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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
% L- f9 S& _1 Z# d# s- u- g' O> > Effective January 2007
+ Y5 c5 g5 {) s2 G7 V6 B! K> >: ^ c* @% M4 l5 y* D7 e/ G
> > Dress Code. s) t( }) R7 M, t/ D" ]" r$ R- f; c
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
+ B+ D- N0 a3 d1 R% p+ k> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing/ T+ L0 x% `- l( G& s
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume0 `, L! k0 F8 V3 a* V
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not0 N/ q" X+ a& `7 M, d2 y8 s
> > need a pay raise.
+ B% y, u" y+ V0 S> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage& V8 {0 ~7 x3 S8 S5 B5 l
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
/ \5 x7 U8 B' n* v( E1 D4 a> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
8 t. ^9 H+ T6 ~# c6 p& O& t! `> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
% k3 t: \. e" L3 h+ b. m1 x. c, h> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay2 C0 `- V; Q) N% S d
> > raise.3 l) ~6 t; j6 Q5 x8 t0 G" z
> >
! y' P$ B) P% I- K> > Sick Days
- I: b$ _, ]0 t4 c$ |> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as+ q; f+ K6 Q& H$ y" D+ l5 J# `
> > proof of sickness.& i3 \( T! S) g/ W& K
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
+ f2 `; Q' Z& \- H+ I: G> > to come to work.9 P# t3 W% ]! s* e
> >9 I: W. l5 \* {7 s+ q
> > Holiday Days
' d/ g0 N$ _; N' N8 f> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a3 E. D: K; J8 O, P/ j5 ~, r3 g2 `
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday., X9 t$ U* f0 ]( F
> >
, c; k% y% Z. G+ k> > Compassionate Leave" q4 h$ Z4 A2 j G- }
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing) `5 Y1 _2 [' s: q9 V
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
, r6 }+ v8 s' Q) c7 }% i2 ~> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-5 c0 D4 ]' {, R
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
& y& ?0 O5 q4 w1 y6 C> > In rare cases where employee involvement is# {0 r; ^. o1 @! B0 b8 f v
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the$ f4 B [3 f' {1 V8 Q: R& u
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work# F; Y9 e: e; `% R5 w
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
* l& Q% S h9 z0 I7 H0 t> > hour early.
) U+ I+ _% z, j; y- Y: |% @> > L& K" b4 ?* K" } Z0 o
> > Toilet Use% O' N- q2 R) \/ ]
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
( n6 f0 p, q9 B> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit+ |5 o9 F+ J% T4 {# Z5 y
> > in the cubicles.8 H" @# S3 j y0 m, U+ z
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will- x) y$ G% ~ V% } U
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
" Q$ d0 f2 e( I3 B+ v> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
% z. p/ ~/ H* Q> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
0 I3 ?% k+ b4 g0 W2 {> > posted on the company notice board under the
) N6 m6 G* }; S% ~> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
}" o5 q* u0 _8 f; }# ~; l9 w% F> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
3 ?; A0 J2 }/ v0 y7 |5 M> > sanctioned under the company's mental health# g; j" }' F$ L. t, R! P1 C
> > policy.7 S7 s; ?$ K5 q% C* M9 N/ d
> >
# O9 n/ E v" s+ Z> > Lunch Break
; I: w- W7 ], \1 l' x w5 f> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they. v! j! k5 p" z: G% l( e+ a
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.( ^' j$ a0 v C2 J3 W3 t3 k2 k$ q
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to v( \% K& m. Y9 G! }" N5 q3 r
> > maintain their average figure.4 |) n; J6 j! b
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time0 d7 S) n8 \8 e% a
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
" N/ Y, Z {6 T/ |( m9 m! }! U> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
5 V* `3 S0 R, w& k" B6 A> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive9 ^6 e& U X) v! a
> > employment experience.
3 K1 a8 M0 V0 r> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,( b1 P- o `0 T- z0 B
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,4 k# Q7 Z$ f4 q# Z* `
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be0 p7 [9 N8 G5 g: a
> > directed elsewhere. |
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