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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
. V: ]% |; Q& d8 f4 O> > Effective January 2007! V5 i: a0 C D
> >4 t4 `# L3 [1 J3 G8 s: r
> > Dress Code
) S/ c7 s) L. \) W; m8 a> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
8 M5 V! S+ k; ?7 ] G( |> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing! G' D9 s& y* _/ Q; F- m. x* r2 h% d
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume `3 S4 O0 U; u* h
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not# l/ C) J- Y- s. s; {
> > need a pay raise.3 z6 ~ D: W- s8 s) V4 g
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
# N7 {# I$ ~1 s> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer4 A. q1 J* [/ Z( c9 C# w
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.1 ~5 t6 s4 ?4 g3 L
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you ?! Y5 B: {3 f$ |: D
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay# E# j$ [5 [+ ?2 N5 [
> > raise.
1 R( R( }3 s t/ m: g0 A> >
0 _+ B" |" q \3 e; Y> > Sick Days8 S) W1 G9 R( r, K
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as' \0 |/ t+ r- Z
> > proof of sickness.
- [1 r( c: X' T/ o; C! h> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
7 M3 Z6 b5 O, H8 q/ G> > to come to work.
2 C" [- G% L6 X. ]0 p> >
: S4 B# B" L D8 f9 H" g/ N) w> > Holiday Days; |! I' {3 ~$ C, ?6 j# `5 G) B+ d
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
3 g# j) j; Q5 q) q& V> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
" f L7 Q3 G6 Y+ J( k> >
; c. D2 h: F) i3 _- T0 l2 K1 V> > Compassionate Leave: T2 _8 r \2 O2 H, ]4 q& b
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
, H$ P2 M6 A( R> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-, B( M5 V: x' K9 q+ H! y/ R
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-$ c- h0 y- k9 p" c4 o
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
6 O( R8 _' K& z> > In rare cases where employee involvement is$ {9 S2 U7 v' N+ y4 C
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the3 X( Q1 a8 F/ _
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
9 O( G7 n9 q! ~> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
4 h9 X% s( G, C" z> > hour early.
) D f& Y4 V# D2 ] C> >6 y1 v! m: r& J, Y
> > Toilet Use
2 W% F# @ b$ p: i# B7 m* t' U> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the8 p: G T( {; ]+ I3 @
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
6 V+ |- b' Z: i+ ~. |> > in the cubicles.
/ h# A2 B6 c, d3 t. J* t> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will M' Z" [6 B" i1 j
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
9 C% q9 A3 ?. e& B0 j4 v> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
8 r7 |0 ?5 Y, ]3 \. d> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
7 B2 _0 K/ M# G> > posted on the company notice board under the
, N+ `# O6 V- j* w; H. ~. h# z3 m> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
& `3 ~& F# ~4 i4 Q, I+ R3 g> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
& a, i: ~& m2 B+ Z> > sanctioned under the company's mental health$ L) W ~* v$ O7 k) |
> > policy.
3 O3 B0 ^% h o0 u> >+ B+ `* Y, r2 \4 @ W( r& {
> > Lunch Break9 W ^ G! U! t* C3 ?7 ~5 m! P
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they; p2 c. l" H; v7 b; U
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
0 \% ~8 X, Z0 N$ }/ ]2 L4 d> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
( y3 l* Z1 _9 S> > maintain their average figure.% Y4 z0 c8 G6 r# U
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
$ a& q6 ?8 N K+ b- d> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.5 f5 w8 F& z, \" d( I
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
6 {/ _8 f3 C* B9 v> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive# b& r! O. T# t
> > employment experience.0 Q" K! _1 d" b( M: ]( j5 o
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,+ _7 a/ ?( z/ a
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,: U2 g' j: F- r( P2 }1 B
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be. V: R" p) s7 ^" X
> > directed elsewhere. |
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