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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:& @% a% Y( H9 ]7 V+ r& C0 g0 P2 N
> > Effective January 20074 t. E2 u2 A0 o7 w
> >
$ Q' c* W/ G& C> > Dress Code
. s: k% q/ ?4 t6 H' R. m$ [* T" R> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
4 g" `4 ~ x8 z9 G; A' f> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing4 Z5 H; e: R5 h" g. ]
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
; K. A" }" X: `/ B! \8 r> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
* x, V2 [) e2 _) }> > need a pay raise.! H1 }2 m* l% ?1 |5 u! Z; n/ r9 g
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage2 W" o0 M& n/ m- ?
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
& M ?/ b8 n% T* S- m> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.- E% Z; M; n' t) n$ r& w ^' q
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you' x) @6 T* W4 j5 P; n: n& g! a+ ?3 l
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
; h, Q1 q* i& m" H* y2 }4 S> > raise.
# L0 |/ F- Q6 Q {0 x2 u> >0 ~" S6 |2 e/ l" Q2 s$ M
> > Sick Days+ O8 d9 d1 g" Q, M
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as5 o ~) }! T5 |/ z3 K$ {7 m; q
> > proof of sickness.
9 P/ P# C# y0 R% U% o" S7 F> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
4 J" b8 W/ e' f! I7 n1 w% i> > to come to work.
" b- @, ~" M: r$ L' Q0 I> >
9 H6 H& a* u/ ^: G' {: `> > Holiday Days
' i2 T' Q" i7 @4 z> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a" _( ^- B9 G, ^! K5 o; u5 z9 R: [
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
6 F5 S5 F/ v- J. X> >, q' |6 O- @$ o. g
> > Compassionate Leave
0 Z9 y! q( w, [( P& i; `" X5 |> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing' L5 m3 j- i8 N* Q G1 d
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
- z* Y8 u! d( K$ {> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
2 Q# H, M' b" w$ p8 ~> > employees attend to the arrangements.: `. c! u0 ]9 p4 Y0 S5 E1 q* z
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
& f9 E d' f5 y1 V Z> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
' g6 Y! C3 H$ W8 u> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work0 w: s% @0 J d) T) E2 s
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one( F6 w" u4 O3 T$ i* T
> > hour early.( G- u- g" [ [8 }5 \* Q$ |
> >) x& B1 I# O2 I1 ~) w. i
> > Toilet Use
3 \' U2 W4 j" B1 K1 }> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
' O4 S% s+ E) |0 {% v* W> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
9 j/ W4 p$ Z# ~% s> > in the cubicles.- M7 k. C8 ~- L) L9 d& t$ ?; P' Z7 z
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
/ {4 \2 L8 z' ?> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle; s( d" m. G$ Z; D1 [
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
+ f5 B- B- S% M1 i& v> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
, u* ?$ N a' {4 L, a3 }> > posted on the company notice board under the+ S% r8 Z' ^6 B) ^
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.+ y9 F }& u, \- f& I( @0 k8 t
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be. e7 r5 f. h$ Q0 H
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health# j1 t2 i( K+ N. X/ A+ s
> > policy.. ^$ L3 {* ^9 B# G" M1 m
> >
: F# j% n% \, I! K. q7 R5 P9 S( e, F> > Lunch Break
- A* o, b* j* [! Z; g& o! B> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they8 Q' }# I) B" D8 g) r. z9 }
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
, K' A/ M) e- \$ G% Y4 @> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to9 a7 T s2 D; M" w8 u4 Z
> > maintain their average figure.- D% y3 C6 s6 s4 _. @" S$ o, f
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time- r9 L# \( f) N* F7 c- p/ r
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.3 k5 w: N X( I& E/ |
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
& O5 }- A: K; B A! I" }/ b> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive% U _) s1 p( h: F4 t% ]
> > employment experience.+ F; C7 B! g2 f, e& {
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, l9 }) ` a/ O
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
) _- u/ L0 V, |( C' p; r/ Q> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be3 n% }4 o# [0 s P2 D+ `
> > directed elsewhere. |
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