|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:1 z) B1 J E6 b! M5 P: _
> > Effective January 2007
$ D/ ^3 u* w6 u) A! P$ d' F> >- |- l2 G% y' @& V- o
> > Dress Code
2 K* S( [ b& ?: O9 ~# k> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed- X0 Y. z% T: d7 |" H
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing" Q) ?/ g6 F2 k) t0 V9 u
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
+ Z9 ?/ p, z: J, a> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not8 e1 L0 V5 a& t1 ]
> > need a pay raise.6 A9 f! V* K1 S; ], u
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage; E8 x9 q3 F0 f+ `( `2 `8 q7 B5 r& H1 c
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer: k9 W+ x% `% Q- I! U
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
, R: b$ B# ?/ ?> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you- m" q$ h5 v% r; D; y1 j
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
: Q4 J' K* M: y4 F> > raise.
5 M8 `0 K" R$ k0 h$ x> >! h& \0 ~* a+ h2 w5 O- z9 M
> > Sick Days
4 i1 H l7 S% I0 I i& B& y> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as+ f4 ?, X* ^; {+ d2 e# r8 M
> > proof of sickness.( M' k; c! v$ k( R
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
% c6 n* e" H) c& C! i8 I* h> > to come to work.
4 x& F5 \3 v" k> >" d7 L/ ?' _$ c% R2 e
> > Holiday Days) u, {. D5 G3 ^, J
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
+ X6 i( h+ P; P# T/ U% h+ } e> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
* g" x' {+ ]3 T* w' |1 v7 a! V _> >/ m/ o6 M. A6 x2 e1 B/ y6 D9 T0 a
> > Compassionate Leave
* f0 |% [! L. K' L2 A> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing& F; E# \; y( Y# T* ?: L6 Z' \
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-" d6 W. s0 |% ]- u8 P
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
3 ]$ h) f& [9 F0 U( y> > employees attend to the arrangements.
: L! l1 m5 ~5 p1 |> > In rare cases where employee involvement is0 Y% E, V5 i5 v- M; ]
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the6 {4 Z5 t! Z/ K2 b+ R! l' w$ k1 p/ R
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work6 w4 Q1 C2 r: _$ U1 p
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
% z* i. Z, B3 z8 Q> > hour early.
m {4 F) B; k2 k> >0 z8 T9 k5 v) _$ G4 L4 c4 ~
> > Toilet Use
. t* Y {( A, ]: H- @6 F$ `% L. E> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
8 e; @4 U/ h! @ ~! x> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit+ G, w6 H" T! U" |# ]5 n# L! y
> > in the cubicles.3 a, n; Q/ g! Q( R; _7 o' i( s L
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will5 h5 g8 o; a& b, }
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
# A# }# F& ~7 U- |! A6 g> > door will open, and your picture will be taken., d/ k# h8 @& L) y- c, P8 e! J
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
6 w9 v# P8 [& p> > posted on the company notice board under the" \5 p7 u& [$ `2 M8 c& ^" ?/ s, K
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
) ~2 o0 i3 Y5 H7 e0 U) o c> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
6 ?' O. [2 x0 b9 ~! n9 v/ [> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
& x) n3 X, o, v' h> > policy.
+ ^ Z3 n3 b! d! |> >
6 [% C5 E- c* H1 O* x> > Lunch Break$ ]- k7 m h5 q: c5 q
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they; Z) G# X0 A& u6 R; X4 H" }1 r
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.& k5 z3 P# x2 w) v4 C! `
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
% A4 h/ M. w7 [7 I% o3 Y> > maintain their average figure.
, E8 O/ J3 y6 l. a) t; s6 @> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time# w9 Z Z5 d! T& T2 g
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.0 O, u! C1 ~* g4 N
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are! n" F/ k. ^9 ]; z
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
: { s" t: B$ O# Y& q> > employment experience.
) N( T1 M+ c1 {3 Z0 E> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
/ G3 i0 j* [0 a' I0 T> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
( Z% B! f( m G, N! {' a> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
4 U7 K# a1 x5 B O% C( h: \$ `> > directed elsewhere. |
|
