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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:3 a8 U, }" D) B# c
> > Effective January 2007
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> > Dress Code5 x! U, l! S+ `: N
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed* M2 L! g5 b; h# R" x) \/ \
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing0 x9 b( v9 B* x2 m$ a" X+ S
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume" v# A$ S9 g4 `. e6 _6 C
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
0 g3 g* j# D$ ^$ t8 ?> > need a pay raise.% }8 |, z& Z* o m+ e
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage# g1 e1 X4 b3 |. y
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
, n: ]: S$ P, U> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.' J6 [( F& K+ L
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
W0 ]2 W9 n7 ~6 O! ~, _> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
" l- x* m- J/ u> > raise.% P% p- c8 M2 q: ]* u0 r+ q3 D
> >
5 K. E! B5 `+ R }> > Sick Days$ B |; ~9 Q. x0 |+ A
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
8 I. L9 G3 w7 [> > proof of sickness.% u W8 t' O" h) ~
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
: t! ]! [) W% ?1 Z6 Z# E0 @> > to come to work.
0 t* l" [ J, n1 R> >
7 `6 |, p7 E1 V% k# v> > Holiday Days
3 G9 a) {5 e0 C/ J" Q% j> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a. f5 v: @0 E+ D& z9 |
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Q: U K6 _/ `7 i; A6 |" T> >! z5 b% e3 h8 x& B& C& W: Z
> > Compassionate Leave
; M7 e: B# `9 A$ A; P5 w5 [0 I! ?> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
7 y* U5 A. _4 n s0 n: x: h+ L# _6 K> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
/ Z6 l/ L; _- J) T: F> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
$ Y3 `# A* a, H: h8 B" ?& `> > employees attend to the arrangements., M1 ]" O! ^5 ?1 q7 |
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is; K! @) q$ {, }$ L& ?+ ]# S6 K3 U
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the( `$ W9 r5 `/ i1 D3 S! Y$ {
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
4 \- k8 k6 M2 X> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
' g. Z; l& ^" c% \* w$ n> > hour early.3 A) m. V' y/ A
> >
7 N! t5 g+ X0 ~: N+ ^ i* `> > Toilet Use# S6 ?2 t/ f' S% d8 x3 z- l
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
% R! G0 h; l4 F [0 j# b> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit9 a7 P' w& @1 s" Z i9 W# y
> > in the cubicles.
+ D7 |, | ]8 Y> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will2 q6 e b5 B' N8 G* z; p- ~
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
) S l' n8 D4 S0 s> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
+ A. Y0 [( _7 A/ B6 o z> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
4 ?2 Z4 Z1 f+ I. p( }5 D> > posted on the company notice board under the w7 @; k, W9 I
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.. r4 s# d+ l: [7 ?: f" U* [ |
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be! c8 u5 c. s% x& J
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health% j1 x4 g; t+ Y& B
> > policy.. a2 A) ^. l* Z$ C$ \4 Y
> >1 K0 T& U h. U' f
> > Lunch Break
+ K- S1 n* S# @5 T> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
' A9 v m' Y8 q/ {> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
0 d' G3 }3 o3 C2 H5 L6 v- j% ^5 \> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to/ y. V: T( y, P1 g7 J9 \+ a
> > maintain their average figure.( O$ ~! d2 V* R# V
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time7 x# N/ n# g6 t- e; g
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast., D2 l9 d! X, I( @1 k' x1 s
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are& I4 V3 g) C1 S5 o0 o
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive$ K2 ~ N* `" L; r4 l9 w; o
> > employment experience.
" u, S5 F! o/ v x: ], y> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,/ S3 L' n' k/ K# D# c) R7 ?% {1 l, @
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,2 _! T% d& Y; ]( X+ k
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be* x- {; n" ]/ P8 J. ~ t, B
> > directed elsewhere. |
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