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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
& [" f5 `; |, ^> > Effective January 2007) K2 U1 |7 g" |( t& y P9 ^
> >
+ x& h# |6 G- d> > Dress Code, L/ ^: a, b6 f) x; {# c r
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed) {! Z0 X/ ]) D ]
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
5 m Q* ]+ Z" N- e/ J1 H> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume1 v% [% {& n$ q% y1 p# U4 m1 F
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
3 |4 ?1 _- o) S3 d% }2 e5 e5 m> > need a pay raise.7 _$ q* j# c1 [
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage: l2 v6 ], z. ]& z; c7 Y2 W& U; w
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
1 e: e$ j+ S8 \" r( p5 L+ W$ @& D> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.( F# c: r! \# o8 f
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you% s# I. F, s& d1 `
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
$ r- n& H2 s3 h1 @4 W; e> > raise.' i2 k" s3 M. i2 Y3 |8 p
> >) W% b5 r8 I) Y* d t3 n" ~! b
> > Sick Days6 @- u7 ]. f# Z$ l6 V9 k
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as- x0 e/ w7 L" l8 }
> > proof of sickness.
7 X1 z( D1 u7 \- x) n1 f5 t" K> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
* A" R! D, P" c* T* V# ~> > to come to work.3 L/ w/ f* l1 n4 L3 v
> >; r& s/ p" q& c, e- Q
> > Holiday Days
+ {4 Y" Z$ V* m1 K9 D/ w4 y> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
; b! ]9 v4 {8 v- x6 O7 R> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday./ `6 O& g. q* v
> >
$ _5 _9 M; ^* U0 Y# l* a4 M4 S> > Compassionate Leave6 h- {0 z; G0 ~! |/ V; G. S
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
- k( S- l* [* u+ l> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
1 n7 n; ] Z; P- G6 T; p4 v> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-) t1 K! R6 l5 E2 J
> > employees attend to the arrangements.# ?4 W1 j l6 l0 U! t( {3 E+ E
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is: X! C) y9 y9 q( J- t4 m' x2 [
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the2 |; q: Q, q' `# C
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work, V- R3 b E" D- W" y
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one6 I* G: t. m5 h& A$ m
> > hour early.
1 n. W8 }4 C6 l> >, R* F7 A" K+ Y% D2 `
> > Toilet Use
" c% f# Y' a% K( F$ N& a) Y> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the8 J1 [; ^( ^6 t+ E6 e, t5 X
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
' G4 }; k3 |4 @> > in the cubicles.: q0 f+ y* I' L9 K" p6 h
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will$ y0 s: j0 c" z# e) G9 U& [
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
) {0 j; c3 p N) I> > door will open, and your picture will be taken./ v( a4 s) Q) m% E$ h" w: u; \
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be, I$ _4 y9 n. J6 U
> > posted on the company notice board under the
3 ]( J6 `; B) K* B* H0 E( Q# r> > "Chronic Offenders" category.: \2 `" y7 f2 N) E
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be1 Q1 w3 C2 Q: e# e) N) y; M& Z' ? A; @
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health5 R2 i6 M. V7 h: i7 G" P& }- I8 i
> > policy.
( {/ D3 L) w! }2 w0 C2 @ J> >
9 X: O. o+ f7 y+ |9 H5 F% |1 ]> > Lunch Break
2 y/ ~3 O) D2 \$ o. h" u, G7 ]> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
" s( D& F- z8 q- N2 M6 W- T% n> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.0 v8 g# t1 W3 l
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to" a @. f- w5 W# W9 i! |5 B- f
> > maintain their average figure./ _9 A5 B5 v% M/ G0 v* P
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time& R1 E$ t1 Z" q/ E
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.! b' D1 @( _( a. u* x
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are& R8 M& ~ L# b% W5 `. P
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
1 A" @4 z9 g# n5 z/ {> > employment experience.: @& [; A0 e, E
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,* ^+ C, b+ Z1 i
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,' D" B" J6 a+ I. R6 G( q
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
7 P5 i: O9 P7 D' v: F. L) \> > directed elsewhere. |
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