|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:
* i' p" {/ |, h> > Effective January 2007
, u6 s9 I, p0 r+ k/ H3 ]& T> >
6 I! O2 W y a- v2 S; t% n- \& J> > Dress Code% [' o4 k% c: b. @% W
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed( r& P- f0 X' c; t! X& l3 v
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
5 U* l: A8 e4 n( b> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
2 D, n4 |5 ~# A/ H f> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
) D+ [" B# x# Z/ e> > need a pay raise.6 L6 }5 B X5 w( I! Q
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage g2 \! b# f8 M
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer' x$ k' ], H. _2 G
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise., T$ O6 h# q) ~ P
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you) p7 X& x2 n. l* Z9 P( @, \+ `
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay7 j7 o+ P. }, V3 a% X
> > raise.' E0 z% X! T4 r' v+ \; V" m# \
> >" B. ]/ P/ H6 k& E
> > Sick Days0 L7 F `* F1 `( ^- Q
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as0 }7 j5 w" k- ~4 V7 d+ r# [8 s
> > proof of sickness.
% D2 J' P8 p; |( J> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able/ y6 x( R2 ~, q
> > to come to work.
% F/ |0 O& @6 Y, R8 F> >- o3 M0 o. u' d9 {
> > Holiday Days8 j" @. p" ^, L) e1 N9 P
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
2 B" D+ Z5 R0 M2 z3 {/ b> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
# v" S9 J" u( L& M> >
. j, j+ \& y8 l8 ^1 g> > Compassionate Leave
3 _9 A2 u5 Y$ R% m5 L> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing: G6 n% [6 u. O, m; Y. Z+ W
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
! O7 \. }. G4 X- i8 n9 B+ f> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-& a' X( P: Z3 J7 X/ G- V! G
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
( X3 f* O' w- q8 T' `) s8 \> > In rare cases where employee involvement is# u" @4 K; m6 c
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
! i4 G6 f5 N! x# b( |4 d- ]8 x5 h1 y> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work* x* ~1 ?- W9 k5 @
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one( v$ G% {- U9 n: C# U* y$ c, ?
> > hour early.
6 W' C& ?0 w0 S/ B. c> >) I4 E+ Q/ K& d3 @# F _
> > Toilet Use t* C, Y/ S2 r! K. C/ @7 D
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the! @! [: u; y( C' |. c; i" X. i
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
6 F | V3 x ]8 g> > in the cubicles.: j- n/ b! @3 }5 f! L/ u
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will5 F2 t5 k8 w, o
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle8 t; w* w- T( P- T- s
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.4 M0 i+ y1 b- w( A+ X. U, P
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
% H, `6 K$ [) z U: w: O! K) V4 \> > posted on the company notice board under the
& H' g; c+ ]" B# |3 n8 e! H! L> > "Chronic Offenders" category.1 G8 v, ^0 H3 P5 h
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be5 r, ^$ H' H# a
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
' h6 r$ [: m9 U8 s+ E0 s> > policy.
$ _% x0 K+ c, y5 c5 V* U$ w& w1 c> >
' i. I- N8 g i5 |7 m2 W/ x> > Lunch Break
& Y! e3 i! [5 v' l9 }) E" k5 O> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
8 O/ g5 E8 H+ X- A' C7 b> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.* v1 ~( O# R& q# p9 }1 \( \6 o
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
n- q. R+ [; P, y> > maintain their average figure.
6 l7 ?* q* C. Z, @0 |' r> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
' w8 e5 Z' l( T4 s- y: W' b> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.3 `+ w4 a& ]' Y" f% B$ g. }
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
{) Q Q- _3 H9 E> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive' @1 y" o. o1 Y9 _( l! j2 H
> > employment experience.
7 Z/ {/ i# r, b: g P* s4 S> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
{9 P/ w! w2 Q> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
2 [5 i8 M8 I2 m> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
9 N5 J6 M# v1 ?7 T+ ^+ e> > directed elsewhere. |
|
