|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:
& y# W: H/ T0 w& N: v5 C: L6 h0 m! D> > Effective January 2007
) A' {; g6 M* X1 ?: t' P; j M$ ]> >
4 `0 |$ k; }* F$ b> > Dress Code$ n6 _2 q& ?4 t; b5 ^. k
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed: ?8 h V ?& Y5 b- Z
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing6 t P) U% \0 y6 |0 y5 z) ~
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume) W) f, L4 S- e! b z) {
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not) {2 o8 y" w1 g# z
> > need a pay raise.
2 S8 r4 S& @% a, H" f# u) I> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage' b/ Y; e6 G7 a; l0 W6 E
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
& Q0 k2 Z$ R2 S* q6 n> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.6 v6 H( w" W, o" X* u) L% P, R
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you" D3 |( x2 q6 W* h$ D5 [( p9 a- I
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay& p, ~+ R% T! w G( k% C
> > raise.4 p# J% `4 f! p
> >
7 @& a; ]) c& F" \5 Z3 ~4 m, v> > Sick Days
) _# L0 ^! E6 U! c> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
) F |% E7 }% E. V, s% }1 x> > proof of sickness.
) z0 |4 J I1 V* W* [* {, b> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able, ~" q2 H9 F3 r# Q3 r0 I. h2 \' {# o
> > to come to work.
% V0 Q7 x: ~; T) b0 x> >
( E8 A# ^; {1 ], X> > Holiday Days
: D; P" J9 B, P: p" G# Z8 ~) z3 P> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
. _7 n/ J2 }2 W& d5 ~> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.. [7 O0 s2 k# [! E( r m# G; s
> > X# c+ _1 z+ S8 h
> > Compassionate Leave7 P+ A F# D3 B2 c
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing" m! k$ K+ w# [& P% X9 }& ^( X
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
* h4 y" W1 P2 a( \* T> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
% m" u8 c: S3 M2 D> > employees attend to the arrangements.
! R9 {/ Z( g1 p> > In rare cases where employee involvement is6 M: l. K2 e/ b0 [ \% o+ Q N/ o
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the* z7 E; d/ Y9 e$ _3 w( w/ c7 h$ x
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
2 {1 |( J( S5 u2 D" o9 F# |) A! O> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
* L5 E- Z3 @* n4 l# T0 L6 S9 w; {> > hour early.6 |$ t& ?" Q0 s7 E- R
> >
0 k; b1 B$ \$ s( m( h' p> > Toilet Use0 w* S2 e6 y6 u: A
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the. n4 F& f/ w; |; E; n# {
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit; Z& m1 L' G$ g# \4 F' P% r
> > in the cubicles.6 {9 w. H1 s( q8 s" Z$ y4 z7 u* c
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
: U3 F7 ~" F! r8 ~> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
- z/ Y- b7 c1 p6 |% l- s% J4 R> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
. }6 ~. W [% k t! _> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
5 `+ _& \3 U1 m0 w3 w> > posted on the company notice board under the7 M# |1 ~2 o9 c: w" _
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.* ~/ F5 C( e: E2 s3 c' a3 d+ r; U5 o
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be9 d: i3 U! r5 Y y7 F% r
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health# R0 X9 V5 O+ o- a5 m
> > policy.; Y( F# ~6 t! E7 R) V
> >: `& q- ^* ]( v, |7 ^
> > Lunch Break4 V% _6 K7 y" ?( b- H \6 N# i
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
: ]; v0 P& A& m t# G* H f> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.4 L% R |7 [- e9 K% h$ `' a9 Z
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to. q, S5 O# D+ r
> > maintain their average figure.
0 i [* d# T# k3 G> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time6 u$ X3 D3 r( A4 a! D9 E
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
& D- Q7 ]+ ]$ e> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
3 M, J7 A( D( ?> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
3 O. t# Y( |& t/ \. G# c> > employment experience.5 {7 i, J! i. C+ Z6 o2 m
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
* O6 f) q& f9 ]- I1 R: r9 a2 {/ M2 x> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
6 `8 ~1 @/ |5 }' y& ~! u; ~6 _> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
, c- x+ G$ X5 W9 V2 h> > directed elsewhere. |
|
