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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:2 c8 w5 L1 S6 u2 _) B7 @# S/ y. q
> > Effective January 2007# |, _4 y+ D! m1 P6 u$ ^: ^$ {
> >1 C5 m" [2 ]1 Q1 c S, g- n
> > Dress Code
0 d9 f& ]3 H9 l1 u- _' A& ?; y- ~> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed! I1 J) N F/ W+ F4 H. e
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
, m/ v8 J6 p, Z% s7 H> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume) U- [2 e9 q8 T% o0 _4 A& @
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not: D1 N6 }& ^! y @4 q6 d
> > need a pay raise.
& `' I+ q' M6 {3 ~' Y/ K0 P> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage; X9 w4 ^2 {" G: h( s2 x
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer- I$ B: y/ f b3 a, P, U) g( F% o
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
U- N! w& `( f3 O, E( M> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you1 j9 \' ]6 @) g% n6 L
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay1 r; K3 q: w$ r
> > raise.
, C; c1 H0 ^& b4 A6 [$ g' K> >, T. |0 e7 }6 S1 V# @
> > Sick Days
& S$ J# ^" ?" e7 O3 A; R4 ]> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
( z5 e& I4 D5 V/ ]> > proof of sickness.* k6 a5 I. h) K# u. n
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able; I' f. y- W' X( h6 R4 p0 W
> > to come to work.6 H* o7 i/ c$ x6 t' X$ T' z# O
> >3 { ]# _( d5 Z" w8 I! k$ ?) A4 ]
> > Holiday Days G4 g7 E8 c P3 x( ^" R
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
) x0 w2 I3 ]3 Z+ i3 W( ~> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
8 `, q5 e4 \0 _2 \: |% ?> ># _& ?9 `/ x; ]% m5 ]! h
> > Compassionate Leave
I+ g2 M, u# O; b$ r- l) f> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
( I9 H' I3 |1 T: E> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
* D* M8 F; u3 `3 | e> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-. N) k4 }9 S& I% z# P
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
) S$ H- J. [0 O" D( x. q/ t> > In rare cases where employee involvement is8 x0 S! {0 f) l0 w1 K
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
! y5 {& j' V- K> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work5 f# X" L+ r" o2 s
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one4 [. d& C5 y6 Z1 j% n
> > hour early.
3 u3 d. B* a. S> >
( l- E3 @$ F/ G1 e2 a* V9 }> > Toilet Use
8 G+ u) E, o0 i K' N> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the8 J- H! `0 b3 E; Z' h+ [& U
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit4 w4 [8 }7 n' i0 G
> > in the cubicles.* d3 b) c0 c- D- s: l# H: u9 `
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will3 {4 e8 T7 `6 t* D8 X0 r
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle: }% ]/ G: G9 i
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.1 x x4 H' S% a+ C# m
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be8 b4 e$ q) K0 S g
> > posted on the company notice board under the. q& e3 s/ D, i' h5 S) w
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.! ~' Z- ^1 T/ l6 n. c" }
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
6 k- [4 y" P* ^5 Y> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
. m7 L; S( f! j> > policy.1 O- D' q2 m$ \1 ~) |% [
> ># k' c4 @7 c7 T9 K4 J
> > Lunch Break v- ]# c1 L/ K+ B7 ^
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
: h' w0 E$ `1 w# l> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.' S- ?2 `1 D. B$ P/ C; a
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
4 W" ^5 ~% k$ d+ F! w> > maintain their average figure.
) O ~' P3 I# w' @> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
# p0 M' B/ B' w( p& t2 \6 h. d> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
' H- X" w" t( L# A$ b; y$ V> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are W. n" n8 L i( M" e
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
5 L2 L% a, o) z$ Q> > employment experience.+ [) [- {& W! n8 F, a4 N6 n s
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
# v% t* n7 e+ K5 n/ A" c5 }* a> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,0 Q. t: ?3 H' b
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be/ J. ~0 {; h3 F- L
> > directed elsewhere. |
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