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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:: ]- q) E3 L+ M
> > Effective January 2007& _- y, w, {) e: N; t( r
> >7 j0 _( D5 y$ E$ h6 \
> > Dress Code+ E8 i4 W) b+ Q% X# {3 j
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed9 G: m9 i3 M% T; }6 ]: i
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing% S. z; B2 O4 O
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume8 Y, h3 C# \1 M; C9 S$ r# L
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
6 l ~6 s4 {9 J3 }> > need a pay raise.
+ D3 ~5 t6 B* H- g2 L> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
2 {" q# T9 r4 x" T( c> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
1 a$ ~" a. C! L> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
) O( c3 S5 `" a$ \- u& J> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
+ t ^& J0 A' f& T3 S> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
: K8 v0 }6 R* j9 O, e> > raise.
: j! C; e% G! x) y3 N> >
7 v+ ], p; [' ^8 E1 A, b/ k/ P> > Sick Days# _+ V5 \# i5 E, Q/ n) |
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as& Y; i( i: T0 t& C. a- Y
> > proof of sickness.) y2 @6 K; b/ X, R4 O- z
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
! ^3 g6 G0 Y L N& I8 V7 `> > to come to work. ]' A9 `6 Q5 V( r a7 T
> >) q6 K' L% \& j' I7 i
> > Holiday Days+ \7 @4 J* e$ H
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
: Z- D, }: m6 B> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
) S; H O Y7 u; ]> >* z3 X& O4 O2 m& c2 u0 c5 J" `
> > Compassionate Leave
0 ~! N0 W- x4 s; ?3 N* b9 \& ^- U> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
% O! @0 B. b6 ^2 ^. d* I. I2 Y> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
5 C' Z& j( F% z) M> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-0 o, B# v* ]0 ^0 j# i9 d
> > employees attend to the arrangements., d% ^' F8 w, N# P- w2 g
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
- x1 h1 Z# w! o( Y9 S% F> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the6 L8 |& }' m! i
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work* m8 N* a& f) ~2 H' d
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one# n: A% ~/ C5 Y2 b& a8 [; V4 R' G
> > hour early./ P2 r3 Y2 _' D1 R# z
> >
. ?8 w- p5 M3 }, E# Z> > Toilet Use# a. p' p: N3 B5 K" W8 m- `2 e
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
* G. S1 c3 K" T3 V> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
# k* v. ~* Y( ^> > in the cubicles.9 V- ~3 ?4 g" t0 d
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
. b( T$ ]( M4 V! N7 f; W6 Y, V> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
Z1 G6 T# k0 {4 h5 T+ O* X) [" p' n/ ~> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.- N! z/ t) I, j t( r+ \ C% |6 _
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be9 {; e: ]8 E* G* {! U7 e
> > posted on the company notice board under the
^1 E" p! ~8 N; D> > "Chronic Offenders" category.$ u9 y$ W; z/ J8 l$ u4 a
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
) W v! y8 f8 T> > sanctioned under the company's mental health$ }+ d6 C; T3 j" b3 h8 B
> > policy.
" y, c& W# F: J$ ]9 Z> >* |" s f* Y- V4 E8 R
> > Lunch Break
3 d4 ?+ R1 Z: Y; l: H> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
; A6 x! J. Z! A! E& |> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
3 k" r2 ]! J. T$ w: G% `> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to% N! d' Y! j* X; u
> > maintain their average figure.7 R0 G i5 Z. m2 f
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
) `: N/ Z, w6 A+ [6 F* B4 y9 O4 K- f> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.. l3 v- [9 u! q3 J* j" |6 [4 H2 L4 k
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
" P; |5 K: K1 j/ n1 ~6 `3 }) f2 \4 _> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
+ o& q( P8 g, P/ F" h> > employment experience.
( e) y. X" J! ~+ |8 A> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
; o, p6 A; c& V% n7 U G4 H( @> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
3 ?, ^2 {* \/ \* P0 p> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
3 t6 O9 ~5 K& {; r9 q0 u$ e> > directed elsewhere. |
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