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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:7 h! [. R# y6 L' X
> > Effective January 2007# |, ]* h6 m6 n' I$ ?; \8 _; @
> >; N+ p3 }' l9 [1 y
> > Dress Code4 ~# w7 `5 R7 c+ {( b# e- L
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
; D7 X( a" w( c+ t l> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
4 K, R8 t. N8 s6 P> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
% Q: c& E; m8 A0 Z$ e+ p> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not1 N* U0 ~, f% z6 d+ o5 t
> > need a pay raise.
1 [1 }8 G8 M- _/ S1 K8 p! _> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage* a, @* {3 |+ C: g2 s2 B
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer& J5 [0 V1 h# T3 t
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
1 ]& ]7 V& j) F' T. M5 q> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
! n6 [" _# {. ] u5 e> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
, O, A; H' v( U( O> > raise.) ^2 N3 V3 q' R; P
> >+ I0 [4 p: z7 h. ?
> > Sick Days
$ g! W; D, \- [6 f& _> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as# G" N, F0 L" Q6 G
> > proof of sickness.. A4 R2 S4 d9 Z9 a: G- _
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able: `; ^4 [7 m) L" V) o8 B
> > to come to work.- n9 f2 @8 G4 j
> >' Z8 c6 [5 S8 ?2 v) z
> > Holiday Days4 @! N w1 f% {" @
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a% y/ W: \3 X s* C7 N& b
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
- } b, Z z; Q' r; w Z( d> >
; c/ R$ J5 m9 I$ r> > Compassionate Leave
, ]( K5 _6 h% B- i: O> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing) i. W& k' k- j: ?' P3 a
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-5 j+ I0 n! Z6 [
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-1 p* I5 r" u9 L$ m" z3 {4 D
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
5 O& i3 R4 o! K% C# T7 g- D> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
1 G4 P# F) w0 C> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the7 [% B7 ?! S2 D9 q( O' p
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
! |) P* w1 S7 y( _> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one& X' R" L; f7 `$ \" w) ^
> > hour early.
0 y5 B( {# r/ [# {3 U> >1 H8 B* i$ E7 F$ s" j2 ?3 j5 s' A
> > Toilet Use
: a4 X# V V4 b- I1 G0 Y) v> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the8 O; a) A7 l! [* ], k
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
% P4 L2 r" u! U( W2 R3 H5 M. U+ k> > in the cubicles.
( i1 \# `# S. o) C. v> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
1 i$ W9 j, }" A" \6 r* r> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
4 E3 n6 q, [0 B2 }- `' N> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.4 O$ ?" J- _1 ]" t
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be% P0 K, `# f) U! U7 b% M
> > posted on the company notice board under the
0 a6 V; }# m b1 i> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
. b5 w% C2 r$ Y! Z- \, S# Z: ^> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
/ @; v( f x( ]: A2 Y7 `> > sanctioned under the company's mental health$ ]- a1 p7 y; ]* T5 A* s5 I+ X" r
> > policy./ B# X6 F; S# t0 I1 E
> >" f* [# ` P+ ?. O. Z
> > Lunch Break6 E% W! |: S |2 M) u
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they$ q6 o: Z* M T+ i1 e' q Q. w
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.4 |' L! ~) k# I6 q* k( ^
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to* S' _ z' ^& _" g& ?( s6 w
> > maintain their average figure.
- h8 k5 Y( u* s( ?> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time! j9 n9 ]" c" ]( t3 ]2 B2 ^! U
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast., S9 O5 t5 \. {* c! y$ N
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are1 e+ X0 G! ?* w
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive0 f+ T( G% \( f1 m% Q2 v
> > employment experience.
, T1 D2 }/ P, D7 S> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,. O5 t% q/ m) q% Y/ ?( k+ U; o
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,( ^7 [1 o* r) J2 z, q) h0 D
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be0 r+ ?* s% G3 {* Z
> > directed elsewhere. |
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