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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:3 q! `: L: `$ t e% K9 Y5 i. O
> > Effective January 2007
0 D0 e6 y. h/ H$ S> >
7 R, x' h7 o& ?5 L5 @) W; n> > Dress Code
8 |# ^% {/ ^9 E0 S i, Q8 O, b> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed1 l% J' U' K0 T& Y4 ~$ r+ c9 D
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing7 { s* K {! q5 p2 T
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume9 B% c2 j5 Y+ C8 Y
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not Q0 i. C7 ]/ P1 x0 d
> > need a pay raise.& s. S7 Q6 W2 R0 K6 N
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
3 ^; v3 q3 e& N> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
5 [, b9 l& ~% f5 z9 X> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise." L: k% e& X4 I$ C1 T6 u" ]
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you8 K. f9 C- h/ p
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay/ m8 G2 Z% Q( F" ?; N g
> > raise. @. g, h' B ?$ c, w
> >, l: A( C3 q+ E, @. Y; u& o8 k" j
> > Sick Days+ B0 h& a3 @+ Z% I9 W: q: M
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as7 Y% E( M( ^4 s/ {3 v) l
> > proof of sickness.: _. W' E1 T* u, i: i! D
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
) P* a) w/ ?1 Q( M> > to come to work.
% G3 V5 ]% D3 U2 i> >
1 h3 i7 @6 b3 z3 T> > Holiday Days
! Z6 b B3 J# U6 u> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a5 F# T+ R7 u2 {1 ?5 B5 D
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
5 Z0 X2 j. x. K( P> >
+ X8 d: g) f8 g( {8 u2 N> > Compassionate Leave
. c0 Q) W1 o; c" R: m6 k> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing) d5 E# x1 U3 F+ @: k
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-7 W5 H; ~) r3 }6 ~: d- Y" f U/ ?) t
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
) j: @% j: B; [> > employees attend to the arrangements.% l" `$ I: } ^4 ~/ S* }: q
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is' n2 D8 ~! m7 `( l4 |( f
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the' |; I% v/ D+ m9 ?- `9 [
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
' L; ^7 o# s) f. p" H> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one4 k Q5 V/ E3 r2 z
> > hour early.6 _* M' }& i( g9 g! ?
> >
4 T5 v _/ h$ H9 i' Z8 ?* W7 f3 W/ s> > Toilet Use$ s/ h+ O4 P! O/ F# W; U
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the7 O6 m& `: x( t# V5 A7 S' c
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit) \6 o) T0 v1 \" m% @9 f
> > in the cubicles.
8 J- s+ M' e0 o> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will& q' y# W9 S& {7 _
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle+ \6 X. Q1 `4 }* u8 j
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.7 v. V* c1 |" B& O6 s
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
! J4 ?/ O4 X6 z+ N' F1 z# j> > posted on the company notice board under the
4 m* X) Y; y5 m o8 `( `> > "Chronic Offenders" category.: H% b! z4 U* o5 X$ H' R$ T. E3 n
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be9 d* [" o. a$ e- _ I
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health" m" z4 _) Z2 n6 g9 u9 g
> > policy.
7 N! S/ \( u1 Y9 n9 |% I> >' ?6 _ N- u r5 T2 Q
> > Lunch Break
% X# o' J$ d/ `. l8 t, w> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they; a, N q7 r) Q5 r) {, N
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.5 @* s2 E7 L- ?, ?: S
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
: @! X; k1 g4 D b> > maintain their average figure.: S9 G P8 G t; _/ J6 g! w
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time! j, R& c7 n G* z
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
3 g$ H) ]* _% K M6 t; W> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are+ _5 C( Q; n3 ^ ^
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
2 W# g; y( g1 z6 J* l> > employment experience.
- u3 w' L6 i$ }( F: Y> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
8 c# h' l B6 o8 @& @> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
; {7 o/ m+ V, j4 c> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
+ k' \3 `% f, u: r( {0 \> > directed elsewhere. |
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