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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
6 x- r) C$ x( A* q/ {: h> > Effective January 2007
! z9 q4 J$ L" s, Z5 F> >
; I% u: g' ~# _6 i3 Y* X> > Dress Code$ L" v1 w6 d9 x7 \* t: t
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
' F# a/ J0 r( u& x* ]7 k, i4 w> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
" W2 @0 @' V& y+ _0 Y# v> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume( F7 N7 U6 |3 |" h
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
$ \; z# {7 U" W; \ Z' E3 C7 {4 w> > need a pay raise.7 E; x5 g2 B' ~& P2 G0 R
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage4 [& }+ R3 D& o! |
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer1 Q2 V1 A4 ^4 l; S
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
+ F0 B/ H9 J& V9 K8 W% ~9 q> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
& I8 G9 I2 }) o> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay/ j$ [9 }* X! \
> > raise.2 q; ^- X. [9 h
> >2 H7 J9 I% p k6 s+ }- T4 g/ Y* l
> > Sick Days k) b1 U# X2 _9 Z V
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
- P% z# s- D$ S( n* r> > proof of sickness.) A5 |( i6 s/ y/ Y
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able' L6 P8 ]* h8 Y; K: X& P" w& X+ @
> > to come to work.
3 a" S2 a o, e/ H. B> >- s7 q" a' V+ t3 g* B! ^ o
> > Holiday Days c( Z6 v. {# n4 V
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a5 z) l6 O3 I0 E* a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
* Z7 S0 p; _- Y5 k5 W) V$ ]> > ] t) K0 X4 k# F4 P2 N4 E
> > Compassionate Leave
% t4 e5 f9 d; _7 x> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing4 H' V! t" Y+ h! v) |
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
9 W; F, m9 F. Q6 u> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-9 c9 }# b/ r3 i3 B5 Q
> > employees attend to the arrangements.8 [# w6 ]0 ?% K! [: a
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is# d; T/ K% k( O8 ^/ S/ L
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the! n1 x# z7 O p
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
. Y4 `& Z5 H' n) p7 B/ j> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one; h C5 `5 ~. w5 o% C5 }2 r- F
> > hour early.
8 D2 k; q' i* ^6 d5 }& q> >' l: C0 K2 V4 c
> > Toilet Use6 M& H& a9 y) N- F2 u; g
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the$ }4 x: }0 O5 s0 X
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit; |$ |8 X. h3 { `* U
> > in the cubicles.0 y$ l: U$ O0 ^/ h& {
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
- `5 p" c4 A7 B+ ?7 r) e& L> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle3 m" Z: ]# z" T9 O
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
' x2 {; s2 W8 s3 X+ ]. d> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be1 I/ y2 O; w$ h; g" l4 r
> > posted on the company notice board under the9 W. w# `1 w. @# T$ J! T& p2 v
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.0 H; I0 y8 C9 w# n
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be8 @$ O. m. _6 J& F; [6 N( [
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
* E+ a' P% N5 A( B0 Z> > policy.1 O6 P& K1 b* n1 g. X4 }2 V" d% t
> >$ |5 i9 b7 i2 t
> > Lunch Break; h, i& n' I1 `5 o# g! h
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
. L- D& C% l8 v8 ^" _> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
$ R$ K! O9 y. K* t> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to% W5 g7 M. }- ^9 C2 z
> > maintain their average figure.
! {/ E9 o: @# Y9 t> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
/ p" p7 r/ ~5 o. N8 `> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast., A) C/ I( ~- F, e1 ]
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
, k c4 x7 T8 P$ @, H( B" T> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive% `2 s+ u. _7 w% E. Y) ^
> > employment experience.+ j* J7 W# e. F. U+ M& X
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
' B7 ^8 |% x' @6 d) [# {> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,; ^. `9 h, s( e7 t
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be$ f/ _( O! G: c" I- i1 c* p6 H
> > directed elsewhere. |
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