|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:5 @& i! A9 w! ~6 Y
> > Effective January 2007- V! ^* A( X+ V& [, g* u
> >
' G! ?/ C& T1 ~> > Dress Code
( p# t+ m# S/ l# L; I" u> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed* t& E0 S- s6 {+ w
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
4 L. U2 n" d6 P" @0 }0 {> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume% Q, \" J& x9 t; i0 Y; K
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
7 F8 d! _4 O& ?> > need a pay raise." t+ k* {. [2 L
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
5 J4 i5 w9 [; B5 G6 C> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer$ G( u% Y: ~+ Y; O: I4 ?+ E$ T9 P
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.2 a1 l7 |; L% {1 K/ _3 u$ L6 s A
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
6 x/ Y3 v$ p2 N> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay( l1 y9 W! Y4 E4 u
> > raise.
3 `8 D7 w e, _& d* m> >7 `. o: ~! k, Y6 P8 J
> > Sick Days
$ I2 I/ y0 N; M; e> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as" G& Z+ O) Z* o5 l
> > proof of sickness.7 |; _/ o9 [9 z8 z9 }% g% X/ g/ h
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
% e( q" `% e# B. i> > to come to work.
" V* M! I" N% @" q> >
& i! V6 g3 ~) T6 y, P* S( v> > Holiday Days
/ R/ r: p5 ^' K' m( ^, U9 Z> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a; e$ a( ~' s U- v
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
3 C t @/ x( ~% L1 J> >: [9 l, j- `8 p* q0 \# g0 p* i
> > Compassionate Leave* G. G( Y4 e, {2 S# H
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
% M5 I3 m" K8 Q6 E# m( _7 x' S- k> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-( P! s8 ?6 ] [( V8 N
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
- {& k8 r# M7 t+ H0 v> > employees attend to the arrangements.5 R8 _) P8 e c; g5 v( ?; E
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is7 K5 p1 j1 A1 _/ x
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
1 A: @+ J! D/ d/ T$ d! O& V( u8 s> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
. J' j# x5 P/ P0 v- `' J> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one8 m& N: @% w& ?$ a$ d7 o" J
> > hour early.' x$ d& `( I6 t \
> >: U. _3 u, v. n, a- \
> > Toilet Use
( z& K/ x3 X. B, E2 i+ K> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the! }, ?2 m) T4 x) s. M( y0 J
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit5 Z7 I% H! L0 D$ i
> > in the cubicles.
% X+ S. ^- P: G" b8 j0 p$ z> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will0 n( r( ?/ n6 n" q; I- i; H
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle$ H7 Z; |& v0 v
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.0 o9 V% c# ?' ^3 T
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be* s" _/ n& `: k6 ?
> > posted on the company notice board under the+ m* C! }; D% J# I% T
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
; G0 y; A E' C n; H> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be/ B2 Z$ u! Y$ X2 V2 e
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health2 }! B% P7 m5 w8 Z+ E
> > policy.
7 n. W8 G* _# j4 G* ~* y, l4 q- `> >
3 ~8 f- e3 Z* h- C; \6 \% [# |> > Lunch Break
) k+ x" z3 x4 ^2 X3 J4 g* K9 b> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
- e$ L- W+ B/ i; n6 [! c> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy." S+ o+ x: d& k+ ^' T! W
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
9 T3 I9 {& ]) T. y _: Q0 }> > maintain their average figure.
2 f% x4 E! S: f4 ~> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time8 n5 J! N2 S: }8 A. n
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
, e; B) ^1 x2 y0 g' l! C0 E> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are4 d6 G ]. V, r6 k, {: h9 ^6 W
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
# ]) h X6 |, [- ?4 v( u) n> > employment experience.
4 X1 t; Y- O4 F! [; R1 y> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
4 }: w9 ]- c/ F" Q6 f+ O/ ^> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,* l9 [$ F, S h, f! f
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be5 J+ |7 x/ A5 w, W N1 b1 g
> > directed elsewhere. |
|
