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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
; B9 r- T) A) X/ |1 | m> > Effective January 20078 @) R3 F1 c+ b& a5 p
> >( |& q+ d6 e& e! Q: _. w9 S. D: l L
> > Dress Code6 J0 F& Z1 p7 H% C8 |4 X
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
+ C6 i9 u, V5 }6 p9 B* Z* ]0 i$ K> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
5 ]4 r& B% w' p# }> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume' M) t& P) x3 I" C" y5 K
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not+ D/ q9 o- d" A
> > need a pay raise.) ^0 `) G" p2 ^( v
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
7 h! P1 U7 Z/ n9 n+ A% B& M- ^; z> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer) }+ x; I4 f4 P- K% ]& ^1 ]
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
' _$ W1 P# X/ d! v% t, c> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you. b, k4 o- o* H$ b3 s% k5 W
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay, O+ o) M" Z( ?; W/ Y& i
> > raise./ @$ J: G4 ^' h" k& D
> >
. ^+ b4 M. H1 U> > Sick Days
; N) N/ C X4 I, a7 e9 d> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
/ @3 w% |4 S3 N8 Q> > proof of sickness.
$ p: Z7 u9 e( J; M4 u> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
0 T" j- N0 W" G( s( N# }1 u> > to come to work.- C `+ C/ k" c- r2 m# `
> >/ x% O2 ]+ A z* z- Z& v
> > Holiday Days6 |6 _4 @1 c2 c0 g
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a( e* y2 r+ A2 H
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
6 U! K" ]6 Z8 \& |! c, J> >
4 M8 @8 R8 P) m/ c/ h/ ^+ C> > Compassionate Leave' R: ?! D0 c8 ?% ~/ u0 `6 H
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
& A! b6 Y5 c8 g+ Q9 [4 V" p> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
- X: e Z. i) F1 r+ d/ i; G9 f4 k> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-5 l) H- b4 T; y. c4 m
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
U! M; ~' _- @! Y4 H0 n> > In rare cases where employee involvement is% [8 m8 q ]5 J& [5 A0 M
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
6 K E8 x; n7 U1 J% }# ?- P> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
) J% B6 |0 k1 O+ X4 C0 w> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one( r; V* B+ C: _* ~& j
> > hour early.% M0 i; O* @/ N( E+ t
> >6 k2 A( x# H/ S- N; B2 ]9 a
> > Toilet Use2 o! e1 [2 _. d d/ P: ?8 E
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the* W! A* A# P; f$ S! Q2 y; ]3 O
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit) ~, | H' N( T4 v
> > in the cubicles.. f6 |7 g: @& s5 ^: T- W% ^
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will9 I! E0 {" B/ ~
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
# f% r; H! p; w. E; k# k& P. d a> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
) j! j! c# p2 [. M> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be: m# z2 U& y6 i" ~8 V
> > posted on the company notice board under the' Y( k2 f9 j Z) w2 G4 M& F8 b
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.5 _: O4 @* ?8 w! y4 Q Z8 l
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be7 [& h: Y, F+ U2 q: ?. o
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health, J5 v* H/ ~+ T6 Y. p* c2 ~
> > policy./ s; @6 P) f0 p6 @+ B
> >- N2 V! i2 A! B$ s
> > Lunch Break
: O) C: C0 U" G( w4 a" k* g> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
9 ?! u9 |0 h# A! F. s$ ?4 D/ f1 L> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
$ M5 {5 X+ G4 H1 B! o8 F' O( `: Q6 Y> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to' m" J( U3 b9 k2 h5 l
> > maintain their average figure." j! c4 B* ?+ a+ ]0 k" k
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time1 i- X% R2 o# U$ d$ c1 x0 W
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.2 D+ S9 [2 O! b$ L
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
4 H/ w9 \6 @/ n0 h; _> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive* |. a9 q9 E* [* X. `2 M- l& B
> > employment experience.+ L1 Z H5 \ _! f: C- Z
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,5 e) q6 |; i; e2 S8 e) Z$ \) j$ a
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
( H4 C8 M4 R" c> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
# S" Y: O+ z7 {* f# D> > directed elsewhere. |
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