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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
9 |5 Y3 G" y. x7 P2 u( ?# m1 I( P> > Effective January 2007 }: @1 l) Q3 R. N( s3 |
> >
2 `' l. v5 C9 @' ~, z9 z+ ?8 G> > Dress Code
% `" [$ s5 v5 \' O) m: p> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
- M0 V( i5 K6 Z- Z5 Q. a> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
8 ~' r" W8 u7 @, i3 G6 m" v, y> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume; d+ o5 u9 w( P; q: {# b& e
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
) i0 c4 Y) ?% Q7 L R% I> > need a pay raise.) Y; K# E& V- } ~5 ?2 R/ u
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage& Y G9 k, I- b
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer; g" r, d" | q: u& W0 F4 }
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
% r- D" ?, I) e2 C> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
2 s; u5 s- N; y( _ ^; x> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay6 C1 ~; b6 C- F: Z T
> > raise." o& _" Y! R) O# \9 G1 z( `1 {
> >
" Y- n5 ~9 y$ E9 i' B5 `5 w4 B8 R> > Sick Days
& u* H o9 X4 A8 o2 \> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
! v, L% h" W* ^& X* @5 N> > proof of sickness.
* }2 T$ |7 }" x> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able0 l$ k3 c! D4 m- e5 z
> > to come to work.' a: p5 G7 p* K. p9 t! |7 Y) Z
> >2 c/ L# z! _5 f) i6 D( _+ A
> > Holiday Days" z, {! G$ Y0 _5 X& Z3 Y. ?% F
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
4 E4 X) V6 v- }$ R( a$ R> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday." b C1 Z$ o( L2 I0 u I& b
> >
& v" K& n: b; ^/ u. R> > Compassionate Leave
) H4 c& \+ j1 X> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing; l2 K* x3 G! G: O% _7 t
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-9 f( i" n* J$ u* g0 H9 u
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-$ T" ]# [+ f6 d1 H! Z$ c
> > employees attend to the arrangements.: C5 U$ x4 ^& r! R& r( B& n
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is# n% ~5 `( D# S& a1 o4 Z% R
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the6 p# m- B8 E# H
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work4 r8 P* ?1 S& A* R r& L" v
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one& f2 V) M2 `& P; y- v: M* i4 X! f: C
> > hour early.9 b) P7 ]1 }: p& T7 w2 [
> >
7 o/ s6 Z5 N2 @; ^$ ^$ U> > Toilet Use4 G4 d" V' a/ z- Y
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
# O& B' T) `; D; F, h' T> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
6 ^# {4 x4 N: ~- H> > in the cubicles.
1 v) x% A) b' R, C0 t5 i5 V, D> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
1 u. J) x; J: t. X9 [> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle; t2 h; |% t' A& B: k
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.+ l' ~6 D+ i: o+ C/ B3 O9 ^, P
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be) t( e" \' \ G# h7 I3 ?1 O
> > posted on the company notice board under the
/ {0 J" V& u: E9 o> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
" n% m. ~# S8 h5 N- H% _> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be# p/ ?* Z/ T2 u
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health% m1 i/ x1 I6 E3 N1 d4 L% y
> > policy.
" m" ^- ^2 I1 z6 T; `> >
/ r/ g j4 n: o# C. l6 y> > Lunch Break7 f! `4 p) q. U1 e- C. C7 }
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
+ z% @% u7 m' S+ N3 Y) @> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.2 q" s& T u7 b% b: v# K* v7 H6 b
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
6 H' ]4 X$ h2 H2 \; E3 N; y6 a> > maintain their average figure.
6 V# g- Y5 x( H1 o7 e& O> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
# r) S# Y/ j& L" ]1 r2 g> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.4 t# Z2 w4 f/ D1 r/ H9 b
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
. e: }) N) x! y$ V+ ^1 d1 w> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive9 K5 n# P( N/ i6 U {3 A
> > employment experience.: K: s8 a8 T# y* E) [ H
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,; P9 W9 g7 e8 t
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,! b" A8 Q6 \2 ]$ r
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
; e9 b% i: f" Y [, [1 q> > directed elsewhere. |
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