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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
" f% A$ L. |) n& e( R) m> > Effective January 20070 S/ M& {% w+ B0 O( W8 Y& k
> >
9 Y+ M# b& q: G+ o> > Dress Code. Z9 V, n2 S; @3 H1 i2 l% K% a
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
# I# F/ q- E: }, c> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing" [* t4 P- _3 w" T7 V. ^0 g& F% V
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
/ I' I B! C0 Y> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not; h1 L$ |' B2 }+ {* ]
> > need a pay raise.
! ~$ P5 V- N9 {7 w _' @' I> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage; `; |; d% L* q: L
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
0 X, i* d1 \3 A8 t8 z% E> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
" y% ~6 _ Q% R6 w, B5 X> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you/ e( y( t8 k9 c2 _: Z9 f
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
! g$ @9 _0 ?! U" k) l- v! ~> > raise.
% L3 R$ y* V0 @; W4 F2 i> >. h2 I* u3 _; {3 R1 W1 h% T8 V$ }
> > Sick Days' c* u2 g. l" o0 a
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as/ B- t( c+ s( O1 P% c$ g, l& [7 d4 [5 i
> > proof of sickness.
$ P: S5 n2 d' }% c> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able) H- m8 d% |+ V; P& c Z; B
> > to come to work.
( X) R9 K% L H6 b8 |" F+ X> >
1 F- B; n, \' F3 J/ C. D> > Holiday Days
1 [ j6 X# {/ G! B ?/ | \) P> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a% Z% `+ F( E: O7 G. k
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
# m9 s" b. B4 L/ u0 S> >5 e4 E* H% \6 |# _
> > Compassionate Leave: O/ ~( e7 d8 U! w' m, a
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
# J5 q: [! R5 H7 B% }0 Y> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
1 w) C6 h. d/ D# u& Q/ E> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
# X* r1 B# V8 B4 ]+ x> > employees attend to the arrangements.2 ^8 ?2 Q3 z! O- t* d" S
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is% b/ _. l, A6 c5 Q
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
& A7 H+ j; ?1 F7 z- V2 n4 U6 V> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
; k; ~" |9 U' F: C/ Q; q# f> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
3 u. n" t) E2 s# U- J> > hour early.% D$ i( q/ `& O& Q
> >2 r. m: b3 J& C" r9 J0 Y6 i
> > Toilet Use
, m% [; e( H! X0 ~> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the. C6 z( N6 X, }( c
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
' L% K! M1 G D/ ?> > in the cubicles.9 y' C/ i; K( {- X, }9 Z% R" V0 D
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will8 R# {6 Q4 y7 u4 `
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
' T# N0 c# G7 e( `- G, Z; z3 [, W" ~> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.: i7 o3 s# U2 g. [( a! i# o
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
$ z# X! w( h& M9 s% m0 y1 i$ r( X7 R: Y- `> > posted on the company notice board under the7 H8 I% y1 A7 z2 u% a6 g8 F# v
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
6 |: ~+ Y0 u3 ^# s> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
; c9 W8 x5 E: q> > sanctioned under the company's mental health) r; U) n& X4 P1 U$ w) t
> > policy.- | Z. y) _3 Z* x
> >! ~( C7 _: x0 ]9 Y* m
> > Lunch Break( Q4 ~1 [! p# |: R: z
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
/ s* E# J1 P7 P/ W> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.5 m- t' S8 m% k! f0 b/ A9 |4 V9 v" m+ x
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to4 |( F* y$ i* p; G* T6 ~
> > maintain their average figure.
* G3 P9 d( X3 U% j; N4 T( ^> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time, w! A1 Q5 @6 c9 T& ~) P+ I
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.! d0 Q6 i# }) t0 T# b. D5 O
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are' y$ u F3 m* T% q {
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
1 K- e% c9 N0 k: U1 h$ [> > employment experience., r( J5 r% Z6 A* C7 j
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
' X6 w5 g7 q3 ]" w% o% R# b+ y$ [> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
/ U( L7 Q& A3 U- y$ n> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be0 e4 X T6 j1 L, c/ o6 Q" [. k' @
> > directed elsewhere. |
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