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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:2 A' M8 v8 U0 E r
> > Effective January 20078 D( T- s4 m- I; x
> >; B$ c$ @$ J: ?2 q
> > Dress Code r O; K' E, |3 [# _
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed n7 G! V. f' C5 M- Q& @6 s1 b- z
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing* Y8 i- C. z1 X1 W: u' }. a6 n- j
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume2 e# \8 e: g; D5 \' I( m- t, e( k
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not! |5 M8 O. H5 `! R- T
> > need a pay raise.5 M) X" b/ Q0 g2 |; g8 W& I: \
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage# y' O4 ~; |- O! ^
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer1 \( @9 C2 G- V1 S
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.2 k5 \( f0 K7 d g
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you7 T. L6 ]+ t% x r' m. W' M n
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay' X1 Z/ a4 R4 B: k
> > raise.. U% H+ W9 @" O$ H8 ]& C+ E0 I2 I
> >
2 E* K. E* D. g0 o5 T> > Sick Days3 i( z: l7 e- O# o! F
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as& a. C! B. n4 U: t8 i
> > proof of sickness.
& m4 p3 z1 n5 S( c> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
. r9 d' z- E9 U+ b3 D% p> > to come to work.
C7 J/ k0 I; Z. I: y> >! p6 d+ D7 T# @2 M, j- A2 l
> > Holiday Days/ r3 m; p: z, t% O2 i* P3 x
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
1 C+ }5 i0 E7 ?! I$ a+ ~' f> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
$ e# U3 d$ P" q3 K: h0 B> >5 \, H( k( W# X& c
> > Compassionate Leave! X# z: G4 Y$ q( q$ t
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing- J+ d5 B5 C) i; }: c: }! x: d' S
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-7 [/ N* H$ R0 b! U- h! G
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-7 O; ]8 m* o) A8 A
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
0 }8 y8 j% v. Q/ T" e! W> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
2 I9 ]- @* S- r4 F/ k> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
9 o8 j: ^' y* l& N( n: v> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
! F+ r% q4 O8 h: ~' O: p6 [. l/ H> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
# u; s' \' F$ i* {8 X& t0 L> > hour early.
$ ^+ [' q9 A- T f) k) N! i> >
# ]" F Q- n% {2 x; H/ H) p3 [# H> > Toilet Use
3 B: }* o6 ~- E& Y' H: J> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
+ M; y% r0 L3 s+ W/ j> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit7 ^- [& l1 V) K4 u. t# o/ H4 O
> > in the cubicles.3 D/ @( O8 x; }& C- {$ V
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
+ M: O9 o' A! w( B( T' p, I> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
7 ^& ~2 _. m& C; H- o/ F2 n> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.% R$ X! P! K' ^1 B/ W6 r3 N1 F
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
' Y8 Q4 F4 u+ Q& |7 R. J' U> > posted on the company notice board under the
' U2 m# f' X- ]. _> > "Chronic Offenders" category.# ^3 q2 d; u/ s- _ u2 y
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
V+ ]' G1 |+ U8 f> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
# A" H) [% M% b' r8 s! H> > policy.
1 ]6 P0 C0 e$ h& ?> ># d6 r+ h' |! R
> > Lunch Break1 `5 {& k @ n- Q
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
7 {' |( T' x# q% Z> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
& E; a+ F) b2 C( R9 z* r/ h> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
* i# p, |" [+ v8 R& W> > maintain their average figure.1 |8 Y. A) k0 z! D. y& G2 w
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
: o8 t2 c* _' U9 V2 K> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.+ ]) H: v2 e; j# K% j* q
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are9 {- q7 J0 h9 k) A
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
, \1 B7 U0 J5 E9 [$ i! `5 {3 Y+ c> > employment experience.. R5 W- G$ ]7 x( D
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
/ j( K) j3 P- P/ K- K6 }; k> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,$ L- v3 {2 f- ?1 r
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be" A, C- h5 s- J
> > directed elsewhere. |
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