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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
! o+ ^* a. K, ?9 L> > Effective January 2007
4 W2 \2 [6 ?0 P1 P& v4 X. Q; }> >
& ^" H- N) l B Y6 X$ B5 i! o4 c> > Dress Code4 f4 B+ I- X+ B0 l
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed8 g" u% q7 A6 s4 H
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing- s! |8 c4 E. r4 ?7 d
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
7 U) u1 }) S: s2 t' l: u8 Q> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not3 _# _- x" P+ A$ I0 s
> > need a pay raise.8 `1 q- D5 | C
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage* |% d: b% {/ b3 B: m
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
- K; N6 `6 Y7 U/ P/ E8 ]2 P> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise. ^" t5 }/ I' ~9 O% h4 `1 a' }
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
; a( \& ~" R* o: v> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
4 m. D+ W" j- Q: o7 E> > raise./ p8 w: n1 t! B1 J9 P/ B9 E
> >
3 R1 F8 v5 e. w& c; O9 ^> > Sick Days
3 P. d5 v1 Q3 \& i, h: A6 d8 f( q' v+ n9 O> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as& ?5 R9 Z! ] H
> > proof of sickness.
9 P+ K: p2 H; o3 o% n' l> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able2 y9 X' u% {- j H3 I! R) h. r
> > to come to work.
8 f7 c4 B1 I3 M& B0 C' v* u+ l> >, l" }5 b* Z7 ?- J4 K3 _
> > Holiday Days
$ o& o6 g3 ?- {$ e& L5 C6 I> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
e' B7 u2 i5 T4 U. O. v> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
# V; q" o8 B6 G! d z4 `9 Y> >
% R* d7 H) G3 S$ D* H1 Z> > Compassionate Leave3 |* X* ~# X2 c, s! y% e
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
' t9 q! Y+ \4 E% C> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-, g. Y) _1 g( E E3 {/ ~( |( Z+ N& R
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
) J* J, W8 H, c( G& A3 d> > employees attend to the arrangements.
H) v8 b% I; O8 |% o> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
4 o1 M% ]: f% a2 t> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the5 t: E; [" F. N5 @) |4 j2 Z
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
& J* P# }* }7 h h2 b( c5 v> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
, }. i# }7 t' h+ D' J2 }2 b/ t> > hour early.
" [8 N( ~! j4 q$ S5 I, |> >
* ?1 ^- l4 R8 J, R+ A5 Z9 c> > Toilet Use; N' w4 m7 a2 M5 ]& ^ z, }
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the1 E; Z0 q, e3 F7 a, [
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit7 E3 z! o, X& o; G1 ~
> > in the cubicles.
7 K; c# W9 L- ~> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will% l: r. i3 H2 N8 S/ n
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
1 b( E; E. t- E3 \, E> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
# _" S2 V0 J% a> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be: e9 w e$ P' j% b: ^+ t: H
> > posted on the company notice board under the# j) V5 s/ l+ l g
> > "Chronic Offenders" category." r4 K, X0 U/ i: l8 q0 H8 ?: J
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be1 V& K) [/ d" H; }5 ?1 K' M7 z; ]
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health/ K6 ?: b) l* o, ?4 l5 W, J" Q
> > policy.
9 C( n5 R; g7 V> >
0 d, h! L7 F9 G, c; l' F! Q; N) y) S> > Lunch Break
$ `+ @9 {0 F" F; v4 y> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they7 B. n; o, c; Z& O! M: |1 M
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy., s1 u) g0 C [4 Y5 q4 x
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to; T& G+ N" m$ y9 d% \
> > maintain their average figure.
1 K( _8 j7 T( M. w1 D& o* H> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
( x0 P) P. J* i. I7 Q> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
+ d8 L) q- e% O9 ?> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
* o2 G2 y. s G) o! ^/ M. q; S> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
8 U9 f; k+ E ~ K. p# v& `> > employment experience.; m. D O: \; D/ [! x5 U) M
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,4 U+ T4 `3 V0 e- P- p% b
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,2 K0 h& `9 P5 r8 ^# `
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
. ~# i2 B0 M8 c2 x> > directed elsewhere. |
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