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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:. v& v+ [6 y# b. N
> > Effective January 2007
: w( p( I9 L. m1 Q! h% B6 c> >: ]& V% n, }5 f' m# F5 a6 W
> > Dress Code0 x [& u# O- o. c
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
3 |/ X8 k# }2 [! O0 o$ }* p> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing" B: C4 t: R% H1 ]+ y
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
8 c3 t8 R" H6 I> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not- l) Q7 e ?$ @! b
> > need a pay raise.
5 H6 ?! t7 i$ b: N2 E> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
( L; ]/ G$ D- g> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer3 u$ D7 ~3 D: O( Z" ~
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
4 \' v. J9 N4 ], o; U1 H> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you3 J/ x; v& Y! L& s, w' i7 g- x
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
, a" D4 `1 Y2 U> > raise./ e! R4 n0 }+ c0 X1 W: l1 U
> >4 R6 r- ]0 k) G: |& p/ t8 [4 E
> > Sick Days
3 }# ]; @0 n5 \( f t> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
2 |9 e6 ?8 J5 t# P/ W> > proof of sickness.; ?6 W* y5 n4 A. F. {' ^- [
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
7 Q# e F& T/ l8 c6 y1 r> > to come to work. C! t+ |. U& A% ]3 G
> >
$ |0 ?) ~2 T; r* H> > Holiday Days
* L3 o* d: j! k& g> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a8 u7 T, S2 J+ |- B+ S
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.+ A" Y l( {3 |! O& V) V7 r8 k
> >7 _2 W/ K% ^+ b; I
> > Compassionate Leave8 A, K9 k% h: H
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
3 x d2 S: I$ o> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-0 O( D1 X5 f' U4 ]! J/ [$ B
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-. O0 z& q; \/ F$ S- D& }7 p1 y
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
$ W& m/ ~; V: S' @) W6 l> > In rare cases where employee involvement is7 |9 _: I% L% W1 s' s
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
* ~( E. A) f0 Q2 B7 r$ R> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work$ u. z& x% {. _5 P+ q l" [+ ~
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
2 a* r$ g v6 M4 n) ?> > hour early.) E( }+ S0 d, e# w
> >
" f- k9 I- _4 m s> > Toilet Use0 M' N, M" T7 i) W
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the; ?) O- u) N: ]9 |* [$ e9 ^
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit. M. E# [4 S6 A
> > in the cubicles.
" K* r+ }: v' |> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will0 O& Q# q- [; S. I: j( V4 ?) D
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
2 t! t# h( D U3 c$ Q3 s6 t> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
; c5 Z8 a+ r# T0 i2 B> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
; n3 g5 t8 ] G! Z J" a0 g> > posted on the company notice board under the
8 r- W" P( B6 w8 c> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
5 U, t2 q2 o3 h7 i! h; W4 t; d> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be8 \! F: X! e( z1 e( _% t3 e
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health- ~* {: W; f( s9 P Y
> > policy., S7 W3 K# L/ G3 X) R0 b. `
> >6 Y9 p8 k7 i% x5 \, q" ?; K6 U, Z
> > Lunch Break6 V8 t/ u) B1 g% _4 t9 i* r: `7 m
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
) G, ~9 Y5 u: M. B, E> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.4 \, @7 ?* `6 y3 j$ u% t
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to/ H$ U, D) A3 s& U9 i
> > maintain their average figure.9 g* @5 E& Z" e& y
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time) `( H% v; t1 z, Q5 j
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
( ?" f7 f8 k5 r' q+ F% i> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are0 a; ~2 a( K* ]# S
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive" V+ Y2 W( Q5 y+ G# N J" c" S
> > employment experience. {, u8 ]! y- E& E
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
% l! U: z4 Z' {7 W6 ]5 D3 C( K> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
* ^! h+ |/ k4 ]- L4 ^> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be3 V8 @2 U4 u' z Z. k* n3 a
> > directed elsewhere. |
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