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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
, m$ @6 W$ j$ r" n4 p4 W( N> > Effective January 2007' m4 K0 J+ R l, }
> >
. z6 n u3 W( U- W> > Dress Code
$ h, a1 a% h* L4 P$ D> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
% c& f( I4 `$ ?: g8 M& d; V> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
4 c! z1 {8 P, o: o3 P> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
7 U! e' V/ W/ T- L0 c. W% |# n> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
2 g, A; b$ F0 S! w> > need a pay raise.
/ T' j3 n+ I5 c9 w# C> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
# x- p2 h/ Z4 c' n, f/ ?0 C4 E> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
9 `# H) G: r4 N* \$ F K4 T: l> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.) [: J4 Q2 B5 ?
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
]: |! z, P, y2 o7 g7 T' ?> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
! p7 m4 V* z8 \' m0 p9 p% I. N1 ^1 M> > raise.1 O8 J) E% k+ \* n. G
> >
. }; E0 c3 H7 g( N2 ?> > Sick Days
) Q9 X3 K: {6 f7 B1 y0 {> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
1 B0 s. Q7 Q* ^2 y' H> > proof of sickness.! |' |% q( O, y" u8 }5 A
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able: A5 T2 ]5 ^( R: J/ o
> > to come to work.
9 ^: c: u( k% Z9 P2 A> >) l( R! w, V% W4 ]7 |- I
> > Holiday Days/ y; M/ O4 o o, h. W7 p
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a e; h% g- o, b
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.) v) O, W9 \+ N: q1 j
> >) A$ s0 X; Z4 G, f0 V( M- {$ [4 ]6 q
> > Compassionate Leave( B7 a. K3 c! }0 i
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
: S! J. c. A$ F, J, d> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
, }0 o0 P4 U5 M> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
, V( p2 d; W8 u" N; `> > employees attend to the arrangements.( o- x) n0 v4 Q' p4 ^' r
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is) x7 W% m9 X+ Y5 _
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the# M1 Z: M" i# R$ V
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
* L$ {2 h0 R$ E# r- G$ {6 j> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one3 ^, q% v- Z6 q$ C
> > hour early.: B( ]- z% u) T% S1 N
> >% \+ q; J! j L/ d; W( K7 Z
> > Toilet Use0 \; E" k# g, |/ z0 k6 [( h
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the/ \/ P5 @0 n, v6 l
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
9 t3 z8 Q- K" B8 K2 T> > in the cubicles.5 L' U9 L# \4 Y0 F2 y
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will: G+ M }! P6 F8 Z% r# M1 s
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle$ t5 w; N0 `( C! ]5 u
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.% B( K- a+ C% G- M9 t8 |
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
9 B8 I1 Q- K! ]& \> > posted on the company notice board under the- _5 E2 l+ A: Y+ H
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
0 d9 `+ |( ] c4 S; S& m> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be' w' N3 n# q& e6 u d# y0 J4 [
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
4 t% P; h" m4 l; ?2 ?8 n> > policy.
8 f& |8 { g6 c* f6 u( u> >
- I! T3 `. o! l1 g9 q. e a! N( `( |> > Lunch Break& H: ]8 ^ L1 E
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they* P' n3 y; a0 K; |2 _; n I; n/ i
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
" V' W @) [6 D" N> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
& k x8 @5 L6 W> > maintain their average figure.6 J \8 m6 y* r0 U" [) \3 T8 V
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
) g2 K# ~$ r1 `> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.! q, j7 D* V( |) |$ E* w
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
; \' _6 A* J ~$ b& x$ z> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive# z' }% t) D3 b$ i" }
> > employment experience.' v4 o0 C) b9 {/ Q) {
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
0 |( d. l2 Z' U4 i> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
8 t! a7 _% H+ O, K \$ a> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be% m8 D- m" ?/ I E
> > directed elsewhere. |
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