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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
6 x; |; [7 O+ @3 m1 I> > Effective January 2007
8 k* c2 g1 v! Y* j! y> >4 [9 h: ]9 U* t. m$ s! D
> > Dress Code
1 l3 T$ k+ x4 ]/ N> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed& X _% U* Z6 y
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing ^+ L( @5 \. k' E5 k) C' k8 x) O
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
3 ]7 T& _6 A9 ]! c0 {* ~> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
' m; Q" z b+ p' L) g% a9 y> > need a pay raise.
$ b7 {/ c! I1 q5 U> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
$ W3 w, n+ [1 [5 N3 l9 P> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer0 r3 _2 C1 `2 E7 ~7 c' A7 Y
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.. }0 j/ ?, l# P7 A( f0 P! v3 C5 `
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you( G+ n3 E0 a+ s8 ?( ~7 n
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
! r, g( d3 C2 p! J. t5 e> > raise.7 i2 \- E7 Y- ~, R
> >
0 L5 N. P& G+ F0 z. {( n> > Sick Days
& C+ l2 T7 A$ t& {+ S2 a* }> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as1 T& E- ~0 _( T) L# ]- y
> > proof of sickness.
3 p$ M" P* V. h+ Z> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
3 h! e# U) M+ g" c! I3 i* T> > to come to work.
1 H! Y3 I; s d3 B: O/ h# u5 Y> >
! C2 @2 Z. C) n> > Holiday Days
* a( ^0 t+ B! H( V> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a4 J( T( P s3 U+ E4 h+ e) x
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.+ {2 H) N& d4 y- v' m
> >
/ o B3 [; P4 Z! G$ [% N3 g; c> > Compassionate Leave
3 D1 P2 J- W) \/ k1 b. T+ w: r, t> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing) m0 P7 ~% n9 _( T% y8 {
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-/ Y1 |+ f$ @' _+ ^
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
h% }! X) s+ s( t+ A( W# j> > employees attend to the arrangements.2 w3 p: | `& \1 _
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is2 m( \9 U. k; @' Y
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the9 J. Z: [& S' H) ]
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work3 P9 {# t2 c3 c+ s- K
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
: ^5 @2 J2 h% v> > hour early.
8 ?$ t( l; Y) C3 _5 n8 J: L; y> >* k) S2 c0 l2 }5 P. t
> > Toilet Use
5 {6 d' M0 i; @> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
; \% v' C8 F/ Q% L> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
: i! _* C* \, `. x2 l1 C> > in the cubicles.( g8 Z* E7 ]0 ^2 d: e" d
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
6 F+ t O7 S) d4 S; F> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
4 o, u+ X4 l7 O8 N> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.) \' B$ l s+ s
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be6 b# X% A3 k. |' K, x
> > posted on the company notice board under the% }4 \* q$ C8 u8 G3 O, c
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
) _) r, L( ~ _ G4 r3 b' T> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
3 Z0 o# o2 `" \( q' V+ r> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
& o6 j2 e% R4 p> > policy./ |- ]& g7 }7 t& w! O) T# a% Q
> >7 r1 n9 T; Z' I, m& Y
> > Lunch Break
: S0 b. Q$ B3 I. O. i/ n2 p3 M+ Z> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
& F+ f+ g: I; t/ G0 a> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.$ |9 ^2 B6 E1 m$ @
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
: {" U$ X8 j3 L# a) F g1 {> > maintain their average figure.
5 u9 x, h X7 U: r> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time; Z; @( J; a# W6 ^7 F7 h
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.- ~& G8 n# e8 J2 V
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
2 T) u, P# @* @6 o" ^$ g$ ^> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
$ n: R& Y2 t4 r" H0 h> > employment experience.2 i: W: o4 U, L+ e6 x
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,- W4 Z. |+ G' `6 E0 @
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,* j' ^/ M( q& t( P L7 Z5 S5 X0 N
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
0 A+ G' ^: }+ Y+ s0 L" X5 X8 x> > directed elsewhere. |
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