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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
6 e4 d" U. W9 w7 M& r% _& g/ i> > Effective January 2007
# B- }& k% u9 I> >: k) `8 @, L5 A2 m) @( D* E% R
> > Dress Code
5 ~4 ]1 a5 B% o9 @6 Q> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
, K" \' D9 c; R3 o/ C( H4 l> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
# O5 e0 h+ B3 P7 Z! a> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
. ^4 W; s8 T r' j$ z" d: g* _> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not' z2 L$ J2 G- G9 B$ G1 j8 x
> > need a pay raise.
, ^3 S, C9 F( A0 z! F- K> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage& L H8 D# E" ?$ e! }
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer' D8 V; \/ s7 C* K: N- k! E4 _
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
1 e( f. n; d1 P; S* A0 {* L7 f8 D> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you' J. x1 ~2 ]5 I; b
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
+ N0 H+ Z' B6 Z2 S- D> > raise.
; T) G) J/ c! u/ S' N2 f+ P> >
# J$ U3 l$ a% }: r4 U' S$ J- K, _; U! _> > Sick Days
+ H/ P8 Q9 s* M- ^> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as" m/ e3 r; J: j% f* X
> > proof of sickness.% R" q' g, h, Y& v/ O
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
" h7 a4 L3 F$ i> > to come to work.& v) t' h2 I. k8 g. A
> >( P1 t! l8 V9 n d# {% q5 a1 P
> > Holiday Days
8 P8 V! D* W4 _% z' z> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a2 Y1 r( b1 a. v1 @# k! K5 C
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
; |- _. ~. j# }# \: z0 t> >2 \( @* T' y# G0 u! |
> > Compassionate Leave7 B/ |9 s+ T" _4 z4 C: {$ w2 E
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
& Q; G+ z/ @3 x) x# b> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
& J3 u9 N5 ]. C% j5 l8 n0 M> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-; G3 I0 {5 p% V; S* ^2 i4 l, N
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
" F) ^$ N; g* Y/ h" F9 t! _> > In rare cases where employee involvement is! ]8 i" m) w6 h" M! Y
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the4 i" [; P* d5 a
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work( l# g) J% _0 _
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
+ |7 r. G3 f4 x$ a- ?# W2 A( [> > hour early. w" k% P2 w9 V" G% P% S! S
> >; P+ @6 b! @( l6 J
> > Toilet Use1 d I5 R6 W1 U+ K) Z" g
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the% @! D6 I0 E: p/ M
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
# z* s2 |, ^- }3 q0 A/ F' [1 U' e> > in the cubicles.6 T6 c; e( O" l/ f7 m
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
0 b# h! n' I: V, k8 B> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
3 l1 K; v& t" O# ~) c3 c- R> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
/ v9 I( n% Z- S$ h" W> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
2 f$ q3 s& D1 Z/ p3 ^> > posted on the company notice board under the
/ b& @3 g. V" M' r4 f/ ^> > "Chronic Offenders" category.6 T, K2 |1 w8 p6 S
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be) I# x: O x" n: v
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
$ o$ X: ~6 r+ J; ?0 r1 ~$ U; t* r* e> > policy.% B1 e, W! j+ K" ^* n5 D0 g' \$ a `
> >1 f1 ?; K, i6 ^1 I1 ]4 O( ]+ F
> > Lunch Break6 B; A# z7 Z( O1 j( E+ S
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
) \4 q2 p9 e/ G% Q8 p& D> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
6 ?( Q" i3 j5 R! e* s2 {4 A> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to! P$ w9 I+ U$ {- l8 E3 a
> > maintain their average figure.3 A2 N- H3 ^- w0 L* @
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
/ L" I" k/ n, l0 t3 ]2 p> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
1 {5 r$ j) T! f4 d H3 }# K> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are. Z& a# ?& E3 U+ s
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive' C+ y/ \) i) q h, o, u% A! b
> > employment experience.
4 W3 ]+ \0 ?, B4 p/ h> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,# ~. V' N& ~, J6 c& c
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
- c7 U' A; L0 u% G M9 N' B4 U> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be5 a# d8 |- {9 r! ?
> > directed elsewhere. |
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