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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
1 A P, k$ ?2 Q% Q0 W> > Effective January 2007& U' S3 F5 Q0 H# ]2 w P
> >
' E0 C" ]: @3 }7 I" }( A j> > Dress Code
8 @, l. I7 p. A! c- X0 \> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed1 K2 u5 r( q; V, `0 r1 C' u& s7 w9 F
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
4 m1 U1 F1 H& W> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume' X# p( v! I9 a: E; K! E2 S$ J" g
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
: ^5 Q& w4 f1 U% K> > need a pay raise.; O% N7 K/ r. d& I
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
. u6 t2 }) t3 Q3 Y7 ]' }> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
1 d# N1 i: L5 S$ V9 d- g& Z! {0 o0 s> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
& n* v3 S1 W% a% n4 t2 B7 M7 X4 n> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
- c, t7 E2 u+ m: U7 f> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
+ Q/ L+ F, h% p5 }- o( m> > raise.
7 t% x0 s8 A# V2 B3 I> >' p# N/ H* }& v
> > Sick Days# |4 I/ y. V; \0 N% ?; k
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as. N& @' t9 I% {
> > proof of sickness.
: f) B5 x2 f% T0 Q4 C6 z8 V> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
5 e5 \$ V/ G; N* F> > to come to work.# Z* g) s, v+ H$ \* r
> >1 N1 i9 M" w8 ~: ^
> > Holiday Days" J; v- ]: Q- n! P
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a* f1 P. t7 A) c/ T7 t' p) H
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.4 m. u1 }9 Z" C4 g2 w, |; |
> >( A/ n2 i. V9 M, m1 P
> > Compassionate Leave# x0 I) S4 d( j8 n" m
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
; @+ i% p- f5 W& p5 g> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
( V4 U8 u7 W- G> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-2 n8 @8 V7 B, c7 B) y. @6 U
> > employees attend to the arrangements.3 P4 Z6 n$ v' }! l
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is& ~* g) H) a2 y. ]! C0 U" a$ a: ~1 E
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
% e6 [7 x9 v6 V- O# c# x! ?> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work) m* D D' m2 \0 V$ s/ Z
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one# ^* y( |) v$ `1 F5 A( ]* x$ d6 X
> > hour early.
5 T/ S+ H9 C" |: m- _2 y8 j; {> >
M( t6 _; [5 _: Z> > Toilet Use
. d) E( O. t2 H* L% u- L> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the A5 H" c* ?9 Z" [' i4 S6 s" n
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit# Z* ?- R) s6 F. @/ ^
> > in the cubicles.+ o) Z; w/ _2 w6 h
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will) b$ m* N! z6 l0 W! ^
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle4 Y$ M* _8 `0 a, f5 l" a, ~
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
& }9 }( e8 a, s' y& B, a% t> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be0 M( ]* z: }# O+ _) ~
> > posted on the company notice board under the
G8 e" M8 D' m; k2 {; J6 I# X> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
, e0 T9 f% e' D5 a> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be$ l( C/ x8 v+ g; v
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health3 {: p- X6 f0 R! {3 N: N
> > policy.
* [1 g, A% M8 m# g3 m7 M> >1 O l& \7 |3 r t( l, g
> > Lunch Break
i) U$ K# M( G/ ^3 `& s- @> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they* q& r. R+ R8 \9 k" |
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
* c+ d9 y$ I+ Q, Y' ~> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
4 J- o% f' a9 J" B. Q> > maintain their average figure.
) x" y: A& t! V2 q4 c4 e4 z3 D$ h$ M> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
7 g; [* Z' G' }' c8 s6 p7 x> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
2 } q# k8 i6 R$ J3 {6 f> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are* l# ?" y3 r& R' c2 n# Y! _
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
# @+ D' `3 b9 Y0 b' y3 B/ Y" r> > employment experience.9 R0 _/ v( ] B3 ^( J7 Z
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints," @" }: z, S7 J$ }- q
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,% W5 H1 ~4 X) y/ ]
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
" x+ O1 q! \0 l a: F: K4 V> > directed elsewhere. |
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