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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:2 @7 a0 a5 X$ m0 X, Z" m8 I2 m7 C
> > Effective January 2007$ j/ s* |6 B7 f! {$ L* E# I* S
> ># @ e$ j( H% o7 A" V' k
> > Dress Code
1 [9 [( t5 }; P0 a" U> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
' L4 J( F7 F7 E6 {+ \% Y> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
. M9 n- M: x4 u$ B/ F! j! c> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume% { v5 H: ^) \! _3 Y
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
( O, g# ]8 F5 W& ]> > need a pay raise.
. u& a' V' n! N) u' Y> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
0 n+ Z- N( \+ H> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer' Q( r/ c. }$ y# w
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.. L) J0 t+ r- @/ Z' y8 A
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you6 M @( g& A2 i. f+ X
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
# N9 q' }# K" y3 s> > raise.9 V- Y# }3 K# I; T5 c+ [* ?4 T8 w3 A% n: s
> >
* Y, Y G% i. c/ w% R% }> > Sick Days
$ F. q/ M8 ]" y- @. \$ K> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
* n: D0 A- a6 _ b7 V> > proof of sickness.
3 k0 o- ?4 d) d( l# `> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
, m& M* e6 W; O> > to come to work.
- c/ |3 w4 [' P, z5 [> >* t5 X% N5 O9 r- K9 W) b( H4 \ D
> > Holiday Days. K' e* }3 I' q5 d3 N0 a
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
5 A. y& d9 u# }) N( V' f> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
, v4 r* S0 j% Z6 C> >' p B6 [; w& y, n
> > Compassionate Leave$ E1 M u+ R+ V; k8 k1 l: D8 m7 u4 m
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing& }& z/ E% S' Q$ u
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-7 Q7 C! s, w, ]
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
/ {% X- V2 G8 x# Q- c( z/ ?> > employees attend to the arrangements.
3 L) d* h- T$ c/ x> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
/ o9 w3 ]# G0 D3 s; W. k1 ]4 R$ ~> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the4 c/ U7 z4 J3 L; U, l
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
# N' S' I6 O+ g7 Z& h/ F> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
# I0 e% j' h2 r7 o> > hour early.) G* m$ G: `% g" }
> >
+ Z$ d* c- Y+ e2 i> > Toilet Use2 G: [. M/ J/ H4 e. o) B% n7 L
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
+ M1 b: a' X" B8 X> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit- ~* B8 S B0 Y
> > in the cubicles.
# V8 o" k1 }/ K( U, a& A> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
! J% I$ n) E% l' k7 I2 @> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle3 V' E; I, T- i7 x
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.; U" M; i# m0 |" F5 B0 \& X
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
* J- `' L$ z1 @$ r3 ^. f) k m> > posted on the company notice board under the- \: h9 y% m& S; y* g
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
+ `, N8 o1 u$ V* g# L4 ]0 G> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be) y0 A B9 k! M5 ^ y
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health( i( K3 D$ A% d6 i; a3 d
> > policy.
$ g- h$ \3 E4 @6 j% Q> >4 y# o0 d$ B. O* s
> > Lunch Break
5 A! ~% X* Y- R: U- Z' z> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
" p, S1 C+ I- O8 W6 d> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
, K# u P! h j0 u: D7 b> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to/ g5 }" J: e' y9 A* ?; L& G* f! \
> > maintain their average figure.* ]0 v1 v K0 `1 ~& z' J' @2 D2 ?
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time: ?9 {" q0 J0 B4 |2 F; V, I$ Q7 Q
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
# m) Z# a' \; _ J: x> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
/ G; b! q# y6 \; z5 g1 w, c3 k) @> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
& N' n* o5 N7 x5 e Z9 S5 _> > employment experience.
/ s( I# a3 ]3 `; ~1 p1 ~& f> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
* ?4 ^3 G2 t8 U& m> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
$ q8 f" Y0 O) L, ^' L> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be' Y. T |9 ^" g% w4 y, F9 U
> > directed elsewhere. |
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