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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
5 W0 ]; o! T6 A. G/ K# o> > Effective January 2007( D5 a$ {/ ~+ p/ {9 m1 p. c4 l
> >: n# T4 i1 R+ `1 w \
> > Dress Code6 q( Z; M! C# e9 U1 U% o
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed# N/ C/ M. T) u
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
: P; P* e2 l8 {& _1 D: q3 ^> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume$ G8 D* X( R* T& y
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
9 o, E4 n) e; g I> > need a pay raise.
5 P9 z/ w0 s, o! P) z! A$ B. m> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
$ P) n% q7 C8 l4 X Q% m> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
" ^4 Z* X& z4 @$ r: m> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
; I: h% g+ D5 m* o% K" `& j> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you ^! N+ p' b4 }
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay2 U5 n9 W& G4 T, ?, F6 U* y) y
> > raise.
* U# }6 [& R, W A; i> >5 c* y; Y1 G/ E8 X5 m+ i
> > Sick Days
7 Q. e$ ^* r$ c Q> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
0 q$ g" y2 O3 C/ c Z8 l> > proof of sickness.
- b% r6 K3 ^* I0 l> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
/ B8 \5 c" S$ M2 F4 r> > to come to work.
" z% `# z/ S0 o> >
D( T' D$ V8 T, s# H) l! V> > Holiday Days
1 @- j& H% t% Q3 t5 k# a5 g& f& v> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
$ l$ N/ c2 j% l0 @2 f$ ?> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.) _& z$ @2 [9 I2 k
> >7 \) |1 s0 t2 S9 L. Q
> > Compassionate Leave( |2 [9 v- j7 X( @! M
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing4 L* E. B! |& x$ x h/ e3 z) q! ^
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
9 D6 z. e% `9 ?2 e# h7 }- f> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-# r0 C+ l+ P" z Y7 R
> > employees attend to the arrangements.1 @- B9 Y) w$ l2 h) E6 q# K
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
7 W+ T3 _' s V' V: Y> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
$ g' h0 n! o! E: U; w9 C) v B; u> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work9 E! u3 ?. i; P6 A: D$ p
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one& {+ F8 P6 k' y; j; \
> > hour early.
) F$ |' v9 @: A! Z> >2 |8 s6 N/ ~8 _! f9 S
> > Toilet Use5 {7 m- n& s; V
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
w8 g2 V. m8 H! W3 M# \) x> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit& }% h! V U J
> > in the cubicles.2 ]% I; `$ {# B5 Q% f$ H: K3 j
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will* c/ g7 u3 W. D& X
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle5 _' M) \ P5 n$ X+ _2 a
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.) s# ?/ I" n2 D! F
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be$ e) J* S2 |3 I; \
> > posted on the company notice board under the+ r+ Y; Z- U2 X. K2 C: D5 \
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
6 J( P' u2 k; X) l3 s/ ^. p> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be& I3 W# U3 M2 H( a& v7 r- |
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health8 u) e d, ~% }0 O1 S: [
> > policy.
' p' R+ _+ T5 K4 r, k> >. j* {4 L0 t7 I( S# F" ~- M7 O! W
> > Lunch Break
& y5 Y) b, j& S1 f> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they7 a( {8 v5 F% Y/ |* H1 z
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
: b; Q# ^. C9 P> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
9 ^& |1 r- C' l9 p> > maintain their average figure.7 P$ r. T. |$ p) x4 l$ z
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time+ C/ r( t7 p& @+ K
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.& u% T; z$ p' A7 N- j+ v8 t+ Q* @
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are; j! n- X& _: b h7 z* ?4 W. ^
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
. `. u9 L0 ]. W> > employment experience.0 o; ?' e* C0 A$ W: t& i7 Y
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,% \! {+ x5 K+ U
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,: p) w: f' Y# g$ {. ^
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be9 g( i h f2 a% A9 A0 {
> > directed elsewhere. |
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