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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
- a3 ^1 ]4 D0 o' b$ X> > Effective January 2007
y& J! Q( [' }( n> >
& o0 J) Q- Z6 V7 n. f> > Dress Code
1 o/ w) p4 j7 H( e> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed6 c1 Z8 {7 V4 t- y/ s
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
# u( J: J- `7 t9 f1 y( }( r( z4 v> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume4 h' E2 }7 }7 i4 ^. h1 [. s
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
0 A" b0 q7 i5 b> > need a pay raise.6 p! i2 m& H# O' Q+ c
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage- Y5 C4 a- O- _3 ?- j: W/ t" P
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer$ w6 G$ I' v& g8 L9 h0 g/ Z7 f
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.; ?/ R/ L# f/ ]
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
9 u' n/ i- ?# o) e% ~; Q> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
0 W M$ v- }5 ^) K* [' A, }> > raise., Q/ i- ?7 V# I8 ]" [4 f( M* m' V/ S% A
> >; i6 f* j3 c: u3 q
> > Sick Days
& h8 x: D: x ~" V: P> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as$ f: Z3 o w( F2 C; b* H
> > proof of sickness., O6 E' c) H9 u9 ~
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able4 `3 t4 p: Y/ j' U
> > to come to work.# t/ d6 w' ?4 i$ s, \
> >
& C8 `6 s0 _* c" i: Q> > Holiday Days
) F+ p0 J7 q$ R3 ~/ U A4 [> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
) S- s' |, l* e' \' x, j> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.% b& N% I! I4 n- P1 A
> ># e! g8 C J/ M5 l t, y+ K
> > Compassionate Leave% K S2 |6 P+ g' y7 M$ ^, `
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing: ^7 u6 R% R! \4 u; S" K
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
* z/ M% Z( r2 i1 X> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-6 h" {3 K& z2 [2 i3 L: i+ t. ^
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
3 F- A/ N2 \8 i8 W> > In rare cases where employee involvement is/ O2 U: y( c- i
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the/ H4 o* Z2 T1 ?& v |# M2 R
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work' r U2 P6 R4 i& m
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
' S. f. ~$ S& t" Y> > hour early.8 u7 ^0 i3 a% d) S# `7 ~; x! X
> >3 [7 B& Y( L7 z! S* i
> > Toilet Use
/ ?; P( m' n, e$ n7 y> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the; E3 M5 j9 t! t/ M4 f
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
9 J; x0 C3 s; n" _' P, ?- p> > in the cubicles./ F4 B( E, x' e9 E. p5 N( ^
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will/ S* Q1 P8 m/ n8 o( K, P( ~5 _& I
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
" ~$ s8 s8 G6 h4 k9 j0 d+ V+ |> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.& U" j$ W+ u4 ]0 F; j8 ]4 A$ @) `
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be1 `3 b: t! z1 o- j* M
> > posted on the company notice board under the8 E1 I6 s6 ]* y3 i* l2 d. b
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
1 |7 O/ O) V8 V) V) `% n }4 ~ [- j> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
% t2 K) x+ [3 U$ d$ P6 J- s: g% W> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
. X% ~$ W7 |0 _' g2 G> > policy.& C+ z2 n' v/ h+ F' l' T% k, G- Q
> >
, `! i g/ K6 V> > Lunch Break3 |6 w- L7 m1 k) g( ]
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
. ?- r9 P3 `+ h! i& n; q8 g> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
. y8 J" |' |" u& m3 g1 h7 S> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
, a( m9 N# L7 F9 t> > maintain their average figure.8 W7 [. u' L0 v$ z& j0 L. w
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time l" }/ j6 z) b3 _0 A
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.! d7 _' M5 f7 k/ ]1 W
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are9 }7 C+ b: `; F, o. c
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive: O+ b* H* b' e$ _
> > employment experience.# e+ r7 F! h S9 `7 V# g3 R
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,# d. r d5 a8 S+ M& r J
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
- ~; ]8 ^$ B5 J2 [, w. M# T> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be" s# H1 t3 `% T8 w& _
> > directed elsewhere. |
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