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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:6 W3 g Y! ^( d
> > Effective January 20077 q% P4 c6 Q: P4 Z0 R
> >* j, _2 T; ?3 z- P+ K9 }, l
> > Dress Code
+ D- D' N. Z* ?> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
- c9 f/ S, Z8 o4 y3 R> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
9 x- g) q2 [0 J5 Y& n> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
4 ^6 G# } c4 e$ t> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not& V) m, i3 d4 }& T4 m
> > need a pay raise.! R3 O# t8 b& |, `: c: R. u
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage& O( `. K( N* m( R: N* A- C
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer8 P- T, E' S8 a7 C- O% O
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
* q* Q1 n. C* a& U1 z+ a$ P> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you+ g- |4 B- D$ i G
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
, S: O* E' I% L4 q8 |> > raise.* }" X* j+ k- J' n' d
> >9 _0 Z6 M8 w2 b' l, |8 m" N
> > Sick Days0 r+ k! R& `. c4 y$ H& S
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as6 p0 e$ A3 \2 q u
> > proof of sickness.
) ~! z; S8 Z# F: q$ I: ~8 `> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
( X+ f" u- b6 U' ], h) } Y8 v> > to come to work.
% O( |7 d. C8 e8 h> >1 ~2 z/ r4 l7 n$ R
> > Holiday Days
- `$ C; ?/ [$ |0 K% A> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a* m* L1 t8 X& T
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
2 ^+ m4 b$ G& f# i; M> >5 |/ @" {, j; a% t: |8 D
> > Compassionate Leave; |0 A' I$ x4 H' y
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
/ H- A' ]0 c" ] _> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
# Y% c7 E, y+ x5 Z, Q5 T; D2 M> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
/ c3 y0 n- T+ q, o, n> > employees attend to the arrangements.
; c3 T G- d7 M: O+ Y" j" R9 n* G> > In rare cases where employee involvement is, @9 B/ U$ E: P, v3 V1 u0 {
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the8 h; y! B, C: m5 I' p& r
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work# a. v: ^) s# p6 A2 H
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
) d/ H9 N2 i# n @' e> > hour early.
1 t4 T/ H6 }, z, q9 A# b8 ~> >
4 h% v/ g9 o. X) G> > Toilet Use
) }+ E: L! Y8 F# |- i> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the) E7 J0 h6 N4 i
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit, R/ p: `* I, H0 X- E3 n6 K0 {5 r
> > in the cubicles.
' P9 i" q& s8 G; _6 t> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will8 M0 F5 H- m! P
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle% C% k7 k$ p4 h4 |+ ?$ U( n
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
2 G5 ]% W. t0 ]) ~$ h @5 e% A> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
* V8 p: H4 G1 b; \& S5 l3 r9 B+ d> > posted on the company notice board under the
% |! b, B! A' Q E m! ~# X' ~2 l; v> > "Chronic Offenders" category.* g' n" `% t: ]5 f0 e
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be4 |6 Y/ R. m3 S( \, X. a3 v
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
1 w; R* d/ [/ W& P) @$ M h: ^* E( H> > policy.( J: I% H. Z: \* f
> >
& g# E! P1 i+ Y. E* e> > Lunch Break: u% k% q0 n% }/ F5 o
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
8 q7 v6 A7 [; n0 X' R5 a5 P' u> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.! ]2 J2 ~1 s! O% `3 U- F
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
$ K1 y6 A9 v# } ]4 i" E( x: b+ D> > maintain their average figure.
3 l7 u, x) \7 T! K$ G9 I> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time4 [. d% v' F, I% V3 C5 Z$ I
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
4 A: p' ]6 J$ K3 C) l+ g0 Z4 ~2 A& t> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are C" Z$ L( \- H- p' D
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
% s. i4 J) Q" \2 G& l7 c3 n> > employment experience. a* Q- Q1 l3 K0 ]. K9 u1 F
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
* ?: x; J* g# J> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
- l `: c4 q. M1 H1 ^> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be4 K( ~" }# o$ Y( s7 y' O" j; p/ i. a
> > directed elsewhere. |
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