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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
, A8 O/ G/ h% n9 G6 k> > Effective January 20075 [" L% V% p4 [$ z0 ?
> >
$ A4 e0 E- W+ @9 c3 w) i% O1 z> > Dress Code
_9 g, z9 L- a# H) _% A> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed% \+ j! Z2 I y3 I* Y
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
( u* m" d* W( r; B u5 r+ n; a> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
. u" r z. B8 j> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not7 K" U/ o9 S! B6 t
> > need a pay raise.
8 U/ N5 p( b5 S# k# k> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage0 c6 d) q3 {* c
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer% Y0 C2 ~$ Z( w2 W. J( }# H$ b& a( L
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3 A8 t: g w% h8 [6 {+ M# y8 q> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
, z5 E3 s+ @. q0 C7 ^) E> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
6 l/ Z+ X2 [8 T2 H; y> > raise.8 Z5 i3 |! ?0 m4 V) J, m
> >/ ]6 Z& [, d+ P8 y7 C7 f3 N
> > Sick Days
1 X+ u! {2 E- ?/ E5 I7 u: [> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
# M8 J# f# k' W( K/ {3 p, h; b> > proof of sickness.
0 S4 Q9 W. n3 B+ o& ^! ]& K> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
7 R* u5 A, N4 X6 T4 g) Z> > to come to work.! b- W8 ]3 S( w [- C+ ~
> >) O4 K7 m- W) d
> > Holiday Days: e( ^, s9 M% O1 g( p" k
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a* o( Z4 ~+ P+ v5 A
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
* G! z8 } P! O `> >1 k. D9 ^1 E3 w: y+ i. g1 Y* r
> > Compassionate Leave. ~0 n' I4 t6 G1 I) D
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
7 J: s' v4 _" ]> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
7 R. |5 i2 ~$ G- |0 L9 ~> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
; P0 }8 D- o- A> > employees attend to the arrangements.
' G8 y" u6 c: u: k9 u7 v, b5 W> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
2 z% q1 w' F, C( }> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the+ P; q3 p$ Q& i/ K
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work! ? h! T* \1 C
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
% B; {$ ^2 b3 |: U. R> > hour early./ \$ \0 ~7 c1 ?6 k4 @6 x @ E" H1 n
> >/ E+ ]! d b* q: u0 h6 }
> > Toilet Use
" ?# P% I0 D1 f4 L> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the! N& A2 J3 P( h9 I: r: a$ z @8 |
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
i2 |; [' i- Q- @, B! @7 P> > in the cubicles.
, \0 f$ P9 C& o9 h> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will: ?- h6 ^4 B n- o% C0 A. W
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle; k5 L4 _+ H N0 f* }) m% ^8 H
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
& G" X: e" S6 L% J S! r; h% L> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be- c, k6 w6 f+ F2 c
> > posted on the company notice board under the, W6 k6 L1 Z3 A
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
; H" z4 V) n3 Q" Q# ]2 g" x. u> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be, H7 w" I& f7 X- J) c7 j
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
! F4 |; O2 G. a* I4 F% H/ f> > policy.5 J: Q8 Z& r& B
> >3 K2 y* X# |, e. z; w* `
> > Lunch Break* [- O6 [4 A* s L: {0 P% ^
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they0 j# r+ ]8 U9 ?7 F# r, j
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.6 ~- ?. C- d; c, j7 S& T) K
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to4 k' g5 Z7 S, i5 ]' p# F
> > maintain their average figure.* j2 l; D+ N |0 k
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time% @. s" u! s1 E/ t
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
* l! F( D5 n% Y+ c: |> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are$ z* p4 M5 Z, T+ u+ V i/ D
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
9 v! x2 W, V. X$ m0 L n H) g: x> > employment experience.
* ?$ _: Y3 T/ u3 G% r+ W# T> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,0 z$ I; I$ F# p3 }: K' }6 t6 r
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
, J# j) `' Z' D% \# a0 E> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be! q" V4 y+ y3 ]5 B$ W4 U( a, l; v
> > directed elsewhere. |
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