|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:4 X+ V' d+ o4 m- L9 Z q4 Q: O1 w
> > Effective January 2007! D$ z$ o( c0 O `/ \
> >. t( c9 K% G4 L) p- f$ S: J7 ~
> > Dress Code' `- H/ Q9 Z+ M& P2 x3 K0 x
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
" A* Q1 C l7 m h, F0 d> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing( @1 ]9 q! M: l. P
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
1 u6 N* d4 A! m# |6 ^8 J> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not! C i3 B! V, Q* i7 ^
> > need a pay raise.
3 M2 n0 E9 F" \* r8 g( J8 M9 T, f> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
8 ]' u8 `+ y- R> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
0 W7 b( O. u! ? u$ h2 C7 @> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3 y( x" _: z+ c3 b1 y2 S2 e, ~> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
2 l: u; h6 l/ {! [> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay9 ~* z ^$ U" {* z2 P- F
> > raise.
! Y {" M5 W! d> >
1 B) z- c, I! y, d* P( G) g> > Sick Days: c ^7 U$ F9 r8 R
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
4 Z& K! n T" t6 {6 U. z0 d> > proof of sickness.$ I' D- B2 l1 B o9 S
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
8 M2 I' F) X5 r" B ?! n K% N> > to come to work.
( @$ k. S8 ?' e6 ^> >
. p: h) M, F4 A) m0 s0 w> > Holiday Days0 F6 t ~4 l( `. W9 O
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a& L) @' U) L/ @, U
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
& G* N4 M" A4 ~> >
6 X$ H: y6 I( w( A E> > Compassionate Leave
( n8 |" F0 W1 ~5 q. \> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing. q8 w, _$ n7 J* [8 O
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-% k% X6 ~2 R: a
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
( y0 K; X7 t) N) m1 U8 A( ^> > employees attend to the arrangements.
& N; |3 o0 { v/ E8 m* J5 |> > In rare cases where employee involvement is6 H6 m* @8 q6 N: C! Z
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the0 w+ ^2 L% H( w# R% W& K( s1 K) k
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
- Y; O; j% F C: v/ z( m" [1 p> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
! \2 a6 Q7 T, ?6 k$ a7 d7 r9 k) k> > hour early.
* F+ O4 f; Z- \+ f m8 Y$ t6 f> >
3 @# _7 t. d" O5 I6 Z> > Toilet Use" B: V& D! M2 ^9 E0 V
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
3 _9 _( u+ h& L* x2 Q> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
8 G+ U$ I: r+ W3 D> > in the cubicles.
- l4 T4 l) i: z1 S8 r& g" [> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will, ]7 l1 b* i% \
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
) _9 f2 i. L5 b* X> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.& \5 u! O3 T, h: |6 ^: N5 b
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
: j5 t, b* L# a7 m- N5 ?& R1 s> > posted on the company notice board under the/ z* i1 A2 {# _7 n1 G
> > "Chronic Offenders" category., p8 M8 e2 P" P( f7 u! t1 b
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be) y" H1 y7 W3 u- S9 I
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health' N. |- w* {# L% E% Q" e6 {7 Z) [
> > policy.
. J2 ?. x& i' T$ B> >
l. S A0 u6 U0 N5 ?0 o' [> > Lunch Break8 T: U" [) J E' g. e' c5 r
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
; ?) q; e# T" v: R$ G3 i0 ^> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.. f" d* X2 `8 L, @- d
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to. t( E" }; Q4 H, @( W1 N+ K
> > maintain their average figure.
2 y1 ~) o, Y0 U, u. p5 _+ V1 N/ W> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time. E- L2 q# w* I$ @! Z; Y
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
" `7 Y3 A, J6 y5 R( k> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are% L" t: D" L8 g# D# Z" G. g
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
( |; b" O1 X$ N& b& Y5 ]. p> > employment experience.
& R ?- m% ~8 D4 P- h: F& T> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,+ `- y7 b+ ~2 t: q; I9 ^
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
3 \' e7 v- ?; x> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
/ T4 |6 s- i: b> > directed elsewhere. |
|
