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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
/ c4 O3 ?& E; w6 Y3 w2 ^# v9 Z) _; {> > Effective January 2007
, b. \0 D/ e- G9 \& \) K* ~> >
% s* O; ^3 w5 z* V$ A' a/ N& y> > Dress Code
3 v- l/ G/ I3 B5 e2 L> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
' T R: }# D& q; Z' H$ F8 [> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
, M1 K5 a' o: P X: \" l> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume8 D' L- O" f& x, E$ z$ h! n
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not3 V$ K+ i7 b8 a. ~. Y- G9 r3 a
> > need a pay raise.
# y2 F \$ x' Z+ L' x+ x> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage' \0 ~' w( h+ }0 N+ ^
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
% b% U `7 }6 ~> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.2 T* ~7 y1 }/ L
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
' a" u v0 o) i' g3 E> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay7 f% j# T* Q; `. N. [- v0 Y7 F0 S
> > raise.
: J: t9 j9 w7 B: i. D> >
% Y3 l0 r9 g( N y2 T& y8 e+ L3 C> > Sick Days% y9 @) P2 W+ \" ^$ `! y) J, z w
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as: L( N2 d w8 c' x
> > proof of sickness.
: H4 A. @+ f2 H' m$ o. x( c> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
8 v5 M* U/ ?% t8 S9 S* x; R> > to come to work.
8 K7 \$ d$ `, a: S$ g> >& i. V% k5 U1 O7 c7 X% g
> > Holiday Days
- ?' X0 G$ i+ D9 Y> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a0 U' o. x' a0 s& @& `) l
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.( D5 {+ R2 ^' C \ `# H, l1 R {
> >! H7 U( g4 j S7 i
> > Compassionate Leave
9 a& b% W+ j1 ~" @> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
) w$ T6 r% |7 F* V) U' u2 T> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-" C( ], B' T' N" n9 r
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
! t$ f4 J7 V( t$ E> > employees attend to the arrangements.: W) M1 _) c, E n0 {7 r
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is8 u" [1 }; G0 ?1 G0 C! F& ~
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
! C8 y8 A5 D5 @% c- @6 S9 v- f> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work/ h: y9 U. x( V0 u" s" n
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one* w1 o. l% d# ]/ B6 P
> > hour early.
7 X3 g0 ?+ G6 A! H7 g* W$ a" g3 d> > X. [( m1 U F+ a8 @2 f
> > Toilet Use
+ P7 G( m7 L: S> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the/ Q* y/ B% i) w' {* J' @8 x+ c
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit7 r+ Z8 D3 h ^+ `# o @* e( R5 E
> > in the cubicles.8 F8 U8 j P7 P& u4 x# e
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will- N9 c' M9 U1 h" B7 p2 m% |! m3 j
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
+ {6 E9 y" y+ X* d+ ^& c> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
' ~, o# a. z2 q" U y `! C- z> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
7 a( E/ G! ]) S! K> > posted on the company notice board under the
' x% s+ K2 J8 v o> > "Chronic Offenders" category.: R# _/ n3 x1 r" d
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be6 F Q V% x: c7 @' L2 M3 ?0 F' {% J6 _
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
4 J4 Z! R L2 H+ ?> > policy.
/ c2 a/ V& E- }3 Y( {$ q9 Z0 M> >
7 _1 i, K Q' q! f6 F$ m> > Lunch Break9 l( g1 E l4 m7 k* d! ?6 k
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
, K: X8 |" i) R5 j/ b> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.9 d7 m; \) d# C- k0 [
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
) e) m- @5 b! X9 l7 f- @> > maintain their average figure.3 D" m4 B: u5 {- \0 X2 n
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
- B+ Z; w: U K> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
) U! N( p$ H+ f5 T: }) X> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are* D' w* x7 @- |- z7 w9 a
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive6 h# N& B- Y A' q8 A- i) r# ]8 T
> > employment experience.! N6 ?9 H3 J) D! [; B; ]
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
: M6 h8 \ i a> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,( f8 h- a3 n- @9 h. X& F% v
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be- s+ w0 l; v; z0 `
> > directed elsewhere. |
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