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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:. [! Z' l8 h6 t5 L
> > Effective January 2007
/ Y/ c/ l. F9 G/ |5 F> >1 w! a. f6 G# v$ S5 ]& e- {6 \2 y
> > Dress Code
) ~7 t: j3 B& }' K5 [) `7 E> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed |2 z* O& K# t+ m
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
# c; O; [) p' r3 L> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume C* p& h1 O/ B. q1 v; @
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not. W! O, j+ a0 g6 E/ ?( R) y3 W9 U* M
> > need a pay raise.
$ l5 ^$ f' x8 [5 d> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
2 p: a$ x, |. T( K' @% u8 E% B> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
' V& n. Z: q6 ~! b0 p2 Y> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
; U& ^4 x5 B4 @! v: W! Z1 v& r> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
7 o, ?% E+ Q: L( M' H$ s> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay3 D1 Y! v/ k8 L6 l4 P
> > raise.
1 [8 m7 y# q, J> >
0 z2 z6 R- v- d3 A/ O4 T> > Sick Days5 p2 T$ Y I! ^
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as0 H/ y- s/ t( k/ N& {6 }5 i
> > proof of sickness., T6 r) v8 ^9 m7 d
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able0 \- O+ W3 v: f/ V
> > to come to work.
" V& D" @$ ]- h% t7 P+ F6 y> >
/ M5 g+ ~0 @" _> > Holiday Days
; z2 ^2 o: Y4 r0 u# G1 ^" r> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
. i3 P( B. X: e5 {> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
. q! n5 p' ]1 y* G: d- _> >0 @2 V3 n# \( P. n! n
> > Compassionate Leave
4 B1 E( g$ G- G+ w9 \1 _* Z0 V> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
" ?! u+ V' i, E. F1 J4 [2 k( F> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-5 T! U( s! W# V5 {& k5 _+ n, {
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-4 K" s4 ?" g( f3 Z2 i
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
6 [% G {, N3 S1 C5 Y/ r$ A: ~* j> > In rare cases where employee involvement is9 e$ q0 ^$ F6 ]4 T5 Z
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
% u, h9 }3 e& u! p9 V. U3 N> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work6 {; q' z0 ^ ` y i$ m
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one; ^( |6 h7 x* K1 G- @
> > hour early.( ?* m- Q5 T$ a9 i
> >
5 B& |1 j0 Q3 X: D4 t( q> > Toilet Use( _3 y! j" B+ F1 p6 V
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
5 z h# S* h$ K1 b2 Y% g- ^2 n> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
4 S, p' W# X3 p$ d' ?> > in the cubicles.
7 V# A+ V' p1 E5 S; q1 ^> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
# J3 I3 U( l1 N2 m> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle9 _+ _' W3 |4 d' K
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
# q1 r. T, {9 o( G7 q> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
: }/ j& y) _: h> > posted on the company notice board under the
2 \' e& t' M% [9 \> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
7 R, e9 o$ N8 r6 z! K> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
1 p9 ]' c: d, X; r1 n> > sanctioned under the company's mental health& ^5 `# ]0 I: ~2 p- s
> > policy.
9 t" J. j0 q! W# Y1 T r; s> >. w9 x- r4 b5 H: _
> > Lunch Break7 z7 ^- L, b# D5 K- y3 T* z9 I- ^
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
% K* b- n! ?6 `: B& _8 ~> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
) w2 y- w4 ?$ z5 Q! O7 O9 Y> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
3 I1 w1 l/ o1 g4 H$ G> > maintain their average figure.2 d+ I u4 U7 ?4 a1 E" e& r( @
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time7 ]3 {5 g- H1 Y8 V4 Z9 s& }
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.6 J" K# ~/ U4 g8 R; m2 H6 S
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
& m8 s, S" |: Y/ I7 v" B7 V* b> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive- W, s4 W7 s7 y( `
> > employment experience.
4 h* {. {0 V# r. o' I> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,6 ?% A1 J, m: L8 {/ `/ |. g
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,2 `) P N$ u g2 R! _# Q. U: s
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
3 F. i, B( J2 x$ L" d. [; C> > directed elsewhere. |
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