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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
( k: w9 f% y: n) s- ]; a- H> > Effective January 20075 v7 ?* R: r0 W7 R' I9 c( i, m4 _
> >
0 n6 a) i6 J. H> > Dress Code
- @. l' |5 u+ G6 a* s' g" L" X> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
0 k" u+ m! _6 ]& i> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
# P( j, ]7 i" p2 k> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume$ d5 y, E, v6 z0 l8 r
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not. ?# r8 S9 |& y: @
> > need a pay raise.
2 n) q% q3 J/ T( ~9 p> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage2 L. w" y( R, [4 |& `1 r, i, t
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
6 e: ^! h+ N7 V. m1 P3 o> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.8 ~9 l( A' S8 V* M
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
, m6 c6 W; b$ v) [3 h# X> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
8 H3 s, ^; n% \5 ~- W/ r& w! O! h> > raise.9 z0 |/ n- E( k; o2 ]- h- W: x7 E
> >
# f% `7 e, F' @% m> > Sick Days
6 l' Q! A; \$ L1 z3 b1 z4 b: Q> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
( l' u! w9 J& Q0 c5 C8 t: X5 _% B> > proof of sickness.# [+ c1 f+ S& [$ A
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
9 Q* N: ~ ~, b' r> > to come to work.
% |5 d _$ R9 s2 [- b$ R( b0 \) a> >
) o$ Q3 ?( |6 P# Y- ~9 f8 e> > Holiday Days
* C4 k7 A9 {9 E* u% m> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a4 r% Z- P* Y/ n0 G/ ^
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
( O: v8 q2 z+ L' y* [* [5 X> >& T. Z% g3 | [$ n C5 l
> > Compassionate Leave
2 V, \1 R, `7 ~/ a* ]$ I> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing# [+ W" x3 Q; J6 G. r: Q* I
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
- S$ g, c7 A& H- b2 [! O' S) ^) n; b> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-1 a" y4 E" u" S
> > employees attend to the arrangements.7 `* L: Y$ V4 m, `7 ~3 g$ p" x
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is$ ~+ h+ H2 f# c$ ^& d. z6 |) f
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the4 b+ k# \+ \2 [" b5 G# w+ |# N( i' Y
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
8 j' @* w4 w& b4 u; v. U; ~$ X> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
5 G/ k# i# {; M/ B& ~- f9 z) V( Y> > hour early. o8 Y3 ~0 B( F" Z9 `
> >. l2 ? L/ n0 k! s4 L( h$ X! U
> > Toilet Use
( J. D% n6 `# \9 B# X> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
1 ?% f0 m9 D6 I. [: }% L# b> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
9 M8 R! c8 x# G( O' ^0 }> > in the cubicles.; v C: X" A% |
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will) \5 k. Z, A7 E( `+ A
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
' p' P8 l, G" |; N" V. n7 A> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.: f# k$ u/ \( ?0 ]: w
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
1 x& U& p) A7 S/ m- C7 R: r, j0 |> > posted on the company notice board under the
& S: W" U* h7 p- W* ^> > "Chronic Offenders" category.: N; f, d: n0 C; S% Y+ h0 ]
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be3 p5 }0 s" f$ a" l% T
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
& X% ? T- I4 B0 u2 D; y> > policy.
$ Q' h0 {6 `' @3 V2 Y) c, N. j! j> >8 X+ I; j0 L- t
> > Lunch Break
6 x3 L5 b3 ^) l$ l> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they. ~8 }* ~ J( V, z8 j* s
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
# S8 y1 w e7 z. j: a8 ~> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
4 V3 q: i o! i0 f/ ^. H> > maintain their average figure.; p5 d! p( u* V7 o
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time6 J# X9 @/ d5 A( j# h0 R
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
, d/ H$ u' \- C5 j) O1 `8 L. S> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
, @ h ? V% R$ A" w> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive8 O& L/ \ c2 |2 K' ^8 F2 `! W% |
> > employment experience." ~! F+ t. d, M; n& Y
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
5 f/ z( a: M6 S> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,- O2 K+ S% ~% u! C) G& b2 P
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
+ V7 I9 t" |! Y5 j3 m2 P w> > directed elsewhere. |
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