|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:6 b" k8 x& W9 _. s
> > Effective January 2007
6 I6 g5 {( @3 L% C( y> >
* \/ B: X0 \4 W+ w; F- a> > Dress Code
- G/ A1 d, `6 V# k0 v> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
# P! g o' V( B+ X1 L: i6 M> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
6 I L2 S. n% `> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume) I2 a. b: s( M6 x. L& N1 v5 p0 ^) W
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
! n+ D& v- n( y, @> > need a pay raise., Z+ C+ @9 z4 W1 R' u# ]
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage$ c' k9 f* ]+ V" {& B+ g- K
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
% z; t+ Z+ q2 O, f6 l> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.+ j; U! b9 k( o+ _ n
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
0 e& Q" O9 {4 ]' X) }> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
( N: L8 K4 i: x! x: m) J> > raise.6 X$ @8 T% F @$ Z6 w% { u
> >, ]- [% j& X& |/ m2 y/ Z
> > Sick Days6 ^- J( w8 b& K% h' w. [
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
( }0 Y- Q6 T- b: t: U8 j> > proof of sickness.2 R+ H4 @8 _. v8 S) O V9 W" ]8 E& \
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able% O0 Q L: U5 c8 n& W
> > to come to work.
' B- |7 `: N7 `2 m$ I" j> >
+ s2 H' O, c$ F" t2 R> > Holiday Days) O7 d) A* I4 y
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
, c* {) H6 j" c> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
- L; j3 M: o/ q$ Q> >- L$ n5 D8 r5 T. v
> > Compassionate Leave
y3 I2 R, ~ k: b. [> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing+ ~6 f" O- O$ h- k8 F4 l. p2 l
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-- t! n. _* \1 k7 o6 _* v+ {. L
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
- G( Z Z* j% {3 @> > employees attend to the arrangements. Q$ E7 |8 J7 ^% [6 q* @$ T
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
5 ? ^: {8 i( w7 V1 [# j B> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
9 L# f& u( ^5 M2 l' D- N> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
+ o- o$ s$ e* s+ C% ~> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
' r1 T6 K# s% K' O0 i2 P1 i> > hour early.
; o9 D8 Q# c1 W8 } z> >+ |" Z1 c0 L9 V# o
> > Toilet Use
* y5 Y$ I4 ?: I$ T- s> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
( H& e0 [0 j) n' {> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit5 x9 Y6 |- [0 [5 w4 K- ~/ V/ N
> > in the cubicles.
/ ?2 y, i5 K' P! k1 C> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will* Z) j6 ]; |& ?1 k. t- X$ P
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
, t) N9 o0 P0 Q' I0 V6 d+ A> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.% i1 D- G9 }8 M. l2 B+ ^+ _
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
6 A: X8 ]. F8 }8 m8 a7 `> > posted on the company notice board under the
4 y, R2 b2 v# L, w, r> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
7 e9 T+ _" g; a4 |> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be9 {* y* \7 O8 S7 p
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
* g: P* v" e8 n" S& Z> > policy." b* _. ?- U/ [+ r4 q
> >0 c3 z' F6 u) G9 P( n
> > Lunch Break* U' w; O% n, O& _& H
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
7 r/ ?! c! f% w$ I/ G( L& L> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
( M) k2 o, r2 L5 R2 {> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
! g3 S. \+ R5 I1 V* D> > maintain their average figure.
+ r; e) \% `/ T% G2 b1 l* X> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
7 |1 C9 T3 j2 X6 w. q, c& h> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.4 R( @& N; m% p& ^: h/ d! v
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
! M" J$ s9 M2 m; |0 X: R> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive( [! {! g+ _, v, e7 W- k8 W
> > employment experience.
7 |* s5 b [! _* t: V> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
1 m; ~+ \! @2 Z C7 i% S1 T> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
5 D$ v8 X3 |+ T% U( s& O* k$ d$ N; `> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
1 J' T S& P: ]> > directed elsewhere. |
|
