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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:( G) P( L2 n# y% m* _/ u
> > Effective January 2007) v! {, M* N) l; V2 _7 p f9 ^
> >
4 N Y i; I* d, E> > Dress Code) d' P7 Y9 q' `; N6 P8 ?# ~
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed( d4 U) b/ Y$ g0 D: l$ F
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing' R$ t( q( N, c5 ]2 e
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
: `! X$ [1 E% X4 N> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not! b) b% V+ L% j" m3 U
> > need a pay raise.. a: g6 M8 @! F- m% Y: |
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
7 t" e7 Z8 W7 {2 V' @! V+ O> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
. w0 y4 \' g" H+ Q4 x> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
' J4 j3 I+ b% }" R' F> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
8 A, I" D3 q0 i, X> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
" k9 m$ V- d5 F( y' {' I0 b. R5 R> > raise.
4 e" d% b* Y. s/ c# \) B> >
; K& d- d- D Y$ Q G8 l> > Sick Days# j$ Z0 l. j4 R+ T
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as/ y9 S9 w$ U: U1 A6 C, |5 ~' D
> > proof of sickness.
7 Q* g$ k, }* n p }* i> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
! y- m: w0 f- T% f9 i0 A> > to come to work.. T0 e: \, \; ~
> >7 ~2 E8 \2 b* L7 ~4 j, T0 N; b
> > Holiday Days) I+ [ `& R4 Y+ H$ v3 Q3 w3 A. H
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
, P" g, I) q8 K8 _; W# x/ _7 P> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
4 T3 h, p5 U4 L6 {7 s1 { e> > ?, J5 t2 s* K
> > Compassionate Leave
+ O7 `' g4 {/ @" C2 `+ f> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
& u& m" u1 G: d7 N0 U> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
/ @' U- ^# g! x$ a> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-9 v @8 I1 ]. n' K. }
> > employees attend to the arrangements.) G9 o! }; A0 O* y; ]
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
. Y K: h6 d/ v2 \( o( l& H> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
9 w$ n7 t2 A$ n- {: T> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work4 R4 t5 U$ H8 r- j) b/ C, M
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
& c4 @: Q0 Q. i: ], |1 K& g) z> > hour early.. }' J7 S5 k: k. `- I
> >5 Z; d* ?, [8 U1 `% s( B4 q
> > Toilet Use# z( H" h9 U) u3 g' h
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the" f9 M5 }6 v9 O1 ~- m
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit: \ O" \; i+ N+ Q7 d- @5 W
> > in the cubicles.
' z2 k' n" K: w/ ^9 H, B> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
7 a& e8 G6 q5 `> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
, V) u, ~5 b- m2 y9 A, k T> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.2 R* g$ l G3 u
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
8 U) K+ ?( K3 B2 B% K0 B9 ^> > posted on the company notice board under the
& E V$ f9 e8 b3 C> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
& _6 [5 @/ w5 ^ g4 B1 v, U> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be' Y* g& t0 R, a( ~+ L4 _8 K+ }
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
- H5 }7 y! M: e' q8 D> > policy.
" J# b1 M8 u/ T: V- Z( v> >. G, W/ T2 f1 W/ |: O
> > Lunch Break; G$ r J5 Z* E7 ]
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they) O: F) t9 a( C2 F+ |. w3 ~
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
1 n) P7 r4 T/ u) l( _" H> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to" w) D$ h y, S6 d* n! r: o
> > maintain their average figure.1 o* t d) G& `* e, d$ }. z
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time' D* C9 V$ z8 T7 x
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.- v/ m3 q% r7 O8 {# l& i2 o
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are* G5 C$ _8 B' b2 ^6 \$ V2 u4 ^
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
8 V W8 D/ f9 u, d* H$ y> > employment experience.# L: B9 a1 y/ d6 u$ T. b$ u: C
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
) V+ j$ }4 |4 o: C. E> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,& W5 P. F) K. ?3 g+ Z
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be( D4 r# w$ L4 p" ?# o; v6 q
> > directed elsewhere. |
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