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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:# r- @2 O! T& w/ A7 V
> > Effective January 20078 c2 J. |$ [. U5 A
> >
; r1 C# _ d3 W' X> > Dress Code
( Q; s( {! r! N3 a/ s8 h6 j: P' t> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
( O. f5 @* }0 I4 }> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing0 q9 c2 b" |' p- j+ I2 x
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
7 E# \. r; S' D5 W5 a* d> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
4 `$ ]( Q& E+ S9 F- f) P> > need a pay raise.
4 Y5 H0 D& t: @. _ k+ q3 _+ H> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage: J, s6 z2 I N* J4 ^
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer& ]1 p$ O; b) W% S$ f) }* `
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.! q! I N( U; I/ W
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
0 A5 K% \; a5 E2 y# o% c> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
0 v. T9 D6 |, x* Y7 @6 R> > raise.
0 _) k$ D0 W, [ ] z> >! B/ P' I& Y4 x0 S' u6 `4 F
> > Sick Days
: F6 [* q1 o+ \# A% W! L5 ^+ l> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as3 W+ Y) ^4 @+ W! c
> > proof of sickness.
' d/ v1 `" ^" _> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able. r7 }6 F* ^) v$ h0 B Q0 E6 \5 ~
> > to come to work.
# C1 J# x7 Q" ]. S% S0 ^1 E, i> >5 m3 ]6 @/ T/ T6 B
> > Holiday Days
/ F1 D7 I& E9 V2 x8 X' d0 Q> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a$ T+ V* q8 C- J p* U* ?
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.6 R' U T+ Y% q$ a+ l; c! e
> >4 l) Q9 o9 X7 ?4 b: b2 b" |2 U
> > Compassionate Leave6 S ]1 l R5 J! d5 q
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
( q( M9 S/ z! ?' d> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
4 c2 e5 ]) W/ I3 z> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-2 N# P+ Z! i: E4 T% k% _$ k6 e
> > employees attend to the arrangements.; J6 e5 h$ N7 O- O" T$ U
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
1 l: J4 q0 M5 c r3 P> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
' Y: f+ {! A& n0 _; Q9 V4 @& B4 X> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work9 F/ e0 U0 p" A1 [
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one- w/ J. Q/ F) l8 ^3 r- N' v0 B
> > hour early.
, A: F' n+ N( G+ A> >" D9 g( ]4 l F9 h5 k: ]8 a, a
> > Toilet Use1 c. q& L4 C1 O2 B. @% a5 k
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
5 P' c a) ?% v! H7 {1 w2 Z2 t" p. B> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit! G! ~0 w# Q" T3 Y: C A9 `. W
> > in the cubicles.! Q8 q+ a9 E' b
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
( c& A% a( ^$ k$ T> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
9 }, u: D5 z* [> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.9 d; G) B3 d% o/ Y3 V
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be2 L6 c+ `9 p- ^9 ?7 D/ `7 C
> > posted on the company notice board under the
, o3 q4 B5 j9 y- r- C8 q1 E5 @> > "Chronic Offenders" category.5 k% d/ l+ T& }0 |2 f
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
- N7 ?# ~7 L( }8 K. P> > sanctioned under the company's mental health# O+ H. Q2 l( [+ F! a/ B
> > policy." V& o( ~" z L# }* F1 f4 Y
> >
* {. ^1 o+ j, Z8 I> > Lunch Break8 B% G' N+ @. N$ o* c, h0 b
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
; F* O1 \+ E0 \: ~7 t> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.4 p+ n" h; s# _0 ?
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
* r5 H C# _9 u( P' q# r> > maintain their average figure.
. |2 ~( E4 z1 l I- g! V6 f/ |> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time7 s6 H, {9 [% r5 a$ N
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
2 M+ s/ k3 d" G- V L% O> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
! G4 _) @* \8 A8 X% M* B6 s6 E7 D> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
. I" A; v; Z9 t& W$ A> > employment experience.0 v+ D- B, E$ U7 N4 V. |
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,4 C5 y/ M3 s* ^, t
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,8 [7 c% i8 M" R M: t) T2 Y
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
- J0 `9 s- p9 }2 `2 c> > directed elsewhere. |
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