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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:+ n" m9 b# M5 j, ~6 C* k& k
> > Effective January 2007
9 l9 C( \ H5 V8 T/ U; l; G' H> >
9 ?- b$ x5 l) g* V H. {. Q( y> > Dress Code
7 @( H1 }" Q5 W2 J) J1 b4 c> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
, B8 _; C7 P, h) C; Y2 s> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing0 T: g7 c% f) p4 c6 P5 [
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume. _4 U2 n1 E) M0 N; p
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not1 W* ]; {" ~- u0 q6 r) \
> > need a pay raise.
+ r9 \0 R( G8 ^6 P> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage# d2 }! h5 Y, t& e
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer1 W, B6 V4 H- f, H
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
# g d4 }3 @1 R8 ]$ W9 f> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you# F4 U" E9 D( x5 V' h* a
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
2 y9 l% N; `( s% w x> > raise.3 U* j* |/ c" r
> >4 Q1 ]* }. i+ d# E+ v
> > Sick Days
# r$ o9 r& |1 J% g: p+ ]> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
" y t- A! a! t" ]4 B> > proof of sickness.3 s0 D$ k" Z; i& v. s
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able/ w. ? t* s. }# f7 p
> > to come to work.
: ]# p! L6 j: E> >& \" T- e0 [- c1 V) [5 J" x% E
> > Holiday Days% k+ C* r. L+ T1 N+ l7 y/ K4 B
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a7 A8 C" [1 R; e0 G$ k0 b3 V
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.. p2 ~1 ]+ K! M) i4 T
> >! x8 T( Y2 u3 d5 P* d7 t$ A* H
> > Compassionate Leave: i+ W# B! b1 ~: m6 w6 p
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
% a6 I0 _& q) q> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
- Y+ F/ D& Z; M) \0 i; F& k3 U> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-! p- u9 X* P: E* J
> > employees attend to the arrangements.! ^% d$ q- U9 D e
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is8 y! d8 s4 j5 U' y+ `
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the+ l3 u) w2 u* v4 ?5 w% k
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work8 O8 o* R0 G) _9 p% `3 t; N% a7 r
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
/ ~/ E+ ^! r& J% j, w, A% c6 d* T# j* v> > hour early.
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> > Toilet Use7 [8 i2 ?3 L' }9 g" t0 w
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
% H5 i4 @- n* D3 q; o2 ^> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit f4 C; w2 e: {
> > in the cubicles.1 D! w4 b. a$ t3 W9 D, q- q
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will1 R# D: D0 X: A% l
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
2 j$ x( N2 W0 @/ O/ c* _> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
) R* V: m- r- h# _7 j X h- U> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be- p# t# ?3 H6 T) p) L
> > posted on the company notice board under the
& T+ A: L# r- Q1 N+ h3 f$ O> > "Chronic Offenders" category.9 F1 Q' G! Q w3 h: `
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
- J1 r7 [ `' g) j* Y> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
8 J- y" J4 `$ A& o$ P% }> > policy.
, q7 i1 @( Z9 {! W! [+ |. Y% `> >5 A. k1 ]" t( t1 Z" w6 w
> > Lunch Break4 X7 @5 s9 w0 u! W7 n
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they. x+ ^! }& @6 ]: X" {# k; j
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
/ {% J3 Y4 N; L7 ?- D: d S> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to1 o8 E# L0 J& Q
> > maintain their average figure.
& ~2 p" X* k! c7 ^. c/ B% x4 Y> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time0 h" s( P* J% O
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.$ w. K2 n. ~& {
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are1 Z& f& @$ A) t$ t3 `( M i
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
, w" Y: x2 N- t: Y! ?% E> > employment experience.
; A1 `7 z! R2 q3 C> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,# [, w+ c2 X1 U; Y9 A8 ?
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,5 _: I! H8 W+ Q
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be( {3 j0 r7 n# t4 C5 j$ ~
> > directed elsewhere. |
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