|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:
4 T L" t5 h- h; c> > Effective January 2007
5 W5 y; |+ ?4 P* R- z> >* y, x$ i+ Q5 q* R& f9 B. @
> > Dress Code
$ i! o1 _( x c" |9 g$ Q3 p {) s6 n> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
. m9 o4 s- ]/ X, k' B) J> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing/ i" Q( W' h6 y9 R3 L
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
' ]$ L7 ]) X+ g2 c' d> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
( P- @4 |% f/ k( Y> > need a pay raise.
! x }6 ~) {+ q0 ]3 o A> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage. `0 n, E. f& o
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
/ P1 v$ `4 Q/ ^7 v: [> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
! J/ B* Y3 k+ @. @. J> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
4 }+ ]( `2 U" d0 n/ K> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
4 u" r3 S6 A. ~: D> > raise.! W" S* `3 t9 i6 H$ }
> >& E' t) a9 s) |5 S" r% R
> > Sick Days
/ A* m8 g% N1 Z4 a# _> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
+ W K) j! x1 t4 t1 y> > proof of sickness.! s* M) ~- R* X4 `7 c! ?; \
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able8 P. L) Z5 U& b' Z9 h# i- t
> > to come to work.0 B7 s+ O5 ~. Z: l; ~
> >* r+ f9 ]% c5 W" ^; v3 ^9 i
> > Holiday Days
: I$ d8 K7 k+ T( [ E2 e' J8 r! M# M> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
6 T) o8 U7 t; B> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.' O/ M0 p- t! Z
> >% `* j: x; b8 b8 S( |
> > Compassionate Leave
& y. d- ~6 A& J }9 Y5 O b> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
( O8 S5 \- O: {8 u: F$ h9 M> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
0 P, R9 J, c. }6 [& N- S1 W# S* ]- t n> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-/ ^4 {5 s5 g+ J' j
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
; Z8 V# J0 s {- Y& s; _. [5 t3 r> > In rare cases where employee involvement is) y B2 M, c9 V5 Q1 R9 l: g( t
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
* `0 p2 V2 J0 j> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work. L; d: A, h8 U9 ]8 x
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one: O; W5 |% B# R
> > hour early.
- b, q, h$ c3 I* ~& \. T6 k, s6 ?+ N> >
6 s7 j* D. p5 d( i4 U, t% B0 t> > Toilet Use
$ k5 y" s! F, _0 S6 {* S> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
! ^' U& y4 t: A5 e. E! R* d7 ?' o> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit0 h7 x! s9 e: o+ b* V
> > in the cubicles.
1 ?# W5 I/ t7 q; b9 Q> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will9 o0 N( N- v" b5 X5 L! ~; s
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle& L1 a \* H: V1 K$ l; U' c
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.8 p" p; X4 k/ B+ _3 f0 M
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be0 T2 q6 h4 ?' e1 M9 p; v
> > posted on the company notice board under the
% ?- a! |8 l k# a5 w> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
X6 s4 r0 [9 C/ c# r> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be7 F# Q! P; |$ @$ I
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
0 ~; w, P3 q% `) x F! b> > policy.
) A, ?4 U, O- T; H> >
% X( Q" Q( u* S0 L" R> > Lunch Break
3 s" i6 k$ Z# a9 B, @2 D$ L> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they/ c" }* t# V2 C2 |9 [
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
4 \2 ?5 S6 G8 J$ _& G( T> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
1 s8 Q8 y2 ^7 J4 U> > maintain their average figure.
! q5 V7 B$ W4 g> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
& s5 O7 P! g% |7 G5 w> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
$ H5 y# M) Z7 J5 m& ?> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
0 g$ } P3 M: |9 A> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive& }0 @& n4 M6 E$ [: U# N% m. l
> > employment experience./ Z' e; g/ k6 k9 b l
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
) H: f. e' M& B) `5 g> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
5 b2 S$ z! `& J% H E ^4 l> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
5 |) |1 F5 Q+ p1 E5 ]- `> > directed elsewhere. |
|
