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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:- Z% p2 A3 D! N7 o* [% ]( K" M( A
> > Effective January 2007
* ~1 r3 \8 ^1 I% H* I9 N' c& e> >
3 b( X1 J6 A/ X5 D> > Dress Code
5 {7 @. c4 m& r0 U# `; U/ x0 X6 a! @> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
& S. A5 X) B1 l6 T( H> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing7 s% \9 }$ k A' X" n
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume0 y$ }1 y6 |' K/ [2 w' Q
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
! J& ~$ a/ o, z! K/ _> > need a pay raise.! q1 b) Z/ ~- t# O; }
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage5 H" E0 b9 P( |' l1 O8 o; i! j, o
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
$ V6 d% i9 W- k" `> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.) z/ z( ^$ l. D+ L
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you5 }! u4 H) {$ Q' f& z
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay7 e: U" v+ `8 p& ~$ I. B% ^
> > raise.! E7 O* n% f4 ]& b& }* n& t
> >
3 e! B& u& u# e8 A' |> > Sick Days) p" m8 }/ n0 n% G3 m3 h* E$ [) O8 \
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
7 }! m0 \& o9 Y" _+ A- r! z> > proof of sickness.* Y9 y* ?; G! o4 P, C
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
2 ^! u! @5 C" X7 n' k3 y. k4 }> > to come to work.
+ I; E* ~ c% q6 i$ @) g/ j> >/ X7 r j" {! i2 Q3 R$ K. b
> > Holiday Days
5 P, l% U' R W1 O& T I0 p( z> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a' I( T# b- P6 \/ h. F1 R
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday." I; i- L- T" c5 q
> >
/ V4 L: k6 C/ w; g> > Compassionate Leave
( A4 M2 O8 W8 [4 M" W% H6 ]> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
1 X& v1 |3 Z! d% M7 H; v7 |> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-. W, Y& Z( J# _
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-. M2 [3 t& t1 z- v
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
4 M, `5 w/ ]& J# I) x3 P$ b1 q> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
9 Q4 ]% N: w. I6 _: E1 K> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the- _1 }4 C2 d8 _9 t( N
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work7 U. N% a4 t* }) _7 M
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
8 n& B3 G+ K F$ v6 y. a$ j> > hour early.1 V6 s) J/ e g j' X' S, h; B4 t
> >
, t+ H/ C( m2 [+ Z3 m& v> > Toilet Use$ Y; G, Z: h P2 I
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
4 p/ V4 ~- Q* K> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
! q& ~. S8 H% t; h: a' L> > in the cubicles.
j. E6 {1 X0 l- g5 f$ \> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will3 E. g ~$ E5 F1 ?: S# w
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle& o$ R4 R; [! X: w2 {$ P
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
2 `+ u, @$ e1 Y/ n0 \4 r+ v> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be$ T+ @+ f1 a" b2 p/ r* J
> > posted on the company notice board under the
' @# y5 t1 O2 C( p' k: R+ V3 g> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
& Z. A. g9 B3 |9 Z> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
S% `8 {$ e4 `* m! U> > sanctioned under the company's mental health0 ~! w) C& I- N9 f0 |/ y4 g
> > policy.3 r. f* k2 f6 g* _# C9 `
> >1 t! C K9 W/ F" b: O- C
> > Lunch Break
) u6 j& |8 N" v/ K> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
6 J8 t9 }/ e# z* a# R, R> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
9 E) r& y& A' b- y: q0 t/ Z> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to" z b5 }1 t0 S5 y+ n: m6 D
> > maintain their average figure.$ }/ N7 E* A5 D
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time! @- d& u$ x5 A
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
1 V' ]- u: a5 A8 h6 s> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are- Y" N' q# V4 w2 S; n
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
% U5 M2 J8 u, ?3 g# X! l> > employment experience.' }1 e7 |, L V0 M8 ~
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
7 A% w# I; A0 F, V> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
{1 @% n( D' h> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
/ A" P$ _! I" }) G> > directed elsewhere. |
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