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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
0 V% L8 h3 h) `; u> > Effective January 2007+ S m; h# Q7 A1 \1 n0 g0 D0 j2 A
> >! L3 L7 w$ o+ ^6 ]
> > Dress Code- _# v i7 k# m: _- m* D
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
$ ~9 e; i6 L S) R& B> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing! B0 t9 p, R4 w5 b5 y. e6 F9 b
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
6 ^& f6 ~: f# V> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
$ Q5 q5 g3 | [' w! ^: X8 s8 o> > need a pay raise.1 u+ _6 M7 Z1 |: [ ]
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage6 ]1 K. |( [8 N# G, c
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer8 ]7 D, c- s6 |* N7 z# d
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
. j- H# |# d% m J% s4 ]) D> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
4 h, _) h `* O7 N> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
$ K* S2 \9 Q, z> > raise.
3 _# b, ~: k0 h/ k: W# a> >/ {" `) P0 o' C6 E7 h% q' u
> > Sick Days
0 G$ o1 _: p5 A4 p. f> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
. q6 i2 _/ Y! I& f+ c> > proof of sickness.
2 M5 T2 z$ Y7 }) b1 k8 l4 V> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
# s2 h6 |2 r; K$ _3 e% d> > to come to work.
7 u& x; F' W& R0 g8 R5 `; ^> >+ C; g- n" C) D) @: I
> > Holiday Days
$ W* u! M# G4 ^. b5 u> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
* H$ p3 e3 G$ T' m> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.5 _& X) C2 L* Z$ S
> >
8 s$ w* z/ F2 M9 X) M> > Compassionate Leave* r& J: y6 W" K2 {5 k8 `
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing- ]% {' j7 @# K5 a3 u
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-- ~% X5 g) v9 l+ {7 i- ^4 V$ \
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
+ K# |, [, ~! t) y3 D* i: C6 K> > employees attend to the arrangements.* ]5 n9 S, b1 B
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is( q5 x. r" S( a+ ~
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the% ?$ p. K8 f/ Q! w
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
$ S' p' {; A/ F: V: R2 o> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one/ }4 v/ t7 D# H+ r( Q, \1 Y+ ^6 H
> > hour early.
; g9 a7 ?# h. s> >
3 S1 `6 H4 t$ |) e# j/ G' O> > Toilet Use4 G; x& u; Y2 l, [2 E, L" s
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the% |/ \- J, u$ o2 s# N
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit& v+ |; ]( u+ K9 T5 t) r+ L
> > in the cubicles.
" o! b1 e0 B. U> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
1 Y& ^- S* b5 B# A( k> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
0 l. [- P3 |# `> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
2 ^5 g s) K; }. x% c) M# A> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be0 n$ S! ^) V$ m( I. z* M
> > posted on the company notice board under the! f* n2 H( s; E a: N1 U+ V* W: D
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
& x0 w8 b& S. P& n& p0 g5 F> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
8 G1 J, K* N$ d! ?$ y> > sanctioned under the company's mental health# u( R( A1 H. L7 d* L
> > policy.
, [; e/ a' [) u. {8 v> >
2 ~% M$ \+ h/ X8 V( F! J7 O> > Lunch Break x1 a, y" L* i7 V, n
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
, s5 H# R1 B7 I& Q% p/ ]4 V> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
( r! _1 B1 I1 w7 j; w( m6 o* t> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
; b' I D: |/ @* D7 V( F. S> > maintain their average figure.# ~+ S/ ]! Y4 W# g) M
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
* y7 O2 i* V E( `. V> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
) L3 j; V) r6 c( l2 Z/ h> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are# Y( D7 b7 K2 [1 I! t9 P% r
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive% W) i4 h/ }/ ~1 P0 [ F
> > employment experience.
8 m* u0 C) P7 I" t; `$ n8 w5 g$ p) H> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,( O5 U; Y" k! V2 X! `
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,5 u! V1 x+ p X2 B+ u+ C! m( I% d4 \( q
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
* G5 }" B- o8 c) J> > directed elsewhere. |
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