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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
1 I2 k2 O, t9 w> > Effective January 2007
b j; g I/ H> >7 c( s& E8 m, e8 y
> > Dress Code
( u9 x$ g) y4 w! o> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed: D, x0 x3 b; O0 l0 I4 O ~! o
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
]% G! G' n, k& O2 E' Z# {# G> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume& c, B" [% S; M; }- }
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
* N0 T# L6 m4 X+ d4 L- U* B# c, O> > need a pay raise." m- Y/ K; z/ C* Y/ s
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
9 j" _+ c. U& E; X. \4 ~> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer) G4 V4 d- }! K; J, q
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.. V- t! u$ y! I, g! Y- n. N! I3 Z r
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
' q. p4 L6 U1 O( v0 F> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
$ i9 J; U- M* T2 |: D9 Y> > raise.& b5 ]8 U% W0 L: o( S
> >& `, [; H; r$ \+ ^, d
> > Sick Days, r9 S$ B* \/ z3 S! n0 f6 P
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
9 i! ]3 u, s' u: g: @! t> > proof of sickness.
* i% H+ g. L4 d/ _> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able1 ^: u3 a; `3 {+ v A o( Y
> > to come to work.
- v: W# e2 G) o# O r4 D) S> >
, d1 K- v- @( @; W> > Holiday Days3 j+ V1 k; ^8 b! Y
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a3 r% L m! V- M1 ?7 j7 P% L* w
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.4 C% S- N% p; f6 g* M! p8 `4 e
> >
' _( Y8 B5 q) N$ q; r' R> > Compassionate Leave. e! x P6 d+ M+ S
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing8 o9 {2 n; k1 ~
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-' x+ C( i* r$ v6 M2 r' u- v
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
9 y) N' c2 ?3 Z5 G( W> > employees attend to the arrangements.
) @# a! s+ Q; l7 i9 G2 J> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
! g) `) I c5 y; h4 Z% X r5 N> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
: r* \2 y [9 T6 _; ?> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work# G4 I$ o( M/ i# `8 c5 q$ t
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
' O) a1 c. I1 ^1 j( x> > hour early.
- l, R+ l5 @& h {! ?! l2 E7 c, x( N> >
" y$ K/ E5 ]" S M% e6 u* E> > Toilet Use
' p# B! m$ x0 N, ~1 [> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the: K, s1 f8 \/ N4 \' V
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit& h y/ G+ l% O) n# a: k
> > in the cubicles.
! v }% m1 ~: a9 v1 f: D5 E7 y. |> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
) `- Z5 M0 W4 ]1 t( j3 O> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
8 f( _8 W8 w% v3 @, o) Z6 h> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
8 e. ~' U# b8 ^, U6 {9 g6 P> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
5 }& f0 F& n0 H( N7 ~ z6 s5 r> > posted on the company notice board under the
: s2 I3 ~2 @; ^! x# c" w> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
4 {& K$ j& b b, g> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
9 Q; z) y) x+ S! ?' r1 @: {> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
$ l, B$ D) D! b. t> > policy.
- D2 h% |4 d& E> >
% q2 g% Y; I) i) g> > Lunch Break' L0 f0 D# B2 c6 y3 K
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
7 n( ^* h# c" H5 v. A5 e8 _> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
9 d: x3 C3 \, _( ~+ |0 [( _# o3 l8 F> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
' J: j& \2 k8 c; b6 r8 L> > maintain their average figure.
, f& d- ~. B% Y> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time3 P8 x1 y1 Q2 q7 S4 }. P. x( I, t
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.9 z1 h! \5 S4 F1 J
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are; h5 w" n0 C5 N6 d
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive; A4 w2 t+ s d A* x
> > employment experience.; w J* y, U1 c' E! L. c/ `
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,; t. S: j; B* b9 p) i
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,$ l8 h! ?7 t* T- a# g
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
- i* b9 x/ `: L' }) o> > directed elsewhere. |
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