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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
. _; x" `: ]+ ^6 q( ?> > Effective January 2007- j5 k! e4 ^% `) ], Y" V
> >
, Y2 a9 ?# x6 u9 [$ s0 O> > Dress Code
: ?9 B# o/ e0 `1 N4 H$ G> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
" a7 \# U" j8 d/ v& _. x> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing* S7 {: X" Y) ^, j+ _
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume \6 m. R9 O& Z* ^
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
. Q. b1 Z% d2 E> > need a pay raise.
4 z" q* D7 }. T' Z> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage1 H2 ]; E6 f/ d5 A. u
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer" s4 Q/ m0 n. y" f: c1 }# y
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3 q# d3 F& q5 |5 S> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you- h6 f" t! H- h
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay0 x! v8 a8 Q. P; y" T. P
> > raise., q# A# r8 @( U, H9 p1 d( E% q
> >1 |" m# m# J+ J/ v" J: y. R! [" g& B# b
> > Sick Days
; N+ F& S7 l6 Y0 k, ?" D> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
5 N- T& h" h* x- H$ j- Z1 a9 @+ m+ K: X> > proof of sickness.9 d5 }' t- R5 ^7 \! L8 n ?
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
/ H2 B( R# ~3 a# F7 z> > to come to work." Q+ N+ j4 M* l* T
> >/ ?% ?6 v- q2 w$ T6 F- m
> > Holiday Days
6 C' A7 Y& ?6 |> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a W7 ~: k2 O% s
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
2 x, g0 \ \3 l. n( P: U5 X5 m; J> >/ ]( Z1 W9 Y X! g; W6 K0 s
> > Compassionate Leave
) M/ M. T& ^' u7 k& O; o$ |6 l> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
* f5 n9 X9 O5 ]- S/ X! c( u6 P+ Z> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-) \% T, o4 _6 P+ }! N" h/ u. A3 Q
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-5 P" I6 s' t T3 }. Y, p% W
> > employees attend to the arrangements.* {8 E1 P; }7 H
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is: t3 N, i- A# I/ h, t
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the- ?8 f9 ?) G5 _. g5 g" _
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work* c5 z7 v$ O0 B0 X- ]7 q
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one, q) z9 N5 f! n% |- f) t: J
> > hour early.
! F7 W& F. }) d! \" @/ I> >
6 Z; T2 z. H5 V; V" Z- c> > Toilet Use7 b# |; Y7 P4 n
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
4 O+ t' J, k; O8 r> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit+ ]/ j6 ^; y& t8 E2 C
> > in the cubicles. e$ u6 v2 O* p
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
+ ^4 ?( e) V6 S7 D% ~> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle+ c6 a9 R, J: H6 i( n1 B
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken./ ]; g% r U+ S& J0 i7 \0 y
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
! C5 {2 W' P- e- {8 j* x/ R> > posted on the company notice board under the
( \ C" ]* R$ K7 n& ?2 Q9 |+ o/ p> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
7 ]8 K. A% @/ D' I2 ?7 h> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
% Y5 k' a. j5 z* q8 P8 i! O/ z% |> > sanctioned under the company's mental health( y! D6 N4 @; H# `4 H
> > policy.
6 [+ r2 v: h2 t: I4 @8 G> >
) N! L* s6 C$ b> > Lunch Break. J; L, ]8 m f+ F
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they8 K8 i; G6 A C' P3 B
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
( I% p [! E% y% j0 P, V> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to ?* v# H* N$ j) _% o2 S% ]
> > maintain their average figure." c1 m6 A; V6 E8 h
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
8 e# W! ?- z+ S0 u7 P6 M> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
3 d; m- ^6 s- L# x> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are) M6 x# T1 {. a% m. U
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
, L9 a- `$ u6 m+ m- |> > employment experience.) n! [: h6 E0 e4 l$ s- v c0 t+ W
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
, N' x1 ?4 u; F# U1 j> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,/ V* ` m$ |1 P8 O3 v
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
6 g+ ^/ |, s& W! z> > directed elsewhere. |
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