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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
7 U6 L! R0 H0 I- X5 v% k* P> > Effective January 2007$ S; s# Q6 V1 S( A6 N4 l
> >
0 ]) ^4 |% a: a6 j; I# S$ h5 N> > Dress Code" m ^+ q6 X: v# }' I; J6 H
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
, m5 H1 D: x) G> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
) I. L. L$ |6 W* w/ E* q5 v> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
; \( v. P G* r) w. T& z> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
% t' _' W) s; H1 n( @# g> > need a pay raise., V2 ]4 f4 T6 l: K* Q1 m
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
6 @0 Q+ y% R0 U' r> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
) t7 D: P9 ~8 K2 Q$ Q> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise." m9 G$ s/ N1 A& q: \& k5 \, u8 v. X( N
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
! d! D5 i0 V+ v/ j> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay8 ^9 y$ ^& c. h8 c: C
> > raise.
& ^8 V/ l7 u" B! F> >
, w8 y2 E; K# G, {( h# l3 F> > Sick Days
& w; ~4 p4 D+ j! d1 s8 w> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
; j0 j4 ]8 s- i% ^2 K$ e9 i& r2 l> > proof of sickness.
7 D/ K3 ` |7 J9 `2 t4 {> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able! Z1 t* _2 R- j% N& s2 a
> > to come to work.
0 Y: |, c& N* p( V; J5 ]9 R> >4 g( t1 y& @/ l. J
> > Holiday Days
: b, L7 o3 r: x" w! R# T> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a: G0 B! H5 Z- ~8 ]* `
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
; X+ l" x$ ? K+ T; R% J> >
$ L: s$ V& N! z! y, [1 G; z r0 v> > Compassionate Leave
9 ?6 a: m7 [- P) ]) { i: p: o1 h> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing( w9 e) U& m7 \- c5 ]
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
) C1 d2 R1 w7 M+ y1 C( k> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-7 S: A/ v; o; e- x1 t
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
4 o8 X9 o; G/ K> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
0 t4 j5 i* c+ n' d3 s4 S& S8 y7 `2 [> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
* ~" U l+ g4 g# B; j> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work" Y$ l, x2 N1 p( }; Q$ [
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
2 C& a! C# k' c; b4 O> > hour early.
2 I5 `* V3 t' K% d4 ^' h1 r> >
8 X P6 A& W( ]0 r- Q> > Toilet Use
! d9 s$ a3 d' A1 y> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the {- S2 X/ k6 \5 v
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
! ]) _- F) {) A# M> > in the cubicles.
) [9 x2 x$ c; g( x( E> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
% s; j0 Y" I* R" A$ m> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle5 f/ w1 K! s' }+ S9 ]$ V
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
8 Q! ]) }$ h2 y0 a: c2 |7 C> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
+ A7 z" A. b- [; u# X: y |> > posted on the company notice board under the$ X2 c! U6 J1 D) N1 S0 Z" Z$ x
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
% v! |: n+ N, h6 x6 }> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
7 `5 p" @) _" w> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
( Y' r: I, w6 ^& G& V9 ~' ^$ P: K> > policy./ H! c- [* W% b z. m
> >; r) h k8 C" z$ S: u& N. Q
> > Lunch Break" l& i4 E: q1 B7 Y
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
8 q, g, u8 ~ J- F# [$ k# c0 l- {4 a( T> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
/ L( U; _' B# v; W1 e0 g& W4 D> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to, i+ C& a3 ~% s5 C9 ~
> > maintain their average figure." I, L3 g" c2 x. o' m
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time i7 c6 d1 E/ X& s7 \1 g+ a* r
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
7 [# }0 t! f; D# q7 F& d- I1 T> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
* w% q) ~1 _! n> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive$ [* R T1 Q9 d$ c z2 b/ r0 ?- ^
> > employment experience.
" [3 _& z0 z1 o. ?' l4 B> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
3 o" M6 u9 m( J& r. l4 Y0 _> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,3 S6 j2 ~6 Z3 Q% b% P P, d
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be0 d! U3 D7 S/ f" Y1 Q1 J
> > directed elsewhere. |
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