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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:1 Z0 h u" Q2 K) f8 {
> > Effective January 2007/ G; \. w- r7 x" ^ o8 o/ {
> >% }3 C& d8 P3 o# C0 g/ |
> > Dress Code: P* b [% B# a6 s. }: ?0 A" V- e
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed8 L6 X2 B# ~$ F3 ]
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing$ G' Q1 _9 W9 I0 G5 U! K6 i
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
+ W3 R g5 \0 P. f/ q3 l> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
7 D: @; G! U' B: J0 c# s; Z% ?> > need a pay raise.8 E. W' X6 [4 }2 X' p
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
: R' }0 ~4 z. ?7 W> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer& S; ^' {- l( a K+ m
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.- [" \: _$ D- {2 N. u
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
; p* S, S" \; b7 A: U7 c2 C> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
5 B, b' |) H) o3 q$ w> > raise.9 s- x2 @$ ]2 r! O
> >( e- m" _) z1 y# f' [0 ?
> > Sick Days7 f: O) h Y& |3 p
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
0 {- p H+ [! N0 V$ @, b0 H4 X> > proof of sickness.
0 p( }! P5 U& }: y0 q# V2 S> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
7 Z. R: l7 J9 o w' o> > to come to work.' }6 H- d5 D' \* p) b
> >- `: Q: a; ~9 V0 R# z" {! b. F- u1 \
> > Holiday Days5 I4 x( L) @* T, v4 v
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a5 s- M4 D1 Z* O, p+ t d
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.! u+ J# g3 W- Q! y e3 u3 D/ H
> >
9 a( ~2 ^1 a3 ?5 O# l( s& l+ J> > Compassionate Leave
$ ]/ P" X% H9 e4 E$ f+ l- a6 T> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
" ^0 y! T @( {- V, `) H> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
. l* n. S9 w4 J, |> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
- f' k3 B8 s! ]% m# T6 }, X> > employees attend to the arrangements. d# P0 u9 _4 i; r) H! `
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is0 I0 E2 \# B1 o |) ]
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the7 e+ @8 a( _* P7 J
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work9 a& d* f4 Y* a) m
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one0 t7 Y! l0 O$ _* e8 Q6 a9 _
> > hour early.
- i& W! U1 [8 O. o> >
/ i% u0 v! Q& f# n/ v2 `) L> > Toilet Use! D1 |! e; a% a! T
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
& |' j8 a' E5 u: w1 g8 Y6 @, K' `> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit3 ?' u- z+ C; J/ N+ y" I7 e+ f- E
> > in the cubicles.! C1 {9 ]) n; n4 {6 j r! K
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
: J2 }5 _. z* {9 E6 p> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
- n2 E. Z7 x& o( ~6 X> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.1 j- A4 E5 Z; U
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
0 M( k( \, q! H# e u> > posted on the company notice board under the6 R6 g( `' O- G4 t; v8 |; O
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
0 f+ U# y4 @5 N1 h> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
; c3 |8 F- R4 G- I) B9 x8 s> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
. m& W- M p- G; p. L> > policy.1 S$ o8 B z `
> >
# S! v i1 ]- x- y5 w6 ^0 S> > Lunch Break
+ z ?" N- G2 ]" ^> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
6 Y& l5 W! K- \; \> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
& \7 |. q' \. t' x1 _, ~> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to3 ]( {9 Y- A+ H5 X6 r T
> > maintain their average figure.
% L8 F7 M9 I6 H! l f2 g/ ~4 }> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time1 u% j; I0 N6 N+ {2 O* f
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.4 T* K$ ~5 c! l) b' q
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
4 a# B$ X6 F0 R1 j$ C; ]> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
4 s- F1 K; i" N! {; ^> > employment experience.' ?: M6 @) e Y
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
- Z' S* s8 e. A* i3 \0 e> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,! G$ a0 |3 i3 r1 ~6 V
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be1 V" k: D, j3 Y- r3 I t' ?& c
> > directed elsewhere. |
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