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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
: G4 a/ l7 y- e7 y% Z6 @> > Effective January 2007
. Z1 T! J# j' z$ b) b$ p/ V> ># e8 c8 ~1 t& \* C# ^+ V
> > Dress Code( n2 V7 p w, t6 l& n
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed6 U: u) J" f9 ]3 }4 w) `
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing% s6 { }+ d" U
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume+ g. E, g* X& j" O3 I& l0 A; E, h( Z
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not$ H+ _, h% Q, E0 e
> > need a pay raise.
% |! D k/ d$ _3 O! q ~5 \> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
+ t' M7 Z& m; j> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
. \& C x8 G1 x1 _0 z# w> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.$ {3 n( o' c0 O- g
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you. M' J! ^% h3 Y/ I
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay' e" O6 G4 T% R U- ^
> > raise.3 }- r3 R, e8 E* ?! z0 X9 @
> >6 w) H5 ]# g" w3 E, X+ J
> > Sick Days3 C* d! M: m& K! g& t
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as* D' r( R [6 r( b7 b+ [
> > proof of sickness.
7 r% P2 X# o4 T% y( \1 W# e> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able& }! @* t: N. m
> > to come to work.' e+ I8 `/ q& b5 ^8 z' t- F; f( V
> >
, R" m& G& g' o. v> > Holiday Days
6 Q# t J* J ^. F5 e> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
. U9 Q; J9 I' X- L1 n/ J& j" r9 a> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.2 ~ z: q1 ?9 V: L1 T: ]
> >* U2 B Y/ v) ~- |2 ~
> > Compassionate Leave
% `: @/ p ~9 F: a/ C5 K4 B> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
K" v2 G/ f8 ~' b) Q6 Y> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
7 H1 U+ ?8 g" ^& a> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-0 P/ s; j6 c- v" L5 {. p K
> > employees attend to the arrangements.1 @7 F' i( X6 r R; x; o
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is% S; Z$ z9 I! {% U
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the" ^1 R) c) f1 i/ P9 q+ U
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
- V, z9 V$ `+ E5 H1 M> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one+ S) U; [: ^+ q( l
> > hour early.: S, B) n$ ]. m. T' W, u3 R
> >! T- _: t2 @6 u. H
> > Toilet Use) z/ l) m) Z" w, g9 h
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the( N1 R5 a* l u# }8 }1 ?
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
7 n- _/ x* _' C w4 I: N) F> > in the cubicles.
# l. Y8 V) w* w5 t! s0 {> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will& S& c# g# e4 l& m
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
. f. M5 @- G; l" k6 O> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.& i- b* A1 B' i7 s
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be5 L! }- |$ N7 @& z" T
> > posted on the company notice board under the* h) t, R0 O" m- F
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.5 d+ F: }- T7 b# n4 x% R( ] I
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be8 v5 d/ m/ c( @- i ]
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
2 h3 s" c* K# N: [> > policy. Y. f( t1 O" l, }: D
> >
% D6 W4 n3 s X2 E9 N$ |> > Lunch Break' m. P ]% }7 v) r! m* f7 Z" [
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
2 m o2 W6 D; V! s% ?& G5 t> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
( N! r8 w2 j. z( `9 v> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to) R' u+ M8 a* {9 q& J( Y3 H
> > maintain their average figure.7 l) }/ h4 E% Z( P! C& c j
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
& _% K8 O4 `7 q> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
- ~. d- n# _, }2 e; |> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
- o; Z6 L: d" t e* I( C x> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
1 O& [( `7 v% X3 A% ?> > employment experience.
4 I# X: `* N9 I2 o% A5 x' h# l> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,* d. y! F3 f8 ~: X
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
& R5 h. j$ ]1 m4 D9 A> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be6 D }& t! m/ u
> > directed elsewhere. |
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