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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:0 X1 P% [2 p5 J$ d- t2 [
> > Effective January 2007
9 u) N$ v$ K% x2 b% Y7 V& ?> >
1 N0 u3 j! I8 ?- B. M( r> > Dress Code
; W% C9 ~4 N+ c0 E. L! O8 s> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed4 N7 g0 D0 N( U1 y6 Z9 \- g
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
z3 X& C7 Q+ V2 H2 X. J* F/ O3 R> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume6 C: Q+ {1 _; @) I* X( ?
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
6 x) e9 Z& Z0 M8 f> > need a pay raise.8 A: t/ Y" J$ e1 ~, ?% G/ K' v
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
5 U$ f9 T3 ` S4 k. _> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
' |/ f9 ~5 z6 f> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
7 Q$ d, S) w; F> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
" k4 K: ?" _5 L, |> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
5 D. V2 p, H3 m- ]6 I( {8 ^> > raise.
7 D. j. c3 B" f; s! j" w> >
6 G, |5 [3 F p$ o3 Z, Y E> > Sick Days
$ _: V7 J5 O0 y, |/ c> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as. X. `$ C7 s" v2 k; W) a
> > proof of sickness.) t; X9 E, A+ j7 f) y
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able+ O; H9 v8 S/ Z' F0 g
> > to come to work.
5 U* v+ E/ j1 `+ V> >
! Y% S+ J3 V+ E, u> > Holiday Days
5 S, y5 }; W& B' D> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
. D7 ]; F' ^4 e3 O9 X T! R* a> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.5 j' |4 k! }1 r" |. K( p
> >
0 X& }4 k4 c& b$ w/ j1 _2 o> > Compassionate Leave
: W& I# d( [$ K# X; U) l& L* C9 L> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing$ _6 p: N; O" H# X& V# W
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
$ k3 S I& F$ \4 l1 T' K, o> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
* k$ M% k/ Z0 M7 e4 [3 _1 f; k. G> > employees attend to the arrangements.
! a0 _; U6 E( \/ ~+ @> > In rare cases where employee involvement is! O& d8 _6 e7 Y+ @8 j, @$ U
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the |9 J& ^9 v8 m% f% |& X# A1 R9 M
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work" b7 x; x2 k! l( @: A7 F
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one T9 W: D- e5 Q5 l# d
> > hour early.# i% ? `+ T8 N4 S0 L# t/ J
> >
0 W* n' Q! @. `$ a4 t; k9 N) H> > Toilet Use
0 E- D( u0 h; ?- s ]) [% i# p8 C> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the5 c. f# m- G H$ a
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
, U* m ^2 V: t7 ]> > in the cubicles.
9 d6 b8 l' b" s! j1 F> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
, ]3 R; F# s+ O7 k5 m> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
; @) k" j( o& w3 u2 m, J+ H x> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3 q6 o! I' D; h* C: u2 S3 o> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be* v& O# z1 w" F/ Q
> > posted on the company notice board under the
9 h" s" W. A- O3 H# E. J( B0 j/ F$ v> > "Chronic Offenders" category.5 ?, {, p# e1 d" p0 Z, I A
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be9 ?2 g1 I! C4 E2 L
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
/ P4 @# x# X( M2 u1 |> > policy.
- Y' C/ ]" \ z9 U& s/ f> >: P; D" s5 l9 _+ A u: I
> > Lunch Break
( E2 L6 Z' z+ _3 i4 w> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they, e) I: Q& f% K# E
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
- `: E1 v/ @$ c9 _+ B# n' ~> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to$ J7 T- F$ H7 e0 f/ N" G% y& ]
> > maintain their average figure.
0 P1 a. h1 J! j3 `> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
! Y: ?1 k' E, l5 d! i& G> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.8 v" ], ~& N. [3 A; y
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
# d3 L' K: r) h> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
, ?; s4 z1 T/ Z8 g> > employment experience.' o% S( S$ i W/ Z
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
; q& y9 G1 E4 _4 m9 r& K4 R> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,/ O. V3 Z2 T# N
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be+ ^" N: A9 w& t! F
> > directed elsewhere. |
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