|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:$ b$ X+ g6 Z9 }7 G! X. y
> > Effective January 2007" I/ a5 P7 l# O1 L1 h& f$ ~
> >
4 m# s1 U& W2 @9 L3 z> > Dress Code
$ S N* V* B/ B- z# J1 h> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed: x, x/ T/ j. v8 k, u
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing) ?( E- f0 Z# H( P5 E$ ]: o
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume% q3 O e& s: ]7 Q. m5 l
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not' ^" B9 r2 k8 d! [2 a
> > need a pay raise.
4 H7 A; r$ I9 W, y$ X> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage. q+ v; A$ r- v+ x& \
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
9 w8 z1 T p6 p$ {> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
: j7 {5 A* `8 c* D2 F( d# }> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you+ A/ S5 ^! ~( b) I
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
, [5 L% z$ J9 f0 |0 k+ N> > raise.
8 v( t/ @. [2 |- v. q2 D' d> >( K, [; P0 {2 ?" z3 W ~
> > Sick Days, ?7 I; o, D5 b
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
2 \2 n0 c) X7 s5 d> > proof of sickness.5 P' ^1 G) `* w6 J+ V% G9 y
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
1 v- ], t' I2 y2 Q7 k9 Y8 G" R& d> > to come to work.
1 U6 j6 |& T" ~& l: S e> >' r% ?" f. ?+ p- x9 a, G2 C; i+ ^7 c
> > Holiday Days5 K A" }, C a5 C( \6 Y
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a( [- F% `3 K+ y3 l( z6 t$ V3 K
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
' ?+ Z7 C% J9 K; p0 A> >+ L+ K, [7 ^, a$ A
> > Compassionate Leave G7 Q, f O) y/ u
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing# w( D; l ~$ k! P l$ V
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-) S3 \/ W7 W# G) X
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
3 u7 i! Q) Q: O7 c6 x6 B> > employees attend to the arrangements.5 ?% s" V$ z0 Y4 d2 j b
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is; \* O* ~- M$ q) e; _3 g- K
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
+ g. H8 h3 A* L" `5 {6 N9 S" ~> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
+ o$ k9 K9 H/ B. V- x> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
$ w: g7 U1 s y+ Q> > hour early.
$ H7 b1 Y2 k4 X> >8 y4 z; v8 R$ f7 [8 V
> > Toilet Use/ P( e" Z* L2 {8 i* f6 D
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
3 U1 g1 i/ x& Y> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
- P2 V* u6 W8 a> > in the cubicles.
8 ]9 k1 N1 B) T4 R8 w> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
5 X* {" V/ d, Y1 F, {( F* \; H> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
! S% V) l8 [1 Q4 a4 U. s> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
: ]' e# V( U h; ^7 P; u> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
* U8 T8 }) g4 {. }" O% g R) n% u2 k> > posted on the company notice board under the5 I5 z. e9 g2 y7 t* q
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
( P3 H t, H' }/ `. o> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be: A. Z- i `5 ^$ G4 n9 Y$ H7 p- \
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health3 p% }/ V! T3 E6 V
> > policy.6 S+ W) e; |! P) f2 x n
> >
8 ^* h9 N# s, ^* t: o> > Lunch Break7 L3 A3 P' d" j" V
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
3 x% l# k8 z% i2 w v2 Z/ l1 ~> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
: l5 E# V+ |7 I g5 }" H> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to; d) R% ]5 w+ g; |( o# }# }
> > maintain their average figure.& L" m7 k; o: _2 b. ^
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time1 M. B) E, Q" Y" _4 e* `
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.- A$ [) { [& X$ X1 F3 O& z& ~
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are' ?. g' e$ H" n+ L8 ]# S4 X. `" x# r
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive3 n3 a4 b( I6 i0 v1 m7 }/ r
> > employment experience.9 L! G. ~6 n U* `" L, _0 u
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
5 q, y3 ]' Y* k3 y> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,( H' c$ B0 k- n( v3 l
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
2 {. Z5 N; I x> > directed elsewhere. |
|
