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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:/ A( n- q0 N+ h
> > Effective January 2007
: }8 p( s! s+ N0 H8 {! x4 O3 A& `> >3 h) R4 H6 o& d& b
> > Dress Code
0 x7 L1 _+ `. V+ R R T3 q3 `> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
$ Q8 F, z8 J# }& Y7 Q" @' K> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
; F$ E( }. |3 {' f) ?4 I3 }> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
?; e" b4 Z' N' C B. u6 S> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
" i1 s: e" h! M2 q( a6 n$ j> > need a pay raise.
( x( t2 k/ F$ S' T> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage2 l) d7 [: q2 x1 Z8 W/ t
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer* K1 d/ t' N4 l$ m1 m
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.+ ^# r0 d* @; B ^% t$ w
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
4 |& @3 _8 e* ^. j# x* K> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
. } Y% h3 K3 ~8 u Z7 T2 j2 n> > raise.
4 S# d' P$ W2 t, C% E5 J> >
8 B- O& K' [9 \% Z. I> > Sick Days
3 u7 ^. R3 K1 N/ S# _% e3 _, Y! D& G> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
+ E: Z* o: x& l1 V4 [* \* j> > proof of sickness.0 V" l3 ]4 Z; ]5 p* T
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
/ |, [6 h. v( x3 t> > to come to work.$ x7 k/ `- @4 R# L
> >" o* E& {( t- h% C1 D& I% }
> > Holiday Days
" n4 ~) g6 U+ @3 Z" Z2 i# y( b" k$ c> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a* T+ Z* R! r+ v0 g
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.# f, i0 o4 q- t+ O, ]- x$ J$ T" F
> >7 h( ~- b1 J* p2 r1 H( \' Y2 y5 e
> > Compassionate Leave0 N$ k( k3 \) n3 l
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
. {: g9 u3 T, \0 Z, K$ Y> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-, d1 v1 M9 v/ D, }. T3 ^
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
( z7 a) a" W. [7 \> > employees attend to the arrangements." n+ l, d, a) C
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is6 i7 s9 o# `2 D2 ]/ ]+ i. F% j
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
G) ]& G) X, i- [" U> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work5 ^4 G* i# F/ m
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
/ H. n. T0 Q* M# o7 D> > hour early.
, |" {0 x& d1 Y8 H9 d> >
7 B$ r" N6 i# S: l, |+ K' p" P> > Toilet Use* ^0 v$ _$ Q, z& C( |5 C
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the4 g5 r. b' k: ~+ H& I' b
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit, a( _6 J5 \% ^' |
> > in the cubicles.9 {1 O8 F5 z" d' ~
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will" ~, s: @* H3 g/ T
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
5 f9 V; @! J* [! r0 q> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
: E! u, }6 M; X; S ]* S> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
0 P8 V' W( d9 `% {$ y> > posted on the company notice board under the
8 B: N/ ], h( L \% L: p1 |( M+ m> > "Chronic Offenders" category.3 E& [: s' p" Y" D9 D
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
- ^) E# c/ C4 F> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
2 K) M* m! F, S5 z8 |> > policy.
+ x& U% P+ A2 b2 h> >
; k! [- O! U: U2 ]+ t3 h> > Lunch Break: K. _7 ?3 x L
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they% H& R' b& x" I& I0 ]& o r
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.9 r, g3 v" O* Z! q( N& m) V
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
9 r! r- e; ^' x: z& @> > maintain their average figure.
8 M% d4 n* B% q, o1 v) A$ g> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
6 n% D; Q7 L. q1 N> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
}% D. o+ f$ q2 ?& e> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are/ f) w( v7 P t( D1 h5 M' [
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
Y$ h. @2 n" N> > employment experience.
2 k! b- [& u( a5 ^8 f) M0 D> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,. S/ Y8 ?8 o4 l) y, N/ Z
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
7 r0 J, l: M t4 j7 ?> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
: F+ A! w4 X, p> > directed elsewhere. |
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