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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
& c* m% o( p8 ]+ r+ `/ U> > Effective January 2007& Z5 |; ^, R% x. G9 B/ E6 ^
> >
$ K3 R7 a1 H- D+ a5 }> > Dress Code
1 V T" M+ p" J; o) e* L> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed: w5 g$ R7 U8 M" C, T3 W8 a
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
& O) L# @+ ] l; p# v> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
" [0 M1 J7 k# ^> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not2 V! s7 n7 Y0 f- @7 l' }9 j
> > need a pay raise.
1 z" c; {, Z" r. g0 R% U: p> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
; m& @4 t8 c: `- v7 B6 Z0 a> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer# I* m* }4 W& J- @4 b
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
$ m* N7 x. |1 z$ n> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you& W0 n& o- o) Y
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
0 ^, k% ^! j1 F/ g> > raise.
9 c+ }7 a2 D& C4 N5 Y- ^> >
- y% o K' P( g% H& V( g! |> > Sick Days. Z6 y/ N2 [" W" Z9 r J
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
7 G9 e$ \: D5 @: R" m) P8 M> > proof of sickness.7 e1 A. E2 ?' w2 z/ w+ z) V
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
9 m5 K. B/ u, ~ y> > to come to work.
/ ?% q- `0 V! ]$ W( S4 M5 M> >% I6 D3 z, `. C* S3 w
> > Holiday Days. w& U$ @) s0 B5 ^, q* H: i
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a6 Z. k2 X4 _; q# j$ H) A
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
@8 d& ~. Y- ]> >
' P- i/ R# [1 o. W6 o# Y> > Compassionate Leave4 |7 n V; h' }6 w
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing( \* d# j0 |, y1 @& F( z
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
( C4 c1 q8 A- z* g( N> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
5 q, y2 \/ j9 L# q8 e6 \> > employees attend to the arrangements.; t: D: b/ M0 J# v
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is+ ?+ _! ~9 g3 J% P
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
& a' f; ~2 v* Q# o) c! ]- k> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work' K* Q7 K. Y8 h8 U
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one( w# @* t2 E- O- p: T
> > hour early.
2 S5 `- _6 g- P; a8 q8 r> >
) s9 ]6 t& C- W% E> > Toilet Use
N x ?1 [1 L# b d, m: n/ _1 d> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the8 {0 |. w d5 ^
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
0 U, m# ]+ X0 s> > in the cubicles.
( K4 ]! c% P3 \/ d6 V> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
U c: \9 u: `. W> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
# u! @4 `4 A. a4 y, z> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
/ ^2 e# ^, c2 A- a# T5 }* V> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be; E b5 W$ d: g3 k; f. k& P
> > posted on the company notice board under the
1 v% ^+ A( G" @+ g+ i2 s# D> > "Chronic Offenders" category.& z4 k, @. S% M, ?' `! `
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
1 L& ], a2 m: d Y> > sanctioned under the company's mental health/ Q- A, e8 y* ]7 N& q
> > policy.
9 S8 T* G* S5 |4 R" q9 P. Q6 `> >3 H- B$ ]2 ~# C
> > Lunch Break
' F% |3 m/ U; g h* e) U> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
. x& l# e: w8 w2 n' @% C> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.6 z- h" l9 v3 R! Y7 M4 `/ D
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
) O7 u! j! t6 S! p: \+ V> > maintain their average figure." c0 U, s( W% k2 F2 I
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time; p" @7 I& d E' l2 K! D, g
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.3 x9 `2 }1 E( O: n# j
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
& _7 n5 `; L# E4 g* n& U+ L8 b> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive5 s% J) H' ~. m9 x* {
> > employment experience.& |/ L. U- T$ h) t; l; F
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,) V; a9 a1 R d6 R/ v
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
$ E) n% n8 W" c' {> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be* L* N+ b0 S. q; a" x/ x! D" Z* H
> > directed elsewhere. |
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