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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
0 A. J' P2 b/ x2 r) t# h> > Effective January 2007
( h. A5 k7 a* C/ j; ~% h> >
) T! Y/ I, x9 U1 c5 s6 ]> > Dress Code
) S. O0 u3 d# y' H+ g> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed' b: C/ P& M- h4 b/ J- v' V
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing# a& ?1 t; `: o$ b; r4 v$ d
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
/ n8 Y d# { _3 U5 y+ i* i& H> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not6 S# e1 m& o) O" k! r0 X4 O2 A
> > need a pay raise.; t( a5 s6 m Y- p+ d( `2 o
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
3 d |3 _+ X$ \, S5 x4 f> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer# P8 ~: i( P3 W0 Y% s7 K
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
( [+ g: G2 c9 ?# Z, O# ~& W> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
" Z8 R" C' u4 `6 K$ |/ r F5 E/ v> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
1 d# ^+ J! R$ c1 L, |> > raise.1 }; G% K& W8 i/ `7 ~, j
> >
/ d& h0 B0 {, \$ d! L> > Sick Days
9 W' ]2 j/ [3 m8 L; A$ h> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as/ i$ w: M. @0 c3 t3 U" u) W
> > proof of sickness.
# {! U9 O; `6 @3 Y> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able0 ^$ K! V# X: L9 F. ~
> > to come to work.% L* C. _' s9 G, \" y! N/ t
> >9 m* u( e) r f* F
> > Holiday Days' a$ X$ M# E& T6 _
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
: f, _+ [* {* v* `# Z1 q> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
% T/ w2 z8 H5 O" g+ ]* T+ k) `# w> >
3 |8 b& Y7 ~' \> > Compassionate Leave1 P6 u2 i+ `7 a1 T
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
8 ]" @9 Q! r2 v> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
+ H, a$ d* ^3 {9 S7 z- v+ X> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
. S# Q, b! w: w4 H# p0 E: c5 w) ^> > employees attend to the arrangements.
: U0 {9 L+ w. R2 O> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
1 q( g7 @# x% K& G' f+ y* ]> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the) D% W0 s3 {: Y: g8 N
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
+ N7 }5 Z; ] E> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
& v1 t) f# h/ g: J> > hour early.9 p/ k% ~5 Z5 d8 F8 c
> >1 j6 S6 U0 Y: Y. y+ P
> > Toilet Use
) u0 N! x$ v* p6 l# Z$ O; X> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
1 M5 h; k8 k- k& ~8 ~4 O$ p/ g> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit5 n" V. M2 o8 @/ m5 c8 E6 y
> > in the cubicles.
6 E' c# D& k- U> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will7 [* c! k" P- B5 L# t* ]
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle# a/ G o$ @( J! {) k1 _
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
8 P# {" b" O3 P. d- Q! a$ c> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be8 B* L+ N {9 N" C: Y: S4 p
> > posted on the company notice board under the
+ N2 F3 R- E; L9 G> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
% E" o) ~% b) M6 P# I& z> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be& v, G$ K" B9 x K2 o
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
1 f8 A* Z2 ?$ G9 W> > policy.. \) D& Q8 g1 r* S! Q7 t
> >& Q5 k7 R- N7 h0 m; W; I+ p' b4 H1 q1 w
> > Lunch Break
1 @/ N9 A% l& Z" B& B- C> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they& @* |. E+ a) m' W4 ]
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy./ l9 o, O9 U, `: m7 o6 l) d; `
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
) L" h& N- [7 ]/ g> > maintain their average figure.
3 \7 D# n: _: G' s: E# u: k> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time2 G! o! h6 |- f2 [4 j3 ]
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
r; H" j8 u; Z' M+ b/ j9 W> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
+ i* ?" R% m1 y" l; P> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive* y: X! m" U0 T; z% y
> > employment experience.
1 `' G/ K6 F) _) g) o> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,, w! b( G( w' }) D1 x' |
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,4 K# w% K' U6 o% c# N9 I' |
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be* z/ U' M2 r3 n1 ?2 a* }
> > directed elsewhere. |
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