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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
+ K E0 r* n T> > Effective January 2007: y. L1 q: i. ~$ T$ r" S, _+ s
> >
* V, `" q( D% F% e3 x- T' S+ u! `> > Dress Code
6 @" U8 {9 E& N7 T/ J> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
! D. D7 x$ m. r6 Y+ X# D, a> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing5 U' J0 C9 m3 |* g/ X
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
& ^; p# w1 J2 S: `> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
5 B9 J. z6 O0 m2 R& W: N2 w8 E> > need a pay raise.
# ]4 u t; c# n- f2 ~: |1 `4 I* w6 }> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage4 V% q8 T. s% s% \. A! B6 q
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer4 l l' |+ F* @6 | Z# p
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
) j2 k; r' I" C5 n- I, ]. |8 r! z> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you0 @5 n/ C3 x* R, x6 [0 r3 B4 ~' v& w
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay* _( W* i5 p. I6 x1 @9 l5 j7 H
> > raise.: q" q; O) d# l; f' c" d
> >. @. u/ Y* O9 i5 O# t6 l' {! d
> > Sick Days
! l8 ^' {' r; {, ]: T4 P> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as6 C: L: Y8 O/ h" m; g8 u3 y
> > proof of sickness.% q9 O% L6 d" F5 i; r
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able" M5 f2 {; A. d7 |
> > to come to work.
1 \8 F ]9 y0 D& v1 O3 L }> >
# [6 o8 ?# y2 s! s- C0 [> > Holiday Days
& g- j9 d% {8 h/ n s> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a3 I9 d, Y F7 Q. h, z6 L
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.' A, s1 S( b+ S1 W! |2 V2 N& v
> >
5 u+ s M6 n" e! ]% K2 ]; U> > Compassionate Leave; u/ N1 T! [' w/ S0 B9 a2 q
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing, Z' }6 a' Z7 I3 N/ \' C& q$ s
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
- L, U$ E0 m/ j* p0 S> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-7 C- C/ B4 p& J3 K. r" O7 R, \
> > employees attend to the arrangements.: n5 ^7 C% s( N3 T2 o
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
" T4 w0 t! l' r: _' l' y" x> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
/ Z# O1 d* o1 O# v> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work- V+ f+ r; t2 g* J4 q5 z8 @5 a' C
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one8 |9 c4 ]' u) J
> > hour early.# r4 Y, ^) X3 d& @
> >
: U* ~ B4 c$ V3 U> > Toilet Use
' v# V% n) k2 a% C) W1 K* p1 }> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the, g/ a1 G) J3 x2 t E
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
4 n$ ~: K, G8 R> > in the cubicles.: F5 U5 Q% q* h* u/ U- C7 v4 M8 ?
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
. A. d& n$ r' O" B> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle$ N' {: ?3 B0 t
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
2 e3 y$ v/ E r& S4 p* K+ b> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be7 u: a5 C/ n3 {$ H w
> > posted on the company notice board under the1 d; g6 b% e- P8 a
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.7 J- R/ y$ W% a- V# H0 |0 b3 k
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be8 G7 g# d! {5 P0 y* o
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
( v! t/ u/ n0 L1 H> > policy.
# R7 D( r, y8 U/ A8 m> >; r( c r) Q' `9 W8 _6 n' d4 ~
> > Lunch Break x6 t5 G' X s4 M# S$ ^1 b/ {
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
6 |* l, O' f9 P2 g> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.6 M6 G4 |- r9 `; b% X: s
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
0 f. e7 g4 U) W0 C9 }> > maintain their average figure." K+ b3 E7 X' g
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
: B% m, _( F+ o L, d> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.- V" `$ r1 c* z3 H2 x$ H2 D
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are' ~3 T6 O3 N1 U" N+ N1 j8 C; U
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive& A% _- G5 K1 j" s$ T
> > employment experience.
9 h! B1 M' g1 Y* A5 j% V* ~> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,5 ^% J! ?2 i0 w( ?9 ?8 I9 Q, t* C
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,' F* f" y! O; D6 r
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be7 E' D3 z) F5 u) y3 T
> > directed elsewhere. |
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