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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
3 T/ x4 a5 ^+ H" E> > Effective January 2007
$ [! X* e2 Y8 v, ~0 C8 K# M# E& W> >; ^ \% d5 u O. U/ x8 e2 r7 F
> > Dress Code
* Z( x5 i- u; h1 F1 e; X- m> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
6 W9 y W2 S4 w' `> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing8 g" i' I+ `! [& L3 [3 c! [8 t
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume" C* Q9 ^' K) j! j! j5 [; g
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
! Z8 M$ H# c4 y7 H' N3 k> > need a pay raise.: F: b7 G, w* d G5 u
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
6 s1 C+ e* V) O" {> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer# }% P5 F! }4 X
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.! D, ], t- ?4 U) w" f: N* Q) M
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
" S+ b3 J5 V! h+ `& f/ T> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
* w: O6 K: \# ~8 p4 {* O> > raise.1 {5 O1 [% x$ J6 v' y1 L5 l
> >' ^0 z# T4 s2 N! G7 R
> > Sick Days. X- M& P5 c, F! ~% x% ]' Y
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
5 C& Y7 S1 f1 g$ U. f G" H> > proof of sickness.( a; b) B6 x1 l% O) h! o6 B* {
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
9 F1 v1 |- D4 |" G6 c> > to come to work.
' L. E; L# ^& ]! y% ]. ^8 R% m> >1 @$ E+ v: D$ F0 c
> > Holiday Days
4 v6 v8 [) G4 U3 Q: w> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
; t" t6 d8 P2 r1 S% i> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.. n1 T8 H! C4 z6 i4 W
> >
+ s# T0 v5 S1 W; }3 O5 M> > Compassionate Leave
: ]2 g, D& K6 y6 S4 K3 f, _& P> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing# I0 D' o# c7 m1 m* m/ z
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-/ e! L- F/ g% @5 \
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
u% J7 L, g' v! L7 Z2 G> > employees attend to the arrangements.
5 p" j$ L7 }' A* b2 y, @> > In rare cases where employee involvement is( i U5 X# o& d5 j* x8 [
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
: v: G4 g3 U6 y5 ^! Z) e4 T4 s& y> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work4 \0 a4 _5 z& D5 I, L( |. _
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one: a" `& c& I" N
> > hour early.
. _5 h" P; ?9 c, p" [) H6 p- e> >7 C/ _! ~4 W( P |& \- O1 p1 Y) m7 X
> > Toilet Use" I2 A' J) R2 | l; P
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the6 [# n; u3 M/ l' A" g' B
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
6 f4 E8 D+ q9 h* X8 \ j* ?> > in the cubicles.3 E# w) U7 M V X" C# m. _) y3 i
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will& B; x6 e6 N* s
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle y5 o2 ^/ @ ~2 ^$ ?
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
2 K7 p) `1 E- p/ z4 |> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
$ H+ K& n9 n$ h* W9 b> > posted on the company notice board under the
8 }3 L( w8 C9 }% n$ U> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
2 [. l: r1 U% d5 r: b7 J) |> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
. j" Z3 i3 ^1 ~1 g( ~1 {2 J4 J> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
$ N% K e; J8 q: T> > policy.
O% s, r- @! ?4 s/ S> >! M1 k9 g. r' B1 P2 T- D# H* x
> > Lunch Break
7 C: t p- j2 S/ ~+ C4 Y; @4 H3 E> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
& b1 U: O9 t: d" Y+ G> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.* a7 C5 l# r ]7 H( R$ N' m
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to0 a8 e- j8 \, _* _; M1 y! _
> > maintain their average figure.0 B! ^: D4 a6 ^# M( O. a* p, n
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time* f% V' a! u/ f4 ~: D. @3 s9 a
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.0 L+ x* r( x4 @% z" D
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
E$ f6 k& U2 w8 U5 F. t% n% A3 N* T> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
# }7 ?. a) Y4 f% H( e$ k8 }- @$ x) g> > employment experience.
; y% b% Q$ f7 @> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,. E* k6 M3 X; v
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,. g2 W$ R; [# F. S Q
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be3 W" U2 q6 r* ]
> > directed elsewhere. |
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