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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:& n' R: [4 @' D' h! `5 `; `; C
> > Effective January 2007
$ V% ~) }/ u5 \> >1 W; T' _3 h9 u" K. P( Q6 ~0 |
> > Dress Code& ^# l8 d$ L' I/ }
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
6 @8 j8 o) h3 D% R9 ]) L( L7 s> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing4 E0 k8 U2 ]5 f2 Y$ ], L$ u" V
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
$ P& }1 ^ W" ?& m) F) S> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not# D! L: g9 ~( J) \9 X, L
> > need a pay raise.
+ }; c( `% S0 M> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
6 J0 Q" A5 o: p* {4 g> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer! G# [: E$ N: R4 E# r$ ]' ~( b
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.) t, ^: `/ }# Z2 Y% Z# s! B
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you8 ]( k4 h, L& P f: p# B- X4 m* ^
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay2 n: i: z* ^3 d3 E; Z& }
> > raise.6 N1 i. e8 l6 Z- ]' ~0 r8 G
> > }. t5 O0 C# ?- `/ J. e
> > Sick Days/ o( w2 L+ G q6 t- S; z
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as8 A) |* \0 \& R+ D5 h" R! J
> > proof of sickness.9 W5 G* _/ w! K- K7 r' |
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able5 u& i! @3 p9 {" ^
> > to come to work." |- a |# D& O+ B2 M5 R7 S
> >3 N* d# y; o/ L' G+ c# ?
> > Holiday Days
, F: B4 P, T, \. Y( d7 O6 |> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
# ]+ t$ W& n# y& {. C7 Q> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.& v$ j3 Z" d5 \& k
> >
+ u9 ]7 _; |3 ?8 m% _4 |+ K. R> > Compassionate Leave( S9 w' E2 T( a- f, f. y
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
1 x" t m9 ], D- A- M> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
+ D6 D b, w" B6 c, s h> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
7 v' a; A' M ]9 V9 e> > employees attend to the arrangements.
4 F6 z' {: x( r7 O+ P7 y$ k> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
9 m d" b4 K/ O a/ h1 R c S8 S> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
% x1 b: i2 l2 v7 c1 X> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work" y. K# d" a; W4 K: \, ], r
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one6 ]6 Z ~: O% Y* r6 ]: ^6 S
> > hour early.
; `6 m" t* N' y$ }2 p; H( t$ k# X' H> >; k6 @1 D8 |; l/ u& D
> > Toilet Use
+ j) y# z; v" H2 l0 a( u> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the7 l# K# n1 c& f$ u( M
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit4 A* x7 Q& V) _8 C( q' D% N* v5 d8 g
> > in the cubicles.
1 P/ T6 T7 o! t I5 T/ L> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
; v# M# `/ m2 Q ~) O; ?& [> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle+ e2 f3 A7 ]& f3 O; E2 t
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.4 d9 @! g+ H' S j
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
( N2 m( J1 u( A. i> > posted on the company notice board under the
9 \0 r3 V. p0 S+ C; K> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
\+ w8 s% W. L( d. R> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
! j/ a5 V+ k" o- _9 p> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
! l- }& G* _! @1 s' ~' \* l/ T& p. f> > policy.
/ [) V7 L! g5 Q3 a, n0 T> >
\6 i9 J- X4 ]3 B# P> > Lunch Break
9 |4 O$ o8 }% H3 d5 \& i> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
# `2 k9 F; W' U1 Y q p' \2 ?& s> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
) }7 I# i, H3 G4 A+ i) C> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
4 ?9 s( D. q+ k& |> > maintain their average figure.
% J; ^$ ]8 t% N1 L> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time; o% x0 j. l- q) l7 M( h- _
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.% Z% \) R( @9 a/ a
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
6 V* ^. m. f9 h1 W5 A* D! \" |> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
5 a/ S1 r9 J" [) w$ ]( h> > employment experience.
% |/ o9 \* @" A+ r- \> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
: G5 j% N% T3 g9 ^: ]. F$ Q5 Z> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
/ }: s8 }: v& G8 r9 R+ r' j1 Y0 @> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
C3 o8 c$ X+ ?3 }; P2 u> > directed elsewhere. |
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