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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
# l% K* M6 j0 s& q% N" |7 L* x, b1 T> > Effective January 20079 s0 d+ f7 s* p& \ U( j! W9 u
> >
* A3 I2 {" X% ]9 d6 e% N> > Dress Code6 {+ c7 q4 s H4 E9 O
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
$ s, z6 O9 a, h4 w% O! B9 U$ B3 i> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
5 m2 `# h$ Z% O ^7 g% C+ M# z> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume+ @* y0 L" j8 O9 X: l
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
+ W+ e. N* L0 }> > need a pay raise.
. i, N' m5 j: A! ]& j. X, X* L8 B1 Y> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
" e: L# b1 I4 G' v2 h> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
/ a: d0 }; R2 w5 a! O6 e> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.0 a7 Y* A* d0 Q9 ? Q, @
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
8 z) Z5 X E) Z! k# d$ f> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
5 x& E" h' b' u. c) i# v> > raise.7 a" W2 m; E# Z4 {! R
> >
+ a X/ m# Q; |3 b: r7 J% X8 f, w1 C. k> > Sick Days5 \/ d+ {% y/ Y/ G
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
+ E7 g% ^6 V; j/ F4 ~' S: v> > proof of sickness.
- M- t! h0 O$ j; i2 q+ K: f> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
5 z. O1 k$ ]5 o0 c> > to come to work.
$ w( M* Y; V3 O* L> >
6 {# C- U: b" F2 u9 R! [+ D> > Holiday Days( B8 P: x* @( u& ~4 \
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a2 j y$ Z* _9 h( e! e% i
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.* _: P' j. M5 F N
> >
: W8 e/ A# ~) { @" s1 V> > Compassionate Leave
3 |9 u% |" h1 ~" t9 U> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing7 @) m' w, m+ K9 [. s+ v2 B
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
, f; X/ h9 M9 L5 R2 M> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
# |: o; z* X/ q# R> > employees attend to the arrangements.; i2 t( N T* R/ T
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
% Y9 O+ y/ G+ l& g2 H> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
/ i$ i) R8 g& i$ g0 d- l+ h> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
% X1 x, ^2 m) ^- ~+ ^* k> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
% z+ O% _5 f% r/ T6 o# t1 E3 w6 H2 v> > hour early.
0 L* b9 W" E8 D7 r2 V: l( n0 k> >; U6 J& @, p" |2 P/ n0 f9 T
> > Toilet Use+ o3 [4 _; o8 n" ]$ g
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
6 |3 Y( Y9 C; p: [, ]; Z> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit. u$ J9 T9 s' s
> > in the cubicles." g \: N1 k* N: b
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
. N: \; C* _: v" q4 f, e> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle ^5 D$ b. o4 T- h9 }# r
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken." |/ d- Z: V# |9 g$ ~
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
- u9 p. ^! ~' w; a> > posted on the company notice board under the ^; m5 \3 T0 F8 q' g$ j9 W
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
z/ I/ K* J" W+ `. ]> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be9 o. @" C9 J) S q1 O3 U" n- Q, ]
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health/ f3 S* h! {' }) l$ [) o
> > policy.
$ [! {' I! v: `8 V0 T7 ~+ C3 s> >
, b( J9 R1 N, M7 Q. e& ?# a> > Lunch Break
: g) {% [3 s" Y- {0 G$ [> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they/ [/ x' z+ h" S& ^
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.3 z( w, R/ X) a) ^1 R
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
2 j/ `/ @; _! p+ B+ J5 G+ O> > maintain their average figure.
) B6 Q$ [3 x) ~, _> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
) c1 M) Z: L" x6 I> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
! Q& f+ G6 _ l> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are$ G1 F" b( f; b
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
+ ]& z% ` y( T> > employment experience.# Y: a: s2 W8 G& \5 d& W q0 z
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,; l. T9 \, X, T' W) g
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,4 d4 Q6 I+ n9 u" R6 y
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
: `5 N4 e) G5 i* c! @> > directed elsewhere. |
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