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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:3 }# s7 z# w) e1 p2 I( S" L
> > Effective January 2007& F# o! j& ~& D* z% S* N% }8 N/ N
> >/ d3 ? Y9 N7 Y5 c6 |
> > Dress Code
" }. ^7 o/ L1 P: X> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed9 F) E& o2 b- D2 N
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
% f& x, u. k. w1 B1 L) ~> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
8 j8 `( ~( a. T G- n/ v( o9 P> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
0 E: B; r0 M( V0 [> > need a pay raise.1 @" ]: ]! x( m6 R d0 j1 E
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
% F" ^( Q) a! x+ v6 o' ~$ a> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
, M: Q% g( z) e) K# O4 D# |> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.+ u; j4 |! O; g1 E8 ^
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you2 ?5 `; H4 f( Y5 A: }0 J; U7 Q
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay. H1 d1 q4 S' W
> > raise.
- |8 n( {$ u2 S4 ~! o& Q, G) u; b' k> >( V& ?6 w5 k- [- K8 E$ \" d- W4 z
> > Sick Days) E$ U. s5 h8 ?7 F
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
4 A/ V6 v" w J> > proof of sickness.
, T, h# G& B9 q, }> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
9 m: E3 B, m$ {> > to come to work.8 S/ ]; Q) R, @, `+ U
> >, c/ ^9 f6 s: T+ W9 X
> > Holiday Days& V, j7 m, ^ r. ~. w
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a1 Y, |2 s2 s7 w# k- {& f
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday./ k8 t: m8 j2 {
> >
' K8 v& s" J/ I$ L% {3 N7 }> > Compassionate Leave
+ M5 n1 P/ x% r0 {4 W; ~> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
) h/ @5 x9 D/ @# Q/ [- u> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-7 n" w6 s% O! u* }, Y+ r2 G: ]/ D
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-& @- i9 E! C8 n* }4 v
> > employees attend to the arrangements.9 z- D* g/ U% s2 h! A5 V0 o1 L
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
2 X/ X" l) C: L- ^: X/ D, g> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the/ }& L( r% [8 n
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
9 b, B4 g; I' ` Q6 D3 J9 I> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one0 t6 K# k/ v' S% m6 z4 }/ _
> > hour early.: Z% ^! L6 X6 e. W( j. x
> >$ H1 v+ [9 t" G7 c/ K
> > Toilet Use2 b: B$ d$ X5 s
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
, z& x% l% m$ z6 F& L& c> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit# E# v4 p- Z3 d& R- S- T1 ?
> > in the cubicles.
+ C2 B, J" e1 r0 \* j5 i. {> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will* V$ O( U% ]7 t# T. ]. Z
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle0 M* @ V j" E) Y, j1 l2 F% s
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken./ n: N8 C1 ]# T7 o4 Y/ b
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
$ Q( x/ l- G; v4 R: r2 m! b, R6 q> > posted on the company notice board under the+ t7 |- g0 G# M+ H2 F) q* r) ^/ B
> > "Chronic Offenders" category." N, p* d! `# e
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
% a# H5 s: |/ t> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
& H" r$ X8 y, T& B t> > policy.
0 `% V. p% S" e% f3 o: {& O> >" [+ x# C1 |9 B& F' H
> > Lunch Break
. l% h& e$ w0 ?( w> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they% P$ o$ N7 h9 @" `- C% K
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
7 p- W+ |+ M5 Z1 z: A> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to' ` @, |$ Z0 W& w( _ I( G9 J
> > maintain their average figure.
5 ~8 T @8 N) z2 @+ o4 _> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
4 b1 a$ S8 ?! |$ _# @% n> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.) b/ I2 s# E" A" t
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
, V' x) I) l& X/ F> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive7 s; U# e/ F* H3 p
> > employment experience.: \' P! n9 z1 n
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
3 D0 A( }. o, T _) L> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
& \: B6 z+ k% s* {. P> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be# N. I6 p9 J5 R- X3 d, u
> > directed elsewhere. |
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