To all Employees:3 c: A/ V. |% M8 T. h
> > Effective January 2007 2 N' V. J) R7 K% |* p2 X9 u! n> > & Y. l5 F& J& {+ X> > Dress Code) c5 g4 a& d5 |& C" Z8 t
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed # ?( S: @( ]) Q3 Y> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing * _) \( V! Y' x) B' z> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume $ m" v$ d2 X; O. k0 K/ D> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not/ S' ~1 E4 ~4 K! O/ X" f
> > need a pay raise., }1 J( ]3 F8 d# B
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage; |2 f+ T: n8 G; [0 _
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer) j7 J- b9 \0 B- X
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise. 0 N# h/ J) @2 e6 \> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you( y- \6 h0 A+ @( i# J: R
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay0 U* S, h6 a3 O
> > raise.4 E6 C: r5 I4 y3 w' V" s0 b
> > # V+ b1 n& O" }; V> > Sick Days . L. ]& |/ X2 D5 t4 i+ @7 b> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as5 q- `0 }( d; M! F
> > proof of sickness. + w8 r* s* a, v2 _1 f> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able . b; ]0 M+ e* S& [5 v+ J' H> > to come to work. 1 l) [& g- Q8 n2 k* @2 J> >1 \& C& w! z, O9 a3 t* v
> > Holiday Days' R- x% Z! [! A( L9 ^! t
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a 3 }4 z; T# m; N6 _/ Y; W0 {& R> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.( ~% `- ~* ?5 }1 e2 W
> > + _4 S$ A$ B# G( o/ m _. o" x+ U/ b> > Compassionate Leave 0 n1 R3 u. x7 i> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing ! a. W5 v1 @* E; }+ P @> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- $ O3 G. F: d0 m+ i! w% @ q0 W' m> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non- % L4 I T$ s; {> > employees attend to the arrangements. . I+ s2 c j- T7 B3 n> > In rare cases where employee involvement is 1 [# V# N5 ?* f0 H> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the ! _0 d: M% a$ X& ^0 {- F# m7 S1 o( ~> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work0 u! M" ~7 e, X! |$ I! x# p; c
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one * B' C! y$ }5 F9 q1 L> > hour early. * j4 T) i* T, B( A- [, h: H% k0 |> >2 s' I6 y& k! Y* q9 l
> > Toilet Use& p% I- ~. F3 d) m4 s4 \; g2 k
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the ( m J8 c9 j) Z% T5 f# |9 X> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit Y* v7 u9 P* D0 ^( a# E2 m3 O
> > in the cubicles.9 k9 C0 l7 ?3 H; i' j5 x* A6 A9 R" F
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will! }' t/ @( ^4 p$ B" B
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle 2 l s& \$ W; u: H# Z2 A! W> > door will open, and your picture will be taken./ p& o' b& z2 z R8 x! z; n
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be $ \9 A: k+ G3 p4 D" w> > posted on the company notice board under the 9 }" J, ], E3 `' O/ C3 L' l> > "Chronic Offenders" category. |. o2 }: a/ u, T> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be , I u' y* ~7 H9 D1 h; Y; [+ p> > sanctioned under the company's mental health Z! b( [/ l+ T' p& ~; q
> > policy.& O6 R; T( o, Y& x( Y% G
> > * K) p/ F4 u, u' O& c- A( c> > Lunch Break! V( B$ a5 [; P1 g% K+ E. B* m
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they. `" i5 I n8 c* J' q; \% {* i: T
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy. 4 {" C4 m3 K h, b) R: r> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to 0 s" c( q6 w J8 G: o; O, l0 H> > maintain their average figure.2 ^4 ?. { o9 C5 B
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time ' X; P E q3 G> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast. 3 I# b$ }% [. B$ M> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are; p# m$ k0 j0 b ^- _! b8 u
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive) g7 m& k- K9 w: H8 N
> > employment experience.9 G3 Z2 T3 j+ w$ G
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,5 y8 A9 A% m; M3 w5 }4 B* L
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, ( H& P$ f u# W3 ]8 p! a4 x( s> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be9 w+ A! W2 [2 y+ j. B
> > directed elsewhere.
