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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
' x1 }) j$ B" R+ K7 _: m% |> > Effective January 2007
; ?3 r8 Z9 C+ ]0 y" m& W> >
# x7 U6 O9 ^! y# R$ H: b, h> > Dress Code& J/ V' z: r# g$ R, _
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed0 k9 ]* G$ M; S% }
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing0 w$ s N2 Y2 J* P F; |: j
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume% V) y* L: `9 | M/ m a; J4 {
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
9 C1 x4 c7 N; F* O> > need a pay raise.
2 ?7 W9 o7 J% i) K( T> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage9 F8 k' A7 h) Z6 e& W8 f
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
' T8 Q1 h4 z2 S9 n( m4 i> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise. t# ^ j H; o: s' ?0 F# ~
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
) {& c, N7 N3 A+ ?9 k2 M> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
2 T4 C1 ]+ w8 o1 v2 m> > raise.
8 E6 ^* K" J( a- o$ N x> >
& p: r& R+ z) y' n& ^$ W8 s> > Sick Days
' c _. h* ]# k$ K- e4 w! Y> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
! W W" U6 {, E" q. M6 D> > proof of sickness.+ b [9 J% T" O; O! j
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able2 f, q7 Z9 N7 M- Z4 r _- N
> > to come to work.
/ ?% ~0 t( _. j2 Y( B- t> >
0 ~( p1 Y+ ^; O- r( V> > Holiday Days! Q* O A% D! k, _8 t
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
2 E6 U5 G; d+ K1 S> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.' z1 b0 g \" o+ x
> >8 C4 R$ S. c6 P8 ^ q! X
> > Compassionate Leave# c) h+ Y: U# @: a& \# u) O
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
+ z$ b0 b0 g6 w$ q. {/ Y; c; ^> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
$ U9 R# H, Q8 c E& K$ _( g8 g( N> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-: X) q( Z# F6 [
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
: Y4 w6 Z, j3 k6 ^: p+ W> > In rare cases where employee involvement is1 H; A! l; E9 F7 `' M
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
4 z- [' H7 `: N" n> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work2 S( V5 H1 W# \& x" p4 a
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
: t% z6 ^ e- l% E> > hour early.9 n+ g+ E/ c2 v- p- ~, l
> >
& y/ |4 ^; s% K/ e/ w& Q d% t> > Toilet Use1 m# \6 B: O0 l1 K8 g' f
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
2 v' x1 o6 t, O# c6 D7 R2 u8 [+ ^' L( \> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit3 I- d- [$ b# w3 x; @
> > in the cubicles. W5 S& f3 y) n3 f0 v; O j
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will# }2 D+ [ c( Q% C$ @1 F) I
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
& F4 ^' `5 d: v2 Y* |7 u5 v! p$ Q> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
- O& z6 o: I. x$ G t> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be" C+ ~' b$ I1 g$ `+ D/ H) E
> > posted on the company notice board under the# l$ |4 s/ S" O- [/ G
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
/ z6 N0 Y/ p v7 h8 R- d> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
& V- T# R9 [( t* K! a2 f> > sanctioned under the company's mental health( N* V1 s! q$ y4 x6 u7 |" E) M
> > policy.
8 I, `& t! Y5 C4 s( N6 k+ Z> >4 U+ E' V" v9 X% V' \( j
> > Lunch Break
( V6 A3 C2 C1 z, A0 o> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
+ A: N9 I9 D# v% {6 I& o6 a> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.1 u% P, Q" O: u. {7 ^
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to) C6 M+ ^$ J' t
> > maintain their average figure.
. N; @5 E+ v" F! C> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time! ~- w2 E. ~. u
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.6 S8 `* \. z0 E# {( w" d
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
9 V* N5 Y; g0 D4 J> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
/ n' o( W2 U7 W9 W* W+ @> > employment experience.
; X3 V* l! D' F4 g; Q> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
) h8 [) v) b/ l1 P: F> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,0 H# U4 g# x. j7 m7 j- g
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be, L. T/ y0 h$ A
> > directed elsewhere. |
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