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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
W+ k: U z) `) l# f" G% ?> > Effective January 2007# C4 ~* I$ B1 o" q, V% I' s
> >( t* q8 o* ?( H9 Y- ]0 `% F! Z
> > Dress Code
: U$ Y. Z( v, q6 }6 T- \> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed/ Z% J7 B/ O0 d- s3 r
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
+ Z# l& q9 @+ q# y, A> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
9 g4 j$ z& ~* ]( F8 h/ [> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
@0 @. C2 B/ y! ~- Y, _> > need a pay raise.
7 Y5 A4 F; p" y, C0 E0 o> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage4 E8 @$ A, ~ r {1 N, ^* ]- k
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
6 ~2 Y% y2 U* H& w6 r> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3 R+ N. D+ g3 k( b- a. ~> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you; g) \6 y2 R& y7 m( O
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
& l( k. l5 i# U( |* l: `: B> > raise.
9 U* O! ?: k' l; }9 f) y' Z> >
" s" h/ h- u3 T5 U1 l5 Z> > Sick Days
7 O1 P' @7 X& d/ b7 g3 j> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as2 s, L& B% D' Y, ?8 ^0 ?" z
> > proof of sickness.7 d2 g B- M; a& S0 C" w
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
! Z3 s/ P& z; K. @% B D" V' \/ }% Z> > to come to work.
3 I) h* [6 j. Y. |, g7 \ \> >3 i. V K- U, }: d$ `/ J
> > Holiday Days* p- @8 q8 ?# q e4 D& Y
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
; C# k$ F4 E. Z% R4 O, r> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
7 I5 A: W8 ]& g> >7 Q g4 L% H- T6 m4 b, F9 Q1 S
> > Compassionate Leave
- Q: [8 b+ P( b: D! X$ ?> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing, c, w4 K5 N9 E* L" l8 x
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-0 _, ?0 o7 N( `4 u
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-% r! T" q1 K. v- h, K, [2 K6 x
> > employees attend to the arrangements.7 N8 W& `1 u. {& v. h7 o+ ~ \$ Y+ @
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
( [+ a& U9 \4 X+ V# z& Q9 B> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the% S0 \! V+ a: r3 A
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work1 a: R5 T' P* |; R
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one% _ A- N6 x$ j( \
> > hour early.0 v# |$ t6 Z' { \4 e' y- j' W
> >) }* a5 Y0 I+ B" O ^
> > Toilet Use- N& t" Y p. N( C4 H' ]
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the. o) j; f- j' P ~5 s/ M
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit* m- w3 D$ S1 D ]" m
> > in the cubicles.1 J2 C/ Z# @$ f
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
$ o- {; _1 Z3 S% W> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
3 z3 I) e/ S" r6 a( c> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
! u9 s4 q; P* j( F> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be' F/ q: \/ q% J
> > posted on the company notice board under the
' H" ]3 i! O0 ?0 H) V> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
2 Q+ A }8 S. I R9 `> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
' m& F4 k- B6 `8 D3 O: J/ G0 _> > sanctioned under the company's mental health6 v* D9 X' S# `1 J
> > policy.
; l+ X) [7 R' N> >
9 }+ i( k8 T- u' V' G+ b' k> > Lunch Break+ N4 u4 H/ ]0 d: _; t# Z0 N
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they% U5 S6 J5 @+ C+ S6 x
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
- o; j5 C! ?6 Q5 n* i- C% I9 s> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to$ k/ R3 k" `) j0 k
> > maintain their average figure./ i# X8 a, @& S& s
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
. ?- I- i# w4 Q. Y) ^> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
2 b; F1 k6 [% E& d" a> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are, g' \' k% F6 b0 \) }8 Q) w2 ^& Y$ R
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive% `9 e+ X9 o/ T3 p: Z
> > employment experience./ o: V2 |, D4 S- C
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,3 ?9 r/ E5 I- \. V
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
8 \6 v- G/ J; K9 `> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
- S& H' o1 H$ s7 q1 F9 y9 g> > directed elsewhere. |
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