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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:' C9 F1 B8 X% W, w
> > Effective January 2007
# h7 K$ O2 O z> >0 ^8 |, O, A) Q5 U8 {# N
> > Dress Code$ {7 e# i) m& _ K3 v3 b4 h
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
5 ^1 @9 e- A% p3 i1 @> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing3 x2 a: G. o0 c7 ~# H2 p2 q
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume5 B" s7 u/ V' D% }
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not( u6 K) x- r, l6 k+ J( d) F
> > need a pay raise.( @6 ~3 x( }5 f' N1 F
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
& m: N4 i5 W0 q1 { J* B5 B> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer( `! {) k% D9 l M2 t- ]& r# e
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
0 t) l: A. H6 c+ }/ _* J> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
, }1 `- W; X; J0 C> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay( o7 g! @! ~) C0 C" [
> > raise.6 z# B R( E5 B) W( P, I- l
> >
1 X: o% f4 E0 A) X) n+ ]: T" |> > Sick Days1 A. U. a( S% C. W3 Q
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
; x2 w: i! \1 O4 c- M. ?+ S> > proof of sickness.
3 n5 \5 r, k; t7 I9 m6 O> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
7 f8 S1 g+ g" Y3 D( t+ F> > to come to work.' B9 s* f( @3 ]+ v* t3 J C; p
> >
( r3 j5 f; M$ m( L; N3 r> > Holiday Days$ k$ J0 r. n0 W% n+ X
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a2 a+ |0 {/ R/ E4 D/ E1 N* w; e7 a3 ?
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.! o3 F+ d# u* Z) {8 O; I
> >
* i' s8 N# \. a4 _/ _% N) D> > Compassionate Leave
/ n! u$ v( t- l' F> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing0 ~8 b8 E/ e/ o9 ?- H# a# S
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- f5 c) K8 b7 T. H1 ]
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-, T0 Q/ [& L1 d% i& T9 E
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
4 Z7 |% Y7 }9 b2 t8 j' ~( u2 P0 d: b> > In rare cases where employee involvement is; {" @# r2 U& w' M6 o4 U
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
4 D& n6 i4 v- Z5 X( Q( K> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work' J9 T4 c1 \* r- \
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one) W$ H/ Z; c8 Z& [8 p1 j: v6 }
> > hour early.
3 k4 {+ w0 V3 x% W> >
3 \# I1 J6 G" E. Y0 S> > Toilet Use
9 c$ h# Y1 \. H1 j) W> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the0 |) Y( N: r# ?% G
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit$ t: p8 E8 M4 D8 v5 j% B
> > in the cubicles.& E8 V; U6 K6 f$ B% _
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
; r( A' @3 K% O t. u+ K2 ?7 Q, f> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
3 R$ `, z- J1 x0 ?+ H5 E/ v> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
% ?: V: D' i0 ?, }+ ?" Y> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be8 i' i0 K! `0 w0 I
> > posted on the company notice board under the' q# Z" u0 {) o
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.1 y5 v9 n) `( B n/ h
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
; W* C5 J3 k1 e> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
; T& \; u( U2 K; @> > policy.& i$ R1 i/ j N/ v c Y
> >
- J8 |3 a5 u, S4 T7 {5 H> > Lunch Break
/ Q' I# R1 g$ F& V> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
& K: N) k! l( X> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.3 m2 v9 s! T9 B9 N2 U W
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
. h% @& ]( s" m> > maintain their average figure.
8 t, y( N- B4 [4 \$ A/ c> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
4 d: ? _$ Q. S> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
b6 R2 o3 M% ?# `1 X8 V. r9 A- d> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are$ ?: }' @0 U& q
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive; L1 j7 z2 f! Z: `* H
> > employment experience.* B# c* u( B# ` T8 m( Z
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,+ q) `) {* [; P P
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,6 `' W0 q6 i# a4 z( _. S, }/ U" R: C
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
9 M# D8 v) c5 O& j9 M! Q+ J> > directed elsewhere. |
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