|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:$ a6 _! A2 z1 s0 W: c# f4 A
> > Effective January 2007! m+ S" W$ ]2 U& P/ [
> >
/ p$ J( U9 B6 [! d> > Dress Code
]: M/ t+ P! y+ _! K> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
6 d* Y. V# O) y> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
6 ]+ n# j% P- \2 J! Z% Q, g5 e/ w> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
3 P) @7 c/ e# n9 o+ ?> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not( ^6 g1 i% J5 |1 o) B, X9 t/ @- D
> > need a pay raise.( ] F: e* @# _7 |( b( K
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage- E- Y4 ~- C$ i( D# Z
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
: I3 d W! O. F2 s> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.9 \( B2 g9 m/ M& I4 W
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
4 _, f3 d, Y1 H( I+ R: h> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay. a( l! [. H& y, d# t
> > raise.- E3 X4 s. t4 G0 [+ h
> >
+ L4 B% X& B! {8 ^4 d> > Sick Days
7 b w2 c) b* ` {+ k9 |+ O% f> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as$ `) \( ?% u! e/ |$ j
> > proof of sickness.9 u& g8 @& U+ U2 f
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able3 F9 }$ K/ m4 d2 J, E
> > to come to work.
$ I$ L2 Q/ H" A& u> >4 e- i& I* C7 S# T- P+ v' A
> > Holiday Days
5 a! w: [3 w' U R4 B9 P2 _' d> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
- L% i) D) N7 ?8 B: U1 }8 y6 g> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. k) q% c D/ e( I( [- b1 x* m! G- M
> > q' |3 p# R" W5 v7 F1 ~" u
> > Compassionate Leave
: X% K. m0 A; S, M# }4 t> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing0 g' L. a- o0 P
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- i2 f* |4 l9 G3 T( T
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-6 H' i4 }4 D, K+ E3 h
> > employees attend to the arrangements.( [/ T$ Y1 ~, t6 \
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
* }; y& A+ ^7 ~) m: S> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
! |) l: U! _# G$ O2 @) T> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work2 `% C( N; D9 A" R7 u& X7 J
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
5 N7 F; q; O1 `8 i: T> > hour early.
/ I( N* t; z. Q: p2 X0 d1 p0 ^> >
# f, C9 i& Q# ^# N$ v% D> > Toilet Use
+ ^# {# \5 A E8 J> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
1 ~% B/ T2 e& q; b( A( f. Q> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit+ Y( j! V4 P) m5 d" k h/ Y
> > in the cubicles.) @0 r& L& H& a5 @. {
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will3 Q4 o/ g1 C: ]) g0 `
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle( O" P% I& T3 V& L8 m
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
1 @/ f& D$ j2 q; f> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
1 z8 Y. v+ q7 r% N& N% C> > posted on the company notice board under the
: }3 N+ T) i' m' R1 d> > "Chronic Offenders" category.4 t6 `( M5 d- o- E
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be1 `. D8 A7 Q3 r
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health1 ]; p$ \" I g3 I# o9 _9 L
> > policy.
2 j* J9 _! Y1 m( d/ W> >! y; ^1 g% q/ T, ?1 R$ z: O1 r
> > Lunch Break- O( c$ s# z5 I; k9 j: g
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
/ O0 q* J$ p/ ~, M( x+ t/ }; _> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
. M0 r$ T! t, ^> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to/ N& F4 y3 H9 Z7 j' C
> > maintain their average figure.7 U5 A8 ?% p' K9 W5 O
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
" N: h! x. T( W> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
6 [ A$ v* C' K* P3 Z> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
$ @0 H2 b2 p+ G$ M! B> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
+ M3 M) Z# h1 Q4 x7 K> > employment experience.
& H7 P% I' X1 t1 w8 m6 L7 D> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,' o1 _0 N2 @4 K+ o1 x6 r
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,/ }6 j5 H6 F( M& X+ U; k% h
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
* }. |4 s$ Y8 n: c) z. z3 t7 O> > directed elsewhere. |
|
