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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
. N* O3 p M0 D4 g0 b> > Effective January 2007. D% l! x0 _! V
> >) l; R1 ~9 E# D4 j3 H, q4 Q6 z
> > Dress Code8 Q' A: Y2 M/ q1 b& z' b
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
' _- i* t% i4 K* N2 b4 P> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing8 \: p0 ~6 t' W$ R
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume) [8 q& Q( A4 m* V9 y; E$ M9 K
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not, y2 e$ k4 v" F
> > need a pay raise.
4 s+ P/ Q: x" {" h* h: U> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
3 ~1 H- ]: J( [# l> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
5 z8 f6 p, Q9 f; I6 m5 t* P9 J$ X8 l> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.* ~# u! S1 n( U" A; m& }# S8 t4 ~+ `
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you& B; O$ A. I" E
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
( ?. _# `& L- @5 V" p% h, t> > raise.( c% W' @1 z# v
> >1 e( M2 S; \; Y( x; Q! Y
> > Sick Days
/ W8 I* {8 n" h. v; Z9 I2 o2 a* X> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as2 Y. y+ j2 `8 ?! z
> > proof of sickness.& {4 e7 s1 P; `* U$ X! u4 d
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able% v, ^7 u O. [ Y
> > to come to work.; c% M- S' s' |
> >
: n. h: O% T& j H. ]7 G> > Holiday Days
0 U5 n5 o+ y }+ {" G> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a9 c! n6 M9 q* c% Y6 z% l
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.7 g1 Z; [8 i6 y$ D) K' Y' a' r: y
> >
[# F4 w$ p* `7 Q> > Compassionate Leave" O2 K7 Z8 }4 C" D+ |$ M
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing/ j- `' G: x- `) v9 `9 e
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
8 M; P% P, D$ x4 Z3 I6 ^' d, a> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-9 |% B: H& b% W# }
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
% Q% V; B. f0 C7 g) x9 S# c7 V> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
0 t9 {0 c( m: Q) R' W> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the' y+ V0 k1 j4 I; o) S+ z9 ~
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work5 u0 t- o2 P w4 _1 X( Q b: a$ n
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one2 w% A" l0 |% u/ o2 ]
> > hour early.. i4 @+ f. E+ z) G/ n1 W4 W, P
> >! o% b4 Q9 z; D& T, |& a; C5 f" i
> > Toilet Use
5 h- u: b( u7 M/ y, p( Y( X% M! }> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
( v' B3 V- m- S4 ]2 Y> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit, w7 G" e9 {0 A: }4 S* s1 Q/ }
> > in the cubicles.
+ S# N3 x: J+ e b/ c' \- y0 c" h9 O2 u> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will% U" B. W: O) C4 |1 u
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
# n+ z# U6 [1 \" ]3 s> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
s0 G2 C" v& F+ n> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
$ N; ?2 v, `/ ^> > posted on the company notice board under the
4 e% A8 \% q5 O* G% W) Z# |; w, x> > "Chronic Offenders" category.2 X9 b" h; m% K1 ^6 m" o f1 k
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
8 }9 B/ S& g/ I/ R. t2 |6 G; |" t> > sanctioned under the company's mental health; I# w$ _% b$ {. _1 E/ J; |
> > policy.2 x# n) r6 V9 T
> >
, X# V9 B8 R, g% H1 |3 p! \> > Lunch Break. p9 Q+ I) O' W- ~. e
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they) M2 d- c' s: l7 r# p4 I r W- z
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
0 g* k e, @* ]7 ?, J/ B3 M> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to+ _$ m9 g- d" j8 v
> > maintain their average figure.# h* q$ a2 T; `1 l- ~9 g0 y9 m
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time! b8 m* q9 Q1 _" N( y$ f d
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
y6 [! Z9 J& b> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
% w% I9 Z4 O; e9 `% ]0 T> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive4 X+ W3 |1 h) ]# U4 g
> > employment experience.! z7 [1 F5 X: `2 Q
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,! W, `. U; T, L& ~3 G* ]
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
! ^9 M( O2 s {0 u! z> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
& f; T) H5 v, j# E> > directed elsewhere. |
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