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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
: q' y6 O! f- c3 d- z1 _. ]' v> > Effective January 2007
s+ M% Z1 H+ g1 n# i+ d> >$ }5 [6 o: I& Z9 {" v, X8 x
> > Dress Code
2 r, f% i3 x5 Z# H8 R# O. z" O> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed2 U! y0 g9 F! A7 Z
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
: X+ F3 A- E1 P> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume! c. V% f9 m7 @/ t: x0 j
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not8 |( a$ O/ [# V0 ]
> > need a pay raise.- W% P Q) B8 x8 x u& x) I
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage; i5 T3 Z4 l! @" s F/ l; I
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
) J5 T4 I# h7 e; f( Q9 C$ ]4 Y/ j> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
9 ^+ O- P' U2 X# j8 m5 ]3 D> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
" E2 Y7 [% o+ }: U> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay0 d7 Y0 O" _. c5 k& u" t
> > raise.# i+ Y. |, F9 A) [( f' E; N
> >
9 G3 x3 C- Z+ X, c> > Sick Days: B( }* [- f6 z5 K- s
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as: H+ ? E) ?6 m
> > proof of sickness.
; l3 @% ?6 k, p+ k! ^> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
3 o! o: x1 o0 o2 _7 x3 P> > to come to work.1 a7 ?' ?. M. G" t- _6 Z
> >
; u1 I0 S# Q% G: u" g. _> > Holiday Days9 ^. g# X* M6 ^* ~8 a' F# S- T+ _1 P3 G
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
/ \2 o" G! m, Q# y4 F p> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
: o* e: y/ x0 V' U5 h% m/ S. v: m7 P7 h> >" u% W9 R! s4 V. Q' o; i
> > Compassionate Leave" P4 S" w2 K4 h% S0 }% n
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
2 y0 ^3 x, q& g> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
) @. J# e% U6 O( o; x> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-6 o% h2 V, ]; o; P1 r$ \
> > employees attend to the arrangements.6 z' ^$ q' h) Q3 j; S5 t% \
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
/ G" h @4 Y8 `9 F7 L m) j. I- T> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
9 K, T4 f% X4 V6 y% @4 @- N> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
) V2 B+ e0 @8 s- A! T> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one( T% ?$ k/ ?* r) X( j4 j' K. i
> > hour early.3 s2 @+ m4 n3 d7 r
> >5 U, \ L7 E* ~) f% `0 m
> > Toilet Use+ B' ]: _' M; n' |- x
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the9 P* Q, Y |0 x: x" G& n$ S+ Y
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit0 A8 y, I7 x; U/ ]0 b* L( X0 {
> > in the cubicles./ u2 k5 \4 L5 `% e, Y0 ~" g
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
' e" x" p" k% m i7 X7 t0 P> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle6 z0 u4 }# I: i `; P$ ?0 o
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.8 G7 V' c u+ {2 o5 N4 W
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
6 t: e* I, Q9 r8 Z0 @> > posted on the company notice board under the7 }) m* B2 a$ i% p# ?
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
( T- q/ i& ~: F> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
$ I- {) L+ ~+ _: i) ~ w3 |9 w+ d2 w> > sanctioned under the company's mental health2 F4 Z7 _; P6 v7 y9 j
> > policy.; R% @& v2 Z; b% j# O- J
> > j3 l6 \, N, q/ a* @& \% ?
> > Lunch Break7 ~; i( Q& i/ X4 l5 ~: a
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they- d7 j$ Z; L( g$ ]4 R H7 J( z
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
; c' u4 S, X' v# G: b6 C* V5 R U4 ]> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to$ e. y, \* ]" {5 X6 Q1 Q
> > maintain their average figure.
5 i J' j: @. ?3 |% d, d T* I. r( f& {> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time( R- Z7 _+ l0 w. t) g+ ?5 h
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.9 v5 V9 a4 W% v$ d5 ^* O
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are1 _% ? w V0 c4 ~
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
; N2 W1 B' [9 l N. Y l: y3 b> > employment experience.! I2 j) j% {' B$ c2 c
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,7 b7 I0 X- A9 F0 s" S! m
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,, u1 _4 {1 e9 P/ b$ E* P6 n
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
9 {5 b7 I% N. C4 S; J' W> > directed elsewhere. |
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