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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
) ~; X/ C, w' Y9 e; V> > Effective January 2007& }& Y L% W3 v& E8 j" y& _! }" t2 i
> >
4 X. k& ? ]5 S9 ~6 a> > Dress Code, b8 }$ h- d. }" T0 e& D( W
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed d; W& i, ?3 {" f# U- A
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing3 e/ S2 G6 S% E$ V: u$ `
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume* m7 o! |" A. E2 S l6 g
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
/ q3 g% @( L) k8 D i8 ]8 e> > need a pay raise.: g' x1 z; s& S0 c. Q! f7 a
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
5 ]! R3 _' N# \9 z> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
; c/ Z" B& ^1 s& q# r- ?7 C- g> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.5 ~9 N7 D% M: R6 C( m( i& v: h! i
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you4 @% ]3 T5 E: e9 m4 _/ t4 X
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
& y( q4 t1 N' ]% G" h$ e> > raise.
5 w$ u" d( A& z) q' u6 r% ]4 r> >" S8 q" O9 W w4 N
> > Sick Days
; y3 ~1 a# s$ W1 {( n: Y> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
' Y/ R+ g* Y1 y( A> > proof of sickness.
0 `" N) W+ ]/ J$ c T5 A. g> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
/ |2 ^/ K) o# Y: [' o> > to come to work.% A( ^& Y. ~* Y# ~/ Y
> >5 S" P/ b7 C1 J6 Z% E
> > Holiday Days
- G+ x6 W: x# e> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
2 k$ s; r1 Y* X8 n: X2 r3 ^0 B) h> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.6 {" X% c+ G8 y& c! g) F
> >, H4 Z5 V$ r- _8 l( F' T
> > Compassionate Leave4 h- c# X2 U9 u* R V! w
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
+ |# G1 A. p; o! T K& O> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
E3 J) G. h" S3 v( I> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
/ s* i% }1 @4 T/ c& |9 Z5 w1 K> > employees attend to the arrangements.
3 }3 G6 o0 V3 ~: Q1 N4 c) ^- i> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
2 E9 U z% w8 P5 T8 C> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
0 r1 q7 y! v9 i. D> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
( ]# K* {: f/ ?: j> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
$ u5 B0 Z! ?; E> > hour early.2 @% R# y7 K0 C
> >- f2 d6 M' R- m) y* Z
> > Toilet Use* _: M! j7 T- d" L
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the" ]" _ }7 E! J% r
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
: [( o5 s% c9 C% @> > in the cubicles.
0 V. R* J8 d" a# i0 y+ Z> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will2 O% ~0 a& M, Y) M+ T* T! L
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle" Q2 q, V( S& V, n0 W
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
+ n# L1 h* B9 ]7 A" h. C> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
0 g. H+ Z* i1 A' W* e> > posted on the company notice board under the/ U% }) G6 u0 I. P3 C# o8 ^
> > "Chronic Offenders" category. b E# f, F w; f( n* `/ R
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be) k5 |% G0 J- e: Q- c" }
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
/ C& d! [0 s* G, {> > policy.
' V1 w1 J: p0 Z" q1 ~> >
+ X& M8 p' X7 q8 I1 w> > Lunch Break
4 ]) C! F- w7 Z5 p$ w> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
9 R5 K: w. W3 b! L2 j. q> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.* ~5 j& H' I# K9 d
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
2 W7 W7 c% _& k1 }1 H> > maintain their average figure., e/ F6 C8 V4 u. m5 V' X, r b/ P
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
, v7 C. L, @2 `2 e. V8 A2 B> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
/ Z1 T. S; S6 T) U# D1 l- f' R/ |> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
/ l$ a" U. ^6 i5 a> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive! n# L+ h/ o" |4 M J
> > employment experience.
, ?* C/ E: [7 s+ d8 r> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
4 i% Q) f( S5 W> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,% |) J6 O9 d1 v, o J
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be6 ?( A9 a* ?( R5 i, K
> > directed elsewhere. |
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