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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
* k" s% @5 X& ]+ c+ v% W> > Effective January 2007
5 ] e4 g0 q! w" f7 p) `0 r> >
; y- z1 k( W/ M, V& {: `> > Dress Code5 {' F5 W- ^( B: h I. ?8 P
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed' G2 v: m4 _: n( N& Q
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing0 |! C8 {$ t1 [: z) c% V
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
6 U% \$ A- Z& Q) d> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not+ t% A4 w1 ~8 K8 c2 E' w) J
> > need a pay raise.
9 b8 g" Z3 j. G0 A; z. H9 V> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
0 a, P& H- p8 q! O/ {5 q3 z* R2 {> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer3 ?2 s+ m9 m& i' o9 `
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
' n8 T$ i3 L' w4 s8 n% {* ~- X> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
& D5 C" s" A: ^' x. D7 D$ x> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
8 S9 z r$ \0 K6 D: g. {- D> > raise.5 F5 W( O" d* s8 [! ^9 Y5 g
> >% u" k; d+ c" _1 X& a; w# V' r6 E, @
> > Sick Days
/ t, u6 o, x5 J( o; \> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
2 k3 C4 ~% m. Q; E2 A> > proof of sickness.9 I( s ?( L0 i9 l
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
7 X' I* C+ p" U" ~> > to come to work.' w+ p* n% |3 z- q$ ]
> >7 [% p$ y+ f1 {- |& \
> > Holiday Days# y1 D7 } s0 r( w
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a5 L _; o% [( ~ E! T0 k
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.% X; D' n& }9 t$ ?6 d
> >
2 V ?! s* o/ o> > Compassionate Leave: I8 A& x) ^7 E
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
8 z% r5 ~4 {% r: N> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
+ u2 `4 K L. Z; J' r. _2 q> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-) L6 l+ |: [) C
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
. [4 y0 W. m7 X' D! D> > In rare cases where employee involvement is; {2 d: i; _1 i ^) s y- B$ w0 H
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the$ Y/ A) |$ X/ z
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
* T& ^/ `- I2 B7 w# T> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
0 C7 S7 x; E+ I! r! w5 q> > hour early.- w/ O- U, m" E& E! `; k9 h( o
> >
% s; P- Z6 ]' [1 B. l' q> > Toilet Use
# g4 n8 l, u3 D6 N> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
5 I8 G. M- q1 b: T% `> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit* G K3 ?+ X' h
> > in the cubicles.- P) k1 n4 y4 [0 ?, g6 t5 }2 z
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
# @* S1 M% G B9 e> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
9 `& F: w5 Z" {7 Q> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.( @% B0 U9 R7 J* G$ ?
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be9 v; I+ {. ^# l& O! j4 F
> > posted on the company notice board under the
" H Y: }) V% @> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
' u5 a$ a- s% u. x2 [& Y1 t> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be! ~- l- A$ o+ I- x0 r* _; y) W- S% L* j
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health% q U: G( L9 c; K5 \7 _
> > policy.
8 r" @ W3 L( j/ p3 j" B9 Q3 J> >( w. p6 _" ~. R% j4 n; t
> > Lunch Break
4 L3 M8 [) I2 \$ ^/ t> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they/ I* c3 @! @$ h% U/ j7 z
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.% u: {+ T5 n2 u' ?
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
5 s, ~, v, A9 o& B% d) U> > maintain their average figure.+ {% O2 F+ L* ~, ]$ P- G* `9 e
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time3 F V1 J) k/ a5 }) I3 ]
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
9 S1 y) f$ |. y> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are9 U- L0 X* A1 d: {& z. o8 e( b
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive7 a! F( f4 i- w" J) ~8 e; q3 `! W
> > employment experience.
7 B. D) V8 Q: x) b> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
3 e7 ~! z2 ~# e0 m3 N> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,- m, B* _+ \2 u7 N* N8 \" b' u
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be2 b6 {; _& `) @
> > directed elsewhere. |
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