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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
% J8 `" D) u4 g, ?+ _0 y% y+ K% \' j> > Effective January 2007
/ F) m9 B' m3 n- t5 h* j> >
4 j: s4 l4 I4 |0 T9 T> > Dress Code
' P. A) E0 f! T( O! [> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed; e/ k' g8 P( E: K9 ^
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
3 e" d9 X+ z% v r* s1 R0 e> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
0 }" M" [8 r( ?- y5 Z1 y+ H> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not9 b' M7 |: D& j
> > need a pay raise., m$ b, N4 m2 @7 @7 e9 {
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage1 v2 u' z$ Z0 {( m
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer) A. Q; r7 b: V s: K8 H% L
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise." T/ e5 c$ P3 V7 S5 k. J
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you+ q5 `; q7 ]+ L; N
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
% |- i& ]3 H- f, O! E> > raise.! d% g/ _% ^( h1 Q r
> >
( o6 l$ t b& N1 y! g> > Sick Days
5 v/ q! m9 x. q' a# a> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
: s8 C* v5 w# |/ [> > proof of sickness.
w" R% q3 M( s5 W/ H% ? c> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able4 V# S$ _5 u- Z: |
> > to come to work.2 D7 ?5 j' A' w# s1 @
> >) H/ K8 p6 M# @8 X0 Z1 S9 x3 ~
> > Holiday Days( J: P) W$ r2 ~, i4 }
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a: _) Y& D( A/ \
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
9 W. o+ U, D0 R H) y( N+ a) D> >
* m. c, V9 F! N J> > Compassionate Leave4 Z9 w/ J& o+ z0 @4 m5 C% P3 O) L
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
3 ^; J: |2 h! k/ v# @* ~> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
2 g) N1 V, W4 `> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
% p' \4 f# Q+ |7 E1 I O> > employees attend to the arrangements.
' v A/ _: ^) o> > In rare cases where employee involvement is+ S% R, u4 d( a n3 V
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the5 u" R( Q6 o$ ?4 m; j
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work% l% B6 H0 n# [$ A! r& _% H5 Z
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
9 R( v+ _5 u' ?1 c6 N: ~> > hour early.* u5 U, M7 b& i7 Q8 M
> >* V/ B8 b# n! k/ U! H7 i$ F, o
> > Toilet Use9 B$ V* L7 m& t! z* v9 x
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
1 p) j+ {8 S' C4 ]& M- c; {( P> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit4 T8 l5 a S4 Q
> > in the cubicles.: N+ r% ]; i4 T
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will; {# U, \# F K2 ^+ I2 _
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle: |0 B, e: G; f0 N1 o5 E
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
9 ~% a+ _( }( y: B2 t, b- u' K6 G- i> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
" t% W4 u' N3 t5 i, X> > posted on the company notice board under the
7 Y# H% b, j; Q+ I> > "Chronic Offenders" category. `2 _* F' h2 }
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be6 [* l6 T8 S( w, o
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health' Q) t |( E8 [$ N8 {+ Z
> > policy.
( j6 Y: V1 B: s1 S0 K. y> >: g m# V5 S: ^4 _" N
> > Lunch Break% f n' t% M# b0 H
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
1 f8 e7 k! b5 G> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.0 T* R6 Z5 ~) Y! W* c6 x; z
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
3 E- j3 d' a, h m) R b6 Y> > maintain their average figure.
* Q5 A! e) h% d' h# Y F> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
# Q2 z7 R6 j- @, A# l> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.0 m& L# @4 \* {: k
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are; [* g6 o' s! a" D x/ H, X% U3 ~1 H
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive2 h) \' v9 l4 R9 z* {( J
> > employment experience.
' t$ N1 L8 ]' {2 a9 u" p8 w$ J> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
) u3 F0 I9 U' Z5 \> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,; \% }- b8 X8 X, ]' A) |+ X) A7 T
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be6 k! k( ^0 }- X1 p
> > directed elsewhere. |
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