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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
0 z |6 Q% T- q" h> > Effective January 2007
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> > Dress Code$ m8 [. T) Y; _# ?5 z. B
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed# R% ^: z$ M# v# D/ x
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing# e6 u0 R% x1 P" k( n
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume. h7 C! z! Q+ J1 j$ |
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not' u+ b! S4 y/ }* ^* e% {# I
> > need a pay raise.) a& {% H4 h. ~, L5 ?& j' G
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
0 z. o3 ]0 l* T9 T8 S; ^4 \6 p> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
) j; t9 e4 d/ M a( T> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
% k; Y5 s$ ?, y) {> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
6 }- I2 j4 W8 i) J> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
) A4 m# ~, u" Z! a8 A> > raise." \( n* m; j8 z/ T, J5 B
> >
. z9 P. ]4 X' B5 `% O3 E2 Y7 I& M% R> > Sick Days
1 ^- ~: C0 ~5 W7 E8 F* k. b+ Y+ Z> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as( I0 F* M' y7 l0 u1 m# j8 G6 v
> > proof of sickness.
+ r! v8 ^5 J. u' M" L) d6 `> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
1 W, ], u/ V( ]3 H/ P+ p [, Y> > to come to work. N7 e9 u0 d! K* r$ T5 G. f9 d
> >
4 o: T D( k* x! i% ~$ U> > Holiday Days' a. W) p/ u$ a: e H* P# n; [
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
4 c3 ?4 k; B) h& e- p$ R1 v6 t> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
8 J- w8 e0 Q& C3 `: J9 g> >! ]7 e$ h- D, @& A6 f) c! B
> > Compassionate Leave
& I8 N; I; W; o, U2 ]: Y> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing3 t* l5 O' [+ j% o$ e/ k' T: M, v
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- Y+ n b) d% D& @$ h
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
4 [+ n4 y: P% D" w: c" x> > employees attend to the arrangements." w$ o6 f7 f) I$ J
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
& t0 W, P8 v8 c; N; ]9 z' ]; ?> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the! t+ v7 E3 J0 _
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work N" L/ b! i' g# {! s; H
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one; d+ U J6 M; _3 y! F
> > hour early.7 y/ u: w" a1 i* C: t* r
> >
3 j( g% w6 s F4 A> > Toilet Use
# [7 y7 \$ p$ g' i> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
' f( S# @+ T: o g- m0 S> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
. M* H) h0 V& ]6 e9 X! ]> > in the cubicles." P; E+ L9 y0 b
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will+ f7 V3 c' _ a8 k) t
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle1 L+ C, F; X) h# z; s
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
$ [7 ]9 C" i! [6 L> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
3 O- A" A9 l7 u5 o0 O2 t> > posted on the company notice board under the7 t# a0 x0 F# p$ e+ H$ q
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
1 n" p8 w: H. s" m1 g> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be; L; {7 y+ D2 P$ m4 ]
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health7 l) d- j: i+ S1 P4 i& M5 n
> > policy.
, H/ m$ F# a. }% j> >
9 }$ L y' t$ ~0 r: L; r$ y> > Lunch Break1 @- D! a) ]" G, P
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they! ^+ L) ~6 W. j) A3 K4 `
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
. ^0 k7 y- J v0 b! y1 t, T9 d> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to$ i% ]/ G7 u8 @; z1 R( Y8 w( d* }
> > maintain their average figure.5 R, p I @# ~, f( b9 x7 d5 \3 B
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
6 m- t% d, u! v> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
% d5 M' H# J/ k; `> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are- d' {$ A" B% E1 a+ ~
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive9 I1 J9 H; V! O
> > employment experience.0 P/ {5 }0 r& ?4 R+ }7 I9 i- d' W# ?
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,7 x$ P3 g2 X; j g1 x6 t8 t
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,! B, o7 c6 l3 R/ h& ~! f
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
6 v; Y* X. q4 \( L/ T# R> > directed elsewhere. |
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