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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
5 t( T0 y& a4 ~* t& k8 q( T. x> > Effective January 2007
* E% S( s/ U! x8 z- X: m> >% N) n8 V) G# @' g2 e/ [3 _ Y
> > Dress Code0 \( Y/ _3 H) Z" o
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed; X& B, Z) K: C# v
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
7 C3 ?2 b! t. H6 {> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
3 A( R8 @+ B9 Q% Z7 {> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not3 t. V. ?5 {! `$ o8 k, l
> > need a pay raise.$ }6 ~7 p; Q+ l$ i+ U& f# y
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
K* l. y+ J2 k, H9 I> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
( Q$ j ?8 p# k* L+ s- r3 G> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
' b# C7 H+ I; W+ |$ G> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
2 [4 ^3 L# n" T8 U9 w- r! H> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay1 m: M [+ o5 v y# M" m7 g
> > raise.
% o, G# f" h- o$ v, g2 ~4 v> >6 `+ N+ Z& \- ?1 e: ]7 ^; j. K/ d
> > Sick Days
3 p: B9 _0 r% w/ x! A. S' H5 u> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as5 ]# ]+ R8 g, K4 Q. d
> > proof of sickness.
. Y+ T$ T" X, r' |2 B! _' Y7 h> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able" |# y# a7 x- j$ q1 K0 w# O. F
> > to come to work.* D2 X, X/ q; @5 l) B
> >
3 Z( _( _ f0 Y% x/ o/ |/ k9 A> > Holiday Days
* c7 L, W3 f C: F% u> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
/ @4 \$ _6 }) E8 Q> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.2 _! ^. w+ h6 Y0 |3 o0 L
> >" U, w2 g) ~6 k) ~2 I' X
> > Compassionate Leave# q- V; S- q' r( j9 h9 F
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing: z; N4 K7 u1 O3 g( m3 @) L) j
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
, n( Y5 H+ n1 @, z, Z> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
- h. _' q) ? l: @* y$ L9 M> > employees attend to the arrangements./ e8 j/ g5 T4 ?: L u
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is& P3 A" h0 u: j, Q; e- v# S! C& g8 E
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the: U$ S" p* T$ v- |* q0 Z) y: K
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work$ B6 [5 j* L7 x" m+ j! A' q$ ]
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
5 p- \. i/ I. F9 e$ H> > hour early.
* j! {# L7 p5 s, K' ^" Q) E1 j> >( q& M7 ]% Q% t# e! c# \( z) o
> > Toilet Use: `, w8 ~+ T. l, ~0 @
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
6 _9 X5 Q6 z( g7 O& A! N$ {> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit* n+ z2 ], ~$ z2 ?# K) V
> > in the cubicles.3 _9 w0 {* k6 h% }- [1 H$ N( I3 ~
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
. P! h" O; J) q( O1 c6 `> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
# g8 `: e9 L( y' y7 e, a0 V> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.' P. l D& ?) q, @# ]
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
+ F( ?- A# o& G& I> > posted on the company notice board under the! g/ O2 [; n6 S" \
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.; y. \$ b7 w" t
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
0 B* i) u. I+ _' {& R2 O; C* f) K> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
' V' v6 _7 o: |/ r9 ^$ E. h> > policy.
, J( C* A3 ?. e% G: [& A> >0 v J8 R* @6 z$ V; q
> > Lunch Break W* ~" |2 ]7 D+ w
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
' ?# @/ g! j S; q* n# b) o) D> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.& |; c& a; C7 p0 `( \* h. f
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to# k0 U- r9 R7 B
> > maintain their average figure.
; \/ n/ i6 q& [6 C m> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time' l/ B" f' k; r: W. e
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
{) R2 l) g+ \- T5 {. }* r> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are; E5 ~; ]2 T* _' O5 O1 R+ L
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive( H( T7 Y {2 y; d: r9 K# R. B
> > employment experience.6 n: y4 v0 J, q" s0 _ D) h
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
1 z9 h" t, H) g7 @, z3 u> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
. W- O- K5 C0 j, {> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
& h4 G3 b( v9 _6 n# @+ X( Z( A) {> > directed elsewhere. |
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