|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:! j$ ?7 p* n6 \7 t, m$ Y% s
> > Effective January 20075 J% x( Y/ P8 d9 s/ y0 y" ?" U& f
> >
, V" z1 R) S+ J. U% ?0 n> > Dress Code- h# d3 @+ [3 {/ T* F- f# Z
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
' E* s4 L( F) x, F6 b> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
; u; |6 R; E, O9 T- h> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
, N: T3 p0 F9 Q1 ~1 [> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
8 x [. @+ q3 o+ J H: Y9 ?/ S> > need a pay raise.7 |# I4 R2 L" ~$ {0 |; L, [& _
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage6 v' q3 y) ]% r" R
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
' C6 T5 L' n# J1 D- ?> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
( T0 @, O8 c- _: U/ S ^* ]> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you/ g* G3 T) q1 F4 f, W
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
8 L0 V* C9 C O' T9 Y) o& L> > raise.
6 t! O" Y' B$ f( T; E4 V/ F> >
) ^9 |1 ~, @% @8 e- [" M3 h5 X' U> > Sick Days
. z; x1 O4 _. m6 X8 I& |> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as) X4 b9 ]9 F" z; X! u
> > proof of sickness.
* o7 ?( l: G" A/ s" W> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
, E( Z4 |+ F8 y7 v> > to come to work.6 D0 p& `6 l6 b* }0 h: q$ e. k
> >
* p/ u- {. c1 a0 w2 h+ ]7 }> > Holiday Days1 h8 e H, Z6 r5 s" \
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a1 R) I; w- H6 T: L! _
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
& i' |( Z8 d$ k0 w0 {3 { r6 z> >% K& q& Y/ R$ l* r5 j4 P8 y
> > Compassionate Leave
# k/ e3 K9 `( l8 O1 c> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
8 R# J- W" ?& b( j- H- k$ \2 W) d> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-8 B& z; [! R4 @/ T* W
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
, P# e6 j3 X7 d) Z6 ?> > employees attend to the arrangements.. P. B- f& v! y# k/ O
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is/ E' p/ X2 r1 \ O {; j
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the0 i. j, D$ ^( v& p1 Y, L- b
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
! M. S/ y `: F+ ~1 k; D> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one) V. c" `4 O5 M+ [
> > hour early.
& b0 ?, K9 h$ Q @; x' A% D> >
% N* `: p/ j$ R# I, X> > Toilet Use
# e/ q0 B1 i$ ^, x> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
) o+ S0 _# u4 A( ]0 x i> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit8 }" p, P! {7 A I6 Z* e0 ]
> > in the cubicles.
) E7 R4 l3 |% n( I6 G' m. s7 j/ `> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will+ p$ D9 B& ^' R1 H; t' W4 z
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
% O2 E8 y. f4 n% C) b6 R: W! d> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.2 f0 U3 [3 }0 a9 M# E
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
$ q& g0 C- ^6 P7 K, X3 m, @( m> > posted on the company notice board under the
: ~4 W% Q6 {% }4 r# S$ E> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
( d$ F* B0 {/ r> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
. m6 s. P/ R% A6 V( L% u9 x> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
! G" o! E" T. R3 ?; b) L$ N> > policy.
4 z$ S6 Q6 u8 E) _> >
/ K& K M2 V, f+ t. R> > Lunch Break5 o2 E s! f' `, ~1 Q
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they1 E `- }: d. E ~" g8 V5 t
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.' l' ]7 D1 G# c
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to& y! {2 J$ T6 [5 a+ `6 S
> > maintain their average figure.
! t7 M/ d0 K1 @> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time7 A$ a+ C" I% E! }: q
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
% ^0 k7 a7 q' x+ I( T- U> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
$ ~0 \7 y' B" e5 K, N9 l> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive( F4 V3 ?! H, m. z" o7 [
> > employment experience./ B) Y8 Q/ l( m# j
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,9 Q3 U5 y: ~+ K# L. v
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
% Z! q; F+ f- f% m3 Z( D4 h> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
' e- E& P0 w2 b; R8 p2 p7 ^> > directed elsewhere. |
|
