|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:
, N; ~$ L; p f) ]# |" n; B% X> > Effective January 2007
8 L4 R( C# ?5 i3 E0 q( J> >
" g. e, c1 p" L* a) r5 F: _, J> > Dress Code
/ k9 W( w0 d9 K- u. S> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed! w( `% }4 C& N$ F9 f
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing4 O R e$ \/ O" u* R! p
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume% J1 a4 D! u6 i8 A3 ^% U& D
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
% g. I z# S b> > need a pay raise.
( Q" Y5 K/ u, N) r> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
) F; a- u. _9 k) L# C' O$ V> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
1 ^1 _2 R6 h) q2 L( D+ V% i6 E1 z> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3 @& L' u( o. J5 {1 h6 l> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you4 U: \8 ?' I% \. l* B c
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
# S4 v2 G/ B1 e' b1 m9 o> > raise.
" W& L0 @% B3 |" v6 K> >9 X, b Y! W. z( w& N3 A
> > Sick Days
d1 y0 b# m# v! q> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as* C$ ?1 s- d! `. e C
> > proof of sickness.% |- s( d/ v2 _8 n7 c
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
) G6 l9 V. e6 M P; b- A> > to come to work.
, V n) U- v+ |4 q5 l& L: |0 E> >0 ?4 M$ z& `, t$ I5 ]& R
> > Holiday Days
6 {3 w7 a! q4 k9 o1 B. ~( [- ? c> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
5 d9 e5 \5 A/ ?+ E> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
1 D o. P* E# \+ R9 C& ^3 P> >
/ t# N D9 j1 R# {, b$ Q- W> > Compassionate Leave% x( ]7 W: M3 c' @) {4 ^
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
8 Q' A. G2 Z4 A; C4 Q> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-! u: c \1 B) }7 p- P" b
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-6 N3 K6 _" p1 O+ I: h% D, V
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
# |- X. I) `+ ~- x9 L8 t> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
9 O$ y7 k; L2 r( g4 W( {' z> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
+ O' U# C' x3 N( \> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work+ [5 ~: l5 P5 u a8 {
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one# d! B+ |5 g. U4 |
> > hour early.2 P4 v' Q; O; l
> >- x' w. c. L2 n" B/ ]0 Z: ~
> > Toilet Use8 V9 W6 D; \9 M# o# I
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the/ j- {9 N4 V( B0 n; s% M
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit$ V# L. |: J9 K- n% O V3 {
> > in the cubicles.) u$ i# @; |" I( l! L6 g
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will0 L( I$ `" R& y# G
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle9 h, J1 C. l4 ?3 k5 U' V
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
1 ?8 ?# o- ?/ r$ Q! }/ i/ F> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
# R5 O7 r( c. [* _> > posted on the company notice board under the z) ?. ~. \$ q: c4 w
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
5 D( @6 x! @1 `. ?6 o> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be5 k( i" A1 J5 R# r
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health, J4 Y' N1 y; s& q; }
> > policy.! Q8 X$ ]5 O$ P. N, B" z
> >
) Y( ?8 W h/ V8 b' Z n& w* C8 \> > Lunch Break
b) V& v6 U# h/ I' b" o> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
# F, V3 z; c/ N' d' q> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
2 d( k) K9 {* z, I/ w8 D; r> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to( J5 P9 n0 c0 x# X
> > maintain their average figure.
5 Y; r4 l3 H! M* _; q8 G> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
+ u/ B1 c) w# g% N+ O: T8 @> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
6 ?) ?% Y! T2 ~2 o> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
0 L8 e8 L$ D# `9 k: I# o> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
! I d& Z# }( m" I0 \7 t- N4 I! Y9 a> > employment experience.. t# z& J5 S( k! l# b j0 D6 J# y
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
4 l9 d/ M* s( Y6 O3 m> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,; Z' x+ i# s' V& s* ]
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
* E8 {# C9 u! v9 z$ a' r> > directed elsewhere. |
|
