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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:. O8 y. f0 V: T) c) ?1 j' I
> > Effective January 20072 s5 g& G. B1 [ e5 A
> >
0 w K9 A" G4 P- Q) s> > Dress Code
" d$ ~7 a4 I. B6 e- q6 z> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
! o4 X4 s- M! d+ ?2 N1 Y> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
( C0 h- [3 n2 f0 c( f> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume5 _% {$ X2 g3 b
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not1 {% B) z- j! J2 @
> > need a pay raise.0 M! `$ B, C" A2 l
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage# s" q: i' P3 ^
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer: Z* `9 n3 Q" K! u
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
( R, s5 o7 Z6 x! v3 w0 B( r> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you: l- E! ?: d5 [- j- L; i& ~
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
0 H2 U3 f' ?- |# k4 w> > raise.; X* i) Q) {! s# _$ V
> >
2 `7 H9 z0 L/ Y" x: D> > Sick Days( U9 P. `" s: F, f, T
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as( O8 P) O# x9 B# J1 l) x
> > proof of sickness.
( p6 o& S- {) w> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able: g* p4 B: ?+ u8 H$ K- t. Z, c
> > to come to work.
1 N) o5 @- }( m& e9 W7 ~7 c> >( K7 t& |, q+ a2 Z
> > Holiday Days2 D6 o# [/ R. w- z; ?& o
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
% \' R) A' K8 G3 ~> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.' w7 {0 K9 r; d2 `* h5 {0 U! x
> >
2 U b% M ?0 \0 ^> > Compassionate Leave
8 _9 R% @9 k; P1 D) |1 S> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
* b- ^: k5 K; c) U- A s6 `> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
8 ~" U n0 N- }; C> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
~4 h" `8 [) B( r7 S+ E! @2 B> > employees attend to the arrangements.* s2 J- O0 q( u
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
1 }& k {% E6 N' M3 r. J> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the7 W2 p% E* c. A- a. ~
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
) Q- ?/ r3 L' m; \# X> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
0 t3 \. ~0 X! @% m> > hour early.! _" {4 r6 x) o! Q- @$ h! H1 f/ q
> >( @* N6 U' P# h: A2 p6 o
> > Toilet Use
% S* J3 l6 N' n) I/ M) n> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the, p6 ?8 l& I6 S
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit* A" E! u6 w1 X) S
> > in the cubicles.
& M$ u8 v; C: G2 Y( Z> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will: H/ F' o1 W& w# Q& [2 m) \
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle- W% y/ P9 I0 m* |
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
1 e2 L+ o$ {8 d6 z. _> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be) v9 d8 R5 F/ Z$ M
> > posted on the company notice board under the
7 F/ ?# j0 w7 f4 p) E5 `0 t> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
$ i" Z+ c3 b/ S& d' q o+ C> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
$ l. I8 D& B+ ^> > sanctioned under the company's mental health2 Z( t) }5 S/ T; T# t Q, U
> > policy. l* t* D4 l0 J/ M9 E: m( T* A
> >2 E6 ~$ N; G/ M1 @
> > Lunch Break
. B# A2 Y7 r3 p# a> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
/ \+ S9 _8 O$ \0 u. ^" i> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.% n) m( z$ f+ t, B1 b4 u
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to7 u+ c, u4 m: a. I: w" w1 J, g$ ^0 }4 B
> > maintain their average figure." q3 _6 S/ ?+ ^; e+ z v
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time1 L8 ?/ W5 V9 {7 R3 w
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
/ _$ |" Y0 u8 H+ L0 p2 ]( j> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
% X* {0 }$ L# _# M* H2 j5 w> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
) ~# m/ d" N4 {! j1 D' f" h> > employment experience.
/ Y8 B. s3 _1 s& w4 r+ g> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints," t+ z2 v' A: Q+ s; t6 \9 U3 V
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
$ B B8 u% v7 f7 d& Q; \> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be1 T" t; ?& S# x+ j1 ~- _& {
> > directed elsewhere. |
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