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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
6 u& S/ y+ q5 {5 L2 Q> > Effective January 2007
u3 @6 [' W$ v3 `> >& I( ^6 {0 Q: b. j
> > Dress Code
o C5 N% n1 |/ c# `> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
( V, Z2 L: B, [6 ~* v; V> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing' R$ S$ e# K/ j
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume W" t2 ^: y4 ]6 L/ P; _
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
' G# E$ s r) L$ [- \3 [> > need a pay raise.. d* e4 M7 _; d; V* ]+ {
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage+ P" M9 H% G" I
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer. S! B7 _! ~8 q
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.& @# ?8 K: D8 e% c8 K2 c. n
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you, i4 e# E8 V3 u+ I T1 y9 \& M
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
9 V5 e6 o g' z" s9 P2 j, a> > raise.9 l* [+ c$ ]( ~+ C# H; X& U
> ># t: D9 w d, G. X8 \
> > Sick Days. V/ n, `* b p, w# b" j7 j
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
: p7 V* I1 D0 H8 m" ~> > proof of sickness.4 A: l# B- ^: O; ]
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
, m, a# W) X1 ~+ H( D1 I% G6 l' t> > to come to work.; p- ^3 C e# S( `) k }8 X
> >5 b* F0 L0 B, H1 s' I( k
> > Holiday Days: Q# z! L! K% O4 ^3 q
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a. a8 T2 O4 f* @8 Z8 \
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
6 n) T! ?. \( s> >8 v3 N! D9 v4 R1 }& \4 S. G
> > Compassionate Leave1 ~. G+ |7 e; t. V% N7 L+ I0 D% V8 e
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing4 F+ c% \2 a8 v' v2 u# ^/ {3 b
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-! V8 H" X! P# d2 ~
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-. N( \' }! j" Q
> > employees attend to the arrangements.5 n) e; M6 I }/ g) V- W4 N [
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is* k+ u! o4 Q) J: f1 S' j( L* u
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
4 z. w) P0 K- e9 f5 Z3 h1 }> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
2 J$ @( B4 |3 K, s5 d> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one0 E8 _4 e9 F/ x: Z# }$ A
> > hour early., D* m) M2 {7 _8 C
> >9 L# F- `+ C% r9 y3 Z
> > Toilet Use
) C9 y) u4 _( { W7 [# Y> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the! V1 Z* E8 U6 }
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
0 `1 |. B% y" R/ T0 c> > in the cubicles.6 Z3 K) w% ]& }1 n1 i+ d
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
" W% B4 b+ i. v> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle/ T$ M `# v1 q7 ]7 \3 Q
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
2 G4 `) o+ O+ p> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
* r$ f# S; `- N# S3 `6 H. g> > posted on the company notice board under the
E4 w0 Y! W& I8 z+ J2 v, M/ j& ^> > "Chronic Offenders" category.; ]- p9 j0 w7 f: q
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
7 e# ?, H6 v, n `" f> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
. u5 P0 `. O% R5 P& w> > policy.
+ t0 R+ T) S# I* x> >2 @8 t5 ]' D7 b5 S m, U
> > Lunch Break3 b/ W* F$ b; G0 G
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they e8 _! K: f' l- E& E4 `
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.1 [0 X& Z. m; {% I" ?* @
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
9 `2 }0 B6 m3 M( j) Y9 s> > maintain their average figure.8 ~3 C0 N' k: N1 h
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time2 ]2 s& M' F: G9 ]/ h
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
! L/ _2 z% K# Z# k% F% d7 x, F% D* q9 a> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are3 O+ @( R4 Y; e, K4 b
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
, C" n- c+ \, X i5 h" t> > employment experience. q! P9 W; x8 C5 R* F8 }
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints," Z1 ^0 b" j b8 C. o- q4 T. w
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,9 o1 G: x' Q4 o. g: F& {
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be' _: l' s) e; c- `' \9 W
> > directed elsewhere. |
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