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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:; L/ ^. W/ E- v! n: ^) T- D3 R! Y
> > Effective January 2007: Z, j* A$ ?9 N5 o9 R
> >7 @( S$ ^* {* N" ]! f
> > Dress Code1 D. ]( m) l4 o& O5 P
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
! Q8 G. |+ _! \; K* U> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
s" }; _: l$ ^5 U8 U8 U> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume/ F, F# z+ g* {+ f$ R9 S4 z
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
! |, c4 K; {4 S( d9 y/ d- E> > need a pay raise. a7 A# E9 j3 k! O6 A
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
$ E. T6 e0 j D5 O> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
4 x6 B2 }9 s, `+ L: ~5 w; Q: H7 N7 F> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise. X) Z& T F6 g6 P& s1 Z; S% ~
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
# D; ]! Z/ p, h- f> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay/ O' z: Y6 @- g. X7 V1 o, s
> > raise.' y8 O `6 i4 v( }' y
> >
- `! l* }0 T2 K% F> > Sick Days6 y$ t: a: h$ _8 D- |% x
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
) N% w+ Y# v/ n2 j> > proof of sickness.
8 Q2 i, b) x& e> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able- X% Z1 ?! g8 _0 Y$ a8 D; W5 ^
> > to come to work.
1 c5 u+ Z+ A# _> >6 I5 k3 G& p$ j) @5 b$ H* J8 i
> > Holiday Days
( O I6 y+ o5 D- U> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
4 ]# W; X* s ~8 F2 E a( w> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
/ r& Y# Y b* D% `, y' u7 v> >( S+ j( R6 E/ E2 b9 }
> > Compassionate Leave# r! B0 N* k5 f3 h& i! @
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing. w: |" T, I8 k
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
U9 n: l. S Y' X> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
8 t4 c C5 p; T- G7 U1 U> > employees attend to the arrangements.3 _2 R S$ O$ r- z$ C
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is2 b7 }# O2 f% b9 b1 U4 s
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
! [4 X( w& `" E( H s/ F- w> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
: Y$ c7 f* _, {' T$ d3 ]> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one1 `- A2 n2 Y4 s8 _ K& J
> > hour early.5 j$ d' v8 q5 Z2 p5 {
> >2 N/ R& E% A; B* {9 X" d- @
> > Toilet Use
, g' J/ \/ S7 `) \/ U! r> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
: y+ N H9 u+ X9 F1 \' Q> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit- P. p1 A* V$ d3 h, _
> > in the cubicles.
( E2 k/ \5 E" m v) F2 \+ O8 i* Q# P l, g> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
, s ~: m) p% @5 L" }. c> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
% \1 h7 m8 o0 u: X& P X> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.8 E' f5 N$ P7 @
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be, }' y. b, t6 [9 O
> > posted on the company notice board under the
}! W) Y% C1 d4 a: r> > "Chronic Offenders" category.8 w% h1 V3 s z d1 K0 G- H
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be! @2 s k! H/ M Y# w$ U$ o. i( A
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health' D5 v( j( M1 o" ^8 Z0 F' u
> > policy.& R% V* Y5 @4 E: Z( Y. h3 B
> >
& X' j# }, y6 e1 H& R> > Lunch Break
5 o" ]. @- m \) @- Y: I> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they* d5 K1 y( D. J* d+ y& l4 g
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.$ _" T- K+ F. ~3 `
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to9 k& n8 o# ^8 H4 M; T) I1 _& m
> > maintain their average figure.
* I- I ^- r: z' ]3 f N8 E, a' _( x a> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time. |5 P) |7 m e" T1 h. e& l
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
2 \9 m0 o @' t6 w& Q3 V9 C! ]: H> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are, C! e1 ^! [* E: @0 O- T
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive+ d7 O+ t+ B6 g
> > employment experience." H3 i% D# |9 A* P/ h3 z& [
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,# S$ d4 U6 Z. j
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
5 O. B7 I" M6 p: g0 f> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
3 K) S& z8 v& E9 C: [( y+ w$ q5 R> > directed elsewhere. |
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