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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
" N4 y# j0 Z/ l) V, W4 h; ~$ h> > Effective January 20078 l! h8 J/ d' u0 j U
> >* T5 F2 o' r0 i0 ?, d
> > Dress Code7 `8 M$ i4 n0 j, T' b
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed& {! ]: A' F! X/ Q1 [" U4 z
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing5 h2 v0 h+ B' E, l0 p- Z0 P2 [6 u) R
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume) `, u' r7 E' P& Q& J, I' d% i
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
' `: r0 O X# W6 m> > need a pay raise.
9 |) S& D- U0 n3 y> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
- ^" x& n9 N9 i" f> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer5 ^ {. c9 a) {) V% v: V
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
8 H$ y" Y6 p$ z: p> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
5 p: O# K. I7 R% c, x> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
$ I# \% e5 X& {, N> > raise.
, B2 t1 j# i( l! c8 L# f8 b> >' d$ i/ F0 S; U
> > Sick Days
& ~+ O6 E" N$ A( s% s> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
3 ?! L3 m$ `, G# J$ \6 x> > proof of sickness.
! X4 T0 Y* Y8 r" z> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able9 P ^7 |% v f
> > to come to work.
* O1 P) O) e* G# C/ b+ ]) ~2 \> >
4 \7 t: P+ E" {6 B> > Holiday Days1 Y( C6 k8 j: {7 x/ w9 P
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
2 S! f( F: x) k2 |: B> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.( s% c" q8 A/ i6 l; _9 C" q% Z2 }
> >
& b' U6 E) `2 O- J' @> > Compassionate Leave5 V* M3 Z5 o) \+ M5 |! @; d
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing9 |3 W c& f8 @3 g' V
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
6 g1 K9 G7 Q3 t# ?1 D. M" w5 l> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-: d) U, o9 T, }+ ?2 N
> > employees attend to the arrangements.1 z+ F+ ]/ a& u: i* F& r" C
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
9 h: B/ @# Q* ]/ X> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
# H' I) ]5 t j k0 L& [7 f1 O> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work* K/ t+ i1 }* p
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
2 ~6 P. T9 r$ F. J# v> > hour early.
; J" ~1 T' v1 }. G: E> >
9 [( X" O S* e# s6 @> > Toilet Use
! k7 N# }. y# R2 x> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
) x L* G0 F* S! r$ j) U5 X> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit# k7 M4 F* ?( v/ H
> > in the cubicles.
+ t& |% e- I7 r3 }/ w" b9 F! b> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
+ R+ E9 H3 S" m; S> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle5 X2 A2 @4 X' A N
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken./ O! O! H ~0 o5 h7 t6 g" b, Z
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
+ l C# @; b9 U9 x5 p2 X3 W+ M> > posted on the company notice board under the3 Q: |4 P* _4 v
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.+ O5 A# ?! w% m' l: A; J% R( v
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be# |: _, ]/ D2 B1 `- f- x
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health1 K' D2 T8 T. ~8 s+ j
> > policy.) a5 Q5 a) H* ^+ A' n. }' E
> >
5 q& M. q- q0 p7 m e> > Lunch Break' e4 Z1 E5 u: r6 S y0 `
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they; o( v: \7 \! ^. {- x# l
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
8 c* i7 `7 }( [9 V8 Z2 E> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to' k0 b$ u2 P3 y, J2 h. d
> > maintain their average figure.3 E' G. E7 m6 \2 }6 a2 z
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time. `+ k4 v! }- ^: z3 Q' V
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.! T2 q5 m3 e6 r! v1 h6 T) T
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
, J5 u2 Q1 [, U: q/ x/ Q3 r> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive5 @' S4 G g7 b! v8 d0 x
> > employment experience.
7 i9 z6 ^: V# R" r> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,2 ~9 [$ w3 R I. s; ^# K
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,+ _" C1 ?2 p$ d7 V
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be# W7 [ K9 f# q) P: C) g+ `# G7 ~
> > directed elsewhere. |
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