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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:. t/ A; F& z% P+ `( ?! ~5 y! ]
> > Effective January 2007
7 R9 A5 U& d- F/ b> >6 o; ~, t: E$ D# H8 U/ e
> > Dress Code4 ]# h9 ?" _5 S8 r
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed3 _3 m* y: N. d" K6 W- B4 h h; e
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
' q! R0 h3 e/ w9 n( y8 m F! D6 C- F> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume& J, R5 s0 B' \
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not/ X- {% \/ r* |% o* J" q
> > need a pay raise.( r. j- d+ c& T5 ?
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage4 a1 t0 H% p: m4 q, {4 R" h
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
1 Q7 h. h2 W: [- B. |$ H! Q4 W: q> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.. q, T/ |# k: e
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
* O% {6 Q9 d3 [% o5 w> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
: i! l' ?/ |6 ?* r6 @> > raise.
! x3 M: m i3 _7 j3 j* D5 @: }> >
7 a6 H- i) X; S J> > Sick Days7 g/ K- W% w0 }7 ?. S
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as3 [" E0 Q: e! a
> > proof of sickness.
. p$ `& z$ R' E p4 {; ^4 N# S> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able: S( {5 E$ P, K" g: O
> > to come to work.
7 h/ A( j# V( B8 u6 u8 s8 e> >" J* x- [& W7 a, b
> > Holiday Days
! s' P B; \+ e! a> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a$ {- D# d% L; h' `
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.: \; V$ h% S( G8 T* F" I
> >& a0 Z B: b+ [% E. W) V. j9 m0 P/ W7 w
> > Compassionate Leave' t0 I1 w. \# H/ h0 O
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing4 B6 Q6 U! o5 h8 o' ~3 r
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
. Q/ P- E& G q7 y> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-# H2 f! B8 u# Q9 H/ [, [( v" ~- I% B
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
$ i: x G, H- `5 R# f> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
) @9 D/ |7 K6 b6 L> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
6 q) W7 k" }5 y* O J> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work/ G/ M; `: v; F: s5 X" S
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one+ I5 C8 K3 r% M U; g3 k$ p) j: h# U
> > hour early.
0 F: H! B7 @7 g. s> >
; \: B& U$ t/ L6 C8 R> > Toilet Use% ^' S b- B3 K0 I9 Q0 a
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the! [6 `+ H- Z& C' o3 J' H; U% ~
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit* ]+ W, a6 `, ~% g
> > in the cubicles./ p, l( ~1 o/ M. g. R. ]3 E% h+ ?
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will6 N) t7 f6 @0 Z/ h. g6 c& Q4 i
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
; t I* L9 j% T6 i5 h- V9 h0 j> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
4 A! }! y* w" \. j8 X2 x> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
& I9 r2 Y/ c) o. C$ O4 V# A3 D% S> > posted on the company notice board under the
7 B0 M" U5 M, O* Z> > "Chronic Offenders" category. p) U$ E3 `4 m7 n
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
+ S, x3 t2 g0 O% _> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
- V7 c! ?# i( b> > policy.
* i4 W( F$ C+ @8 u, o> >7 S! G7 q0 t, I: R9 l
> > Lunch Break
1 c0 P/ l0 ~8 p, o& t m' E> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
' o9 m; _& L. a4 B! U4 f$ k> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.- F& q, H: Z0 w \) I) a9 J; T
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
% y7 b. n- V$ |4 W) Z> > maintain their average figure.
: T- o! `* Q0 x> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time8 g+ R* }+ }( \4 I' A
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.7 I) m7 ^. d+ v8 e2 z6 S
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
; g! ^1 a" y+ v' J4 @$ e> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
1 X$ }& @" |# K; L; R> > employment experience.
' D, a7 f- q6 h# j5 U> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
7 e: A$ O3 H6 Y> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,; C9 m# o& m) J2 Q; o$ U* `
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
) r+ w& f' o+ Y* z> > directed elsewhere. |
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