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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:+ t' e: f+ j3 s$ k
> > Effective January 2007
3 T5 ~! l% _5 `> >$ ~- e5 j+ k" B7 c$ B
> > Dress Code" L& s- c" k& Z" T' K
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
; F4 E( _0 R) i& o, Z) l Y> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing2 }) L2 V8 d" p& ?; C
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
$ {% q& L' p- A. w. |- X> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
1 [. Y$ n3 p$ D6 t& ^. z W# i. M> > need a pay raise.7 l N( i6 J+ Y' d) a. w5 ]
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
% Q0 e, P" c3 j% u4 T% K> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer6 ^- f( G- o1 s0 m% w# A4 W( P
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.6 |4 c! n6 j; H8 i0 `
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you$ t) R8 U* G: ~, Q" Z& C
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
8 U- s& y- B% f; p# f7 z5 j> > raise.+ a9 Z; ?7 _ o1 l7 p
> >
4 k$ F$ q4 Z( t> > Sick Days
2 U g* F7 D5 \, X f- e& d> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
[. g T1 N) _% M d) U> > proof of sickness.
' U/ V5 `) ` K0 k3 E# `3 B; m> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able* ]$ t1 N( g" ~( X8 Q
> > to come to work." _! K' k/ X+ q% O, Y9 T' }9 v& x
> >" g) V$ [, j6 f
> > Holiday Days; M0 a3 y ^# k) v' _0 u# q
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
8 `+ n8 O! H7 Q( `. w> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
" ~" f+ V2 e& }% F+ c> >9 o! R% E* Y( Q2 G
> > Compassionate Leave
* |6 j/ l" ?( O& c4 K+ m. \- h> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
; j! S* P3 G7 p> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
1 w4 w7 H8 ]( Z$ V+ ?! _> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
6 U& i3 Z" {$ L$ I" D> > employees attend to the arrangements.
! B; K4 R5 A; h# ~> > In rare cases where employee involvement is, c% S3 A6 {$ w4 Y
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the$ l8 ] L- Q4 d9 I. i& G3 y
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
8 t" t5 w- |) r* A> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
% ?, R# g5 i# c) i6 H' Q> > hour early.
: R8 {* X7 P1 B1 F( ~2 m* q5 @> >2 U9 M) T S. z( B, V" y5 p
> > Toilet Use: f6 j. ^$ c/ s3 d5 `- n. ~
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the" M# Q" X9 A6 X; |3 Y5 Q* n
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit2 R2 q1 V1 r2 B5 j2 X
> > in the cubicles.- c0 ], W% M" ]2 ]+ k6 m6 B! @
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will3 l% U. O' ?6 G% N* j6 K
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle; W$ C2 F0 C& n& }
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.2 i. F, a: E* n$ }3 g, Q! j! n4 X
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be- b2 N9 m6 Q! C$ U5 p: k: s* u1 v
> > posted on the company notice board under the: ?; s) ? H* F3 I
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
! q) E, |# z0 m& i$ X. _* F> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be4 V9 {! w, z. u1 i0 d) w
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health# K, a4 z$ j' {
> > policy.
/ p5 a; ^/ N! N6 v+ }6 P8 B- O> >5 |8 O) M/ c% q6 D
> > Lunch Break
, ?) Q$ h5 `3 B) A4 p> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they# m9 L7 }/ Z$ }! k2 `+ ?
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
% W6 \, F% q" P> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
. C" V5 g, _$ s0 ]$ e> > maintain their average figure.8 M4 a- V. m7 c+ D& f0 G5 ?
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time3 f: k' s$ r O! e
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast., {1 Z# o, E) A
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
4 c5 G8 W1 S7 S* b3 P> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive6 _( X* C* _( D+ v7 q/ C4 W" `, Z
> > employment experience.: |5 a- A3 ^8 k+ f. N5 e. n
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,+ P4 ?/ \' ]7 B5 G# Q7 O9 c, h% E3 `
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,$ w8 A" K, ]2 N0 n
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be% z9 o% H% V0 h- {# w% P
> > directed elsewhere. |
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