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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:+ S g5 b7 i6 Z+ j* W; d2 w; a9 V
> > Effective January 2007" F [" m# {3 P1 S/ v
> >
. j) D2 K3 l* ]3 M4 g0 @; [ o> > Dress Code9 ?6 N% o: Y; F
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
! w5 t: h! j5 K> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing+ \0 Q0 E; J3 y& N5 {0 e
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume1 r0 Z- H6 D3 o5 `; c4 K5 b. a
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
! Q0 _) e: K' J> > need a pay raise. P( |& q p6 p U+ F# [0 j
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
" E3 x4 u8 ?% k( a! y& V: {> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer; l8 M& l$ f" S
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.: x6 W3 e: ?+ x' ~! p
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you- o% y. r( r0 m6 I7 p- \0 ?
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay" C* u( T* h3 U
> > raise.
/ _9 J, Y$ q! M) }> >- y5 i9 s' d7 ~5 G
> > Sick Days6 E9 r9 w! c* C9 x% b
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
! m# l1 h& O/ H* b( F% L: O$ Y: P> > proof of sickness.7 J5 L8 }/ C% ?* ?. v/ N
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able0 F3 V# i1 P& o
> > to come to work.
- D8 `9 `3 k0 R# D> >; U" m) V) X0 {9 b( s, i! Y# ~
> > Holiday Days" n, l+ [' a% v8 a" A7 N7 p( K, K
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a% u, e9 e" E4 }+ Q, s
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.4 |; }* ]' j9 ?: H) q
> >
! w O; R' ]6 v% l7 r, \9 g2 L> > Compassionate Leave2 C5 X! j$ x0 c: Y$ o% P9 W
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing( O ?7 u. z/ d! s1 F7 W
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-) l0 D1 }! X# j0 _# {
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
' ?) O8 T' W! B* M8 `! E" i> > employees attend to the arrangements." t9 F5 O, M+ l" t" `# z0 b
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
3 ]* Q; I6 Z' o/ o0 h! `> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the5 P( Z2 H4 F0 z l, B9 m9 i' l
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
/ {" V# m& r/ G! R6 ~6 {> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
, E U4 m& V: c0 K) @, q. L) O O> > hour early.: L# S- j8 F. V i9 q- L
> >* E2 d7 G$ x- H& ?7 P( Y6 R% Z
> > Toilet Use% Q; o" ]1 j+ f, g8 D
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the- U ?' Q5 T) H; _
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
6 R- _ J+ i2 w" q5 ^2 |8 Y% Z> > in the cubicles.
6 r7 ]) @' f9 u) A> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
. @( r7 q: ~! r> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle$ `# V) c( R$ p0 \+ q+ o9 @
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.( K3 V2 ]4 }: O- O1 z
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be# K A' E, Z: O: D) B
> > posted on the company notice board under the" n+ A1 m7 R( i& S3 H+ }6 }3 p
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
& I& r7 G4 H6 D& a> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be H8 D A( T& H; @! J8 q( x6 x& r! w: M
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health7 \' I# O/ s$ L$ b
> > policy.! e5 ?6 a3 D4 v
> >1 c/ _4 ~ g# ^& J. i
> > Lunch Break
3 H$ p& R# m2 d/ Y8 {0 {5 q7 k> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they5 Z; x+ r$ [. s7 b
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy./ h9 e9 ]7 o6 F5 h8 H
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to! T2 \0 \9 t9 k) s
> > maintain their average figure.
! u7 O- G4 w0 [> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time: ]& U9 W6 f+ C
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.4 |) d7 `; Q6 c( N L. O
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are: K2 [9 Z7 N4 Z t- t/ ?7 n
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
, }' I Z- V: h( c' [$ k8 l> > employment experience.% K; d9 A% K: |
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,0 Z1 l3 N- ~4 J s* Z$ I f5 P
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
, {$ m t) n9 T _$ |2 |. g Z> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be) O5 z9 B. D5 r- Y/ p
> > directed elsewhere. |
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