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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:5 [6 m4 ?4 w/ G
> > Effective January 2007
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> > Dress Code
# R1 |1 d7 H1 J> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
$ n2 t. c) s! J1 Y" G8 w> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing5 \. i! Z/ V! t5 c" ]; }6 w6 {
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume4 M( M# d( ?2 R# k4 p
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
' b2 s6 t8 _! i- |> > need a pay raise.
& x: X4 `4 s+ n% t! l; C> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage0 Q* }$ N* u: N1 n$ T# N- A
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer0 S; Y$ P: c& Z' a$ U5 N! @
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
. `3 X" U1 ]2 I, g8 J( D> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
- N4 i9 }0 F$ `# ~/ j6 e i6 M% E> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay$ `% m9 s1 I6 q
> > raise." w9 y8 D S" u; [ q3 w/ i/ i) }
> >* G+ i/ c% @1 A
> > Sick Days
7 `! a; Q& x* C. D! Q1 r4 F> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as F2 h- y; ?3 X9 c# c& a
> > proof of sickness.
' q9 l9 M4 |4 t2 a, `2 F; W& B> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able6 D' ~3 z. k9 P
> > to come to work.& J8 Q9 x4 k' g
> ># `- t I# m, s+ t
> > Holiday Days
: u: i4 j H i' z4 ]> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a5 J3 I+ R! k) A3 K% p
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
/ V* ~( S+ r; b- t/ \! l> >
8 T& I' c7 h* a F* C6 K> > Compassionate Leave! z& j; r( d1 _2 D8 F- \) H
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing' V; n, v2 g5 m) [
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
C! [, p. B B7 `0 i5 V> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
5 ?; q$ w4 f) A/ X& {" h1 {> > employees attend to the arrangements.! g, o) n5 L# ^
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is: a9 G. x9 b0 E' Z* C' T
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
3 w& U5 B" a8 D1 b> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
( l) D- W5 b% Z4 w/ @1 J6 n' Z> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
0 c4 g/ j" ]9 `9 }5 y9 B> > hour early.
6 {. i! W) |2 Q& m> >) T' b; A4 S# a% r4 J- V1 q
> > Toilet Use
n/ F& W1 ^! ?8 @1 `# t y> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the2 p/ m. u, C! x9 N/ y2 V1 w# T4 M
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
' V- O5 G( o+ k3 `/ Y$ o0 o4 T> > in the cubicles.# [: Y' I% A" n; J& A+ N8 C1 P
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will2 ~/ h0 A T, c. E
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle$ G# b$ Q! g1 e+ x) p- C
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
# T4 _6 H2 z: \$ U3 P> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
6 W, F2 v3 y G# y> > posted on the company notice board under the
* o) A/ L J& x7 t# B3 U8 g> > "Chronic Offenders" category.' u$ g* t; f: E- C- `
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be) \7 P3 F* Q: ]" s7 l" f8 D
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health' f: L- k0 V7 l" P8 n
> > policy.+ V- ?& D' E8 ~0 H, x1 K4 E
> ># j+ L( b/ B: o4 X7 L
> > Lunch Break$ F% C# D6 M( H' V2 W
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
& F! p6 D0 k, O> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.! b- j1 C( I8 Y" s& s
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to: i' w' J6 S4 y+ d. L6 e0 r
> > maintain their average figure.. T, S% ]) ?7 t, J& j
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time6 ^% W* }$ x+ U I6 c" s+ L0 V
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
0 k+ P! {1 O, h> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are/ _6 r' x* r+ S# }- }6 c
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
) k' C: ^1 `( u; ~> > employment experience.7 {8 d5 L4 y$ N* ^
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,* @+ }; W. E8 w6 g @8 ?
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,8 `/ @2 \* E# ?0 x z
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
1 G5 T( D) L {7 v/ S> > directed elsewhere. |
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