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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:- ?3 X5 W/ d2 v* K9 U
> > Effective January 2007
: i/ f" h; \0 U4 `$ @. p; w$ S- v> >
& _! n% U4 n* t. `# ]* a7 x5 N> > Dress Code
/ P& D' V; v6 Q& m4 r- e> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed# b& m1 j( h# P9 {
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
7 F9 v* G/ k) P+ `/ m> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume" E( y: ]4 Z2 v/ r; D; O
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
9 q$ x4 r' u6 |# {# _' k> > need a pay raise.
: l8 f* ?+ t. b4 b" a; e3 ]0 y> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
/ Y/ v2 y9 y$ K8 F2 ~> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer) W( m% A. |$ I' d& v
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.4 c& E) q$ P* e [( P( h! Q
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you5 L7 J+ e* T: l0 W* Q
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
/ f9 u% F. w, B. |! s> > raise.1 N' w a% r3 T0 n- C5 O" l
> >
/ [9 e- h4 y/ ?# a. ~> > Sick Days
2 @/ V ]8 q9 V) T> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
( W, [7 ^2 V6 |2 b> > proof of sickness." E Y" g; @$ f& \3 U
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able8 a+ `0 N& e" r2 Y0 w
> > to come to work.5 P$ I$ G8 `2 _% K0 @9 K
> >3 u& I7 ]! \# Z
> > Holiday Days, l. [1 ~ Q9 r$ Q7 ^( u
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
L1 W- P( @# _) p> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.' _9 Q+ o6 d, H* O2 B* g
> >* O3 e5 v, G, c. {) z
> > Compassionate Leave
, d3 `( l3 D+ H+ V& n> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing! I7 R0 [# d7 I( q9 H
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- r- e% z/ H8 i# i
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
( W' @5 E' I6 Q: U+ F> > employees attend to the arrangements.
% U, W z- @% G+ E1 ~ h% ~> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
4 P( W# G/ {0 Q) s* d. V8 r4 Q> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the# X- X# M1 t8 l- [& N
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
1 t; J* y1 B" ?0 a( d% x6 j> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one% k4 q7 y ?$ z$ K6 o& P) ^# | |
> > hour early.- ~7 c* S# @0 p
> >
7 l' ~" k: @+ R W* J2 \> > Toilet Use
" d5 _! _4 y7 S- `. F7 ]- |> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
& ?: I! D) R, i% k w> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit2 T, i& i8 d! J% i6 p3 x3 X0 P
> > in the cubicles.
1 |. }& K- ~* Q& G- H$ {/ S> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
# d* a* S0 N8 _, ?- ~5 M E> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle0 t% P8 ?# e1 D4 U6 W+ K, e9 W
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
+ I! R! S1 ?7 ?9 F1 H> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be2 j- r* d: `- u
> > posted on the company notice board under the
$ e; m1 W( l5 o7 k0 C F5 L> > "Chronic Offenders" category.2 p5 i" p( i: J* K
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
5 f, o* c: L; D> > sanctioned under the company's mental health7 M7 r9 }' o* g1 Y! \
> > policy.
" w$ L* X2 X- K1 o7 d2 n% _> >6 Z9 b, q* ]! ~# E+ \( D
> > Lunch Break2 r+ K) w, B! g7 v
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
" \8 z$ e! e, `8 Z0 C2 j> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.6 k) B1 }: w) W1 G' X* `$ @
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to7 R& K9 C# U1 D1 r/ }
> > maintain their average figure.
w- K3 d$ V2 y4 a8 R8 g) W3 ^> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time2 n5 a2 [& W/ f w0 O$ H |
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
. M* p+ l9 v: e- t: J3 }8 e0 c" }> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
: _$ ?: r# v5 ^> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive$ z- e* V+ \6 T0 O1 M
> > employment experience.
7 L. X4 K+ |& C L" d r( h- P/ }> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
: P6 s B% {0 k! W+ p> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
4 c( M/ F6 }! ~ _) x> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
3 B- y# V' I* D0 `! H> > directed elsewhere. |
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