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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees: Z! S" E6 z+ ]3 L- l5 s% b
> > Effective January 2007
% c+ E7 f- k+ a; d) Q> >
3 D& F0 j8 z w* B> > Dress Code3 K5 H3 g: v; p
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
) ]% {5 ^+ H3 |. a# J8 Y> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing% c- b+ ?% o+ b: ^6 _9 [1 O
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume! l6 B& E5 ^* | d7 J! M% @
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
O/ [( L! a" L" a> > need a pay raise., L v E0 X: v0 x9 L& M" g1 K. u# v
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage8 U& L' W% z4 D2 {0 k
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer8 n% Q% |& h! D( |/ {
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.- X3 n4 k4 s8 Z; x. w9 U( d
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you/ ^! S4 p+ b5 s+ e" I% ]
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
) ~, l% w: H7 H4 L) }> > raise.# g" _" J4 p* h3 p3 q B
> >
/ ~" V0 \. r' k+ n- z- _7 X0 |> > Sick Days
l: X1 ^. r% U4 d+ p* N> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as) ?) E7 ?+ q M0 a7 m6 x' d
> > proof of sickness.
0 A" Q7 G7 Q2 j/ i> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able4 y3 {" Z% E) ~6 W
> > to come to work.$ I" X) [& Y P6 {1 q8 B
> >
4 g/ E0 X# ?" |- ]' M, _> > Holiday Days! e" q# i3 I" @! Y
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
; g; o" V" w" M/ j( R% ]> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
& ?/ e$ L8 A3 r, T# U> >
q# P/ E/ T9 W" K- p> > Compassionate Leave
3 o% t, r: [4 E7 J3 p- P> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
. N0 L2 A+ ~0 I$ C9 [> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
4 v# N6 _# I' J$ f> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
; L6 ^* v" _# V> > employees attend to the arrangements., P, d$ d9 c5 T! C3 D+ q
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
+ E, e& h3 N5 Y$ s> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the/ N' U/ \( \7 Z* B+ [, |
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work) [# t8 |% G- F; W+ j/ X. T3 l! U+ S
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one' V- I! N0 s: p+ [9 g* \; i4 {
> > hour early.7 R( E" U1 l* j( H
> >% N. W( D% L! v" M& Y6 f
> > Toilet Use
7 V6 X. C; }- z4 c w5 Q4 g' s. I0 V# z> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
! i; n# C) ]" N+ ]% r> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
5 L" s8 Z/ r5 _) [3 Q> > in the cubicles.
' `9 |7 R7 u% R8 T& Q. P( f) Y> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
0 E5 \) `* s1 a3 W> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle7 T! T$ ]* i) z* a
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.5 q2 @6 r3 K9 W2 b# [ R# d3 B1 P
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
; U4 y2 n" y3 z> > posted on the company notice board under the! s) ~5 D2 k5 L! n
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
8 Q7 K7 B2 r# G9 [> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
, J. c1 r+ g' @" ^. E) Y> > sanctioned under the company's mental health% ~ f! S$ x# J& A, M6 x
> > policy.
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> > Lunch Break
$ P: P- ]. Q# q, z( s& m9 z6 U9 Q4 E> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they d6 o2 T) _; d( p$ | v, Z: G
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
+ N. X. [# v0 r; ?6 R# ^> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to3 U/ `, M) A7 A* _" p3 h V
> > maintain their average figure.
! r" h$ h# F9 _0 u# x> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
5 T) C: ?4 [/ `* j9 ~2 ? `+ Y) x: y> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.8 X! {7 T% c- T) ]0 c) D
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
, y* u' C0 e3 B9 v' m5 J; M> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
6 a& h4 `; p' @7 j> > employment experience.: W. E3 W1 X0 c- ~, d
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
" C, y, ]& A1 \% u( Y# {' }> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,3 X: O4 G: v, o9 F/ |
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
& K+ \% O1 m& X4 H2 q> > directed elsewhere. |
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