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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
& D% ^) H1 A& G1 c6 Z: U6 ]4 Q> > Effective January 20076 [- w9 M0 q2 r8 b7 n. i
> ># I: E! Y2 X1 J [% N9 k2 A
> > Dress Code
' E- j N) Q6 Y> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
) ^5 M; r$ ]1 O+ N. x* z6 O> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
4 g" d. [6 Z- F& ^: N, |9 J> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
7 B w6 L$ K4 i. Q5 k> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not! T8 \9 G$ s9 W; [
> > need a pay raise.0 P- b" D! H* m
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
6 @" D5 K* @9 F, v3 S7 E1 x> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer0 Q4 E i' [7 w5 S6 U. @
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
4 c5 {8 D* w4 y. V> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you C9 G* U0 G% Y; h: t* y: B- J: t1 f
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
( O& V8 W2 | Q) H5 p! e> > raise.
0 f0 E. `" F& D7 T> >
5 L4 @- W9 ^+ r5 [: o6 O1 p6 c> > Sick Days
5 ^6 F- V" G4 R' g6 ^0 D> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as7 g1 c$ t+ u7 S6 Q0 X% {: L! ^ @. C
> > proof of sickness. W9 ~/ `3 v0 r
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
1 w8 L% {: S6 z> > to come to work.
" m/ o$ C7 G$ l; ~$ \/ g# M> >
6 b9 `. Y6 s$ V6 Y! a> > Holiday Days
9 [% ~0 j3 H8 m+ n& P1 o> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
K" `, {! P6 {; n9 @6 N) [8 b' x> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.: s% p1 j, i, U+ Z( V* B+ I: h* G
> >
0 g+ {1 X% }- u4 }+ |> > Compassionate Leave
8 y+ z' M) M- t, J+ W6 u> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing! I9 i3 k9 K6 g4 V9 P
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-/ k: ~. [6 i$ D4 P
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
$ k& u; _/ P4 c4 J! l$ ~> > employees attend to the arrangements.! \/ r) y8 \5 `$ m3 i7 e
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is k2 {! q0 t% ~. T4 b j
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
4 {2 V ]) F! {% B> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
) l5 N# ]! j1 K- A% F$ {1 X+ c4 {> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
: h( l X( w- U& R+ e> > hour early.
& |: _1 l7 A' W$ |* b% w2 |> >
7 C3 H6 H0 [) }4 F! w8 ], d* t> > Toilet Use8 k$ I M0 \; q$ r+ f
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the G0 A/ x4 U4 b3 t: ^4 A# w
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit; u* S! r9 g% J4 k% F- Q1 }
> > in the cubicles.+ A4 ?: Y% D6 `. o
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will# s! Y( L7 p# z& A) U# O# v
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle% Y% S+ r2 |' _/ @6 x' H4 h
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.; v6 O$ S( d* N+ | h |
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
6 b7 x# f9 ~7 z k# t5 E> > posted on the company notice board under the4 I7 D3 h. H- y9 X6 |1 b9 i/ z
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
8 o1 ~1 m* c2 J+ }3 J> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
. ~, K7 O. r" [" Z; x4 V2 k( V> > sanctioned under the company's mental health) K% H1 X3 R% C0 ~1 R/ ]9 }
> > policy.( _6 q7 C. y( Z/ g8 Y. H
> >
, P% f. m3 y- H8 u> > Lunch Break4 Q* Z0 B" m0 D5 T J
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
0 H( k; r( ]4 H* J> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.+ b; p p# t3 \, m. u
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to \ Y' P/ h0 z
> > maintain their average figure.
; V! S8 y+ Q, [6 z3 u1 O* n+ [> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
( M) X& P/ d; i0 y4 ]; `( {> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
* U2 w& S# }7 [1 a> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
9 ?3 c" t7 d2 @1 u> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive! p) x4 U' m$ f( W0 {' ~& c6 P
> > employment experience.& M6 N4 c4 |1 t# j( i/ t) d4 q7 r
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
) L! A/ K+ w$ }> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,. H! K# V) s S# i: n
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
9 x5 J6 E* f- n* g; s7 [> > directed elsewhere. |
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