|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:
- O* x) H+ l3 {+ s6 I> > Effective January 2007
- @* ]0 |" R" S/ b+ N. v' S> >
" Y X; p/ L, q0 B H> > Dress Code# F, l9 a" s D, p- M
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
6 k% O6 f' }6 U: N6 I> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
3 X; d1 O; A- @2 ~- ~8 A; ~> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume4 n/ {5 r* I. _
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not" C/ J) v4 ^5 `- E- |
> > need a pay raise." t3 V8 n, m; G$ S# Y" h
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage# S7 s1 T3 G5 Q4 g, {: a$ _
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
/ x: x7 L6 Y; N5 Q> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
9 o3 P5 {4 _7 L! @> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you" K0 ~+ |% @: u4 s; Z6 ~
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay+ s$ y5 m# |7 Z4 G; w6 D7 F
> > raise. \" \5 v# V4 O: T2 ?" S. E
> >3 q& y# A" N7 |! r$ b0 {
> > Sick Days" b0 ~6 w" ]% t: M/ l/ y5 C' L
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as" n% K* b9 v, w, v4 Z
> > proof of sickness.( b, Z" J2 Q( |- n2 S) N* M
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able/ ~: v% G, h7 _" i- r' `* v# C0 c
> > to come to work./ P0 _4 T( {1 [3 b+ R
> >
4 l$ u7 b+ J- F7 L2 Q& L8 a9 N8 k> > Holiday Days1 Y" n2 e# m R- [
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a" V. N0 P. G; I( u( G% e
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
9 \1 {: Q1 |4 a! k1 s& ~7 _& w> >
. d1 f- H1 L5 N: a> > Compassionate Leave
6 \) O* e4 B9 E3 n+ S0 O; i/ k> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
: B2 a2 f1 M5 Q" |- H> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
7 X D5 {% `! g2 L8 _> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-- z. u0 A6 W5 B Q
> > employees attend to the arrangements.# G" t0 |& g" x* b5 j
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is: @0 P" m0 G. M( f7 T6 L
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
- q7 {7 y% T, V6 H$ I3 M# D9 m> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
& O+ |7 d: e4 |( e! S1 Y> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
; P6 c% Q6 x# T& {5 q, V& x> > hour early.
x# z# V9 O0 ?) R> >
) M4 W6 { r8 f- y# Q> > Toilet Use
' N1 I, k0 o5 h! G3 ?8 B3 o# l> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the. J; Q# u& e$ |, }3 K
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit! m% ]. d Q) F! W' {9 t2 R" w7 @+ T
> > in the cubicles.
4 K+ D& ~- h6 ]( R! H G> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
+ q* b8 ^; c; X+ A- j8 x> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle. g9 f3 T; t7 p. o$ T3 S+ o1 N
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.! U) Y$ `5 _* [
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
" c/ v8 U z- W9 D k, g4 B- {> > posted on the company notice board under the8 j \, y- S( U6 P* ^: c( G
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.; T6 t' o" j5 C1 J
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be4 v. _4 z/ c7 \4 V8 b
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
1 |' E/ G( J: z' l M& [2 l0 V( \> > policy.+ {* {0 E# T& P' |% c
> >0 L- f4 b% ~$ \- s' H+ T+ F4 d
> > Lunch Break
/ L/ A9 {0 ?+ r* C9 [/ ^> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they9 X- P$ @7 }# Y- i" ]1 W t
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
]; o/ i* G* T> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to( \! G# t, S( G2 S8 C% F" R( o
> > maintain their average figure.. e1 L# W# I, `! K3 n s/ _
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time) z# Q/ e0 E- J8 C! k& b
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
% C' ~5 [! q7 |- L2 X- n( }> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
9 M& N9 v5 f+ R; J: I> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive" @2 E0 e' f( y/ Z c `
> > employment experience.
. ] S1 P, Q" [+ \0 a> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,& c9 F+ q7 E3 \) ~ _; W g) i
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,0 W3 }) d9 q9 @( E8 w( F2 s2 H" j) k+ R
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be8 k( r/ N' Q' v, j) n* W3 @
> > directed elsewhere. |
|
