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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
+ [! D& T; K& e% {$ q( X3 ~> > Effective January 2007
$ s" f$ a9 V% E" _& J, }, {> >
4 Y6 j1 J6 {, g> > Dress Code
! p( l7 G% H: I> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed2 L/ E0 y7 f. l& |. _
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing5 _4 v0 I/ T6 d2 m
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume* y+ H5 j" e6 r) H6 a
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
/ _! r2 h3 d6 y$ F) r, C5 w8 @ n> > need a pay raise.
$ v: D) _& Y0 h" p: O, |( h4 T" j> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage, C' S6 j+ c0 [- e
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer) z& R7 Q( o7 J# }
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
, ^7 f1 T' ?9 z) i, I# e8 O> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
* b5 V, y7 x3 X7 I6 \0 D0 M> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay) r% |# f$ T% V" [
> > raise.
1 P2 i6 a! L2 l$ Z! j> >) L. \ h7 C X$ _
> > Sick Days1 A4 b% [5 x/ W- o7 _, E8 N
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as+ x- Z: c& J* j/ J4 v
> > proof of sickness.
$ C1 O4 W& R5 {( {5 L> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
7 |; `& U9 h9 M/ T> > to come to work.7 v5 G6 J# I1 g, {$ q
> >6 Z+ I: Z: [7 o0 o
> > Holiday Days
9 _/ V- x$ ^( r+ I> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
0 u2 b# Q9 x/ h7 v> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
% Y* r' k/ e0 Z7 r. ]) Q( I> >
8 n5 H! C. u; C4 i> > Compassionate Leave
7 _& x6 [' T: Y' K> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing7 p( K+ P% V% F4 [& J1 i
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-9 c- M7 S" \$ M" R4 @
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
7 g& l8 [4 u% M' P+ E> > employees attend to the arrangements.5 \; ?. K2 _7 j7 D
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
& F# v& n; v7 b$ r Y" m7 h> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the* x2 g! H6 o+ @: ]! C
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work2 c# d. I8 a( R; D' p4 {2 N
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one9 U! u7 y& H0 u8 Q9 X' M
> > hour early.# ~7 [% c3 j5 H5 K; A1 T# v
> >
* q3 f; H; y4 Z$ O# b, p> > Toilet Use
0 B3 J! ?" A& o> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the5 x* m& X* f, `) l9 a
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit* p) T1 J* Y& C) w
> > in the cubicles.
$ L4 r. o7 _- z% n* L> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
8 W; b' j# I. Q! {3 _" `! f) @$ [* {> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
2 W2 t7 K3 i/ w; l5 K1 J> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
: A% ?2 x6 g! r" x> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
) d6 \6 h' H$ f> > posted on the company notice board under the
# M/ d; ^' N( n9 i- P3 h6 e2 G" M> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
7 c. d, d0 X% L% @9 `$ i> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be! u& j3 B) i; i
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
5 M( U; T/ `! A2 K( K, @> > policy. ?7 t1 h. p0 p# z: f n* x. H
> >4 t, Z! A! |8 |' [
> > Lunch Break5 D" O' R; ]; ]9 q7 O+ M$ M
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
' D& w! G/ e) i" ]) r' `, g- x' Z+ G' g> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
# E% N, G1 B$ F# g> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to% q2 C# s3 ]9 C# x, _5 g2 i
> > maintain their average figure.
7 |) W- x- }& b0 E: s) }6 k1 v> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time, |& ~" i3 g2 M
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
2 |' A& r+ C$ B% Z$ R- ~6 F> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are% X& V1 E: r$ S$ D2 f
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
' |7 q5 y- }" B% [1 m, I# c> > employment experience., A; p; q6 S, w- Y( Z. g
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
( j ~; a1 }$ e V Y> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,$ X6 ^8 }2 v; L$ [6 g
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
# T( D( H& S6 A- y> > directed elsewhere. |
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