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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:# w) M1 X! [3 |2 {$ _5 W `' c4 ?
> > Effective January 2007* x' Y2 U9 d5 ?. q
> >- K* ^2 p& [& X6 z
> > Dress Code, e' S6 v1 ~1 ]% D. g8 e
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed; }1 d% s2 G8 K" e0 {/ _
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing: k. E4 N2 {) e1 ~, J8 l% v/ k
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
3 L1 K. A" X7 j5 c6 B& W> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not# e: P2 F- B9 ?3 O# E* q
> > need a pay raise.: q3 g n1 o& o* S1 N
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage/ M0 z% r! J/ B. ]( p
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
% @1 w- R& y5 P" k$ _' q7 m/ p" i> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
2 s# _9 T; m) y; N; Q3 C> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
4 r5 C: g. n u1 _6 }+ |9 e* D> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
3 _, L4 e' x* {$ C; R: Q> > raise.
4 J, j! g$ }3 H0 M3 u$ y> >" ~- ~8 L; _) K7 ^, K' @
> > Sick Days
R7 C! N% L# A, A# A( X* K) {> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
- x2 x3 o# D* m> > proof of sickness.: V# m2 f% c8 I6 z: M
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able) j4 J2 y! n# _" t
> > to come to work./ a3 n0 c& c6 T- u2 h6 ]: x7 u2 X
> >
: H# L- e7 O8 R U: H5 f5 v> > Holiday Days
& Y' q3 s* M, ^8 H- I; {; y> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a2 R, ^. c0 k: b, p8 P5 k) |3 q
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
2 r* r7 A; T' @> >
, S2 V4 K6 Q& O% w e0 @> > Compassionate Leave
6 Z9 E) d- W# k- n" p4 `8 [/ D> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing& y" |; d. i' h7 P2 ?% L
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
2 R( c( b* B1 j: t* K> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-. }8 D6 z8 {5 m- k
> > employees attend to the arrangements.1 E# G4 B$ r! b
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is0 |: B E# a& V7 ?4 V6 U
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the1 q Q' U: D" m7 a
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
^- X; @# a7 |4 G5 w0 K> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one3 _, @! z8 y5 S* b7 y6 i; w( x
> > hour early.. e9 P2 P* g% f, c7 F
> >- E8 P7 f7 h$ k" p
> > Toilet Use' C( S' r1 D& \* v3 d' |
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the# k! ]$ I% p4 c8 e7 ~
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit: ]. Z6 h' J8 ~+ E4 G5 j) w* X
> > in the cubicles.
+ G% q8 x; p& f6 _2 ]# M> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
; [: K7 T& ?' q> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
; _* |! z g/ v3 f5 k$ q* f> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
" o9 x! i4 H/ u> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
& f, O+ x% G) \" Z& ^4 U> > posted on the company notice board under the5 Y' S. a0 o4 L& E c
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
$ F9 C: @5 k% x. H, N9 N> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be% d1 y. n3 q' _( v( A/ t& t5 @" r
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
/ Y% ?( A( m4 l0 u5 B( ^> > policy.
( |+ Z6 y; K/ P* ]3 B) v9 t5 E> >
9 C9 g/ q& h9 y> > Lunch Break
4 Y0 H8 t4 S* Z* N* |> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they0 v' y, }9 j* l) r/ ~
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.8 e0 s. B8 u+ Q; {0 J: a& n0 `9 r
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to8 C5 g# @ e7 z9 J" Z5 l/ Z
> > maintain their average figure.
. m0 R& M) o- [7 T4 s+ T> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
+ b4 i; S- x6 U& S* W2 D/ [7 o> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.& p7 |+ P2 v( D# g6 m" W7 n
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are3 N" X+ W, Q7 y* i" n9 N( ~( h; |
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
s8 y& J1 u9 Y+ q> > employment experience.( n2 S q3 H2 u/ T0 K+ c D
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
$ h* V& p1 D- M7 ^) L6 K6 s( K> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,! n" V+ ]# [9 J1 }
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
- p% B. z7 v7 c3 j> > directed elsewhere. |
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