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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:$ ?9 }# Y# y/ Q3 i G! l2 B
> > Effective January 2007. ?5 @) p9 v3 M, {# h! Z' y
> >
: W" S; o* U# h. ^. A4 b) f> > Dress Code8 X& R% y/ j" D$ {! V
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed+ r' @" `3 H* ]& K, G
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing1 I* e, _# {* @: k
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
1 k- y6 \! w- y& A5 ]> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not9 u3 S* A* `) v- c+ V" [- w- \
> > need a pay raise.6 d; P1 d9 b+ b! O. B! U
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
- P* w0 p% I% A: l+ J# }; V> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
/ A' B; R5 ]" z3 g0 I# e. C> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
. e$ K+ u" s( H+ f! X1 X8 [> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
! C9 ~* t3 o/ k: A. n' C) v) e> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
4 s6 u8 J" K9 g* `5 Z$ K> > raise.
r5 v# _( m5 ~% R" Z. W/ j> >- Q) |, g1 n- |9 Z1 ?" {* S i
> > Sick Days
A" Q" M$ o9 o: `> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
: ^% ]! w! g$ E> > proof of sickness.2 a* U m! s; U2 u
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able6 v0 s& S7 R" O2 C
> > to come to work.+ i- S6 N' m2 I G
> >
2 m3 ~6 ]- M- O> > Holiday Days
( q* {+ s3 s( _) |5 T; r& z> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
$ g& _8 J! g/ g3 x& O ]0 a& f> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. m0 d& K0 ]( p7 O
> >
! y( j/ {2 B( C# T> > Compassionate Leave
( Q4 ]4 _- |+ a> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
6 o( Q% y. u# i$ d' e6 v4 g& s3 i> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
' _, X5 Y& s% S; X! J" m" J> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
" n/ H4 ?9 t8 D! `) Q> > employees attend to the arrangements.
: v' b ?7 h* v! K: S4 ?5 w> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
z1 x8 G( J5 v3 ^4 \4 W q1 d; l> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
, M7 K' O \; P> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work# \2 C1 ]: P X3 X8 S- a' }
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one! M7 {% p: q+ M" m! F% c' I1 L. o( k7 Q
> > hour early.0 K m' \& |9 ~/ n
> >
$ p2 c- l/ z/ q. Q8 @" }> > Toilet Use
) k) {0 g, B6 R5 \& N" L. e/ Y> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the5 S1 \3 J# T6 R( B7 ~' J$ x
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit# \ r z9 w9 y o2 W
> > in the cubicles.2 @9 {. a0 d8 [$ a4 ^1 h
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will; Q. j! N' I* O+ i1 a
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
4 n+ d' ]! j9 i- D, Y. h> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
1 @6 ]% u. {% I8 d2 ^> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
! d0 w! q& r4 i> > posted on the company notice board under the+ v3 M+ J: o' y+ v! Z
> > "Chronic Offenders" category./ R1 u, ?7 j9 J5 M
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
0 [5 ]1 ~* g4 v# O2 c> > sanctioned under the company's mental health3 n3 H9 @! P0 F; S. o9 K+ N% ^% D" S. i
> > policy.
- i c9 c6 H0 a. w' M> >
* q a3 q+ n- F0 ?. C' d- x4 V> > Lunch Break
. n# W' X. p' }9 I5 t( t& }> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they$ z$ h8 |: N( w
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
; a$ X! E% F( A; N> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
1 |& U; S/ W! F% J( L> > maintain their average figure.
+ F6 t6 @4 d! ^4 s/ @8 R' s6 U> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
$ i" L8 X& D7 u$ @> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast./ A# `- X# Z- K! U
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are8 R+ D0 m/ P) a/ y1 v
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive- _/ h" g# n1 w
> > employment experience., s! n! z/ T [+ X( O, c: M
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
/ j1 s( r* a* P% t, F> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
5 t* \- R" O# Y/ v! p> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
, T ~# `- y+ B1 u+ T, T9 t, X> > directed elsewhere. |
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