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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:+ t+ | Q. ~# t4 Z0 A
> > Effective January 2007
8 l; ^8 y, o5 Y+ d* \! r6 w! L; b> >
0 [, z, x& \# d# s- j$ u7 F> > Dress Code
# O; R: l8 ]( B Z% u' z> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed! ^5 X/ f! m5 m8 R, b: Q
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
$ H1 \5 Z3 Y0 ?" g, r; T> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
* p a# \9 ?( p8 X( W* s. J" K9 r> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not( ^. T4 }& A$ j. X- u
> > need a pay raise.
. g7 M* F* q9 K, s7 C" m3 E$ U" x> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage# O: J! K# w; H0 J9 X
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer3 ?' ~, ?6 J8 f
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
2 P+ X% I; a/ _( d, y> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you6 X/ E5 p) R$ O& q$ h% I# C% T! h
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
; P; R6 Q/ O% T3 P1 |, A> > raise.+ ]& ?9 n, ?' j8 O9 n. ]
> >
4 a! p/ e) L) H> > Sick Days8 L5 q3 h* @0 y
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as5 z0 a8 o1 w; z! X2 v) Q
> > proof of sickness.8 N. p! D, w% ^6 W& p. `
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
# p! H1 q2 `! F; D" L7 I0 w: K> > to come to work.
9 T& w- V1 K$ v# c5 F- u> >
/ g; m& a9 Z8 p& ~1 d0 j> > Holiday Days7 n+ h; T3 e+ L) P3 l3 ~
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a/ f8 ^- L: v3 t
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.4 b) c8 z; A5 p& G* A( u( o
> >' j' f4 }, V0 H! J& {* |
> > Compassionate Leave
/ r/ B2 T6 ]$ a8 f2 `& J4 S6 A8 z> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing; _' E$ S9 E$ A- ]
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-4 i6 z9 q9 v ~3 Y
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-) U5 ^! s3 Y& o- o$ d
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
" {/ Q1 o" {' L" U1 I/ B9 Z! A! R> > In rare cases where employee involvement is$ k: p+ J I4 d5 c) ]* \( ^; g V
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
7 c' |6 h" ]" z$ i6 q> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work3 p( V5 K1 m. H
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
( `6 {% S4 u0 j' e" j, ~2 K' w: F& B' u> > hour early. m/ P2 C3 B& e2 p( U' r
> >/ A9 r3 S" C5 t( l7 d- L/ `: o
> > Toilet Use: R( s: }+ D; X2 ^+ H
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
# N3 h8 A2 H) M> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit- P: r4 [9 o Z
> > in the cubicles.3 u4 k! G* D! K; D# R, j
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
' z% x$ y5 y3 O6 U. d5 U> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
- {( y+ Q, z( U. i/ Q+ u- i> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
! o4 Q3 L: e, S+ V. z" |> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be( H% {, w" h8 `% l- p6 ?
> > posted on the company notice board under the, i) q; j& l4 N- I: T, z
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.; K( A, l- R' j- B
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be9 q4 p$ R' l4 h! F
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health! d, I! A/ p: c* z
> > policy., O# j: o* S' i% a; p9 P) _; p
> >2 n1 F' g l. _8 v; Q6 A& q2 \
> > Lunch Break# \! B! b5 m6 N6 X. w) R B
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
+ K5 }( ?9 r4 w# k2 k1 K: m6 |> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
/ a7 a; V* T/ R+ z3 K# a> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to7 }$ h$ D) d" T* _. Q0 X0 }$ e
> > maintain their average figure.2 _% A8 ]1 B; T/ F$ D
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time6 w4 w! i; {; u" m6 Q! T* W) j0 H1 N* k
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
4 y- R. | L$ P> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
3 t6 l# |+ Y9 J> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive' q) w$ H! H k. H. A0 A t( ~
> > employment experience.% x/ f& q" d1 I x- m
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
9 E. A5 |8 q4 ~: |, ]9 Q, s. O> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
4 i6 l/ N7 x H- p& ?' K" K, I4 P> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
2 F# r. w' z( o a5 p5 y3 O# l> > directed elsewhere. |
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