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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:) n J7 |# B# U! A( m+ K
> > Effective January 20073 p" [' G( n% C1 f6 b3 a
> >
8 l1 m [) a7 m5 V6 i( D> > Dress Code
2 Y* w2 \5 O# p" M' E> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
8 a3 M [. j' Z' a> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing. Y1 n! o- O9 g5 C4 u: J- W
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
0 M2 f$ _5 d* a! x4 E, B. [> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not2 g0 O+ d; s, w! l: U3 |. V% \
> > need a pay raise.) h1 v- y2 Q* X" w# `( j
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage7 Q5 g5 U2 ]7 S5 X9 y
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
1 `/ L7 X0 F i. u( t: d7 ~> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.9 G0 l% L0 `) M/ V p4 }5 K
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
3 `* j. Z% g/ g: I0 J5 ?6 R$ ], P> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
7 a! [9 Y$ [# L/ ^7 g+ x! |> > raise.
/ x- g. |: K& W `5 E3 M4 ?> >
* P u I' _* B! n% h> > Sick Days
5 P1 f: H0 o9 B! P* V9 G R6 a8 q: y0 F( |> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as9 U# F' j1 ], M0 k0 x! r
> > proof of sickness. ^7 G I7 Y/ f5 V
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
/ h) D. y+ h, D> > to come to work.9 ?0 [3 k8 D8 j0 U5 B- h6 i# J
> >: k1 ^5 p( P" O6 L. [: f' w% o
> > Holiday Days
) Y) o( i; G7 `/ y/ I6 n" \> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a' { z3 P" V9 S
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.+ K5 m2 p) u5 c8 ^
> >
3 u# z( f$ Y6 \2 q4 X& n> > Compassionate Leave3 g( y7 h: u( k
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
7 ^( }) [3 {" j [" r9 k+ ]# t* w> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
; Q7 y' Z- I$ b4 |* o2 t> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-" m* K* W8 x1 E, {' I
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
+ L5 B4 _, Z3 i9 z. Y> > In rare cases where employee involvement is7 i& A9 y$ O" G; Z. M i) H
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the4 ]9 R5 V! P) a! f: b, E
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work6 y- Z0 p; ^" C4 q s
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one4 \; R& ]- A2 Q5 m# Z
> > hour early.
; P8 ?, V# V! T# A% S+ G/ D6 A> >
% A, Q- ?6 W, \6 n> > Toilet Use7 ^& m0 Z: m' U2 n7 H
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
" Q" }( \; v2 M1 U7 V+ y7 Y, h> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
% N; ]3 b( E* O; Z4 E> > in the cubicles.
0 i0 d0 s2 ^/ l4 n: i) U> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will; E$ ~- x$ X B# E5 J; @6 |8 s, Q
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
+ ~$ a, V( l7 R( p> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
/ n9 n' o& m3 r% A8 I> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be# @- K# K. \) u5 K; d
> > posted on the company notice board under the( I9 L. [) Y$ h
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.) W) L7 W; r5 p) V
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be$ H! c. }+ E/ X; Z& r2 u# z
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
5 K- g4 T& O6 p- B( c6 e2 O> > policy.
# u/ J `$ Q" F> >2 B! K9 R, [9 M M
> > Lunch Break9 Z8 a, f& ? B, Z+ V6 ]1 Y
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they# B+ X$ S/ U% o- \# Q: p5 a
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.( l1 i) d, T+ W4 @
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
% d- E3 q/ |4 [7 w. Z/ V, S> > maintain their average figure.
, ~1 o7 B# X; l! L> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time- ^" `1 [( r" _2 w; r) c
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
( [( L2 }; C, e! t# s> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
* d$ Z: ?6 H- U& S> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive/ P$ |8 |, q& k: `# N
> > employment experience.$ C& c5 K$ x) B8 z1 s
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,# ]6 ]7 `$ ]. Y, l5 P9 e; i, G
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,) p# Z R, e2 @3 [3 X1 M' @" [
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be: p4 S0 q* @9 m9 D; c, c1 O- N
> > directed elsewhere. |
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