|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:
& p1 C: ?; u& y. n e# {. x> > Effective January 2007
' E# x8 f7 N6 w# @9 ~9 k3 @) O& ~> >
8 t3 a$ ]! a* `7 [( T> > Dress Code0 b) F9 v5 K3 |
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed. r: {, T5 w2 m$ ^6 J) m9 f. z
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing7 w R( s. P1 ~8 k
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume" Q' k s" z6 P4 h1 z# m# O
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
8 S$ e3 Y" w, r+ v2 T+ h; R. A> > need a pay raise.
$ [$ h8 v: U# L0 N" T5 q) V+ b1 R> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage$ H {( n* Z5 ]' b7 F
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
" v& C( v) V- x, c> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
9 t+ Y: t" W+ g( R3 Y# d3 }> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you( W7 x/ k) S/ G- R ]$ X
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
( s q8 F8 o3 S2 n> > raise.4 w4 e" n! _- O5 k& @" z
> >: Q5 a/ Y6 f* y' R- b
> > Sick Days% c! F. f( A, u# [ S- r
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
8 Y+ i0 B( j) C! u" h9 a4 v% k* w> > proof of sickness.
( z4 n2 A" }5 |# x> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able% b" Q7 M1 k: J) b' S9 X- J
> > to come to work.) ^% l0 D: C' y- {) s: l
> >
e) x: [! P; L+ T5 s( _+ t) I> > Holiday Days
* |% G) K4 t. {+ q0 K n6 M> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a% R8 J# K9 ]/ L) j+ O3 X% |
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.* D# F3 b/ U- w) R U* W q! S# {% c
> >2 f7 p3 _+ _6 }, ^) k* j, m. m x# O
> > Compassionate Leave+ q7 W& q$ D4 D4 J8 f- K
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
' f- e0 K7 o9 q+ g> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
2 n0 b+ |+ D% J> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
* O; \ ` ?) B( p> > employees attend to the arrangements.
9 \8 q4 W& u! i5 z! g; q> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
S# D2 ]3 X/ ]; B) ?> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
* j+ q T! c( X4 \9 M2 @> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work/ j0 g! N: F* H( h; |7 V" W/ Q4 a
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
# y+ a) C8 a. }, \ \> > hour early.$ G, h4 m% b l' ?
> >( _; x8 ]5 W5 v: V) F# Q6 u( H
> > Toilet Use
& d: o) A; R% t3 y4 W& \> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the- C1 K5 F9 m d$ t+ a! M
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
- X G, q8 M- f# l: J! @ }6 E; [> > in the cubicles., ~, h8 z% m/ Q3 H' @: ?3 r ]
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
" O7 C$ A+ r9 c# D* g> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle7 X. O9 B+ F! n6 Y1 r
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
6 H0 v* D' O; h8 J$ ~/ }: `> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
4 ?; G2 q7 i( `> > posted on the company notice board under the h$ \' K$ f1 w; z( L9 r9 M
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
- q+ V9 q2 t4 _9 E# n1 M x* v> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be9 y( ?1 z) @6 B* p; z) }1 ]- @
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
8 G0 W2 w+ m6 b" |" I> > policy.
/ s' c8 u# k% o& ]# R0 }> >6 j- x- \! M0 g4 k- s
> > Lunch Break
, O# y1 k$ a3 e; [+ U2 j- V# z> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they# N+ y9 [6 x7 Q$ D1 ?0 d3 x8 J; }
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.8 _: y# Z% Q6 e0 E
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to: y$ J. y% K3 U% z) g9 E
> > maintain their average figure., J( y9 g5 f K
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
8 b1 Q( w0 |/ R6 F> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
2 u0 Q; j6 p D/ g1 V2 x5 c> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are( a2 r! I% P) x- g! C9 z
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive, N) k" ?4 n: w; Z
> > employment experience.6 w8 I, @& u5 h$ @) u" H0 ?
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
& T; @. P0 a: b' q3 e> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
5 w* J: H' z7 D5 n# I9 {5 B> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
( h; @: A- U9 r$ X( ^2 H$ P> > directed elsewhere. |
|
