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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:" Q6 Z5 u: I& j' S0 Z9 V! o/ s
> > Effective January 2007
% g! z( g, C5 Z6 n2 {% t> >( D) e9 A. p8 Z+ V+ i E
> > Dress Code
P& n0 c: i ^1 }- S, l I2 `6 Y> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed; ?4 ^2 P. V5 a# F8 Y
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing G4 @+ q/ c: Z b
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
. B3 H( N7 ]% U5 m; z0 K> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
* g: T6 q; D/ Y, H. s; A! K3 q> > need a pay raise.
4 ~6 s& B9 X+ @/ ]# }> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage; u3 i! O7 P) \$ k9 Q
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
1 l7 y S* m4 ?6 q1 A$ M5 }> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise., ]9 U' H0 R! j% V6 t6 B, p
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you1 `; H- E/ j) e5 i5 K$ d
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
; y+ y* G; M5 B: y7 M: I> > raise.( g$ n( ~) K \$ F& W
> >
4 u, x$ A9 O+ `& R> > Sick Days
. `; Z" z2 @' j' [+ Y> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
0 u! z1 G7 ~! P4 N" I5 U> > proof of sickness.# G9 B! }, R S; ?
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able ]9 A) m' }8 |! p8 v) _
> > to come to work.
1 H* F' `% P0 F6 H' _> >; y* w0 T2 x0 `, U
> > Holiday Days
4 d; `) e7 e: g: B' g> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a2 o6 G/ H* e* H& l4 T8 M$ |
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.- w3 A! \' I1 O8 g/ B5 z
> >
9 a4 i/ Y* H4 Q7 b' c> > Compassionate Leave
* @# j/ Y$ x$ P$ H- v: D Q1 m' q$ ?> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
2 d" I4 a' L5 _0 {0 W) ^6 S) }> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-4 w; }# r& m: f7 `; g; @" z
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-9 X) u7 }' g' f% ^/ q2 _1 o
> > employees attend to the arrangements.2 F; @6 q7 ?. P7 s- E
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
) x4 C& {" Q# t& j2 z> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
4 C; U4 v! J; R3 P> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
* u. K! y+ s+ l+ S3 e> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
+ y5 L* N9 w2 E1 A3 \ H$ b> > hour early.
) S4 ^1 R0 Z- y% Q9 M) z> >
3 r- T; f3 \4 }, d3 d$ h( l% d> > Toilet Use
. e/ ^4 j! T5 X> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
( T5 l) M. b1 B' U> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
& C; B9 M) N3 `. u) C* j* x> > in the cubicles.
% r0 W. g$ O# ^/ _8 w# T; T& W> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
. L* V1 A$ \; D+ V0 {5 a% J8 j> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
# q V$ D% D* z7 f0 A" ]3 |> > door will open, and your picture will be taken., B3 i* N6 {' J Q
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
( L. p, T2 s! f+ V> > posted on the company notice board under the
2 t a4 H7 _7 T% R; [& `% e> > "Chronic Offenders" category.- l& B/ G5 I* O
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be1 X0 D5 _3 l2 c3 b; C8 ^. m) V
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health; w% e. C/ ^% `# @% X9 ~
> > policy. R' l* d* M% S* A/ L8 U. s/ K
> >
+ n* Y/ n; A o4 V" H) ]> > Lunch Break! w+ B+ K& z1 r6 C& g
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
6 z3 J6 V( W4 J( I' |) e& t- e& G6 O0 E> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
. I# G# K; [& F8 \> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
( C) s- [" i) K9 z k> > maintain their average figure.& h% y) g* D, {3 _8 q2 e9 ~3 @& b" V& k
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
( I5 Q+ s' R2 c; G Y: e> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
# n% l1 S0 ?- Y> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are+ R* g$ @0 |. B- G9 ? I
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive3 g+ Y6 h- ~* j- g# L& ]# s
> > employment experience.
8 d2 e7 D7 [$ r: r> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,9 Q3 y) ^7 b7 D6 y8 C
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,5 b0 W- V; m( J3 S" l
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
?. t. G# k. Y2 Q e9 e> > directed elsewhere. |
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