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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
5 \* Y4 o# E T" R! ~> > Effective January 2007
( ?' K8 Q$ S# I1 H6 P" q1 d. A> >) ^! H- Q5 M6 X& X% j3 q- j
> > Dress Code
2 a2 k% ^7 N+ D" @' f! V! X> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed9 _# V. q6 f) ~8 ~" ^5 T/ I, P
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
z) M5 a$ ~0 ?/ @. d9 Q> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
; L3 ?# U0 T8 i0 Z2 m) b" y# Y> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
7 ?' z4 x% }5 m! W8 J( w' A& F> > need a pay raise.; X5 O" w# z# w8 i/ ?* K
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage! _9 z; F) m: Y, R0 z5 u: h* O
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
( M/ \2 O5 R5 B j9 ?> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
# I I8 p: M# u6 B1 [- H9 h> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you: P! ^# v. M/ [: d; w1 b0 c6 o
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay( e/ e$ e3 A+ g; q3 [. }
> > raise.2 U3 G7 T+ Q7 V3 }0 W$ g
> >
3 j+ s; l' C# D8 V5 |> > Sick Days. g& {7 q* R) ~$ A7 u) u* q
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as8 r# U; F# a# K
> > proof of sickness.
! {* `1 e: l |$ U0 E> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able ^' l1 g/ \4 V; S
> > to come to work.
8 M: b* P U8 t% m v9 @1 _1 r) ^> >
9 o* y$ x3 h* J: @> > Holiday Days
$ Q U9 n$ a! I4 L- T' M& `0 B2 d> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
3 D# G& {, @ x- w> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.# K! u# }$ c4 ?8 Q( ~% {
> >
* p& Q/ s/ L7 u/ q! V" {> > Compassionate Leave6 y: |+ x8 Y: L1 W, z# D
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
% N( a$ q B+ Q% t% j$ b> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-3 M0 ?" h; ] y% o6 L
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-9 _' A7 v% c. ^) e! n
> > employees attend to the arrangements. _( h7 n/ }/ {* f! O
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
( K# [# l& W; u3 p> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
# e* o+ _" _; X> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
/ P4 g6 v& ?8 p1 v> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one9 Q* M+ w8 M2 ]6 i) z3 J
> > hour early.
% w! q" j1 _- K- i8 @> >
, l6 ~$ v6 f% @> > Toilet Use8 O8 [9 B D- O6 \4 F' \- k
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
6 N) |( D/ i# ~2 |! o* K/ [6 R3 r+ s6 G> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit: ~3 Y d0 L& I$ B9 n& ` L0 ~
> > in the cubicles.
8 q) ]. @3 z+ w# q8 k> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will8 H& p5 A$ d0 q+ I
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle4 x0 | v, K5 }+ O0 Q1 z/ Z! x/ l: m
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.6 Q/ ]2 o/ ]( ~) T! ?
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
" G) C3 h6 L) t. h8 V. O> > posted on the company notice board under the2 t/ A, E' w, B; g: Z
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
& r( W" p; U! S; O% F3 f& z- S> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
8 o% z$ z0 O. X* w" I! I> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
0 V6 @+ m+ p8 a% h- B* [7 F6 ~> > policy.
/ q$ z: z9 q- v+ l> >/ \- ?# a& C# S, |3 U% E
> > Lunch Break( a" j/ K6 U! Q: P
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they9 `8 T) V9 x/ P
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
% b( Q( K2 P9 b5 B/ C% X/ b> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
: t! d: d# s& y9 O9 O2 P( |7 \' Y1 Y2 ?> > maintain their average figure.9 y3 \: a2 H. d
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time) \8 L& @& x! B
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.3 z/ e0 r" e) M! s* X
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
6 i9 D, n0 D" |> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive/ J( d- c: e7 _9 R7 s8 l" f: d
> > employment experience.( J2 d$ i! ]5 \8 }8 {" e8 r
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
$ z$ F0 W8 ~) b, \* Q% H- b. C' ~> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
( y: q& F% V/ w+ S> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
0 @3 L( z) x" b1 {2 S> > directed elsewhere. |
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