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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
6 ^, h, {* x+ |1 M& |( R$ E4 f> > Effective January 2007- n" @' A; g$ E! d9 L9 w1 x6 m5 z
> >
$ F2 L* S5 i) b1 Q& m' D> > Dress Code
, [9 G5 j( b9 e) [1 {> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed. U) h+ \3 h; s4 f* z$ u
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
5 i5 w$ P: v% \# k/ Q* K$ B1 S o> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
: p( q0 A+ E7 V4 D* b1 E; z( P7 h> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not) G ?4 J# j( n. }. J6 Q& g3 D
> > need a pay raise." n4 `" r/ K c( t& o8 S
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
# B. Q- x. v. v) a3 b3 j> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer4 N5 @& G: b8 M! C$ [. c
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.! B: r- K' P7 D( A
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
4 s9 B" J4 C, b5 U$ R* K/ X> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
! ^: i8 r. ~* y# {2 L3 F> > raise.- O+ T4 _. V0 f' x9 V" [
> >
& A2 j0 d2 X$ m2 M> > Sick Days* F3 P# L5 k5 }3 H. V2 `
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
! o; o5 v- W' P" h* F' h> > proof of sickness.. s0 C: w5 _/ Y5 c4 }5 ?" i- X+ r: Z
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
- d" F& z. q( }2 r, `+ c> > to come to work.
) F. |2 @: Y/ P; @' Z3 O$ y; k' z1 D' O> >
. J" F$ o& o1 o9 P ~ R> > Holiday Days8 T8 ^, x' v, l0 [
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a" q0 Z' I5 z- H( }6 _& k X! Z! m+ ?
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.2 a- c4 A+ _- ~/ h; j" H0 I0 A
> >
' |. T: A: y, Y) q. E+ m0 u/ s1 U> > Compassionate Leave+ c; }- b1 t4 m9 c% s3 h- W6 ^ {
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing3 D; [8 J: G: }- q% t! }
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
( h) L: b8 U- l, W5 f# N# a> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-# f4 ?: X2 e0 _# i
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
O& C7 _! n4 r) K6 a> > In rare cases where employee involvement is H, Y: `$ }+ T! ~ j
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
+ m2 ?1 ^/ G. J" L% u; [& V> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
8 P) @1 Y" q/ ~& O7 F) l> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one5 h8 f) f- G( a w
> > hour early.3 E" u: T, c' h$ n( S+ ^
> >
. Z7 |+ ~& n1 q: H1 L, }+ h* j$ O> > Toilet Use: L3 ^! J- T6 S! R; E
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
# v- p9 H6 r9 M" I# r> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
/ W2 H# I1 J L6 \1 |> > in the cubicles.
. S4 n6 _" X. \8 A. G a: ~4 L" t> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
" \/ G+ P0 X$ T; a/ r C+ b1 L> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle5 D/ L+ q3 G: z+ K+ {4 y2 r
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.- l4 b1 b6 [- f
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
& B" C* e$ H/ d/ u3 y- u> > posted on the company notice board under the3 V. i( r$ H6 ]0 X
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
9 a# B! x& z, `# I: C> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be$ \: ~% A& R, z
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health4 A; W) M8 m1 B3 X. x+ z. H# S
> > policy.7 y0 z* X0 m' L, r
> >1 p: L8 h% P' A
> > Lunch Break
% z0 E$ ^; P( u5 C1 E( O, }* l> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
; H" O; G) X7 z> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.* S: ^1 }2 Q% G9 g( @
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to" x! U4 k M& G3 ?
> > maintain their average figure.
9 f0 U5 G0 F( r8 ]# V> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
8 v/ V% S, w( X: d4 z! e& q3 v> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
; W2 h V+ K; @9 \1 K> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
8 s" v' f* W% X1 U d9 f/ m& O> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
1 O( T h% u9 x I2 ?0 [+ \- S4 K> > employment experience.
1 z! p" \* H! T4 w( C> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
4 C# g; K. t0 Y7 ]# m" j% V/ z& F> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
4 c" e4 R/ j" ~! i! Z6 H> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
. ?$ W4 l1 ^( |- G> > directed elsewhere. |
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