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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:6 i) Y( _& Z+ F0 \3 `+ f/ U( ^
> > Effective January 2007 D* [1 E; l( u9 |6 N
> >. r+ i" o% T& p5 u, M+ F
> > Dress Code
1 j% C% }6 I' m! x2 K! p* M. Z> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed& j9 r7 @' C0 c W C
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
* Y P! N# K, j6 j4 P> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume2 r* d: f# ]- O& z3 L( v. v. p
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
6 ~$ Q S" g* K) K> > need a pay raise.
J l9 V3 N+ t9 d6 ^> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage' }* j( A' X3 u9 T3 {
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
5 {5 [) ^. ]& _, h> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.: D# v5 S: r& ?+ z. m& f7 F" u, _
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
) ]2 v' ?! p' z, T2 T6 H! R) ?> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
, ]$ I$ D! X" d( K G5 [> > raise.
8 B2 v6 c7 n$ h" ?' }> >
) g8 N, X8 j+ s" m> > Sick Days4 ~/ |& F# o7 P( O) Q" j
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
9 }0 {7 ^& U0 S; A: K' X> > proof of sickness./ o$ b0 m! W; L# O t- Y
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able0 w! ?( [1 v8 n0 F
> > to come to work.
' T8 p4 i# a z+ D- a> >2 ~% P- b* ~" `: I2 A7 h: D
> > Holiday Days/ C, T, ]; Z7 [. }& c* W, o" ?+ y
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a* w4 M) A! {+ D- E/ e$ M6 |) M
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
- p2 w, t+ L$ C' T> > Q/ k. @, d+ P) ^4 u
> > Compassionate Leave
$ M. ^& [) E" m% C> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
$ d: M. C% t$ N# w' R1 U> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
5 O( h2 w! y4 J7 b4 @; r> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-9 [* x/ ]: q# @# H+ d6 s
> > employees attend to the arrangements.7 j- u \) E5 @
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
' v5 B4 Z! G" G2 G$ [, g4 T/ c> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the* M- V9 }: s1 u9 P
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
6 p4 @4 a! W& }2 M5 o> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one) Y* f4 a x/ `3 R! Q
> > hour early.9 E+ v/ L% L3 J1 h; E
> >
" Z4 `3 B) ]- q. i" w% F> > Toilet Use
0 S7 x! d) o' }9 O$ T> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the+ ~/ X, S6 F- X j
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit5 T/ p" h. D: c1 i
> > in the cubicles.
8 e) R7 _$ Z8 h! S> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will7 Z _; J ^+ T+ y' Q
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle( [! f) c/ Q1 q4 y
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
' E! n* @% ]7 p: O* A, p3 v) g> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be$ r1 L+ @) `/ ^
> > posted on the company notice board under the
5 f$ a5 a1 G( v/ G4 \: ~> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
1 n( m: E$ r- ~ d> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be+ |- z3 Z1 ?2 B- z/ ?5 R
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
5 r, d' e7 V9 p3 ^' s/ O> > policy.& X @% p; z, J6 U- A
> >- B$ x! P" l2 d: |4 U
> > Lunch Break2 Y7 ?; V7 N7 D9 K" w2 W- }. P
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
" |5 ^% J+ _% H+ p( `> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
9 G z+ Y% K1 ^" |/ l' a! h/ e> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to0 U, H: l/ ]8 b8 S; I
> > maintain their average figure.
8 p5 E, v8 ?) I# ~> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time8 d: _3 [% ^7 l4 d, X+ a$ [% f
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
( ~! V4 \9 k; j: ?4 _1 f> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are2 r/ N. r) F3 u4 l! \! x1 k2 T
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive2 g9 Z3 P, ^0 \* o% C, ?
> > employment experience.
2 ?% i8 N/ @% t" M% W> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
0 z1 G2 A4 p. @> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
) @) K6 W8 W2 p- q> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be- ^ ?3 S$ M" t* t5 G8 i% n
> > directed elsewhere. |
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