|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:
7 P9 h! r5 g- F, e& k> > Effective January 2007; _% \7 C' G1 Q8 t5 u
> >
4 l0 N- e1 I0 H2 G> > Dress Code
' o3 p3 S' M: a5 ~> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed0 G/ A5 M4 B! v, l6 V
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
+ |% C- B" D" t, Q( p- k> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
8 g7 v* L' D. \( l& b& ^> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not* X& o0 ^9 F( v& {$ l5 ] o C
> > need a pay raise./ _* A3 p2 \( o% M( ]: j9 _# j
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage0 h& E9 Q/ Q. o5 h* E2 ]/ b" s
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer) q. q: f4 S0 n0 q8 j
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
$ M/ p" w3 E0 Z' x% t4 S> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
8 P4 }4 z- }, p3 l4 {& `9 i* A> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay% I r/ m3 T7 k/ C/ ~' r
> > raise.
1 g4 o% t7 s* X( n> >' s# R8 q0 }0 [$ {8 U% J/ _
> > Sick Days
2 U5 N: W: Y, J$ V7 \> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as2 h- W- q# @ R8 k. g
> > proof of sickness.' \! _, x9 f: w4 `
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
: K& w9 a; L: I; ?7 ^> > to come to work." E: Y+ c) S( X4 \9 ]; G8 G
> >
$ j L2 T! R. B) ]9 j6 p> > Holiday Days
- B* o ^2 S$ p> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
( @3 N9 T3 \& y0 r! r> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday., G/ g& m7 P( @2 C K( G
> >
) n- U8 s3 \+ M" N) K> > Compassionate Leave& d! h' x! q8 k! F& y
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
; W$ d8 j* T# s! m6 v* G9 ?2 a> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-: I; t9 g# t0 M9 D& C8 h6 c: @
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
) ^2 B3 x5 T- C1 C$ q> > employees attend to the arrangements.4 g1 c% i( S( g# D7 ~8 [
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
' L# A; x% x$ M2 A2 ? r" T1 \9 L/ X& [> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the- W8 }: A9 }( r8 F$ z
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work! \9 u) I$ @! W8 \/ `. R1 S" f4 W
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
' P+ W) @/ y* f: n6 e5 {% \> > hour early.
2 B0 _+ [6 f+ t3 P. x- j> >
1 z6 K1 l! ^/ [* `> > Toilet Use
8 K" n0 E, T+ I" p> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
- d; J5 j, ]& P" [5 Y$ |( L" y> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
! D) E: O3 c0 L: l/ }" | w8 U4 c> > in the cubicles.
2 L. X* f: @1 s$ D& z! ^> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
/ W5 c t9 E3 r1 `* ]- A> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
: o0 v3 x0 {' ?6 w! B! n2 g> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.2 B' O. w$ X [! B! I0 W2 Y) n; d
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be) L& A" P$ Z7 e1 e' W; y# R
> > posted on the company notice board under the
8 G- B5 f$ m& S* B0 q: z> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
+ z, J$ n5 n9 e0 U3 p7 \& t1 W> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
8 t* m% I8 Y$ n) K; i* Q7 A> > sanctioned under the company's mental health4 g" H! @2 I; \- Y
> > policy.
" v: R+ `7 H% p, G a> >" H' ]; ?5 x+ m0 l/ s
> > Lunch Break: k/ y% b! n1 ^( |3 J! U" ?5 q
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they; y- J0 {# k; r8 z
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
( N4 B7 l9 C, e3 d8 N> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
* \$ J, b8 j! a, ?. P, p> > maintain their average figure.5 L8 J# H9 q6 ^" d" n
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
; P$ p, r$ Z. x> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.1 o0 J1 y R4 w) ?! J5 S
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are0 J0 T' _4 K- h! Z( S. _ y
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
# _0 i0 ^. a1 E+ J> > employment experience." ?! I0 a' @" ?. K
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,% o% s3 Q9 [4 }9 `$ T" x
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,' ]* e- z6 E2 b8 Q7 r
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be( T* {2 D# K( O. K* Y8 s! u/ h3 M
> > directed elsewhere. |
|
