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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:# t: U: X& T/ {9 S
> > Effective January 2007: R% ] @& h' I, N' R
> > K! p% X0 t5 |+ W! A" l
> > Dress Code( ]; D; {) Q. w8 w
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed2 h: Y/ _/ t/ U0 o5 k5 F5 l
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing9 h+ A3 Q- w, D" w2 ]
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume- U; E% y& _$ v+ C. x: l6 G# S
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
& Z% P, C7 ?3 v) M7 e: T1 k> > need a pay raise.
+ X% Z9 s9 }4 c e" k' S> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage# S0 A b+ Q' ?' Q( T: z
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer5 L. A5 Q4 o. T$ P# J5 u
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
+ B( p5 i4 ?$ `- ^% e: D( t> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
/ v" i9 c8 t; O> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
& Q: m6 V( f) R. d> > raise.2 L0 [5 p: U2 L; J' {. Y
> >
6 h+ t. z6 T' B. X) X- k> > Sick Days; C# {3 M- V5 f; J6 K& Z4 C
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as5 u0 k( a X$ H' t1 P9 A
> > proof of sickness.! g* {2 X8 m7 f0 C
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
% w* s; |3 ?. F# n2 d> > to come to work.* ?% }* \- p; X; V# a/ d+ K
> >
- ?/ Y& k' D7 f, \* _( g7 Y> > Holiday Days& | I! M: c! e0 Z& }' Q) g
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a5 X; y$ P% h3 G: d, Y+ t9 F
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.! S, c# n! r. X1 N' T' N+ g
> >% T1 k3 U$ C. F/ ~
> > Compassionate Leave$ K3 d& J0 G* b9 Z' p: z3 m8 P x# |# d
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
8 U2 L# k( g R) z/ r8 p1 A' _" _- E; R$ [> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-- D5 W/ {9 @' P3 O
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
0 h6 E% b( X! C> > employees attend to the arrangements.
5 s6 v+ @. W) H. h> > In rare cases where employee involvement is" b3 X% [6 Z2 F# ]5 p
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
( T# W2 @' l& [2 v! @# m& ]> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
) Y5 Y* m# }! r> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
0 ^' m$ j* }1 R' ?& \> > hour early.
7 h- m6 g. p7 z" P8 `! {- b" R) P> >
' I- y9 x& }0 I# b; n0 _% n! t# G> > Toilet Use0 E+ w* i# U& P/ p6 O- z
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
~- D k$ T' n8 f! u% L6 ~> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
# _' u+ d$ q: {0 r> > in the cubicles.
! d7 J3 m; H' N8 H; d" E4 ]> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will# k6 U) h! }$ g* }. E0 {* P, m
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
0 c, n8 g6 ^" N, u. o6 x> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.* a( Y+ A3 h/ V5 t7 s
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be4 v* ?; b9 F V( w
> > posted on the company notice board under the
: m) n, r: @; a0 c- o> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
7 s: |! _) u8 @# k1 l: y) `9 G> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be1 G8 F$ E- y2 `1 X' J' Z
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
! c( y4 }8 D1 Y> > policy.0 ~. g* P" B% i i& @& j0 l
> >8 s6 n2 l- r" M
> > Lunch Break
+ W& h' f. \; f! ^6 \7 o$ e> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
( W2 }$ {2 m& j/ ]) K> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
) C2 ]. i5 W$ x# D7 o> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
7 n, ^( F& a7 U, w5 G, l> > maintain their average figure.. I5 \' n0 ]: d! S
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time& @ L* m+ Z7 b/ y
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
8 {; M: E) S+ c( J> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
) E+ Q; }. C: d; X> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive; U7 r' H$ s) v( |: N
> > employment experience.% t/ D2 V# ?8 l( ]8 Q* ~
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,$ g) [* u& _" J1 R
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,0 @0 [+ {( H$ `: H7 j
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be& T) S+ W; W6 A: J
> > directed elsewhere. |
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