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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
0 b W$ v* [0 m3 M0 a, {! m> > Effective January 2007
+ o1 ^8 U9 O, A; ]) P> >* b. I( c1 f" \8 L* b
> > Dress Code
# C: |9 r; d6 M" e/ M> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
, p, G9 \- c- U% T& w> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
, M" ~& g) _" F) y0 U9 R) E> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
3 U' A7 @3 X7 P( b) l5 F- x> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not$ U/ g @7 _& u2 f8 n
> > need a pay raise.
" d' k6 S4 t% v0 n- I2 N> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
7 R6 I. [$ N( V, p. i9 a2 u6 m> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer5 s' B4 r' E$ i2 V7 X) L% {( V! J
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
) f I0 p- h( d& V. [> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you7 e7 W5 @! f' W% H% K' [
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
/ g1 O+ f0 p* E> > raise.3 @1 I0 h1 L5 a; W* N& p
> >
9 i1 w5 R$ u: Y( m6 t> > Sick Days7 C, F4 c: r2 v1 G
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as/ w6 B" C3 H- f) H6 v' e( n
> > proof of sickness.. F _3 N2 w1 t( \- F1 w9 }
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able9 D, Q8 N* r4 r
> > to come to work.
/ Z3 H; O R' q' b+ E> >
% l; R) M' b1 H- M> > Holiday Days" f6 C% K3 v* K/ ~2 y) d2 s0 T) \
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a& W3 A8 S2 Q& M
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
- h& n! s4 I- J! x. |9 Y- u3 n7 n- k( F> >
3 h" R3 n& X2 v9 d& z> > Compassionate Leave
# D! y$ `3 o, F# U: w9 h6 Z> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
5 U4 F1 i( s0 S" h5 _ p! Q/ J: G3 [> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
& D# u/ I$ A3 |; ]' U: z* v0 H> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-3 b6 g! r+ q H3 r
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
) {! B' F" Y1 h3 g( Y$ Q5 R> > In rare cases where employee involvement is' U* j% C) D8 ^" Z& C
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the- l: w- Q' ^! l3 y/ \8 i( v
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work) b! F! L- H( n- B' G4 q: C0 Q7 G8 N# f
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one$ m8 H" ~& L7 ?6 t
> > hour early.
; J- t- E. H# |6 m" N+ B> >% L ~( L( W" {. Q
> > Toilet Use
# N+ i' |/ H, x# H# j2 c> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the3 S1 ~5 B# O" p, o. T' L: c
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
# J6 @! ]0 K+ S& W, w1 I> > in the cubicles.( D4 J9 m! ~9 E' a& r
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
( d$ ]- Z: l+ B- U2 v> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
S" {# a* w9 m3 D9 ^+ a# Q! e> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
5 ?5 h! j: ^/ _+ ?7 ^7 Q> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
, d; N# |+ B4 h- b e> > posted on the company notice board under the8 w" Y Z. [! J; Z
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
: k* V. c# V: @! w# E& O* ]> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be" ~. E! x0 c9 f0 R F' f
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health+ K) y9 Z3 K: O$ i3 Z
> > policy.' ]3 d! M5 T) D5 e0 i) ?! r! B
> >
" L7 G/ S! s; g1 c3 {2 o> > Lunch Break( r; u9 s" M8 p4 t! O8 A3 \
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they* E3 w9 x! F" a( ^: @- |. `8 l' C$ v
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.( s+ c4 m _& { T E$ h
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to7 {& H+ `( H& n9 S/ w
> > maintain their average figure.
7 W7 k1 H7 Y5 F9 P> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time! o$ G( j& o3 z
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.9 d3 L: M" S; ^( Y! L* b4 E" ?
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
& x- x2 @/ \. \/ ?8 v' r; b D; C> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
7 o+ y' E( w5 q# B, M> > employment experience.3 O) Y3 |( d% n9 P, S$ v% q& d
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
2 `' s/ ]7 y t1 V> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
; }% V" M m) d2 O+ f5 r6 s> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be, L& u: `% U' t$ E( M' ]
> > directed elsewhere. |
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