|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:# B4 t/ m- d, s" B
> > Effective January 2007* @ }. Q& x/ t- t
> >
1 @. {. h5 C1 A+ g1 t9 K: e> > Dress Code3 x( Q1 Y0 @# N0 B# X" G
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
0 r6 ?, ]$ ], [' H3 }' B3 L> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing& ~ \# c% Q7 {/ Y& T- b; I" M- a& ~
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
4 B2 f3 W3 _$ H! G# M> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
. p- W4 F5 E. G( p" ^) p> > need a pay raise.
7 _8 X, n3 M8 D p( A' t( o> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
& }/ l$ x8 k3 t6 @> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
2 q; l8 h2 T( S" y> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.1 s% N$ S( R9 @4 g
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you7 V3 a' o/ t8 ~" l
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
" s, h, x- \" G: Y> > raise.
1 C/ j& U( ~" x8 U) o5 M! ^! X$ B> >7 E7 C9 l9 S3 N* B
> > Sick Days
0 M: p; u4 @5 \7 W* t/ n5 L> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
4 R! H( S7 |: D; C> > proof of sickness.2 P" q" D6 R5 G3 D
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able$ r& d1 G" r+ H( k; R
> > to come to work.
3 s* U. o& f" O2 g* r; s# Q> >2 [4 P( @( b- `
> > Holiday Days
8 `% p: C/ U: _" `4 E, H, c> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a% x- P( b4 y# U* D0 y# n W- |
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
y, H y! o5 r7 y1 i> >
4 M) V* q* s* z: p, g0 i1 s1 F& \> > Compassionate Leave
- v% D+ }7 j2 l: W> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing; c3 g- q& p$ n& y0 |% w
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
! A3 g/ y' f# D$ j$ s4 F- H9 s" D> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-9 f! _% c1 Y4 x
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
+ r* I5 m" R% j/ R# H> > In rare cases where employee involvement is& }$ F( q' I4 \% H
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
4 m+ [. {' N1 f9 s9 ~6 L/ R> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work9 v2 h! R# T; x" A4 v! O
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one+ H' ?# N, z7 P% z7 x& B
> > hour early.' R7 Q8 p, X" m! h: v5 t- F
> >
$ n; W6 v0 u, d4 U5 R> > Toilet Use
' c6 C' z+ n# g+ A% W! q> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the% p, M9 a% W0 ]* f# f# L
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
3 z+ ]. t4 f1 o$ L> > in the cubicles.) W2 F7 ]5 M( E1 Q5 [8 }
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
$ M. r) ~7 |" \- F; K. E7 U> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
! f( K* e2 J$ {: [6 C' E1 r> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
7 W. v7 g/ u* h' {( W. E& ?> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
0 }" x5 Y5 g* V4 H; _> > posted on the company notice board under the
, Z! a! v5 b9 k+ N0 b> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
/ `& x' Q4 Q, N> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be, m, L8 f! ^% r: V, x" _; w: M
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health5 {* ~) u7 ^, Y' c4 |$ m) }
> > policy.: q( e$ n- O' Z' Q
> >3 ~/ d6 p* K( U& A! P! z$ F
> > Lunch Break I: ~/ ^+ N8 R
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
% Z( K/ i0 o+ N! v( [" ?> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
7 d) s4 v* ]7 ]1 [" ~% ?> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to! O2 w( Y. [7 U- i2 ]5 [
> > maintain their average figure.- y3 Z# d# J0 T' ]' z2 w1 [# M
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
$ k5 G; E R* L6 Y> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
; e% D% v/ ?: |; f/ g+ C/ u/ I: j% z> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
) a {2 U/ I9 Y! X/ @> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive: w! e/ Y* K% t! z
> > employment experience.+ _$ I1 ? N7 K' B$ f, `/ O
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,% s( T0 R1 n" E- F* A; J- ^
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
& D1 A( ~: [' W> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be+ {% a. ], p8 s, d* T1 N" A4 j+ i4 M
> > directed elsewhere. |
|
