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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
$ z1 H+ v& P9 M: G> > Effective January 2007; Y/ L! z' \( X# ]
> ># y3 h7 b7 t1 ?8 r2 e
> > Dress Code
4 K1 U8 _. E; m* A7 ]> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
; F% @% e' s( }% r/ e# N- @1 S> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing. z2 X4 |# f! w
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume# G7 z' Y/ r0 @6 F- F3 J/ O3 L
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
. r+ ^$ R4 J+ u7 I> > need a pay raise.
2 W1 ?3 T+ |, T> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
0 o1 ?, ?' y) B/ T+ S: v4 o> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer* V& r& t$ f/ u
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
6 f* N( o+ e8 ]> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you- p% g% A9 ]& r* Q# p/ N T0 L$ f
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
# k, u: Y; _' n9 P2 z) e> > raise.; n p1 c4 O) d& `- F! Z" V) E
> >( T8 [- h0 a2 H- P! z
> > Sick Days' E) @+ s% ~" x1 q" `2 ^
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
2 b9 z/ u- A6 S' _& J8 I> > proof of sickness.7 ?- Z* ~1 d9 K! m! f1 n7 Q
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
' c" e9 G! c2 O) f5 `3 z> > to come to work.
% J3 s! H8 r" k1 ?6 R> >
1 L: [- J; E/ x- a( ?> > Holiday Days
$ l; w5 i0 F8 F" L" y> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a) t/ Y4 `! F ~ r- S" q' |- K8 i) H
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.) I7 Z8 z8 H1 j- R7 X* }7 x
> ># R) f7 ?. Z: _2 N' J+ L" A
> > Compassionate Leave& U; b4 p9 A/ U
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
0 [: B7 ~' Q+ Z% D> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
9 B0 R- T6 m' f% q2 v> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
% R2 M; ^ `% k# k- m> > employees attend to the arrangements.
# ^4 X# M/ n4 [8 q' h# G> > In rare cases where employee involvement is: n+ L5 [" E) J" p
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the# ^* ~/ K" f, c) r& c
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
0 `' r8 q1 o& Q6 V# e' p+ g> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one9 a2 }$ Q% t @6 d+ F% d
> > hour early.
: m1 c3 R1 `' m1 |> >
& H& Z6 J! C3 p> > Toilet Use, m% L$ P/ Y" t+ }: k8 O! ?
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the2 b+ ~& b, _, g2 {6 I1 ~
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
C7 T9 z$ v4 L> > in the cubicles. s- ]! m- L$ y* V" G# Q
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
% r$ R# ^. t/ I2 k> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
& E. u( h0 o% X4 m$ d. m; o# e2 l> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
4 ^- Q2 o! g7 H3 [6 d> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
! V4 t/ I9 m! X: z> > posted on the company notice board under the
+ i) h) h+ Y3 K- W8 }, t# X$ ~> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
, K6 A' C" B& K> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be; M- Z& u- T' O
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health6 ^0 H, w; O3 v+ d( G' a- e! n3 n
> > policy.; {6 W' {' f2 }0 P
> >
: D, j; Z( \( ?: A> > Lunch Break5 w, z' k* l, ~' }
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they, ~. x3 Q2 u. k/ n1 J- v- D2 F
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.9 n; o. `9 J! @2 F
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to# L3 S9 [7 ~! C
> > maintain their average figure." c$ H X s" V+ D, o
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time" y+ ?7 @* J u. R& A$ K! o& C
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
2 I; Z# C4 a }7 c> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
" o& R# O, b4 V/ d3 Q, _. M> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive& J: G& w2 ]# N" L
> > employment experience.
( {* K+ C! S, `: ?( ^( j> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
/ }% l8 Z5 V( ^ j2 {- |1 l2 [. u> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,* U! _' Z" X/ \: w7 {5 E5 s
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
% R5 p5 x) Y5 r, C+ y- ?; o/ V> > directed elsewhere. |
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