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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:5 J, h5 Y0 N; j: E m
> > Effective January 2007' h0 l+ y' e1 w3 R8 N& G
> >
( t B" W( K) w1 Z! j. G2 i, K4 U> > Dress Code
$ w! n- I$ G' V j+ K5 E> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
; |0 Z7 v# Q6 [! v7 z> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
* O. m/ g+ \1 D8 [ u" [; P> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume! r, n; {" W3 c: P/ _# u/ o
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not u# n0 [; a" L' ?% [
> > need a pay raise.2 i% I* L3 C6 w5 x( r$ i- k4 S7 H6 K& _
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
" i2 H7 F& Q$ T0 u) l! e' k> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer2 ], S$ ^( W9 F. ~" t" l' f* T
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
; P+ D- H) w r5 z( Y, Y> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you: K' @* @1 y3 E1 r+ p0 X
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay/ n5 |& b! b7 F) _3 ^
> > raise.
3 D/ [+ X( ]6 c5 ^ `7 t> >
. ?8 t$ n- H4 L( @% s# u a4 f0 @> > Sick Days& o3 G1 X/ p7 K5 w4 P/ ^
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
* ], t8 v% a# B0 h> > proof of sickness.
, ~* x$ \& n4 z" l> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able: Y0 [) u( V- b: n# e5 B5 p
> > to come to work.
. V, m1 @; i* G& X% b> >
& C# X4 f! I) ~! X! V) t5 C> > Holiday Days: {" k3 s& w8 e: y4 i
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a! \) A' b, q K9 d' S
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
- J5 l: Q+ o, v: L4 f0 Z/ |> >
% a- p( R" C9 {' f! H) I> > Compassionate Leave3 o" n, I) u- J
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
' |+ v% A7 H' c( j! X> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-* B( X' y; z+ i( e" C/ E3 @( D0 c
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-; T( Y T8 R% [. y4 q K% s/ J
> > employees attend to the arrangements.! Z6 _3 a4 c, j. L- b1 z5 t7 z
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
( d1 W5 p- x- [! v* q% W> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
$ E) l5 l7 A/ t. P! S4 H> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work) F2 ]3 i/ \! p1 }, [0 F
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one8 N l9 B0 W/ W: i3 b& X
> > hour early.7 ]8 r4 E$ `* j( y. m
> >: ~ X8 @5 Y) [! T3 T
> > Toilet Use0 k- E" c0 Q$ l
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the0 O3 `9 O5 E$ q# r4 d, v8 |
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit* A$ g2 E2 M; _( s0 V
> > in the cubicles.9 v) D% o& k( n! t$ v) G( U3 D
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
. \% F. u& |3 ?) c" k> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
4 _3 }, a; G/ I# s; Q+ x9 V2 }: W4 q1 Z> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
0 a( ?/ b- o) W# A& Q0 w> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
0 m! @. ^( z( k3 i> > posted on the company notice board under the
. Y \, Q; r; b6 h> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
( h" i+ H( X- ?+ C! g8 Z> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
8 _. J; K, H, c2 p4 w/ x> > sanctioned under the company's mental health4 c1 Y! g2 S7 i: s2 v, ^ I$ x
> > policy.
3 P! z% R; W/ T+ l9 m> >
4 s7 F G/ m& W- X7 X9 ^> > Lunch Break
2 W T* z0 I( @" f. G4 N0 K> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they0 k) B- V) V: H! q8 e
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.0 b4 F; n) N: p0 O8 p7 ~2 ~
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to$ N) L ^9 y& a( k
> > maintain their average figure.2 g v' x) A. X) [
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
3 S0 n# A: V" ]; c" C> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
7 e$ m4 c) _% y6 Q, D0 w> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
) Q) T# N" q1 C0 S# M> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive1 Y& u3 i: ~ w4 k8 k3 V
> > employment experience.
2 n3 h: w7 _4 f; x2 c> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
5 A' h: U- D% \2 J" B: r> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
0 t, i2 Y/ `+ d! ^: x) ^* J> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
9 a1 R1 o1 y! r> > directed elsewhere. |
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