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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:1 {3 u1 q7 z4 P' B7 q) m+ y
> > Effective January 2007 C' q8 j! c c; |* u4 J0 y: K
> > } d8 q% `, ~- @+ M: }0 j
> > Dress Code
' M/ N/ ~5 G; _% r> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed( }1 q/ G1 `. i' F9 E/ a
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
/ E% _1 g1 A9 b9 w> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume' O# ^( W) h& P# g
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not" T% N- U2 x r5 ?5 I+ |
> > need a pay raise.
6 E7 e8 g; e% y0 y# Z0 t, q) b' e: W> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
- }0 ?4 K, R+ P! m$ V> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
- V7 [1 _, y( b8 p% o> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3 I; \- X2 Q; G+ `> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
h1 n M. g9 u* B% P: o$ B> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay+ ~" P% C# i3 ^
> > raise.
9 [' o/ r/ c# h/ r, P* s6 i> >. ]6 W! X) N( B
> > Sick Days
9 m& p! `3 H1 Q! w! K> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
8 o0 i& ?$ `2 V: {> > proof of sickness." O/ y0 t- O6 e/ P6 P* d
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
3 K$ c4 @& U5 q) C g7 [, T! r> > to come to work.- r8 G& S6 Z" b: f; {
> >+ [1 ^, n0 A. Q* v( A v7 ^6 A
> > Holiday Days3 [/ x$ _6 T& D7 k
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
0 ]% D: @5 s% J/ Q0 z> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.2 F [0 x- Q2 T
> >% N3 h$ G( W* ^1 v! v4 r: @) l$ @
> > Compassionate Leave
6 g# I: G+ d$ E) n& Z> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
0 G4 r& m0 t: u> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- h/ P7 l \. C- {% g/ Z. z5 D
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-* @# Y6 O' I/ c
> > employees attend to the arrangements.. b, k/ _8 l& V" z- S" J; B
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
9 C; s# I' a' Q2 M3 O> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the4 a# T. {$ j4 R: _% m0 ?- s
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work' h# e! s3 ^' {& w
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
% M, S. N; y5 y0 [! [> > hour early.: o3 u( K# ~1 w* C( ?/ `
> >7 X5 U2 ~& ]8 y5 T n+ p
> > Toilet Use, }) S6 \* h& C3 F' E t
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the; d, r: ^- b" J$ K1 R
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit( a7 P. R& a" |8 S9 m$ z$ q. L1 P5 Q
> > in the cubicles.
3 v! m7 G/ x( G* D& B> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will: X1 }( f# D1 W
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
h# l! ~5 U$ c$ Y% ]8 m* t( c> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
/ {% X& G; A5 q! O7 n3 }: Z5 v> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be" S% {# P0 a# V
> > posted on the company notice board under the
: U! W1 S" }3 p% ^% f" F* K> > "Chronic Offenders" category.3 ~& l3 |! k2 @8 H) i
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
& Q* ~1 E. U0 i* o> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
1 d& P7 L# ?4 g5 L$ b- t) n3 l> > policy.+ u N' g8 Q6 o
> >; x; e, W& \8 v3 h% E2 @. u$ q
> > Lunch Break" x% e8 z( E8 R! o
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
2 x# [9 V) P& q* m/ [> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.4 t3 y) I5 ~' D! D
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to1 h: `9 ~: Q9 J) {/ I7 j
> > maintain their average figure.
# W0 }; ?# _) l> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
6 E6 W; e$ O( D9 Y1 S& E> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.0 V7 A3 K6 I7 C# g+ p1 P
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
5 X% O7 y/ ~ O% D: N3 g- }* J' R> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
( y. P* o7 s7 M> > employment experience.! \) P1 L2 B4 ?' r- z) U
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
, K: X4 P- N# D" J- q5 ]! u> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
/ B2 t7 }# l% u0 @! o2 P7 l: R> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be: P& ^# Q* d4 p
> > directed elsewhere. |
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