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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:$ f4 `: P# A1 h; d' t
> > Effective January 2007
7 ^2 D4 l4 J) ]/ r' y3 p> >
" |+ V3 H- c/ I f/ D) T% f( m> > Dress Code
% d2 W L5 W( N> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
9 u& v$ r: r0 u- G" e% T> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
/ O r& ], X" H> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume# o, h/ P5 z; |1 K7 `9 `. t9 A4 p0 i
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not3 W+ U3 W* {: U) v1 K2 D$ e9 O @4 @
> > need a pay raise.
5 b2 C8 O2 L( Z `> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
# A- O8 A6 E4 p! P- p> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer. f' h: g5 B5 Z1 S6 D
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
( |* o! m+ O L> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
" \! N* Y" P$ e> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay1 w, C/ d. v. I' ?
> > raise.
; v5 \; V# D" {2 v8 U$ u> >
! O# v3 Q/ s) ? d> > Sick Days4 ~8 T8 a) `$ d
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as2 i0 h2 w/ c$ a, V1 G
> > proof of sickness.
1 l5 [+ c- a# @6 R3 L> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
. N; y4 ^& D5 Q$ k> > to come to work.
1 X2 a$ B! E0 I7 Q. s9 g> >' j. Y" o$ @* ^( ~: U- o) F
> > Holiday Days
0 `# @, k I0 n' w* \5 D> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
2 z: y* t' T- f( Q' Y> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
. D: q V9 f6 t8 L8 A> >
8 A: m+ D* h( R% H S> > Compassionate Leave2 M% S# X8 s0 [0 C& c/ q1 A
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing0 m2 h" g; A* s/ y8 l/ S7 ~* M
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
& Z# s3 w8 x, d9 k- m) I+ W> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-8 W+ a9 D+ j* z" `
> > employees attend to the arrangements.% F& w4 a5 v# |; h. Z+ ~) X
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is3 _- Q7 r8 I. z% U1 q* h
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
1 M# _- F( P% s- E* W* E5 [ S> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work c& u# X; [) F0 t1 f
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
4 y* f0 ~) V7 _$ [, _% j> > hour early.9 K9 F( K; _ X0 U W7 }7 I9 ~" ?
> >
5 U9 V1 K9 q& ], e$ W. M; ]> > Toilet Use
( f, Q1 [0 V/ k5 ^> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the: `% n/ B& R4 @$ I5 Y" Q% U Y
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit- G0 j; T. U+ J) G h2 P) [& q0 u
> > in the cubicles.% X8 Q- y6 {. o1 t- e/ G( @! K
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will% }8 U# n- h+ K$ r( C, V$ S
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle& \; M! h6 C4 \0 Y7 @4 y. u
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.6 l/ y* G2 Q' G- D: E
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be7 _1 f8 X/ W$ w9 M/ A6 i9 g c8 M
> > posted on the company notice board under the
+ Z1 a$ F" }5 c4 ?8 ]1 F6 ]> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
6 G" v- p8 Y' m> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
2 ]7 s. X7 ]' e, y( {* R> > sanctioned under the company's mental health, R; _/ _4 [5 \# a
> > policy. k/ e0 b# g2 L( r
> >
6 M7 g. {8 g: W5 a5 x) g* A> > Lunch Break! M5 b) a) x' w3 `8 R4 S( x- X
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they S# N8 Y& i4 b1 Y" [, A
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.% B7 A% g7 k: w# @% @
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to" Z- H- _' H: \% W
> > maintain their average figure." D+ P7 R+ G1 B
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time- L* W/ F2 V) w
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
% F W1 S U$ h> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are1 S4 |6 n7 `. V8 G0 B5 `; D& O
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
5 C U& e# B# t: T) L/ \" U. X> > employment experience.
' t; [5 C( ]; G> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
) k* A2 g: S: \6 I( _& s- O> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
& Y* t! S, K( q2 [6 j$ G5 N4 x( u> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be6 f: p' p/ x2 w! g+ e3 H1 b4 U" w: Y
> > directed elsewhere. |
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