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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:; Y3 m& Z0 ~/ F' ^5 g# q$ d( ^
> > Effective January 2007
. k& v5 K9 o [3 r/ g9 A- l% T> >* C0 X1 _/ J3 g+ v( l% V- R( G0 s
> > Dress Code
7 e0 p5 V1 f) `+ |> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed @( i% i D; p2 b3 B
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
t; F. V6 E, k9 P> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume3 e( L. \$ `( f" [9 l
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not) f! p, A0 N R$ d. H8 v/ P
> > need a pay raise.- j8 K3 n" |; p9 [! |1 G3 U) p
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage" ?( O1 H6 i& ]) L5 P( c, L
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer6 D! g! q; |7 Y6 }
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
5 j" e% ^/ A/ e: _3 i Y> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
: B) J j8 x! q> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
) ]0 {- E6 ~2 |) G9 t> > raise.. L' Y: _' F8 ^( U! P* r6 q9 P# v/ H
> >9 B6 @# y) m$ m6 i. U3 _% g& B
> > Sick Days
$ r2 s" C1 O& G; w M. A& U> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
B7 [$ S" E8 U0 s, X> > proof of sickness.
; _( v# ]9 I1 P; X% P' ?1 u> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
8 D' s6 }1 [2 O5 k4 ]! a' u> > to come to work.
" t. h7 v$ A8 j5 Q' H9 l3 M> >
' ^4 p' f) h4 ?* k> > Holiday Days+ D: K9 w$ d% H( @+ Q, X
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a ]$ v$ e/ W) A4 ?4 f7 x
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.8 V+ Q2 r# }. K) J
> >
C5 E- f& I2 E4 K! p> > Compassionate Leave
7 f& J$ E& W u& C1 ?/ x! S3 E> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing! i8 ?* J' O( h- h0 M6 ~5 w
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-5 x E# ]2 u q! {+ ]3 O
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-( n7 j' K( l) H+ q1 i* A
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
$ s7 {9 \' {" b* [) Z> > In rare cases where employee involvement is. M- x# g4 W. ^' f5 ?" ~
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the' h4 y3 U2 V4 j5 l1 u7 a
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work3 a' A* N) P; R0 a; C9 k
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
+ M# k4 I3 z* S% P) D- }9 L/ N> > hour early.
% V4 I* {+ U$ n/ X* e& q5 F6 w> >/ W* w8 ~2 t* b/ V4 z/ ~
> > Toilet Use
D" X8 t5 R6 _8 d> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the C- |6 B" E h- _) i6 y- U
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit# ^2 Q( c M6 V, q
> > in the cubicles.. r4 W% \. D' W* f' Q$ S
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
- T5 @; L9 T+ d- p8 }> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
! p4 X5 |7 b0 m- y> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
/ ? ?* }7 I% }$ T! O7 B9 J6 J& T> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be5 {$ i. k3 d, K8 I+ i
> > posted on the company notice board under the. W+ R9 H V: Y2 H( \
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.9 {7 ]. @6 u& L/ I0 y0 X
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
$ Z/ q9 C" c0 m6 X! h# a> > sanctioned under the company's mental health2 f! m0 K) n, [
> > policy.9 A' w9 Q, @- ]# W- ^ F
> >
! _8 R" y' T' Q; H: l5 s* r> > Lunch Break
% L' R \7 \ @8 K7 t2 t8 F> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they# Z5 T2 p2 @: G+ V
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
( ~* W" S/ I7 d, W> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
- Z$ l) s% G& i2 L* D> > maintain their average figure.3 q4 e% N4 \* ^9 T7 u6 s m1 U
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time5 F5 S1 e1 b& J6 w
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.5 T C4 O1 y9 ~. W" T" f
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
; V9 g- D# W& `9 I* G" \* j> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
" @6 x+ z8 x1 |> > employment experience. D* e @ @7 |, B! B+ _. H
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,$ F. @. w# E% e9 `; Z
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
: h/ h k4 H' }> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be% [9 p* o' y$ T- m* q- ~
> > directed elsewhere. |
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