|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:, O' p7 j% V; Q$ n0 m
> > Effective January 2007" Y5 n L5 V4 C% P( m
> >
a, x* j$ I- k; {7 M8 V: e$ W> > Dress Code
2 n3 \0 Y- M8 T" V6 C> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
! E! l% y( f2 ~6 B9 H7 s# u& X> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing3 d g1 ^. a: C6 k w4 e9 L
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume$ n6 S+ ^( J4 G
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
: x7 v% b% ^0 K/ J+ N> > need a pay raise.7 c1 g8 o: O3 Z* m9 L
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
6 a. f, l# ~# ]( Q2 X% j5 o& t> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
$ d; ?# j; |; d# B. \# n5 ]) D> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
8 [2 `* i" p0 x/ s( z; L> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
9 S3 q0 o6 C3 I; P5 C) N> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay# y6 j* D+ ]7 L" T; X, Q
> > raise.6 j E3 J* i2 u( B! l5 `
> >
+ z8 e6 `) [& `& m l> > Sick Days
1 l1 `0 p0 h' V# U7 E> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as3 ^5 N4 C7 I# z
> > proof of sickness.+ p! E# `3 k5 d" C9 |3 y' V" q5 P0 \
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
9 ^* n/ J" _7 J% V8 R> > to come to work.5 N; @: x: S. z+ Q i' n6 i; G
> >9 b/ x% i/ f" p, F
> > Holiday Days2 c/ W- k& z' ^: a
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
8 z' {$ T% n6 M3 T, A! O% a- c/ e> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.# z" H6 S4 J( a4 z9 {3 o6 I
> >& A: k0 Q9 V4 \" A/ r
> > Compassionate Leave
! Q0 X& F0 Y& z9 Q- @> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing# w) q5 r) X1 A/ `7 a+ _1 ]
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- b( |9 u+ ?! `0 S9 @8 O7 ? d8 H/ `
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-* U% k, @& {* j& E) p3 |
> > employees attend to the arrangements.9 T9 W6 z- x1 F
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
/ F8 Y3 e2 {4 [1 ^% m" @" M> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the, r4 U/ c5 s+ G% @5 b; n
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
) z# L% R/ z0 a4 ~ {; h- K> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
& b l( d; k3 ?9 R6 I> > hour early., X0 J( }% {# G% i
> >
1 @. R- H5 o/ I8 P( h5 E> > Toilet Use2 X8 R+ Z/ u. |; B( W
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
( o( d/ Z* C5 h; O" E5 _( u. P> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
' F0 T! l& \9 Y/ D. s2 U( b> > in the cubicles.8 @1 F- l2 d2 `6 G
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
# D1 V j# e2 e3 y9 E5 X9 ~! I> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
7 ]0 H7 t8 m( d+ s> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.9 O2 k2 M7 O0 c$ d) c
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
: s& W. J2 |- k> > posted on the company notice board under the
; f" _9 x+ a7 D7 Z* @+ o* H+ Y: O> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
- m) P% A/ b! N$ E> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
! i) [7 A( ~" F* S: H> > sanctioned under the company's mental health% j* ?# l* g0 u
> > policy.; _9 @$ Z }: l9 B1 r
> >
2 ?1 q+ i' c# I/ H> > Lunch Break
$ a. W8 L) v" s> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they; V- e# z. J4 r1 R! C' v1 D3 J
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
0 V4 f" q/ C% c% c; T ]3 q; i> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to1 B+ }( S/ u( ^" F' `5 T
> > maintain their average figure.+ o$ Z+ s+ X* h0 q) M7 B6 y
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
5 u+ Z, A3 p! {& \> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.: o c3 O6 H8 K* Q$ P" p! S
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are5 p, O6 t0 @8 K. I1 M6 Q% h3 Q
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive: V5 z+ q/ l$ c; h: F7 M
> > employment experience.
; W2 n4 s4 j3 j$ A' t> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,' P, @7 G* u: n. Q* S
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
# x+ v7 S$ D- Q4 G- F> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
2 X0 F, R7 R5 P# o$ Y> > directed elsewhere. |
|
