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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:7 V2 h7 R" ?9 S$ G$ v z/ I
> > Effective January 20078 O/ _" U6 J* N: v% N* |1 U
> >
; A( D6 \- l' E0 C7 _( n> > Dress Code
# b, d- G/ I$ O) K- r% }- O7 W> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed0 e% G5 K8 o* D: k5 Z7 h
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing9 t4 C C8 u# X: l m% g; w9 W4 L
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
. ? ]5 q& k- a3 P> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not& w" k5 g9 H2 N- R; B. T
> > need a pay raise.
3 }+ P+ x. e7 ?3 I7 }, _> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage, I( ^2 W% I9 B* C/ X+ J
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer/ y0 i( B Z: @- R2 F9 V
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.- O! h2 m/ b. ]6 B2 ?5 G
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you; X6 d8 C4 \- I/ v
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
! p) }8 i% z$ b# B. @; J> > raise.
y' W8 s' N3 {+ t0 b9 `' [> >& `6 V% W) W, |2 k- i
> > Sick Days
4 w8 e8 K" M$ |# o: f> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
* K( ]# s" |( k- m+ X3 l: w6 x> > proof of sickness./ i8 I3 n. E r7 [1 A
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able. `0 o: F& \( l/ L3 j
> > to come to work.
- d) O+ l F3 J% p3 H( U7 C> >+ V9 _5 E6 t& U: b; |0 x: J5 F7 b1 i7 C9 @
> > Holiday Days
8 k; Y; ?6 L9 y) @' m9 ]; {> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a4 k' g7 }; L+ V- p) H6 J
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
7 l; y' X2 x3 l& y+ s8 Y( Y* U> >/ b% o+ D3 c# g0 V
> > Compassionate Leave" y9 ~- @/ }" P
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing! ` y5 n0 R3 Y
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
% e. @2 s5 c4 Z( g> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
$ t+ f# b+ g. F) {1 a6 U> > employees attend to the arrangements.4 n! S% H" _- m# H( ?3 J/ |- t
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
/ ^0 {" V. g* f# i> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
( H ^, l* T3 F" q) g* M! U> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
& G4 R/ x$ D/ H5 Y& n/ i> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one4 y6 ] p, V: p! X
> > hour early.
- \1 N- j' r2 m0 m5 V2 C# [8 n# ]> >. ?- F) Q K$ E$ f% Y# Z* K
> > Toilet Use
# X$ {& P7 N9 U> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the. O& @& }9 r4 H2 [1 o+ F
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
. a& ^7 t' b/ |5 {7 q) R> > in the cubicles.0 @5 C/ U; ?" N5 B& R3 y: G* l
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
, J# z* M5 U. ^; b- V, D> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
, W# P9 e: R2 c2 [; m* ]- V> > door will open, and your picture will be taken., b* w' Y2 n; X+ E+ c% ^* I
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
8 T8 X! \% i3 u+ G! t) A> > posted on the company notice board under the
+ x% Z+ m8 {; n E> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
% c/ P; D& v6 `3 H) G- v> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
9 D( @5 m, ^1 M+ {> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
( | L' w3 p2 e2 B1 p( r1 P> > policy.
: B$ Q. f8 L+ \1 [: _" Q> >
4 u0 _2 a5 b1 S/ R: k> > Lunch Break/ e+ i4 K [4 |4 G- S0 F( e
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they) H8 T/ R9 D8 ?4 ^3 ^' @. p& b$ X
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
6 n( S2 R9 A1 A) m O> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
( ^( x/ |- q L r$ r. A; k> > maintain their average figure.5 T1 V8 \8 V5 j( D7 v
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
& [! T+ Z& H* d* {7 M1 Y7 Q! i/ x> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
% X& V, Y8 q3 E% s2 _> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
" R1 n% `* A5 r> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive. u5 ` O7 Q2 a8 v/ N- Y n* E! B
> > employment experience.
7 U2 Z1 h. K2 ]% }9 J* y9 n> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,% |6 x* J, X2 f1 b8 b' `/ W1 t
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,- Y( J Q2 l, U7 |: B; A
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
; s, n' E0 R6 h> > directed elsewhere. |
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