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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
+ O2 u. C( D9 m G> > Effective January 2007( ^1 E$ l, c1 l* q5 I
> >
4 R3 M9 n" y" G6 D> > Dress Code4 n+ Q& e1 f& z0 T8 B- U" B3 M
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed8 W" |$ i- q$ s! |* Y6 ] \
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
+ T( @) s" u, Q. m> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
6 I$ e8 y% D! a U, u> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not) l @5 L1 f2 j- K- X6 S
> > need a pay raise.
0 } L1 C4 L( q! ], m% @7 Y1 m! z> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
" G2 U7 ?/ F$ H> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
t$ R! e! ~; X3 E* k! i% r2 F, W> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
. l4 P+ i2 o* k: f( n> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you+ e- t) c' r( Y$ g
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay4 X1 Q J3 P( t$ ~6 H+ Z
> > raise.
* D' q' o. K) l2 k0 H0 I& o" B> >4 y( |" B3 ]6 N9 ?/ d
> > Sick Days
. f! M7 \% }- g) L> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as P7 M, U1 d, U7 S
> > proof of sickness.
- B- k3 Y1 L0 Z- U+ @, ?; z/ ?> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
+ @7 F5 p! b) q$ D+ v, H> > to come to work.
( q9 K V F v$ J! Z$ l> >; }; b2 ^: a8 l7 t& _# _- h
> > Holiday Days$ V1 G, W/ f1 d7 A8 }9 W2 b
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a1 T& n" R" `" b F
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
& W/ a4 w9 M4 z% |> >$ x- K2 [1 A0 g8 }1 y: |/ C# H
> > Compassionate Leave
8 K8 x3 f$ @7 o% l> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
! D6 j- B6 Z' e( e7 B, J! u ]( T> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
# {; N8 _, v9 M8 x% j2 p; P1 ~> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-( F0 c1 a3 _9 |* s; z; i3 a
> > employees attend to the arrangements.& P P2 {( J( E% S3 e+ H+ B
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is& I2 k9 G% I' o7 c, r
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the7 e2 f$ S% _; T3 A
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
$ E7 i6 [3 t' _5 j6 W> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
6 M0 V' X8 ^$ Z' v8 {8 P> > hour early.
" T9 b& q+ V a6 H1 J: q5 S> >
: w0 t5 ]$ ?7 X$ B" u- Z! k> > Toilet Use8 [' \% S* L7 D k% G# t
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
$ q P( j- l8 r" ]3 ]> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
' u" C, N8 C8 f$ e> > in the cubicles.
7 d) E' |5 o* e4 U& O> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will' f& ?% x9 r' M' r2 p; c: l2 f
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
+ U8 x3 T, i2 F7 j) I> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
2 C4 r# x+ C9 x9 i) C9 L> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be3 q4 W4 L a" Q) `7 m( p% O
> > posted on the company notice board under the& X3 m& V" y0 h, ]3 ~6 Q
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.1 m% r w- |/ ?3 t6 d" N. |
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
# c6 ^& h% N8 L# u8 S& O> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
$ A6 }5 @/ \' x! c0 H0 Z> > policy.
5 `" [7 }% ] R5 A) A2 \> >
! K6 N; @1 M q! @' x! l/ @0 h2 g7 t) @> > Lunch Break
* Y" {7 h- D- { a> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they3 d( O$ R2 c8 B0 [2 J
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.- u& o% W4 p# e- Q0 ~1 S1 l6 Q
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to, k3 a( j$ d# A1 {
> > maintain their average figure.6 b/ i, V2 A* ^) H0 z7 {6 A
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time% q J: j, q: U
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.$ E. [4 m8 j! O7 C. P- L
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
1 C+ q4 {- q# R1 l; q3 H> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
* Y& z4 Y( t- {& O! T> > employment experience.
, C9 o* D' B4 O" ?1 _1 g8 _> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,# @" ?0 U: e M, Y" F3 ^0 ]
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
) _4 X+ V6 R- v6 \5 u/ f' C' S> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
: U1 M' h& b8 J+ o2 D> > directed elsewhere. |
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