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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
7 ?5 Y" N- L% M; N1 E> > Effective January 20075 @7 d8 R2 Y. L U% @2 e
> >& d' s$ W$ G4 V0 f- z7 y7 `( u
> > Dress Code8 d+ N# u# X5 A) Y; T( G7 [
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed* r- N% H# @' y1 J% Q- a
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
* ?+ b# n2 K K4 P$ @> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume+ e. N7 t x5 a# V! i: y4 k a _
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not# m: f$ @- M, @7 F; |
> > need a pay raise.8 O: _: n- ^) H+ ^, U
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage- o( X8 f$ x7 Z( y( {* s" ^
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
: ^7 t9 _' X: T7 z/ x3 |9 C> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.. o, P& Y. w/ a f
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you( X; D5 u8 o6 s$ _- l+ g- h( l: \% k
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay1 W$ p( G- V7 J9 P, k
> > raise.
( R& ?7 }; Q' h0 G0 \# @> >$ i8 c% U5 a* n4 E
> > Sick Days# A# c1 u4 V. c- Y' K
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as& |3 U# ?; [- A3 M1 G; _
> > proof of sickness. r2 ?( l# h6 }% v
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
% z3 `' j* o6 H8 }> > to come to work.
$ {$ q. d) `) I) t+ |( ^$ v. M0 |> >' J }% T4 ]& J% z/ u' H0 U' y9 t
> > Holiday Days8 d1 ]2 [/ Q8 W4 a5 |
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
5 Q! b! @0 t* }> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
& b i9 _+ d9 d' j! w# u: g; y> >8 l+ Y E4 m7 p' M( g
> > Compassionate Leave9 a( T7 _" R& o h( [2 H8 ~
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
2 a9 c5 D E/ f0 N7 i0 e> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- U* W- i6 Q( {5 S3 @* L
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
. i: v) y2 |+ s2 Z7 _1 W> > employees attend to the arrangements.3 n% q* y6 u" J
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
6 I% _; i' M& B. d/ X& W6 @& `> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
7 ~9 ]7 f5 b! F/ U> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work6 V, M) n7 r- D! _ h) Z
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one4 i$ j6 v' c2 V9 B
> > hour early.% P; b$ z$ _+ n, n; S% ?
> >
4 d+ ^* N0 Y& U( Z> > Toilet Use
& c; q/ _: S+ x2 j% D0 t> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the$ n' @; f M/ U1 P# p6 Q( C
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit5 q. m+ x/ P T) Y1 U. I
> > in the cubicles.
+ U, _' }: U# v5 _, [& X8 u> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will, @8 o1 N! e, Q; B K$ v
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
+ v; S, t$ Q9 Z+ k& i> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
, \$ _7 f% P6 _ D> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be# P5 x+ m+ J# T6 ~. S/ p1 e7 q
> > posted on the company notice board under the$ Y2 @. R L' t b
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.8 I$ e8 W" @; D3 v$ v+ d
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
9 m E Z4 e' [1 {( I> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
% e5 y- G% r4 h> > policy.2 z: P( p6 K( j1 R. m
> >" E6 f7 ?4 o- N2 m* u% s1 [
> > Lunch Break% b% L2 y% H8 B6 Z& _% i
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they+ o0 t4 R% Z8 q5 ~
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
[! `. S4 V( t |> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
1 E- T/ o, _+ H> > maintain their average figure.5 `5 y+ `3 L( L: Y
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
3 w! `( u7 V( E* }+ j. p> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast., j; l8 ~! x5 D" w) d1 L
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are+ N' a. N- I( ?, F
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
; `* n7 C# l) A3 h> > employment experience.
- P# B! C0 r2 ^$ J2 ], O> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,9 ^+ m) o- u! h" m. i
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
, q1 X" i6 f' r; w8 y# \# t> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be& q1 O9 I4 t7 Z! e8 d% d9 E K- [
> > directed elsewhere. |
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