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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:9 l1 b/ y) z" q2 n* @
> > Effective January 20071 e/ M) A- f0 p' p X7 M9 m& S
> >' u0 z# E0 d7 ]
> > Dress Code9 H* O5 C' f: o
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
# b, m9 z5 t9 z9 A G* V& E) _> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing. J% ?6 h! M( | @- W
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume; w* T8 O; o& S. k" }4 R2 B
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
* \; Q: i9 u f% t> > need a pay raise.. w: s x1 X1 `' d- S
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
) \" ?/ g# o* u- V> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
" D) x( t1 Q ]- d# W3 o0 V0 X> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
: S$ e1 p" z9 ?/ Q6 Y% h6 V! y( j> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you" _- b# w. Z: b3 h& w$ ?
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay* L% K, X. a9 ~# l2 O! i; F. q
> > raise.; m6 E5 X+ U; }
> >
- q% }6 m, _! R* L8 t> > Sick Days) R% W& R: N% {8 z* @
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as4 ~% ?3 d$ k- E
> > proof of sickness.* ]) Y" A' R+ {: O* H# K. ^
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able3 y5 I2 d. q3 c- p% D5 N! n
> > to come to work.
# ]( y. S% C* |0 I( b# y> >
4 m4 ], W, @4 `* H- \4 m> > Holiday Days
8 e) e7 i1 \6 }# }; j9 V> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a4 Z# t, ^3 U: z! i. C: @
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
3 o- o- a7 \, n l' o6 K" `2 m> >
6 G3 b9 | k) H5 P3 I> > Compassionate Leave' p3 C/ P" ]1 \: z% |6 V
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
' k, v. g9 k; v: C! H> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-; y5 }% Y" J/ x9 m/ I
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-; p/ F6 [4 D+ p8 w- Q
> > employees attend to the arrangements.4 x( ^. O& b, ~0 p. b" f7 r' C* n
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
9 }# o2 N0 E; T& O3 ^$ M> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
4 f" [0 {! u( g+ G2 ]> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
3 Z, E! o% E+ Z- B! J' X- x5 @" [, S> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one4 s% @9 `: _! r0 n1 A w T7 f1 x
> > hour early., ?! m+ J6 W: E' w! ]8 }2 I
> >
. M B5 e% A6 G; p" e> > Toilet Use
$ ]. y8 K% U' v$ n2 A% p5 V> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the' @- ]& L% @, i. ?! {# U+ W
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
8 K* P2 ?2 L! D> > in the cubicles.
0 U2 E! k6 `% x' `) ^. ^> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
- i N7 P% q1 E1 o. b3 D* b! A' X9 F1 u> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
1 m# Z- j$ X% S* S1 `> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.% M8 K& s4 o5 K2 y
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be1 O! L6 X! K7 j4 d, G5 e: r
> > posted on the company notice board under the
9 d! b2 V- x2 D& U# V" \% h> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
) I0 `* L6 e; K( S+ w, x2 c> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
& r6 ~8 q8 e% ]- Q: }4 k \( @6 @- f> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
2 T, J" p8 @. b. s; i; U3 a> > policy.5 O, k9 z8 g& y( s
> >- F9 v; X- L: }7 j2 c! U
> > Lunch Break
- ]7 C' _ |& h> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
& d+ V: h8 S( V. y5 a* J> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.* z% y4 f9 i# l' p( r% C2 U
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to& b: |$ y) }, H, q+ A
> > maintain their average figure.
% e$ f1 n" v1 D$ p# b% w9 G> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
2 a$ f! G& {, s: c5 H$ Z) q$ B> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
* y& ^7 L* X4 z# ~> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are6 C, J9 L+ M2 j8 Q$ k
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive, b) `# y m/ x
> > employment experience.: g, |- d c* r+ Q& W
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
1 P& @& O6 D; t' |> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,( m9 D% v6 |7 I+ c! F
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be: [4 K! I* i, j
> > directed elsewhere. |
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