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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
2 D3 ^& l6 ?* E* I- [+ X> > Effective January 2007" v: G# Z/ [5 M% e+ }8 K5 f% i
> >
1 b# M( ]6 M$ `' F9 j> > Dress Code% I( p5 E( ]& i4 s) m
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
" l i: X8 C# i& B) q+ |$ J> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing8 O( z: ^( p5 h% i4 `$ D
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume/ M( Q F( z) c$ w+ O
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not2 ^: w1 h1 ~, g1 G& {4 p
> > need a pay raise.
' P. @' M% b; Y' A: c2 T> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage3 H o# m' k& w
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer8 ^) H- h% O& g3 |7 ^
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
, t& C3 @' |+ g* Y i5 c> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
8 h: y" N) ~2 Q, o, T9 Z; q& ^> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay$ F9 g" E9 m' k9 @7 S6 B/ s
> > raise.3 d7 B1 W& p, V9 ^) J
> >7 w0 |$ Z2 a. M2 W
> > Sick Days
$ |# e3 E. I0 r! C! {> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as+ X( p$ k q1 x) t
> > proof of sickness.
! X# m. Z! m' ], q> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
4 p! W; f9 m" s4 I$ Q- {" a> > to come to work.
( `# N! S! C ?! I0 A7 U% D> >
/ g3 p7 g. _2 I" ^> > Holiday Days
. r% b# |( v: G/ ?> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
, x. _/ P4 A5 k> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.; X* ~5 q; z+ a/ ]& ?
> >
2 f4 M: w8 B" V> > Compassionate Leave; l3 ]3 i! D& }9 I7 ]8 ?8 |& e4 _* d
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing: X% h! F4 P) Q& y2 c/ M/ u( ~1 j. Z0 X
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
) b* n$ d; e# D' @" T: q+ L @6 G> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
! O8 W. b! p" h> > employees attend to the arrangements.
. a$ @2 I# O( O$ G" P> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
( X6 E1 ^1 E7 M> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the& p; h2 h* B l3 E5 @& Y* }$ E) B
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
$ ]5 Y% }: L% ~> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one( }" a7 O) C c9 M
> > hour early. ]. Z" b8 C! b9 Y
> >
2 {5 o6 W* q I0 g9 J# w> > Toilet Use/ _. V4 J/ P" P5 a
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the/ G4 Z# s9 w- Y0 c, c" S
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit- @# F, _/ e7 l- l+ D% J$ O; g
> > in the cubicles.* j _( n$ u6 g% J
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
9 A( a7 M. A! l( X3 N2 h8 P> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle6 e [+ _+ o- }% ]/ [3 Y4 v
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
- o. p7 l' p& b4 W' ~> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be1 ~; z* V, T+ b
> > posted on the company notice board under the# C: q3 s; B: W& D& c) Q* E( E# F7 r
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
0 O( C3 y, t" ~8 j# V, z$ u. _% }> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
; \/ U2 [' l- O3 }: y> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
+ a t9 R4 k; ?) f% l0 J- l1 n> > policy.
/ ^5 ?/ _0 V+ X3 [% r> >8 H" I( |& q. |& p0 B! m
> > Lunch Break) P+ M L7 c( y" y# J
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
: p8 Q" P% i: ]8 j% H1 j( P* f$ d> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.) D- I: Q! l7 n" N) H
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to9 M# x7 W! i1 I% T7 G
> > maintain their average figure.
; G" m: q' |2 \# e> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time0 k! V8 u" m) i
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.8 p: ~/ l; \ \2 B( ~
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are% E6 m/ D9 P" s
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive+ D# E' F; E; M" K9 i
> > employment experience.: _3 f1 T. y( O8 @
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,0 A& l1 @5 F( U- n( a% W; p
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,0 a9 D: ]& D( B
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be' A# S" t; U% ^) O# t' z
> > directed elsewhere. |
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