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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:: m5 ^( Z8 ]1 |, Y, c
> > Effective January 20071 X/ `) q! N: l( w5 A/ n9 \
> >
2 A0 l) ^7 r5 U1 c! r% n$ ], E, u> > Dress Code+ E6 w" W; _2 I7 e* k( {
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed2 f, v$ g9 n1 f8 D6 C
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
5 C/ a0 T! r, Q& ?% e8 f> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume6 \: g- s# c& Q/ y* X
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not3 I1 j2 o, {0 C9 Y
> > need a pay raise.
2 x# F+ {7 g2 V0 {3 A# T$ g. w> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
9 z/ J a. `) w) R> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer0 }& P7 d' k% O8 M4 j4 A
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise., H2 P% o0 t" u
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you9 h" n" |7 ]2 B
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
/ x0 ]+ W& I4 X e n/ f1 c" z> > raise.
v, K ]$ s9 m9 w) }7 V> >% \9 x; L# S' }: l# G3 C$ b5 b
> > Sick Days* ]& U7 m7 Y: H
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
% p' h+ l, C: L$ C> > proof of sickness.+ I: R+ H( ~. U1 B
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able% w8 Q9 @7 Y9 r( D5 x0 V/ ~
> > to come to work.
4 Z% @) B8 b2 u> >
# F1 F% p2 `+ S4 |: O2 H> > Holiday Days3 X) |( K& v, `% r' n* h; n
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
7 ]9 G% u2 P8 a! _6 E/ _> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday., I* v1 G% g9 b6 ]
> >; B% s# I5 m5 d" S G
> > Compassionate Leave
/ ~8 A6 Y9 ]& }> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing( a! X+ T0 H8 k; i" G. b v l1 E
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
, ]" l, C1 c! {! a4 t3 ?0 h> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-! V7 t8 V3 v2 O1 a' {
> > employees attend to the arrangements.: |( Z, H3 N& b- F) P5 \
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
6 ]& E3 g% X2 J6 f> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the/ q! |* @2 T# S7 y( J, _6 k7 I
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work, R- E, `: D2 h. u5 I- `. X
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one: a8 y6 s4 H8 N( ^3 G. M: e5 J
> > hour early.
! Y7 N7 O9 O: n: l2 t% c9 r> >
* E P4 u1 u6 W& ~> > Toilet Use
1 J. S8 |; k8 I+ g1 H Z/ K3 F# c> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
A+ L: R9 `- N" K2 p. P1 T> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit, I, ?6 k8 ?6 I+ z4 q& }
> > in the cubicles.
4 B" E* z( J G5 {) g> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will* n6 E5 k8 ^) T9 x" ~
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle3 x! m* C a4 T& t4 Q, c. _
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.$ p$ n/ T" J9 g( d- c, D
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be1 p+ H5 h5 `* M! S. p! d# k( Q/ j* M
> > posted on the company notice board under the
/ b, U6 d2 q) t6 j, T( g> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
) e |: @! Q/ B' K0 C$ {, E> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be* B, a' H0 u6 I, g) w! C
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health! U* S+ B" q `5 O
> > policy.
& q% j# s3 o$ i. f> >
: h* K: R+ t" Q6 |> > Lunch Break
( S* T5 V) O [# ]! R% v* k> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they B/ F e: z0 r, d
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
5 k& W6 O9 k" o5 v* Z. s8 @0 v> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to% W- H* k6 ?$ s2 [
> > maintain their average figure.4 O9 k% x$ H7 D, l) V
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
# E: A2 _% `+ `: C> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
. P' d& u' Y4 e> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
/ w& h* x) g& S$ ]1 d% D, e" R/ j> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
; h3 E/ U i6 m( c _" ?> > employment experience.
2 V- o3 [/ E1 H9 N$ S> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
3 }# ^* J8 j1 w4 v" V> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,' Y. _% L5 P4 y$ i
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
$ p2 h3 X9 A# f/ n4 ?> > directed elsewhere. |
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