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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
" J7 o* \ R7 ]) ]# Z. F# O> > Effective January 2007
' A8 _1 T. y" y4 x> >+ f8 U- ?7 L/ {: o' ~
> > Dress Code) R! Z: Y+ n6 h" K" [8 j, Y8 V; E
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
% S. ?) r! o+ p) v> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing% y) U* s: ]0 o2 B
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume! b I9 g! v3 v5 c8 F' E
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not9 }- B, v5 f' ^
> > need a pay raise.4 ~; W- K/ f! B, N+ n5 V, ?+ _. J; b# ], m
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
$ Q- m6 I% }" j! C( r: v> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
- d& \& p! d: [+ d> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.# Z; n0 d+ m) a4 q6 Q
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
3 w; F4 _4 N* @ I1 @> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay6 \$ A0 ^/ Q5 f0 e
> > raise.
* u; R+ z. [ N" ~" V9 z: |> >
% F" j2 ?' h1 t) x> > Sick Days
+ @" e" R3 N8 B& Z' P* q> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as/ y0 d; X Q0 L- x2 c/ I: F
> > proof of sickness.
1 B8 _& Q+ w8 X- n7 |9 L2 S> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able1 X- d$ \, ^4 q5 P) ]% F" m1 v
> > to come to work.
% p" M( L8 t( j: r( {> >
2 Q# i6 |* R5 B `) G% A$ b2 Y> > Holiday Days
$ C- O4 u( g2 p- P) |7 p( b> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
3 k) w3 \& r5 C- p> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
7 i$ P$ Y) c7 ^* z% U8 B> >+ T$ x5 P( a( d' H0 _4 @' N" u
> > Compassionate Leave
! Y7 U6 U" P( |" h3 g& v> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
; J5 w( e& A) I3 r! Q8 K8 T# |> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
& R( C& Q/ K8 y, L" `' x> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
4 }7 K* [7 `1 R' ?" f> > employees attend to the arrangements.. {) j0 Y+ s. m
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is1 Z* l5 e0 Z* J: [
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the. z6 J- x* b' @- w
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work% K5 j; j: D( j ?" _2 Q
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
: ^) O% j! j/ F) D2 F> > hour early.5 Y- i! d- {7 i ?5 p# q
> >
4 \ a g0 H5 ]7 P' U+ K> > Toilet Use
2 K# D) m! w$ D+ t' K4 [8 J: B> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the& s- r ^- x- }, x# }
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
. z- a [: g! B r, c. x> > in the cubicles.8 J* [, C& V6 [5 O$ J
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
- r; w4 B l8 U. P7 C9 u; g# O> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
3 [" C/ m; W. v' ?) K( D5 \, N> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.8 l. d5 c" e: N* x1 s
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
" c8 _+ I# B8 L q- o1 F3 j> > posted on the company notice board under the
+ X6 h3 Z* v8 t$ l> > "Chronic Offenders" category.$ ]* l' T1 ]! D7 r7 P2 S+ D# G9 p1 b
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
% q8 w% B) y8 r- D4 V> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
" G# u" C; s; u% Z' k' a> > policy.
1 f- a' G+ H( m> >! M- j" e3 ?2 H. Z4 L3 w
> > Lunch Break
8 ]4 t/ q8 X& _> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
8 D4 [* \; e$ Q9 R' x5 H> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.1 [; ^$ P8 x. V h1 S8 ?3 V
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to" s* [! w7 o0 `" N% X; X5 k9 \4 D
> > maintain their average figure.
0 T" s( m9 z$ {7 s# T& N2 [> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
7 o" l- t( a3 ]! p> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast./ g/ H: d7 a6 q8 l* c5 i. E
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
( S" \$ f) L0 l> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
8 J/ S b9 S5 T> > employment experience." } c+ R% ^; P s! i; | Q
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
" m4 q) H3 J# C$ Q9 l4 E> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
* Q7 m/ \5 {! F7 E/ C" h1 R0 S6 f> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be; d/ T4 z- Q: w" u
> > directed elsewhere. |
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