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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:3 }; m' J! \& w- p, E& l3 ~
> > Effective January 2007
9 K3 u1 Z5 Z; \1 Y- P> >3 m2 M2 E. w# j+ B* W/ `
> > Dress Code1 B4 k+ |) E* x/ [' r2 a
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed( l3 f% n9 r$ \( Y6 \6 r! N
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing3 Z' s1 @6 \6 }4 j' d
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
8 i8 K6 D' ~8 L> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not/ m! x2 `' @+ M0 a+ @* z
> > need a pay raise.5 W: f, W. V5 \* `
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
3 T( t) g, \- ^, E w+ f> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
( `! K8 ?* c+ O> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
6 p. B7 s1 J+ m$ r2 ]> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you7 Q: I. d$ m) \* k+ r8 {1 ~
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
4 K+ n0 s5 H% p# F> > raise.& c9 F# B* ~% ~/ T- ^( H) B7 d0 l, R
> >
0 t, `- `8 B* m# B& L6 ?, N> > Sick Days
7 e4 V) ` Q: W- U2 c/ [9 t> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
, C# I& V- ^7 `, n4 x2 ^/ _. ~$ U7 W> > proof of sickness.
7 h- k! Y# h0 p> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able/ y- a, x7 O& Z4 I+ h1 [9 u
> > to come to work.
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> > Holiday Days
0 u2 E7 C( c7 |+ E' x0 @+ H& _7 @> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a/ t8 P) h! V _0 f, w* l
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.4 J y: s/ G) o/ \) S$ y
> >, |/ i3 y! P4 g; u }) i! M! R$ H
> > Compassionate Leave, H; v" F& e) Y; c1 I5 N
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
7 W" b5 I# h1 e) J& t2 w> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-! Y) c1 ~# Z* ^6 h
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-" u2 d R, R* Y. `1 ^
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
- U$ c# V( ?; r1 c0 J> > In rare cases where employee involvement is$ }9 } t. G% Q
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
- n1 @ F ?7 R- y+ s: B> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work% B, J F$ w; N: ?
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one4 D$ t) F/ V# p1 x( D" B* L
> > hour early.
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> > Toilet Use
# l# C. B9 R3 r3 r> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
) ?- m7 y! X h* ^) Y9 d* N> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
~9 o- j. s9 O! g> > in the cubicles.7 Y" F# Y9 g9 M- T" o" K0 @
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will% e% A( j6 H/ `* U# X4 T- D2 O! `
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
* B* y0 L. ?( b6 W, T7 ?> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
1 f; X* g" Q1 z( W# R1 e> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be& j; X, ]7 ^, x1 R' l, l6 z
> > posted on the company notice board under the; i0 q5 y+ H \5 S
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
. ^9 b8 U# q* ]1 V/ ?9 ^$ K> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
' m: w/ m+ B$ F$ O$ z> > sanctioned under the company's mental health- \' h/ t' {9 q- z5 |
> > policy.
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> > Lunch Break$ Q8 n8 G' A9 h! c
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they% m9 w/ N' Y |# P$ I# @
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy." u+ q( P. g1 A: C8 T9 Y( ]
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to9 G% M/ y+ e- I% k i/ f7 `7 i
> > maintain their average figure.% k# W0 D9 V0 {# q$ @ y
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time0 Y+ W& v! O/ J7 l
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.( E4 D( V: A* \! f
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
+ @/ u) w" v% Q6 i* ]> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
5 @# U+ v6 W3 Y' L u9 D> > employment experience.* G* w& H6 a4 W t# Q/ u" {
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
) d6 U* ], f9 ?+ D! v$ B3 H/ ]1 S> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,* v: ~' b$ I8 b5 D) p
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be$ a0 ~; \; j8 @1 Q& ?$ {. D
> > directed elsewhere. |
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