|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:" Y. E0 V0 @* {& s i' E
> > Effective January 2007; P& A+ `; \- X
> >
6 U, p" O0 k; ~3 n6 j. q+ @> > Dress Code9 [5 E* q* }2 ?$ u# U8 [( x* N
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed0 P6 B" e! j1 H. ?" L/ n
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
' Q ]% ?$ e. ]/ D! L% Y! N# Q |> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume6 f+ y3 x6 F: d5 I* ?
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not0 y# u- P+ E8 F) w" x* G. L
> > need a pay raise. q$ C5 f- S& T4 E4 r7 ?
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage4 |- A" w+ r5 F+ N/ m& a
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
; J1 h' U \' w3 D- y) a! I) N) w> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
; ?* S3 d; X+ V. [" B% N9 q> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
6 l! D/ ~7 u0 _) m$ x) E, ?8 o> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay+ h I5 g" Y6 i' e( B
> > raise.
4 G) T8 T9 J: ]- T- t> >4 e; s8 L: N' f2 b
> > Sick Days
% _5 A9 r2 [/ X5 O$ y# r! M" ^7 P> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as; `: @0 \8 H& i) r; B9 X; U% [
> > proof of sickness.
+ v% S9 O2 U! y3 _- ]" v> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able1 L2 o" ^; }& S/ k1 G! R
> > to come to work.. @; i/ d& t Z* o) P, K
> >. _+ |) b! P2 r# K9 u: Y6 M
> > Holiday Days
7 k, P7 Y9 V3 j+ r- f0 L" H' f> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
% i( C4 j# e0 t& o7 d+ J> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.( c y7 a$ j X
> >
0 v& v& C( k/ n* w5 t# s$ H5 a> > Compassionate Leave: ] S. H0 H+ ]
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing7 x: G$ S# ^- x) J1 }7 @: S
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-3 b" j( Q j& b! S/ u+ {
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-" _% G+ `+ d* E! V' N
> > employees attend to the arrangements.1 D( K( y! A7 ^5 g7 @, t( x. Q1 e
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is1 }1 H: x" F3 C4 X4 t
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the0 B1 Y" O, {) A& A
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
2 [3 [! B& s8 z3 i0 |> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
9 F B) v' z. O9 H; A. i) e/ C> > hour early.
) q6 A1 J1 M8 I* d> >9 n% O3 H* c9 {3 F
> > Toilet Use( l: n4 f8 L8 _% q# U
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
- u$ I( m* p: ^& [> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit! e9 ?- @. f/ q; j
> > in the cubicles.
5 _/ y5 t* [0 n' p- |* s0 S> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
2 h# m J) C8 Q( I7 c> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
& C3 Z" y4 i6 t- B ?( H> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.% b @0 O- t( n! w( {' O7 A
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
0 Z' F8 a( N" `0 i/ s> > posted on the company notice board under the
* L/ x* z7 W( a" `/ p0 w9 K5 ~> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
9 ~, o- e$ |( O0 s8 i; B- d: B> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
: \( T# N* @# e# ~, [! U2 p/ t' ]! g> > sanctioned under the company's mental health0 I$ R) t2 I8 d( i' l
> > policy.
5 o1 ~% C, O" F1 B6 d> >
+ Q2 ^& {+ c" v) N+ v o$ z> > Lunch Break
$ o- \9 a7 t8 ?2 }. m> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
; l; n% m: u5 ^& ]> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
! V- }: }2 y; l% D0 ^) x> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
) M$ t4 j7 R ^) I4 @: N% L1 Y> > maintain their average figure.3 ^; J" Q+ Z5 K
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
5 K2 X9 u" P3 ~9 ?' k8 S> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.1 d3 W$ S& s1 @' u" X+ E
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are6 ^% d* H" D- p5 u+ M1 d3 j- e
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive1 I* E% w4 c9 E; B* O& r- `7 H0 b
> > employment experience.
" ^% f3 h# b& B1 Z! H w> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
; k$ \! D0 k: ]2 B3 E> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
' ]% `/ Q9 m: L( {, I$ Z2 l> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be# s7 b3 \% g; g0 B: e
> > directed elsewhere. |
|
