- 帖子
- 1691
- 精華
- 1
- 威望
- 245
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
- 性別
- 男
|
81#
發表於 2005-6-10 04:33 AM
| 只看該作者
Originally posted by 本篤十六世 at 2005-6-10 04:19 AM:
% n' I; J4 `& s' N
# Q& Z" A) P; _, j8 j# j. [! h$ vit doesn't matter,just chat here,I am a very kind gentleman and
4 X/ t' M. c1 ueveryone like me,that's why other moderators are jealous of me. : r8 X0 D6 { f* ^9 j: P' G y; E1 B, m% `: Z1 W7 U9 S! w
Let me just rewrite yours:
- b9 @/ E, @# l' U$ ~It doesn't matter. Please feel free to chat here. I am a very kind person and everyone likes me. That's why other moderators are jealous of me
. p+ C- I9 z% {1 E9 j9 Z% V! x( T( N9 e
1. Don't use "I" to start the sentence all the time...it gives people a childish image of you. Using "I" also means you're always writing in subjective mood...a 'no-no' for serious academic writing!% g0 ]) V) u4 ]1 k3 X2 W$ f% H
2. I noticed you've used the works 'like', 'hate', 'popular' and 'kind' a lot. Overusage makes you look dumb...go to theasaurus and get some new words la.% j! @4 p, {8 K; K. O5 P; [
1 a; h# k* I: p' z% S; d
There are lots of smart guys here....some doing their Ph.D.s and others are doctors....if you mellow a bit it would help your popularity to grow.
/ ~0 e) L$ E. g) t
r8 C; T( G+ ^. B A$ W- WThink about what I have to say la....I know it hurts when you read it.+ _1 }; A, o& d1 I' H
( j; V4 b H% J* `' ^# `- L
Gretz. |
|