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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
( T* b* W( _+ n> > Effective January 2007
* Y" o& W# d) h, `> >
3 e7 u6 s& v$ A ~> > Dress Code& W/ N: M4 B( f$ u( |! D4 l
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
/ R D# P/ E3 F0 d$ q. F1 r& Z1 c> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing2 W$ [ K8 r" w$ Q- D+ e B" S2 U4 g
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
$ x' u: a$ C% X> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not0 V( W; n, u7 S$ Q }
> > need a pay raise.* B2 J* j8 k, P& T. F& F/ ]
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
" d% Q/ K* Y4 ]. b% T* U, u> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
. N+ l" P1 z8 {7 H> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
; u5 ]4 n% B1 {' p% V2 [> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
$ N% a% S# y3 s4 f5 u; P> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay( d2 R+ X' l: L0 j" E
> > raise.
' J+ q; _. z0 z& R( q8 Z8 n8 u( e> >2 l t- ] n- S$ Q9 z' D& M
> > Sick Days
' I ]+ i n4 E: f: Z6 W> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as+ ?2 L' }" v. z7 M* D" k
> > proof of sickness.2 c; A4 [5 q* \6 \& w
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able' F# e: j. ?& X7 { G4 W' ^$ l
> > to come to work.* E. B# K8 I' X! t
> >
* Q6 m# e( K& e; [/ [$ V: x8 o d> > Holiday Days* R% K) o, p5 y4 O$ x8 T
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
: e* |( R3 q; r! ~. m* t Z+ A> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.* z( F9 Q+ {* w H
> >
% D3 F) J. j- E, }4 P3 ?2 U4 n> > Compassionate Leave( k( M8 {* Q- [1 ]/ q e
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing' I+ I$ P, C3 ~# A7 Q8 H" r" b
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
0 |! h: G- q# Q% s6 W# S> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
9 B" g/ y; ~7 _) q* A* C0 ]> > employees attend to the arrangements.
3 s h& U# R! q% U8 L1 B3 j> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
# c, U( `$ ~( Y1 f# j; B: }> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the! R% x! y9 {( P( ]. |# i/ R
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
8 l4 H1 u9 t# `( O- S! b [ x4 O> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
4 |* F; e1 N# H& ]; k> > hour early.% g) C ]7 R- B$ G0 h: W
> >. u# a* u$ J7 T- w
> > Toilet Use
- K- Z1 K+ c( K# n) ?> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
3 v; Y" K8 ~ }% Z, W" z* c( e> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit2 E* G9 X2 g5 Q3 p2 ~! n
> > in the cubicles.
8 _. Z. ?4 y7 i6 ?. J> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
8 w/ O5 s7 a! e1 T4 C, w/ R> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle& S9 d1 a# p6 Y
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
% j% D; l' \, a$ v> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
5 `1 B0 u' D* V2 B, Q> > posted on the company notice board under the& H2 H# V0 L# b0 Z7 M6 J5 E
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
% G+ Q1 g' O/ J" N, t' C% B. ^3 [/ s> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be* M0 D, H- n! T1 \- S
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health2 g, c4 v3 ~8 B2 r
> > policy.
' i1 M0 Q8 m* ~0 O3 ?! b K> >
! U4 R* F; h6 h: d3 n> > Lunch Break, e! m- Q! g) v1 F: Y, J, ^
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
: A1 m+ t, r3 X+ U> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
: O+ G f Q# b+ o3 W/ i" b& o> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to; N5 Y, B0 Y& {% l M
> > maintain their average figure.
, K4 Y5 T' @' ^- m7 y, L> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time4 {. k8 g/ P6 I& S& U
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
( j, e4 _! v; H" _; i9 s> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are; u# F I4 a' x. Y) r- A
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
& e- i4 e" I. B3 p+ {" n1 j4 d> > employment experience.
6 r: ^: _: U" v# S; Q> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,# M, l) v7 h! B5 D1 k5 w, H
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,* D, U6 h* S+ ?& n) K
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
4 s9 [3 V I6 S$ s* ?) }0 }; @> > directed elsewhere. |
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