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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
5 S- y u! t" k8 }9 z1 }; ~> > Effective January 2007
: k* I0 K4 F! Z% s# A> >
u5 y6 N; E* t* v7 {: @> > Dress Code
+ G: J: H7 }& n- x- e) D> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed8 } H# M/ ?: Y7 r: X. f) i
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing7 U( U8 e7 _& p( M: v- l
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume) }2 V: k0 c9 [& I
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
+ J2 _) A8 `6 p5 C3 e> > need a pay raise.
9 u; M5 n- `, _1 G" q3 U3 x; G7 o8 q> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage# q# y; S+ n9 r! H" S
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
5 o1 ]; `: ~% J" U2 V7 n> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
2 f$ Z9 J) x. Y> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you% L. n; ~* L4 O. {
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
- @0 n+ d4 c# G/ u$ y> > raise.! e% `: r( k2 _& r$ ^/ V ^+ w" P9 T
> >
, X: t9 Y( a2 C' E" k> > Sick Days
4 [# f D! i. V7 |$ i- t> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as0 F: b, \, p' W9 M: o- D2 a9 _; ]# k
> > proof of sickness.; \& S1 Y9 C6 x( F
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
- I! R# n. x4 ]) ~7 z3 F> > to come to work.
% I4 T( P7 @- H8 S/ ^- w" V> ># F4 d/ K) F$ g) y z8 a
> > Holiday Days% B. Z/ h, z. V' F3 D
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
& U8 y* \0 I4 N+ O$ `> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
( B- s* B9 H; c+ `% Y> >
4 \+ W6 V3 p, v/ o( p> > Compassionate Leave
1 a. C2 [2 S, R- y> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing6 w8 [+ K6 u! W% u+ n
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
% Q, L: u% Z5 Z* H& k& e, H' @2 N> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
+ W! g( W$ c/ R# a6 y% i; G0 C/ }3 g" j> > employees attend to the arrangements.. c0 I- V- g' C) _: Q* d
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is) l* e0 V% ]- S7 K1 h, W
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the/ P* d6 g( e( u! F, ]4 d% T+ t
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
& I- [; |+ y/ I2 G. j5 H> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
! C+ @7 ^; g7 q5 }( q9 R/ x7 B> > hour early.
" ]2 q2 o/ h3 k- z* \* r' x4 P7 y5 @> >
6 J% l' T/ X7 e' \9 q+ B" u> > Toilet Use" f3 `* v3 ^# }: w1 p5 b) D
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
4 G# N! p" k3 d; o% }> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit# r( J) R( D8 v0 x
> > in the cubicles., v! i7 C2 y6 k- U; }
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will) Y8 H! H9 X$ g. a. W* Q9 Q
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
- U" K) D, ]$ A3 O/ v> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.( z ^. z; u; f; y1 q. C
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be. ^$ V( P+ t9 j, [+ J
> > posted on the company notice board under the
1 Q5 h6 J- U X y) M* @> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
2 a. I, t2 t2 g( P* F n> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
& |& l5 o; P! o4 B" v! M0 x7 q> > sanctioned under the company's mental health g$ p6 e/ q0 E2 V! L
> > policy.8 h, w; ?3 D) f3 ?* V6 m& K
> >, D4 ^. W) r& N& l
> > Lunch Break
) `% n* f, k( C Y+ j6 f> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
- `5 \% @% i% o. d- R k s> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
+ v5 Z6 p( N! a8 X: i: s> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
9 h% h# m) f) t2 Z5 s0 X# j> > maintain their average figure.7 W6 s) }2 G, _# E1 a1 S
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time* Q$ ?) Z- r* g
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
/ q; ]" P& u* ^ v7 ]> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are2 l0 R0 U6 O3 x" y
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive* o H0 @' i* Z0 G0 X7 S8 t: T1 ~
> > employment experience.
2 ~& l" ]/ @- \3 Y$ a- [0 [> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
% a) Y4 M8 ^, x/ ]> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,: a7 |" z: {9 P5 t" ]4 S' \" k" u
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be4 w9 C$ C1 O9 W H
> > directed elsewhere. |
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