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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:6 t* }3 \8 y u3 Z' a5 I
> > Effective January 2007' F" l! ^3 W' H& d. c$ V% |
> >- a9 M' O: ^& L9 j1 ~
> > Dress Code
: o( d- |7 v' ~5 ~/ T7 k> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed. o; Y% A0 Z3 V
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing& v) E, t' X( I% t' k5 ]# D
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
- W9 \2 d$ ~1 M" X$ M9 e> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
# w \" } d& |# }> > need a pay raise.
+ o3 S2 F O9 i" L> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
1 V) p0 O* u5 |> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
# s# ?. z, f. z. D> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.5 p1 Z8 V, B5 ]$ k# T$ g- Y
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
0 T1 c9 Q' L: m> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
5 A% A/ r- I. U5 s> > raise.
2 s6 x) W3 l. }6 Q! z> >
3 `0 \* e) N9 l) S> > Sick Days# n2 c m$ x; ]
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
& N3 k) t) u1 Z, {0 a- B> > proof of sickness.3 A j) c$ U Z" O' W; e! h Z+ b
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able$ @4 |5 J! ~) i
> > to come to work.
# j' ]1 e: p6 M9 r. U9 ^; Q3 H: x: o/ J> >8 b- W7 B0 O3 c8 y. S' b1 T' R
> > Holiday Days; s2 G1 X- f4 q2 P7 x$ s
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a) x4 e5 v/ b H3 K n; n' {& d
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
. F% u: `& i# H/ _" x> >
" r: f2 w* u6 h( y/ V) N> > Compassionate Leave
4 h/ j4 y% ? e# |/ e" N8 B> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing9 j# r9 [7 l% [( D; j3 ~
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
5 E) L9 U/ u. ?> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
, Z- B) Q7 \1 H7 s9 N5 Y> > employees attend to the arrangements.4 i! q* N6 R8 M9 g N0 m9 m
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
4 T5 s3 I R( U0 x0 x# W/ l% f, g> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
" @ ~; I/ M( }> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work; m5 T' r. [8 z9 t) Y! U
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
! O: J, m2 |. g ~1 v> > hour early.
& x7 N/ Z* J" L' W+ ], T> >4 n$ Q5 n* i K( n( h
> > Toilet Use
. c3 w V9 S) X" a O2 L& i> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the' j) m3 k# e8 M" U+ Q, Q# t0 M
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit) D0 z, U( x9 m( k, E
> > in the cubicles.) \5 h6 y3 y1 e5 R$ v
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will* g- b) c6 r9 M# W; f
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle! q/ k! G- @& b( C5 N
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.- ]1 g) j4 X( e
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be( a: q. w& M9 h: n& S0 f' y
> > posted on the company notice board under the, m$ t+ ?1 f7 w
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
; r/ s$ w0 V. m+ U5 h8 u4 r/ s l> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
' j, y K* S/ m2 f1 n& R> > sanctioned under the company's mental health7 V; P& z* N, }2 P) e. H. N
> > policy.9 y6 |! u: y- J9 c2 ~) m; q
> >
/ x" T) u& C/ y! A' o1 n* b' k( e6 K' p> > Lunch Break
+ m8 w- h# ~8 H: F8 Y5 R> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
0 U" P$ h" R/ \" @& i> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
; T+ o* n1 {( t> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
, h4 A! g# H( Y, a5 T> > maintain their average figure.
' F; b9 ]( o$ |& l: G+ G0 u( O$ U> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time3 X2 d _5 p# @9 q0 i- x
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.8 Z: r1 t! l& H6 R- X
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
2 N0 ]. e5 q2 Y> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive! I9 n \7 Y/ ~/ v+ g2 r
> > employment experience.( u! {/ x( B; N; k' E% v" `3 o V. _
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
6 d- U3 z2 z/ ^- i) i$ K> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
0 t2 i6 n- T$ b6 w& X9 }: v> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
( s s1 b5 e5 W8 p* H& v> > directed elsewhere. |
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