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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:0 E3 h( `( S" t8 g
> > Effective January 2007
) G4 X6 P' z4 c> >7 i- S: ?/ h: W7 |% o# y
> > Dress Code* Q! g; ]& `6 |2 v3 }2 t
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed2 o* |1 _3 a* ^- t2 v8 k, o& o
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
! A0 ~ T) y3 _6 w; {5 j6 ]$ h, L/ y4 |> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume. ` T3 j. q( b1 H
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
& r; w( Z3 K7 w5 H> > need a pay raise.; q# f; c( D( r, Z4 V' h
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage" N3 l+ |; l' m( R' s
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
% e1 Y8 R) L5 y4 N5 L3 e> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.8 ~' {( Y2 v+ @( s
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
! _2 o0 A4 e! x q- c6 P8 ~> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
0 Z3 X: W0 k' h; v) ]> > raise.
8 Z! B1 A9 K+ d- c2 |. _> >7 w' B/ q, b3 `
> > Sick Days% t2 b3 S; B, G) I3 v6 b
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
' H/ E$ N1 S) J! }5 m+ i> > proof of sickness.3 ]& ?- |* D$ Z: b' c
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able& W1 ^9 n6 B& I; W8 }2 q$ y
> > to come to work.5 c- n% ?: |) ]7 J; l5 @! j% b
> >& y, A; T; C! b% N* {
> > Holiday Days
) |" r7 x' T# j/ P/ Y- `* }' B0 e> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
8 ]5 B6 I5 V4 f; Z$ {& X: [ {> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.: b2 D+ [( d1 o
> >
6 I( G; H8 ^/ _( L> > Compassionate Leave7 S, c" ~+ ~( @6 J3 Z
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing) i% h. R8 n8 n( z
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-+ J9 j4 V, {/ }
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-$ G# ~9 K4 @5 ?2 y3 P6 Y& ~
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
# z8 B8 k, Y9 i% C> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
+ w/ P. O. |+ f0 e0 J9 e, c> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
% V o/ y& a: V# b) l> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work/ a& ?+ K) [8 b/ [7 ^
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one% h6 X' c$ ]' ^, {6 _5 z8 K
> > hour early.2 ]8 T; p8 Q$ e5 v
> >
! Q( M1 G' g( k9 R4 Z$ w2 {, I% ~7 l> > Toilet Use
/ g: ~8 c2 _+ q* G; {; l# A1 C2 D- _> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
7 Z, \, C& O( L+ b) t* W3 D> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
) H# `2 _& X5 u> > in the cubicles.
3 r9 X1 x" i) `8 M$ k> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will3 g2 o, q- g% ^ Y) M5 d
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
1 J, E% y4 \2 I' a- M r> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
1 F+ a T9 e6 l5 [& }> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
. }* e3 p# a& r6 p- ?- a4 E8 {> > posted on the company notice board under the) s# x7 w& w, l$ I! s( B. I" a
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.$ p# d7 e% t8 p3 e) u/ y* i
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be5 f4 A3 M i4 @9 y2 G
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
! y( l; p O$ ~7 G1 L0 Y; J+ v9 V> > policy.3 b3 g* v$ H! K8 n- U* y2 p# A* ?$ h
> >
7 N* \6 R5 ?5 t> > Lunch Break5 v6 ] g; O( l/ t; I% _
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
& A0 m. ?$ m0 y3 n2 W5 C> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.' o, a1 P+ G8 @3 M0 u
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
x3 u t( k7 }$ F* c0 `7 t, X> > maintain their average figure.8 W d: g4 ?+ ~
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time, i1 j- R; X/ Y/ J4 D6 B u
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
; z6 o! ~, x& |- v/ O> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
, L# E1 z: U- l1 |- P> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
; X8 Q. [2 G5 D! U+ N. E3 x) g> > employment experience.# t7 v9 K7 l8 o" `- u+ o0 ^
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
: n4 i u- Y: E> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,- P3 \2 @& E% H( H* R
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
5 Q( o# x) s+ [ P> > directed elsewhere. |
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