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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
! W9 L# R/ `# Q4 K/ T" a> > Effective January 2007& m0 D7 R# C! y# f
> >
* `0 e: n+ a4 Q: L0 X- k4 L0 O( Z! w> > Dress Code
0 r/ }/ J) l% y( t6 J$ s> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed4 k& c2 f5 H: ]) u: \9 r5 j
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing9 \9 {3 R5 |: {1 H6 F6 j
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume0 i: F; @# O7 u$ }: L3 K+ w! D8 Y
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not9 }- }- i2 k9 R" U( ~8 I w# O8 W {
> > need a pay raise.) J; A" [' {4 v a
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage* E2 _5 H T+ w; y5 j: @& A5 a
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
; t Y2 u4 Q. W% a9 L% c1 c> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
% `# V2 t+ Z9 F: M+ y> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you( j& \4 {/ z0 {0 [; [
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
; R0 [9 I+ |- L. P> > raise.. G7 H1 M# a) R! m
> >0 t3 x9 l, F) M( n$ }" }7 A
> > Sick Days( @' L* Y. b) X; W: I
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
/ _! ^2 r0 ?3 s+ I> > proof of sickness.
" }, @4 O3 e" k+ g5 J- U. M5 _> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able' o6 `. @' E7 h! W- k
> > to come to work.0 y$ r+ Z0 b4 t" U8 ?, f
> >! j4 O# s7 g$ _9 L$ {7 M% D0 J
> > Holiday Days0 l( O3 w; [, S, ~8 G& C: B' G
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a: k5 C' c2 {# E
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
: M2 k h! d* F5 @4 Z# b: Q> >
- t! Z( l6 g1 C* e' R> > Compassionate Leave
5 |. A8 b ^! W6 d7 Y> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
, v* R x1 o+ q> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
$ \* u5 ? H2 \> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
. B% ^, O' z% g* @> > employees attend to the arrangements.
! i$ N. V8 I0 D> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
; T* K+ ~0 h4 J' a% L9 l x# C> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the& ~' u, W) [% b3 Q8 I3 ^
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
( F O( {, n. M> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
" Q# ?" ^6 s' S! p: v R> > hour early., y- A+ r5 m' @; M+ U
> >
6 R( B* I1 r( t> > Toilet Use% v( q2 b3 R/ Z( j2 E
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
, ~# S; g" o) F {6 y7 Z> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
, o3 C6 U/ F( T# K6 m2 l) V> > in the cubicles.0 `; V: H. O) ]" K' T
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will) f5 D: I3 a, w z/ i" M
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
# I3 t; \% ~* n4 V* P> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.% Y$ m& {' l4 G: G9 S9 Q
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be, P0 _# Z# q, }- F
> > posted on the company notice board under the
e4 ^8 P+ R' f: u> > "Chronic Offenders" category.5 W: {& m2 R7 Z
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
5 `- t$ Q5 v" U( h, ^5 w H! \7 F> > sanctioned under the company's mental health* x) s/ E& b% i
> > policy.$ m# a) @# ~) t
> >
4 g: F, G) I% g, r# |9 v: N> > Lunch Break' t2 n2 N2 p& s' J
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
! [' ]; U% h( J, r: z7 i4 @% F> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
! X0 h1 c+ |( z" L. d> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to; l) @0 d2 [6 L% M, }* e
> > maintain their average figure.
/ [4 C/ z1 L3 \: X' r> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time9 a1 T: g% {) u! _: g; T
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.+ @7 U- g! T: N( z* [& ?
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
1 Z) j9 K/ ^1 Y: I6 N> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
( z6 Y) z: X, o> > employment experience.
. y" T6 _4 a& C z# T1 ?> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
5 a, B. k" m# u0 s: W* l, \> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
" e( h# _4 V1 `& Z> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be/ q+ [ V- f' T- ?, `1 r
> > directed elsewhere. |
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