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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:9 W- B4 u* q1 ~! _ n. C
> > Effective January 2007
& J0 j4 y% F! _. g* h7 U1 I& s/ ?> >4 a8 b1 s0 Y Y3 w
> > Dress Code
}! u6 M, U& }! a! E: a1 t> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed1 q: E0 f- d' ]& ?& ?" P7 Q, j; \
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
0 _# N5 F; J" k* q+ q2 Y* C+ c> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
& y5 N7 J4 N1 }$ S> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
* D3 b2 q9 c( U4 }' c> > need a pay raise., U8 C9 H7 r- W2 x8 q$ B, ]7 j
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
) X- P& u$ F$ K) a% ~> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer. J' Q- c( E' {8 Q2 F+ t z
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
. i) ]. g* H9 U9 X% N8 N> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
+ B: q) W) W v- `% w" F, T6 q> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay! \0 h3 E4 N; Q" V
> > raise.
" [4 m/ c/ [8 q' V0 P; |> ># t: e" V) G n- P4 E. |
> > Sick Days2 h! o0 I2 n) k5 }
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as3 f7 z: N6 m3 Y7 M1 F
> > proof of sickness.
, T$ t9 b. {& B$ ?> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able/ j3 x1 o7 g6 j) s) ^4 O4 Z
> > to come to work.
) t+ o8 G2 @8 U> >
& r( d3 {' X; G/ n0 ^, N> > Holiday Days" V- P: x& M0 v9 j
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a5 @& ~* m+ S8 d! w; O6 N* l) v
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
. z6 d8 q& ]% s" p> >
. x" h( f) a6 _7 o> > Compassionate Leave
! n+ l% V& k$ }> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing! N2 s1 G4 K& i" H3 n K" P
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
0 m! u8 M: f& s> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
* `3 K& c/ ?: o0 |, h8 B2 R( `> > employees attend to the arrangements.
& I! D$ ^" q+ O" ]0 E> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
/ L5 w3 [" U* Z- c> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
. s" Z9 I) m: X+ V> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
) S, e! V, i1 [3 W4 ~+ i9 W8 u& r> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one+ G6 s. j) S8 T1 p% c) d5 i1 L
> > hour early.
* z& A+ A2 e* r2 |3 ?> >8 m$ Z* h5 p' S9 F2 l
> > Toilet Use
* W" G5 }: F& O+ h, {> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the* h, H M2 v. n
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit, ]! F6 ?/ ?, P: [
> > in the cubicles.) k; R9 a0 S% ?3 E. r
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
/ s! u) M! u( l$ w> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle8 i! A: e4 @9 I6 O5 j0 [, Z
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
$ k+ ^' S# {. i5 C- t7 |2 }; q/ a! J> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
2 \3 k* Y. ]7 `/ @> > posted on the company notice board under the0 r D B$ ?8 }) n5 B
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
+ x# }- i5 E1 }. U7 o8 _1 q> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be( b1 l, V+ T9 _& m4 Q
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health8 Z3 H* z3 F4 w- w
> > policy.4 ~& @) i* [' |1 s9 _
> ># W) m/ B; G! \4 o7 X r
> > Lunch Break
, s- f6 I3 @! Y3 S7 ?- n2 @> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they, h5 h% ~8 \0 [
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
* Q) e: H( d7 z$ T1 x' M3 ~> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
& c P# p) s, p: S7 O( n, H4 |> > maintain their average figure.
% |7 g2 M/ h- { r2 C0 Z& ~3 |> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time: |- _/ }- B& ]) [# ^
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
2 v' a! j7 o! D% g> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are' l% n$ s8 _7 H
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive$ Q6 \9 c6 G9 R# A7 b
> > employment experience.7 w o* c, L6 L! y+ }' h1 H$ D
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,4 I% k; r# N& f) ~' ?! `
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
. s0 M3 t* W- M5 t; X> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be, J( H0 u S: F) O. w
> > directed elsewhere. |
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