|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:
4 y2 Q/ C+ c" p& H# i> > Effective January 20071 D& H( s. ^! h: p
> >
' I2 T: ~ G: n/ ~! q> > Dress Code8 f {5 q: _5 d( {; f
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed; p/ K/ x- ~4 f% O; _% ^- F0 J
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
) P+ S# ?; F. P> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
* Q) V, i$ ?( W& P" T" B> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
) m& ~5 x7 N& v9 ?3 v8 |: X> > need a pay raise.- \) q+ {% H5 ~$ A1 [1 {
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage4 s& p7 I- J9 k
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer4 A# u) p9 U* l& p4 j# |6 g
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
" h7 U8 D; y' t1 a6 H> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
$ l0 D; e r) }) O: V. x> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay w4 m$ ]6 \: k/ K$ R V
> > raise.
# Y, ]6 @& v6 P0 O) L$ `> >
% x. j6 z$ x+ p- V> > Sick Days
4 R+ v% Z! T! ^* j+ f \> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
" c2 z2 \1 [. J$ b> > proof of sickness.: n! b) Y T' a1 }0 r
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
: N" F" D/ n3 q> > to come to work.
, G. x6 e: t7 Q3 P2 v7 m1 P> >
' k' }& ]1 g! ?: c6 a> > Holiday Days' M6 c4 s$ t6 y. f
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a7 O; {& y. w$ f, {3 Q5 o
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.% d# ~" i6 z7 U; m
> >$ ~5 `* w5 \! B: |
> > Compassionate Leave R0 c$ q: m8 g
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing' ^. X! I, X' `2 x
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
$ R6 N7 t N( Z$ S, z% Y> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-/ l( U4 m5 W# z
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
5 O- t5 j, f D* _7 C> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
+ @. }5 Q1 ~$ s! q( O/ V> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
8 H+ l( T4 j4 @0 g3 O+ `> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
. Y9 G! H; S9 ~, d) T) l( a: X> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
) }% k5 }# }$ Z2 _; F7 Y* ?> > hour early.7 x) a* e. a2 p- k; L) N) c
> >' c( R& e. R Y
> > Toilet Use3 Q2 t+ K; q1 }: |- x& }8 R
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
, N9 _0 r( p& J! z" Y> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
9 X6 {4 Q+ r r4 a/ J/ y0 W6 ^> > in the cubicles.
9 ~' f( L- K) k9 w* S+ ]> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
# m# c) n, D! `/ E2 T> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
+ k3 _: @! L% H# i> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
9 [! h9 |6 P: t> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be8 b: d! m1 G! _% }( s0 |4 c
> > posted on the company notice board under the
U1 `9 J" i9 U+ e* u> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
9 s, ~1 W6 u# D, j% V- C> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
6 p: a) t3 v8 p$ [% J5 R, C> > sanctioned under the company's mental health9 E* u: M* n! Q/ J' `
> > policy.$ ?: r1 z$ R& A+ m, N3 J
> >
3 @) f! I% B. T) j2 m> > Lunch Break: u3 o }, S$ V6 \
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they, r7 `6 r5 Q! y' F- Q" K$ n
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
, s: I. S" W; _> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to# B1 U0 w1 \# `, ]2 r* N
> > maintain their average figure. q' g2 Q* x* m
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
* o- @ I$ U& k7 ]6 J> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
" A3 Y U! ~4 s" W> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
5 B( c# _& p) c3 e+ F> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive' q& @3 }7 V) `
> > employment experience.. a" l% `! X/ A, B, x
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,9 X3 x6 l' ^7 W" k, ^0 T9 a
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
! D$ k# G# s+ k# \# G> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
* \# B, l2 G! a8 y- P7 V> > directed elsewhere. |
|
