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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:/ x" u; E% P8 }* F Q1 I5 {6 i# q! e
> > Effective January 2007' w% ?# r/ \( c i0 o( m$ ~
> >4 R/ M5 P; i! q! i6 C+ g% P7 H, f
> > Dress Code' H2 G3 d/ O1 A! ]2 Q$ u
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
( o S# n& p- t/ w* d6 v> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing+ Y. J( `" J7 O" T0 o
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume7 {* l9 Z. n2 o6 J& G# Y* J9 K3 K
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
7 m9 a$ \4 k+ Y6 ~> > need a pay raise.( E0 c. a+ ]6 Q. S' X, ~/ ]1 \; t
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
) ^# o; H7 O2 M0 o> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
8 b C2 R" c- U7 E# s" e% h> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.! B# y$ z. T1 `& ]5 g& d# k4 _
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
; P, r2 L" M. R: _0 c" g- W& N7 V> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
* z: Q" Z" I; k, R6 }' y> > raise.
. U) R8 X+ w4 d3 J- B> >
8 ~) H5 j$ ]8 Q) S> > Sick Days) f) y' C r H) J) O! f
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as" Q% q3 n4 ~& ]0 H( q2 T2 e6 b$ p+ B
> > proof of sickness.& W' t0 i: z0 q3 P: \: P
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
( p0 }) T. M$ I- K/ c; ~9 L> > to come to work.
! I6 I" s0 [5 n& Q( J6 ]% i& K> >
" Z% d* G5 X; i. C> > Holiday Days
2 x# n' b4 P$ y) I, W> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
- M$ T3 V& C# \> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.0 T% L' a9 A. S" C' F# Z0 _8 a+ u
> >
# O$ ~9 n9 a2 j> > Compassionate Leave0 u+ ?' ?+ n2 ~( R
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing, g4 k- B: P4 t/ o+ g9 `% ]7 }5 @
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-2 D' |6 ]' w8 P7 B% W
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
/ s0 l# ^6 s$ u+ B/ t6 ]7 l> > employees attend to the arrangements.: M: I. {/ ?4 ?) G7 w1 z
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
0 C+ T4 `* N7 ?$ V7 X9 L> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
$ ~$ x( U4 T5 b) R5 g6 c5 N4 R> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work2 e8 |1 J. Q+ ~% d( i, B8 R, n
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
: U* s n( {1 u) v0 U- C! u> > hour early.
. G% N5 A/ s. _2 S, z- ^1 V1 _' J> >
* L- S, U& }) z) j, z+ b> > Toilet Use% l+ j7 l+ B/ _ n5 f1 x/ A1 L( T% |
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
2 |# q4 Q4 h$ d: ~$ V+ @- q> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
8 o3 x& y$ M" }# T( H) W S# s0 r> > in the cubicles.8 n; l8 H' m, \/ M; O5 o" W/ d
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
: ]! b5 l/ f& S! O> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle T$ M2 |( a8 O* N
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.& ]( U; B$ R9 _
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
7 S, l) `# x) x. s5 ^> > posted on the company notice board under the
: X4 v1 O: `6 \1 r* u) O: p> > "Chronic Offenders" category.# {8 _* Z6 @0 |6 j1 z4 ?
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be! {: l/ p, S7 F/ b+ I
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
3 A9 K- ` k+ y& E2 V> > policy.0 D) l3 U% ^$ B( i6 Q+ r- U
> >
. [; E& \( C+ m8 G/ N* B% q> > Lunch Break
' M1 M0 z' }5 p1 M> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they+ w. E6 p1 ]( N; w( N* M3 `
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
# \. S/ i9 j i% u> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to2 f+ s0 C% a X
> > maintain their average figure.' ^( v$ r' z" L4 K0 Q5 _
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time7 H3 C0 o3 t: d. \% n# S
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.% L5 o2 C$ M" G# F! r& _/ m7 |( r+ {4 S
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
7 f2 H; h9 T! e( F> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
3 T) L8 y1 Y) m9 m' ?1 | X4 M4 f> > employment experience.4 J0 W2 N: J1 ~% y
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
5 u3 ^; @2 O& Z5 B2 d> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
1 w) z- c& y1 J# H* F q> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
" Y- |1 W7 K5 N7 X+ f n7 U. O> > directed elsewhere. |
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