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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
8 i$ R& r) v5 |% I> > Effective January 2007
5 T& e* j1 Q1 E9 ^' V( j6 V> >* x! \1 E c& t3 e" C. t$ U; o
> > Dress Code% N# F/ a. i- `3 \
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
5 a# S5 k, M' M6 o8 F) ^: f> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
1 E% R; f. _4 ]1 O8 c0 b> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
; Y( x0 @, u, n2 V W/ p I" K9 p> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not5 K: @$ o: F' z% f+ `3 z' n2 L
> > need a pay raise.
3 [% k4 ~" T: z4 P8 @( t/ M/ v% Q> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage; {. J( d$ ]2 v0 X0 Y4 ?6 w9 E
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer5 j* b* W [! G. I% D/ c3 f5 @3 [9 ~
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
5 v7 h* ~0 h; k o, w S7 _> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
3 f" f$ \& z( s* C> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay9 ~0 x' [, }# K% C I1 f
> > raise.
" L: o, ^, A' }1 e& B ?1 L> >5 @1 ~) j0 R4 w
> > Sick Days/ q" N- f$ M8 q k' ~" T7 r
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as0 ~' \! z; M, K2 t, |7 n; Y) r" U
> > proof of sickness.9 C; U0 g0 f5 z! x; F
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
: F2 ~* Z% z. u( T' q3 {> > to come to work.- o" f* J( l6 w+ F
> >
. y2 `6 w5 @" l; m$ w> > Holiday Days
" @ m1 r; b( g- d> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
0 a: P9 T1 d4 Z. t4 p3 ^/ ]> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.+ K) ?9 @9 T1 n b/ G) B
> >
6 H% l5 q5 j4 e) a0 O- d/ \> > Compassionate Leave4 N5 C& X2 H- x) n
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing7 R- c0 t/ D1 u" j; S0 W1 N
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-+ ~2 v" p5 i( x" x; q. X! p6 X
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
% ?4 H6 ]$ ^* j# O; n> > employees attend to the arrangements.( I( n6 ^+ _, v" S
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is# T' B; E1 Q" H! f9 p
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the& c) L, X0 [/ K# V
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work& B0 P5 k2 k. P
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
8 `1 u, X/ J! `) G7 d* P+ ~> > hour early.
9 } o0 u- K; R) h> >. s) U+ A. {& t* @! b/ }
> > Toilet Use
3 u' h: v- y. h" \% o9 v> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
5 ]5 F" X. l, V5 `- x* O> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit( [8 @' ?. f/ l4 S
> > in the cubicles.
- j8 U8 f* O; [; B+ D/ t! S> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
: U9 I6 T0 f9 ]' P( D> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
1 n' y1 r! h0 m4 s> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
# B7 K4 X/ ~& r: }' f4 D6 j+ b> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be2 {6 F5 g. \8 v, u' Y7 O0 A* f, S5 a
> > posted on the company notice board under the' B2 }- a7 D; D+ K: L- Y4 a5 L
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.0 d. Y8 h( j: O, P" a
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
6 }# o/ I ?9 ?> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
9 z$ @9 K3 Z8 Q) p) e( {> > policy.
; ?- p3 X' c: W; y5 L, Z$ j6 \- w> >5 c1 K: E- g% S& j: e1 D
> > Lunch Break+ j9 v5 K3 l' l7 T4 B: q t
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
; I, J, {* |/ V% O2 O1 W> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.2 i4 ~& I; L) A4 P3 M1 ~# i
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
+ R# H6 L! q$ G( m> > maintain their average figure.
. C z, R6 P5 U# i3 z& @> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
* G7 a* e0 d7 f4 }4 I8 F1 b> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast. V: H6 D) s& l3 S. v" L
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
6 Y, n" A( g( |( Y& b1 P; h9 O> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive: u+ ^- |+ Q5 `: ]
> > employment experience.0 I* Y$ ~* B9 [ r; ]- q
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
: E( K: [4 H+ A" t& Y( ?4 W! F> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
, C& J/ n r% ~( Z# L4 e> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be/ G1 C" J Q5 v# A, F" n @
> > directed elsewhere. |
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