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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
0 X/ O$ ` c& t> > Effective January 20075 V6 d) U) {- X7 ~9 v7 ^+ J" f! G
> >
# n9 r- n* [/ l' [> > Dress Code, ~& w' t) Y7 q: O+ }; u
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed" Q( k1 n/ h7 l1 I3 J7 q2 w* p
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing% y8 }( L, w g
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume3 V4 u$ [6 e! h6 S
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not8 a: z9 `$ K4 t$ T
> > need a pay raise.6 g1 P& \: W8 E$ s- N; D
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage2 Q' v9 R& V0 D
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer( ]: l# B u( ]; U7 Q2 e/ H
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
$ b+ b. G& N2 M! N7 {4 o/ r5 X* @" y> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
* L4 ~) q4 D' G9 `" M> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay% m# Y. u/ _* W: }6 D! `
> > raise.+ j n! j4 w! a3 T9 m
> >- a2 V; Q$ ^2 b6 S' n: {5 i
> > Sick Days/ e: V% v" n4 C3 o j* V) Y1 @1 @
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as. }9 F& H. F! ^( u/ }# J, z
> > proof of sickness.
- M: {% N; a8 B; Q3 y/ {" T& D> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able9 ^3 y3 n) v% @5 Q2 o1 T
> > to come to work.% L8 N' N8 k u& d; a' J
> >
$ Y: e7 E0 L/ z" D* z! D) `* g, Y3 ?> > Holiday Days
" B M& E6 a7 I2 \* }/ ]> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
% F& m7 H4 ^8 N: A0 Y> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
# o p- J3 A# ]- U9 b5 o> >+ B3 i$ [2 l _3 Q
> > Compassionate Leave
6 ]* I% w+ _6 L- N6 L8 o( I> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing8 T, k% l3 j* D* U& I5 l
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
" ~8 B& B$ \2 f' t& p l& ?> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-0 |$ ?3 H# S: ^- r
> > employees attend to the arrangements.1 H/ \4 Y) u/ ?- N
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is! `- r5 ^3 Z( s* b
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
3 |- W; L' W$ m ~3 a: o> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work& [; r% H1 O' t$ b- J( M2 L% m
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one B+ v5 f5 T; h. P
> > hour early.
& |2 }+ N7 K8 `> >
/ Q3 {! p6 a3 ]/ k4 F( M0 E> > Toilet Use) l' _8 L* d: u# F$ _ J; m
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
9 P: j/ H& e% E. x9 } |> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
$ d; O7 S! N. _. u) ]> > in the cubicles.$ u; Q9 s5 r; ~
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
; H4 D# i5 z+ z+ p> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
+ F/ h Q$ p5 r( ]) C> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.# u6 q0 |# e, C% z; n$ K
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be3 g, ?) u# B, E/ h0 \+ {. Q
> > posted on the company notice board under the
8 X3 o# M# k% a( E7 k> > "Chronic Offenders" category. K# w: C; c/ ~) d6 B
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
6 Z1 d4 v& t% B% `& B' d: G+ X3 C1 {> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
% |, c. B- z2 P6 d D! u> > policy.( I, E$ d% k! P2 u0 P' m
> >
% X" X0 m, F( K" h4 w> > Lunch Break
" ]0 ]& d: o( E& O& M% [> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
6 F% a$ V" L# W' M> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.' B- C2 Z. k- |: I4 F
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
. {( B9 Y- ^- [2 a> > maintain their average figure.8 ~" H( O) D1 ?7 o1 @' `
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time* Q c H7 F4 X1 Q4 J9 [
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.. a9 Y7 l! x _* M: h, O
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
S3 T( O' H( D( X0 H3 z> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
& c4 O4 [2 h/ U2 D> > employment experience.+ |( p4 R" ]& ^0 s6 ~: L. A1 u
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
|* l- Z0 J* k" ], ]! |> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,. F' N# H! t1 W$ X7 N! f
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
1 q' P) C9 L: b+ B/ i( `: e. Q> > directed elsewhere. |
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