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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:. c4 N# r1 l2 W3 s. o
> > Effective January 2007
& e; [* ?3 P1 c+ f8 z* z; M0 e> >) L4 p& W, a/ a( i, e
> > Dress Code
& w! h! R: X! R* K3 F7 L3 v8 I3 A% z> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed$ }$ ~: B, P5 l+ x+ b% c! O
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
* `1 \( s+ Q8 i/ q& d) r> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
# v) L6 j' {+ x7 G. q( `, |. ~; B> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
+ \) T4 O* E2 _8 L& Z5 _> > need a pay raise.% m. H9 J$ F. W' b" v
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage2 N4 P5 G& q* _0 b2 \, D# D
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
) Q; ~( e3 B1 a# u+ e> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
: Z+ Y, V/ c: D" s# T& o7 n> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you; e4 Q2 |; z0 M& A6 `! F3 r# H
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay2 @( P3 \2 r* G6 t/ u+ }
> > raise.! s5 _/ G- k* M3 e5 s3 N, T) x
> >
# Q- i2 r$ A" c7 Y* `$ u% u> > Sick Days; r6 z! Q! f# }* p# L
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
3 U6 r& f) [/ d3 S> > proof of sickness.
$ k9 r: w3 W' m: I! [> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able+ W' D5 V+ W, o3 r( Y7 b0 e
> > to come to work.
5 Q# R9 e4 O( Q+ `> >
6 L+ `1 o% g, w> > Holiday Days
9 ]: ^4 ^/ Y. _- w> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
) q' e A4 y4 c+ s' V" k, M& c> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.5 z6 }% j$ v; h
> >
1 O- y1 T4 S2 L4 ~2 s3 y> > Compassionate Leave
2 N3 s* L- n4 ]2 R( a$ r> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing8 r4 A, ^( [1 \
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
' x" o8 p$ o/ o# }# F% b0 C> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non- ]9 `+ _* Q) A7 x+ k7 r% z% u
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
4 G6 f7 Y# A5 l7 N( f> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
* a3 |% }( P- Y' X5 L> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
& v1 } i$ T* D; J: q$ o0 a8 a> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work8 r! C8 W6 P) Q4 s
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
4 ]. r, v! ]" l. M> > hour early.
9 I: J; G8 z. b) o6 w5 }4 b! w> >
+ k! |: V4 n' x( @6 P: u> > Toilet Use, {& _; @3 U8 H' C
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the2 @: ]% D$ L" }' b1 F0 J$ J1 m
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit$ X: v5 |3 w- P' H
> > in the cubicles.
0 d+ c- G- o: x7 H: z' k> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
! T' C( t% d& J/ M( B$ [ ]> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
4 u0 \$ r7 T+ f9 z* C" I3 w! C> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
6 G! x- O( A' V( S' z> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be6 ]1 g. [0 \! |4 E4 E* d( Z
> > posted on the company notice board under the) U% S7 W$ }; M
> > "Chronic Offenders" category. b9 `0 q# F/ R; w+ L
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be) f" |. y+ a4 A* b& b1 M- H/ y) J& h8 k
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
" I: U- J" D/ S7 W> > policy." o! J1 g( @: q
> >7 ^0 s' j% Z' {/ ^6 }7 P
> > Lunch Break
7 C3 i& s1 L2 h% c( h% z> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
: t& y: C& W1 T4 ^> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
; i( w' c4 D$ D! K \3 ^& i$ l0 L> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to! k1 i5 P* q9 R9 `6 z
> > maintain their average figure.
: D5 j6 z4 V i- t) D9 h> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time8 k; |- B) f5 F
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
! Q- V3 n+ K3 f, ^' S6 i> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
. m4 `9 P. E; L+ K+ B2 V> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
% u: y' _+ [. s4 a> > employment experience.
1 }" O# k( z, o. \7 @5 L8 V$ ~- f> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
" L( e* _6 a0 m, b9 ^9 P- {> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
7 X2 R8 X$ S3 g K* M: K> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be! O ^" I1 p$ B& ^6 k
> > directed elsewhere. |
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