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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
+ ?. b( `% s: x* \( q/ E> > Effective January 2007: l; I7 K4 [8 ?$ P5 y
> >& N6 D- p1 c# v
> > Dress Code6 _9 }' x H) P$ \
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed8 Z* f- O2 E. R, i1 p u3 a
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing# s( {3 H! N5 c: m% n# t' y) C
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
8 H) w6 T8 ?% S, j) k0 R( W> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not& j. a" C* y! w( E1 q* U$ D
> > need a pay raise.
* h i7 G7 h5 e: P' `( ]' L> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage6 d" a; X n5 B! R
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer$ P; c' g' b2 ^5 j: y2 X' x' ~
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.( A6 g' K, g* F/ w( X* e
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you7 \- m! X( O9 ^7 K. K
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
0 P4 E& k. g: ` q1 a: J/ O> > raise.4 n9 T' R3 d' P o$ E2 n
> >/ P" U% N4 I; q
> > Sick Days
2 s& [6 U' q- r5 a$ ?> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as& ^: O( R; z3 A* G
> > proof of sickness.( i$ z0 X _6 J. s' V3 @
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
& I4 v0 l8 w- i; e3 u> > to come to work.
: p+ j6 q \: _* l> >5 H2 @$ B6 |" n9 m" s* x% \0 d$ I
> > Holiday Days
& x% P8 l' x$ x, z& x+ G- c, A> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a7 w- U8 s% x$ s) ?/ C
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.0 i: l. h2 f. o* U( s6 q% ]
> >+ b8 p" \$ H. q3 J
> > Compassionate Leave9 u; C0 q( `' v# i" P% U3 x
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
( G6 D3 j' U. ]: a9 @& w) r, S> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-% |" r# S6 x. o1 H* h. T" \2 g- {5 l
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-! J4 g+ G. V! V( D
> > employees attend to the arrangements.# H2 }5 c8 N" K1 ^" _: `
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
& ^7 w: i5 }$ R6 z> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the/ Q* e1 ]& g- s
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
/ d8 l0 @9 I3 I4 b5 ~1 w8 I> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
' e" k$ q! L4 p% b0 D; w# T> > hour early.
0 f8 f6 A; G9 M5 `$ m2 \/ m> >; C1 p8 s/ ?% F' H6 k
> > Toilet Use! E! n- [- t. A7 F# p
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the+ n. y2 o; ^1 U. q+ H8 P
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit a& r- F! g0 d, x5 f( l& @1 w! l$ j
> > in the cubicles. x9 u$ @4 T- u
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
' S/ a& ^9 E' K, O" ?3 F> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
6 j- r' D# c) f2 h: s- Y* b> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
+ L6 a9 f h5 p* X8 W% G0 Q> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
/ E. K% T3 P" m> > posted on the company notice board under the Y7 H$ p5 V) ?. p/ R+ v+ \- Q
> > "Chronic Offenders" category./ v+ J1 V' V1 w1 t
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
. m% @0 Q; k9 Z) z$ n- g" I> > sanctioned under the company's mental health0 l* N" U. }; v4 r
> > policy." b3 i! Y8 J0 B- a8 c6 _
> >- ]# k- k: y. h: P+ o
> > Lunch Break, C$ r9 z9 x' d% s. t5 v
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they8 T+ o6 f8 A9 o) {/ |
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
) U1 z: }0 [. D: A2 `$ k> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
8 j4 o; b1 |! B& f> > maintain their average figure.3 b* d; d" L7 V. n/ E
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time9 _# k, c) N' i# O+ B& @2 D$ r
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.8 m7 D8 {3 |# o, X m7 b8 j
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are2 X, f6 R8 _% p% q( O) g# _/ ~
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
+ S4 Y& s3 v1 i( `7 b1 A7 ]9 q- e* n> > employment experience.8 k5 S6 |( M# @4 ]3 P! U6 P1 o! t
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
6 M) b A0 g P> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
+ x. P. k r7 e( q- o> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be% s i4 B; m; i1 C' ]
> > directed elsewhere. |
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