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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:4 ?" _2 b# A2 ]) q# |
> > Effective January 2007& i: _$ d+ }! V% T I( C
> >+ N, M" u1 @ o- y; Z( e) {. c
> > Dress Code. ~3 w( C1 M0 a+ e
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
: v4 c8 \# } b3 H( u> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
7 @/ c. o: b; S0 ~% e. O0 U> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
) P; P: J; D) F# {, u/ J# r6 G> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
`2 F* ^* E- t0 g9 C; h" C; F> > need a pay raise.8 S' \7 P* f9 X z- T" L) Z! t
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
% ~/ D7 B% s6 Q' U8 e> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
9 _, J% @" _6 z Z> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise." G: ?$ n( U2 j) s8 k, P
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you4 `$ ~- D" A; D4 e5 G
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay" z9 n7 ]! g% W9 ^3 m U
> > raise.
5 m6 C5 D( Y) i2 b/ V6 ?6 G# T> >
; ]! m' f% q8 a: o8 y' Z> > Sick Days+ L- @; W/ {3 Y0 a
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
! l1 @8 d, S1 ~" i> > proof of sickness.
2 l9 x) J2 ]& {; ]0 T% A( o# J> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
$ n$ O9 T8 i; K+ ]; f7 D> > to come to work.
$ e; Z9 l0 R6 ?> >4 \* V- b3 X4 _0 F4 d
> > Holiday Days
( b# l( ^% W& @& r) B! X) t7 \- G> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a6 T d! i8 @ M% Q, X
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
5 x, R( V( C3 T> >
; J9 A9 W% X! t' O> > Compassionate Leave" K; J! ~3 G8 X+ J% T
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
: U" U# k# d) g> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-4 F0 A! d% \+ ~
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
2 _, |7 p( f) X( f) E> > employees attend to the arrangements.3 \& P% O. S! p# `, a9 n+ W
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is! L9 u# M; n5 F8 D
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the- J# W' _ ~2 G4 |- b6 `% @
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work/ c5 u% } ]# t b
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
" D2 a3 c) f3 D/ W* R; E> > hour early.
$ ?6 E4 B* W3 ?2 \& F2 @2 A4 V/ [> >: A) u, b* c2 A% o' r0 G, I
> > Toilet Use
4 ] a1 w1 m3 A K; X> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the7 F4 ]; L. N- v* A2 k9 p) z& P% y O) a) y
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit T) R- l! |/ l; g& E2 W
> > in the cubicles.
. l6 _. A. j& v5 F4 M" N) \ r> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will- T% }5 q2 T) R6 b4 ^& A* a4 x
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
a' ]/ ]! p: R Q J1 n: i> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.0 d; O+ _1 F9 {) I9 T
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be) V2 a) ~2 V: q- Q
> > posted on the company notice board under the$ R. D$ b; u. u5 g6 k8 Z: D
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.! I4 r6 {& T* ?$ n
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
4 T: x+ ?+ Q& ?) i. y# }& ~> > sanctioned under the company's mental health: r1 d* X" w, u& R' {( V
> > policy.* G( ~( a% j5 s# x' e: ?) l
> >
0 h# e7 b1 _4 S# w+ _> > Lunch Break* Q9 c+ O0 z* K H% ^
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
3 o# _7 N1 K" _0 u: Z, J> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy., T* |: k: g7 ?/ M3 r
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to! k* d: C, L6 ^& j( ?
> > maintain their average figure.
7 {3 [8 H6 e- _# ~$ [0 l' {> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time% I( I! o6 d0 |
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
6 O) U% ^& l# d! f; {> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are! z, _: i" u/ I9 {
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
- h5 T5 n( R. b) [9 R> > employment experience.$ f. G, W; T' I* K: m9 x$ _; W! V
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,8 z9 q6 m# e0 ]7 D
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,# }$ f! X& u8 ?
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
; T0 `6 [- i' }* M> > directed elsewhere. |
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