|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:
- W2 g# ^6 f- g> > Effective January 2007
; h8 B$ \& z) F5 c% m> >) }# t+ H5 x4 w# m- s9 l
> > Dress Code1 g0 V: l d0 r2 n( K. Y
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
2 S" Y [1 z0 T+ x; C> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing8 M8 m& Y/ l# v
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume* ?1 {0 ?. r( M8 I2 H" K
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not2 O: |9 F! F6 O/ H
> > need a pay raise.; v$ t+ Q8 o; e7 e6 i3 s& x- Z. j
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage7 [2 s% S. o. A& A2 v" V) @
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
& }2 Z7 ~" o' r. D B> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.1 f' i+ d1 L" F) Y
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
! i7 Q- q. D9 ?( k- _0 ~> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
( ^# e. ]7 H, y$ {4 X% [> > raise.
' q5 P! w; t. P E0 f& r> >
* Z* A% U+ v( i: v> > Sick Days x7 g1 J* w. ^. p9 k. ]5 D
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
5 x' c+ Z3 s; Z) c/ Q. H \> > proof of sickness.
# T d9 G2 U8 h) M5 {! s> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
' L9 j: k- B2 m) T> > to come to work.
) g S& Z! z7 s) f> >
7 ?9 J5 Z% z4 d# n" B> > Holiday Days
( f0 d1 l* k5 m' f> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a( E& J3 t% ]$ j7 ^2 `
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
/ {$ V0 f8 `: m, S> >9 u/ T& M2 F- f" M2 O, d
> > Compassionate Leave! H' g p9 w6 Z/ e$ ~8 K
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing" ~) T. V/ I; [3 V
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
# J8 |( H2 a% Y; l* g) s2 ~% M" X. _> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
# ] ^1 n7 h/ K. v, I> > employees attend to the arrangements.- O2 O) ?' s( \ U
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
, V" M% V1 J7 N+ A4 e6 O> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
2 V6 x, T* x6 Z& w/ K> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work% t% ?: Z1 L! Z% ?! @! X2 B
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
6 ?+ i8 L* T4 G* K4 L6 ?> > hour early.
N5 |3 U; C, k9 K> >3 g, c$ o- {- M
> > Toilet Use
5 O) S& ]& M& O: Q( d> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the" g1 Q# n6 u. q- g# d7 ^2 ]
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
" w, v) Q2 T0 h) A> > in the cubicles.
, y; ~8 d4 U! H7 M( @0 F& J/ K2 z! G> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will4 A7 U3 T4 `5 I7 A1 I& q# ]
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
) ?5 \, x& p% k& `6 _+ {0 K0 O> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
' _. ?" d9 d1 m9 }% b3 u9 c! Q) j> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be4 J: Z) Y4 O% g H( O3 m
> > posted on the company notice board under the
: p% n+ A1 o' \2 N> > "Chronic Offenders" category.7 @$ S; {* D0 {: X
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be$ i& o* b: O& C; `+ f
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
0 J; o$ e# p0 a- v1 r> > policy.
) a8 U* V8 g, l' {" u2 @4 A ^* J> >
) r8 d' J+ r3 E$ u5 L' s" x$ u> > Lunch Break
! ?+ g& x4 U( m' c4 b7 a% g* |> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
9 x6 A4 [9 V. G$ i8 X! u4 \2 [> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.; w4 g( r3 M; M$ R8 B
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
- |, o- `7 W1 A/ r- ^> > maintain their average figure.
7 R w9 o/ o% ?1 l( o> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time4 @8 J. j$ q. w, j( q. Q# J
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
( x1 L! s3 d5 g8 f [( i6 Q> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are* k; Q, w+ U& k0 @( V
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
7 k9 s w8 y7 q0 |+ |. a: e7 P> > employment experience.6 Q4 q( W {! ~; ?+ Z' m1 C4 C5 {
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints," Y$ m4 W% I( ]9 x9 B
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, P$ J& i/ H! A4 y6 G
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be3 U S* Z4 U; k8 ?* s9 @
> > directed elsewhere. |
|
