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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
3 V C8 W) g* B4 F; _5 Z> > Effective January 2007
2 }) y1 J1 J1 d5 P: y# F5 `0 c8 N> >+ \) r! ]% ?6 L- X B
> > Dress Code2 A- z+ T; L2 j: k4 i
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed4 ]/ D# \2 |$ g2 S9 x2 x7 B
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing$ A: w1 \( h' R: i# O) [/ Q$ d2 F
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume j) Y8 y& @3 P
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
5 W. b) {# n0 _: w5 y; d, H5 O/ i> > need a pay raise.2 x( H5 f4 n& T- g! k
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage3 N2 f9 g& I" I1 D
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
$ K) R, O4 H5 s> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
4 E* y: w& S. t+ Z> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
0 b [" q! Y8 F9 D> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay" `/ S" B+ ~: B4 I3 Q( O$ P
> > raise.
2 b4 U$ g2 ~& Y+ O5 O I> >
3 H- q+ ~- V4 ?2 @" H9 R> > Sick Days. x5 j h! a- b) |
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
! X, `9 \/ d% g' M> > proof of sickness.
x0 u2 N- G, W k" S' h1 @> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
( [8 N% j2 ]7 s> > to come to work.
/ u7 ]. ?, [* L5 |' d3 R> >! \( q4 j/ N9 t4 V
> > Holiday Days6 u) c0 c8 N5 x- N" E
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a' L5 k G/ B( b6 M. X# t2 E
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.+ L& [7 C% w) O7 n" w/ ~
> >0 `+ U: e% I5 T; g3 ^' R8 {
> > Compassionate Leave
/ X3 l/ a7 n) j> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
3 e% h! }* |" U) K0 Z$ R" g5 c: J" M> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
* M* _' O4 Q/ C% M/ W/ G0 U6 m2 G> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-8 {3 E0 d6 P" }( g W) P$ i
> > employees attend to the arrangements.6 B5 W- b& d* @3 {+ k
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
6 R0 E$ K6 z0 ]1 M5 x" O- [3 P> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
: @3 s+ w% g& H) v5 q" H$ O> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work: U) ]8 K5 p2 I4 V# f. q
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
$ k$ g# Z% z9 t f1 P> > hour early.
7 t% F: r0 Q8 e3 x/ \> >
2 J3 u: @/ H# t3 }8 f. P> > Toilet Use. O* w/ K/ a$ |4 g
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the! w2 b8 d {# i' \$ a8 q* s
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
$ a) L [5 \2 g- {- g3 x/ l3 f$ M> > in the cubicles.1 h" e, ]6 z* `' V
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
1 _' z1 S/ h. |7 T {+ O; K> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle% t! {& e, A0 z% R
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.% F1 o% [* D) Y* C% [- M
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be' o+ k, e! q- b- q2 ~5 P3 F
> > posted on the company notice board under the
9 X! O! f. A. n0 M/ Y7 C$ N> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
( p9 A7 N8 Q6 Z- | Y. n> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
0 g0 ]2 E' R2 Y. D2 p> > sanctioned under the company's mental health$ m* W; s4 O. z, N1 H; S' t
> > policy.- y9 G$ `5 B0 N: I) c+ w. r
> >
! t/ U# Q; K" h> > Lunch Break! c4 W0 ^% e# C4 ?6 Y$ ]
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they8 z! T9 w" O/ z5 C
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.2 g Z* f+ G% x% Y2 ~
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to5 ~' E& q; u# {9 f; r
> > maintain their average figure.: d" ^: [% n% {$ l$ }
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
0 k9 e7 {% w v! V5 Z& J2 ~/ T> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast., Q# Y6 x" O6 f
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are, e8 R; m& t# Q7 [
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive6 b1 e2 k& r8 d- ~! H* v
> > employment experience.
, a: v# ]; v7 f0 |6 q; ~6 R- O* j> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,8 ?5 |: a( V( f
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,3 F$ U- I6 _* r, b7 G( F% m' z( o
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be' b) R' W8 U8 [% f* K9 S
> > directed elsewhere. |
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