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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
# @- U# D& T8 ~) c> > Effective January 2007
8 S- B' m/ M0 M2 k> ># y# g+ V9 f$ M0 I
> > Dress Code
; i9 E4 i9 R2 C4 O9 Z' r$ c> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
% C: J2 ]& n7 J0 j; V! A> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
9 O8 w# `- q/ A7 `( ^> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume O# t7 R Q: z- O3 O
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not: k+ z/ {7 F1 F9 d. W
> > need a pay raise.# S3 b) f7 C+ O( J, m
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
7 p; s, C( ~+ h& w$ s; n+ [2 J4 @> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer4 u" ^/ c) E! s7 A; }
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
* N6 y% _$ C# T2 |9 v> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
) E9 _ L. }6 d3 F> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay8 a3 T S6 L, S9 F0 _& w
> > raise.
5 X/ p9 b, p7 C% n$ Q B: w- L> >
' \1 Y, _5 Y# X) B> > Sick Days
; f3 i3 y } _" B1 s+ N' u( g> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
8 A; ?6 A4 L; S- q> > proof of sickness.3 v I% V, d; ?* i* A1 H
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able: p% H/ C7 ]- \: Y9 w
> > to come to work.) [ D$ A) h) w( X8 I
> >- |4 o, p; \% L: ?" c* i* |
> > Holiday Days
5 K1 E& ]. g9 l" ?' d> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
3 Z s1 V5 O# G6 o> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
3 V4 e& V2 F7 ^/ q& V# D> >' b+ X: _4 m0 p5 r4 t4 F5 p
> > Compassionate Leave& }" N" p. V+ l3 t( F# f( A' J. p
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing7 B: N7 [* ~0 j: ~
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
. Y3 `+ n1 y' f> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
; e; n/ F, _9 S3 \: g5 S( a> > employees attend to the arrangements.' I) E: ~* z+ n) G- Z. [# Q" c! J v7 F
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is7 ^; }. Z) J8 y; P1 _- z6 W# M
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the/ {# Z4 m& y; c
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
- F; v, h* g1 b2 C" {; P9 z> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
8 i' T4 \0 ~6 r1 h> > hour early.7 G Q$ F1 h! {7 S! D
> >
5 e2 C; m0 o7 _9 @% |# l/ n4 `" I> > Toilet Use7 K) Y: q7 W" F1 u1 v
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the' @$ }+ ^ X: z; d3 n' D
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit" i) J! Y. N0 l, W7 E2 B- Y
> > in the cubicles.% G; C4 c: r# H% X
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
9 i* J, y; D+ a: |- j> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
4 q, S( L+ J' a> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
' W m5 y! N3 O$ I# ~+ g* M% l0 Y> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
! a2 B$ p; e5 | w/ E> > posted on the company notice board under the
4 C2 W* x4 l# x3 }: g9 a1 b8 O2 E> > "Chronic Offenders" category.& z7 S( N! t _6 y
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
2 z* ~8 y' Q6 ]+ R! t& R> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
0 M0 {$ }) ], b0 ?5 x2 q> > policy.
& ]7 Y4 \ ^) z$ @5 F& w> ># G6 | _+ w& L+ W+ Q% \. J4 V
> > Lunch Break# j4 }; r/ B0 F0 U. h( G; f: Z7 h
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
, N7 k6 A" h/ k* {( X' I% n" U; V> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.( p8 n: s2 l$ |
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
4 h6 ~6 B+ G: c7 e5 x( N: t> > maintain their average figure.
. x8 x, ~9 q- m' y5 n> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time0 U2 ^4 }7 U8 t0 B$ R
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
# x( f% T0 N: m* C$ q> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
b6 {8 \; J* {, L2 \> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
$ B3 p; z. F6 { j* h3 s, V> > employment experience.: K& p j0 V0 d' f. {9 A1 |
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,( d: ^3 W5 V7 q+ s; Y% _
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,8 F) {. o+ s# ^: [' Z% z t
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
" U2 s0 k! a2 c! D& b! w' R> > directed elsewhere. |
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