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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:. C9 K; j2 d, k% @0 F& Y
> > Effective January 2007! \1 x: ?* G9 \( l5 `: u- a4 c
> >& q7 L6 s y$ D3 i: N! J% N
> > Dress Code+ V3 M# x2 T/ `- I0 _
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
2 ]; o" A' P3 b+ v9 v. x; B8 V> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing, I- O/ s" j. X& u% H
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume- [9 ^4 p* k4 Z3 W
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
6 ]2 w! V' R+ X. p: @& W+ {> > need a pay raise.
1 [, I% O5 I2 }7 K( }> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage7 {0 T( w' \ ], H4 m) K& ^
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer8 }4 r; M' Z5 j T* E ^2 s
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
1 E! R( l( w+ E7 s6 I9 v> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you# r7 e) d1 z0 l
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay1 D& b1 k5 t3 X9 ?
> > raise., a4 v: M a% O7 \' `# O6 E
> >
4 \9 `2 `9 r- a9 E/ c# ?> > Sick Days
0 O! f$ a8 B6 V- d7 W+ Z% l2 M> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as2 G0 a e5 D b6 y8 x
> > proof of sickness.
! E: `- d" l% M2 i! _; n> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able& q+ ^% M9 y: O; i2 L, m6 X
> > to come to work.
9 f( I: }* \8 c# X% b8 R$ M> >: `# H5 z* V/ ]( \' m
> > Holiday Days( R0 j* I" V T4 H$ a0 \
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a4 \/ L$ G/ G/ g7 a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
1 o. a' X, S* O! O! D> >4 u( X7 z* S* z; l
> > Compassionate Leave( h: Q% q' H- j6 [' y
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing J1 } e& Y* P# I$ f
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
8 ^7 [2 D. P' W: l- T5 I> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-$ h+ x9 s2 v1 B6 x. T' D3 `
> > employees attend to the arrangements.( z: i# u& V. f& Y& S; ~# h6 O
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
" r; ]8 A {/ k> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the& Z C7 }6 h+ {+ P! z
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work7 t. w6 E F5 r5 |3 d5 p
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
* S/ t# L: A! H2 d- u> > hour early. b3 G5 R* Y! b7 o
> >! I" i5 i8 ~- I: _' K
> > Toilet Use
* M6 C7 ^6 B2 V, {! r" O> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the8 a* o1 u/ g& t% @* |
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
! A" K8 q; U& D, C3 @& |> > in the cubicles.
: x& x0 ]* O' D# o2 \1 J$ Z> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
2 H& u6 r0 Y" q4 e5 b> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle7 \/ S+ X7 O; X9 f: I' d0 x {
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
`, B; P' T# r6 R1 H> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
0 l1 a) B, ? `# @ W> > posted on the company notice board under the6 Q. [5 S+ N2 A2 l+ t2 q
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
) y- a5 C% m# I" H/ [> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
E( k3 J2 g8 ~0 W! y> > sanctioned under the company's mental health) y5 a" j9 J& l' J) y4 R; y
> > policy.1 m0 X" a: _$ g/ b; |8 @: y
> ># {3 ^% \5 D* o3 l- b
> > Lunch Break
" T$ E* m5 n: ]+ o8 W0 v/ M> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they- N( R, p4 c% R! Q/ ~% T; p) ?
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
5 \* ]9 X) o5 g; z0 b% V> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
& C# G3 H; K0 G. X> > maintain their average figure.
$ o2 U6 A" p& r8 U1 d9 J/ P9 }> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time6 R7 O* y) x. w$ h" f8 T
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.5 f3 `5 i7 V# ~+ o. t2 k& E
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
8 L, B% x [' _6 W# b- H8 m$ E t> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive) G1 ^: X" X; {" v; u$ b5 \
> > employment experience.# v3 J' |; r7 d
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
5 O6 {' S5 ?; |0 N6 V> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
* H/ N9 P. Y( O; M- K> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
. r" j6 S4 K- r4 d% z" O) @> > directed elsewhere. |
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