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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:( O6 z" {3 A, M) {4 f! _
> > Effective January 2007
/ U6 |& U8 _7 N5 g2 X5 z, j% P> >
y9 f7 w5 c' N9 T" ?3 w> > Dress Code* s9 H# k4 k8 r) [; T9 A
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
9 J+ I/ ~# O1 V4 m9 ~> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
0 r. ^# d. Z$ p: [$ E \> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume9 i/ M8 y$ U) g |4 m8 V% _
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
7 y% P& [$ [' K' I5 ^> > need a pay raise.0 z( p& f: F3 Q7 l: M& S6 i
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage. [7 Q! T, u" A1 P! D
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer7 u$ G- G2 u6 b0 F, S8 z2 e8 t6 H
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.; c- N2 u% _- n8 |' W2 S* c
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you) o- G7 ~( W5 t) a
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay! t5 O! g9 [8 M
> > raise.
. E' g# W$ t# b( I> >9 x& L1 {/ y2 [. G) l
> > Sick Days4 S: _/ N- _: \" v7 b% ~
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
3 x2 P9 @+ j) i% I8 |5 L> > proof of sickness.
% k3 N3 o4 s: z9 h> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able+ b1 d$ K! R- N8 H. e
> > to come to work.
' V6 A1 @4 e% y$ P& [ ~> >
% `3 ^3 a# S) O2 R) _> > Holiday Days
; n2 ]2 V+ [/ s, i, {1 p7 Q9 c> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
& _, y3 a9 m$ f+ _4 B: ~, w> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.- {$ z1 E! z0 S) q* ?
> >
, c8 G" Y/ Z5 O, {) R( M> > Compassionate Leave$ b" w5 l. |% N/ F" U' b8 C
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing4 P. A( j$ l8 @. j+ v0 K
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-/ P" p" I) ?, T" l0 Q
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
* d, e+ t& C: @> > employees attend to the arrangements.2 \$ r! d9 o7 a* U3 X
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is* E7 F+ H) ?$ o' q: Y$ l
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
' o! N: I/ }/ d7 a, {> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work! {+ h& u* X8 S! k3 M- f( B; o
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one, f- {6 E; A$ B `7 n
> > hour early.' m# }2 v! N6 O* M8 K
> >
: ?6 s6 u K8 v$ K) ?' l( d6 I> > Toilet Use f1 ?8 x# v) T6 l( g, A5 ^
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
& v& D/ R- t9 e> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
5 t6 ~( ]& ]" \8 X- _5 _> > in the cubicles.. D" b' }+ J+ L1 |% F( ]
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
3 d( N4 j* r9 k( p9 {" u. _> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
" U* G2 T& h& P- D7 @5 [> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.* e$ y( ?. @3 l" o
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be' B9 ]" r$ W# c6 |7 D1 N: u
> > posted on the company notice board under the I2 i1 \4 }, f7 H+ j
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.1 G* Z7 |% T8 ~5 a
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
1 O% R- [( K5 t7 E) q> > sanctioned under the company's mental health' e! u e5 K& o, ]# Z( m7 ?
> > policy.
- s% @ F6 A$ C" W> >; K% ~3 P% d3 h0 P9 r9 t
> > Lunch Break: M% I4 G9 q$ K
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they8 l& F; m4 `9 s
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
- H' D8 M1 z: W- y8 r8 {> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
+ D+ F( V3 t- M; |& [> > maintain their average figure.! R2 M9 F; A+ p2 o0 [
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
9 v5 a, o' g$ |% T' @+ T/ q* n1 ]> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
3 e9 M. p3 `2 u: `3 k> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
' I S; Z* P+ {: z8 u> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
8 W7 x+ i, d3 b3 K" X m> > employment experience.
9 |9 Q) l' E U9 J: U. ~> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
: ]1 l, h/ T$ b/ X# {- d2 d; \> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
, y! ~7 R+ K9 H> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
" R- G9 o% I! i- Y2 j> > directed elsewhere. |
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