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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:" F6 z6 E3 y# @+ _/ i$ n& P
> > Effective January 20075 R- p, D4 I' ~& O% S
> >
e% L0 }. G8 ]9 a& z; [) q> > Dress Code
: X0 I. M; r7 t0 Q) i& _0 X. u9 \! C> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
& |1 j! C. s1 k! Z5 ]9 I4 Y$ [6 h> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
& h; V- }. [' S# I( ~- t2 Q( X3 E> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
& ]0 R& x& F, u- k8 e# C> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
* W+ ]5 M8 m$ m+ j> > need a pay raise.( l) X) m, U' x% w& g
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
& e' }6 R: V3 I7 `> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer u5 W9 q) p& G. A% Q( f4 h( j
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
) z& I; j1 [ w> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you1 M+ {6 x# k) s
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay" T! z% j; B6 j/ i' T
> > raise.
8 P2 L$ a& N1 G2 ?4 ~' j& C+ u* [, `> > I' w! y/ Z0 L, E7 {+ {; g9 M( [
> > Sick Days, _8 I6 h' g* T5 i" L+ M
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as' ]2 Z# n3 n# b1 H& v8 n# D! o3 a
> > proof of sickness.
& h0 P( @; L: d2 V: K7 C> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
- O: [0 Y4 k/ i2 s2 I> > to come to work.
* o4 }$ @. }) D' V. {, U! v9 K> >8 p: W) O( Z) c- `
> > Holiday Days
/ }, r$ M: G" V9 K> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a, v( P- |0 O6 p2 S6 D$ i
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.4 `- m6 ?: l" C- D
> >
8 `' ]$ \, r5 C+ w8 @0 D> > Compassionate Leave' e. |$ T& c* Z1 i1 J" e
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing* ?! R+ \$ ]9 A5 t# b& B; C
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-8 u- ?* j) o1 u: f- v: l8 J
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
# w4 s! Y0 V- |0 ]5 `1 x! ^ R8 A> > employees attend to the arrangements.% \0 Q3 w2 B) K' W) ?
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
+ R1 l2 O g/ p1 w# N- k7 u> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the5 ^6 A; B: L3 d! m
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work3 I4 D' L8 p( U& q3 s5 A, v
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
, w( U- P. t. G3 N# B> > hour early.# \' x( ^, A t. r2 U
> >- [' F" `, s6 N$ ?
> > Toilet Use! n) c& [4 T8 R! v
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
$ H- D. `# f- V4 G> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit' }% s9 Z2 k1 _
> > in the cubicles.
3 e* y1 _2 d0 _2 j1 N> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will! n, ~8 |* I$ y2 A% e
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle1 i$ Y0 s) Y2 n- T5 x6 G+ L; Q
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.5 v7 n, d. u j+ k$ a' u
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be/ D0 G! M' A& ]2 U6 c: b! N/ T
> > posted on the company notice board under the3 J2 o3 u* W3 \) I. R' B
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
* a. {+ X1 ^1 ~: r6 f5 u2 b> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be1 S5 l" i1 K9 M# c. o- k6 n
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
- j& a4 I$ f- u) { @2 N/ K> > policy./ a4 h [! u1 Q! A/ {( t" }
> >5 b+ e! Y( U* a. x& F9 F
> > Lunch Break6 E7 _* f% C- o& S) z; T9 r# W
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they3 p7 t8 |+ S \! Q3 J+ y
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
' [# x$ S- i' Y$ L$ y- {' \> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
3 v/ P; S$ A: j+ c% t/ b> > maintain their average figure.
) A% @% F+ X/ j2 P+ }> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
& _: p! H) y& }- }$ T> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
9 y4 L- y: Z! f h$ o> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are# @5 t+ C# p1 \* U
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
& t# ]* o! U2 f> > employment experience.: B `) Q- d! Z% k8 \
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,' ~6 J1 ^, {; c5 I8 X; k! ^
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
9 G- ?: [" f& ^7 }4 n> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be8 e; A3 D2 Q6 r9 N9 l, P, ^
> > directed elsewhere. |
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