ f4 ?# C% u- t- B. E; Y8 o- i> > employment experience.- j$ F+ x% D+ u0 y. S3 G; K$ i
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,1 w6 M/ w' X' n9 R8 W
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
, ]# G' |6 u- u, ^> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be* t t6 A6 K4 d/ W/ b) E
> > directed elsewhere. |
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