|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:9 P0 u& o3 j: j% P
> > Effective January 2007$ Q+ _7 K% H" m* n1 n3 s
> >& l) M1 ~2 U! k/ ~( T" o9 ~' ]' y
> > Dress Code/ E' @( B0 Z( ]! |9 y' e
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
d2 Z& }, @% M: i/ C, N2 h; c> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
. ^- W% Z; w7 ^- J e0 U' v> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
V% r* J4 t7 `, K2 M> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
/ V$ Z. a6 G- t' u> > need a pay raise.
) T5 {4 `% e$ c) r m" t" Z> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage5 |5 e, D: L3 M+ Y+ w* l
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
0 d' @. R* ]# A4 f& W> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
* ]1 }, k3 O. H1 x: [, }8 v/ `> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you7 x9 o1 F) o- p* `
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
( G6 x* c4 s) n4 L/ e" T> > raise.
. P& h* o' @, @( p T> >7 N$ f7 ~% W0 P" a6 Z! M N9 h
> > Sick Days, H( z' H7 ~: K( a; {4 k+ }$ Q8 J
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as z# S% W6 M4 D" |
> > proof of sickness.
5 U0 Q) b: g9 h> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able, Y2 f# R7 y# |, ^, s
> > to come to work.2 T7 a8 _+ t! F1 @1 k8 i8 R' b9 t7 `" j
> >
8 E4 k$ W* E( n! A6 ?2 { ?7 S @> > Holiday Days7 ?) Q) P1 R5 W/ R" ]
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
% \- e) D8 Y* b5 ~+ K u2 b> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.% H5 ?( H( e! Y3 D0 ? O
> >1 I8 _: t3 a6 B J: x" J7 D
> > Compassionate Leave1 ]9 L6 y2 n8 p' Q9 w/ @, o
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing; r: y# ~/ G U) \9 a, G
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-, O6 t$ f, |* X& Z2 j- H
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
+ m$ G8 m7 m( W0 t6 Z/ u7 G* |3 {> > employees attend to the arrangements.* o5 Z& m7 `4 H: ]. U3 b
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is9 D) s4 }% `- o, e' L% q% M/ E
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the; D7 K! \% f2 n- @( p' a0 i, j
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
* V' N/ W0 s; \% c0 H> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
" z5 T$ K& u6 ~> > hour early.2 y% w9 p1 l: I& c4 g
> >) T+ R$ w9 x$ @8 J5 E( D
> > Toilet Use
& W$ l' R' D( M+ d w0 N> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
! s# j3 h1 X1 }6 L4 U$ A5 G! O( c8 s: p> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
0 a& |* \' w' U* e! K3 j> > in the cubicles.
1 b+ ~- ?) }% ?> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will# Z0 t0 ]) t7 Q
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
! S6 h6 K9 P4 f> > door will open, and your picture will be taken. P5 d* @$ c, {
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
( k% t" A* ]: \( E+ V) z> > posted on the company notice board under the; s4 ~# V' _4 C6 A$ P) E8 l
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
: A0 O( X4 c9 I" X2 u3 G; o- X> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
& M/ x/ C5 x7 \& D% @> > sanctioned under the company's mental health* U* `7 {5 |5 `
> > policy.
- i4 N2 x# T# k+ B1 O> >- l, J4 c) K% F, d# F
> > Lunch Break/ y1 d( \6 H* V
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
) g& N- ]% }; @; E& u5 Q0 x$ p8 @> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
) i& I/ q1 n* Z9 m. `> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
1 c& [8 V# o; u& H3 |* g> > maintain their average figure.
1 J1 n6 T2 Y6 f; W> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
. i. m3 N; D' ]> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
. O8 }6 ^; U, v) ]4 m0 Z> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
$ Z, {1 x4 z+ o3 h6 V7 h2 v> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive+ t: s* \5 n* o! w6 c9 l- l
> > employment experience.
+ S0 t% e1 y' ]- g5 p> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,7 `3 X/ K* k" g1 Y6 E
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
' @% Z) F9 w3 o2 G1 k7 s+ M> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
8 T! f- ], x3 s> > directed elsewhere. |
|
