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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
& Q3 x5 a9 P# n1 j# k. F> > Effective January 2007
3 f1 P6 o. b: D5 d# `> >2 I$ s/ R, k4 r @2 r$ v1 @& U
> > Dress Code
% @* q& o2 y6 @& P& N: h6 v) ?- m> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
* X: X6 p+ F- N. U7 I( ] K> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing4 X4 c7 d& X S f+ K! s2 p. p3 {
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume; l) a8 M# Z- v3 o3 H
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not* E& m0 W0 A* A# ^7 q, n
> > need a pay raise.
! {% q6 I$ d7 a3 L H+ ?2 u0 o> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage" W: `- J5 w4 [1 g* w* }8 k
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer4 U8 `8 v" f2 h5 u" ~
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
: c, T4 V& A7 B6 f8 X4 a) o> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
" Y2 r, F) Y- B8 G6 l0 J% c& f4 U1 C> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay7 @4 f4 t6 O3 G p9 p1 C
> > raise.
& R1 t( {( `6 b0 K3 L4 H- ^> >
* v4 x9 W- N. J# A6 N _> > Sick Days
" P; y, ?% t5 i7 `. |> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
' _! L" j/ d* v- q9 x4 y> > proof of sickness.
7 X) Z3 ]9 A8 Q& [> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able' X+ g4 b d( o* V4 Y" y
> > to come to work.2 S) |; M8 x* u" M
> >
1 ^8 e& G8 e' D# d# X> > Holiday Days( X1 i' r% W \. d
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a& O. N, A( J; |8 U
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.. B# k s" \ M7 x
> >6 h8 G- X) } R; o1 ~+ J
> > Compassionate Leave% u" r; [+ q: v' t% n
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
! K, o/ i( v" X$ T) D' Y> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
5 k& w; @1 K) D- {; V8 A0 y> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-$ }7 ^4 p- l" y
> > employees attend to the arrangements.! A8 D3 |6 @+ _
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is& }2 \- K/ E3 N) K# @$ A" _- o# D
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the1 O" @1 V. b" `. w# e, `- Y1 K
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
9 E4 Q$ Z- e( R- X' C. k" N> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one$ L6 o# m( l7 o! B. p
> > hour early.
9 Y4 Y* i+ c& Q3 Y! m2 l; v: `> >
+ ~6 U+ s3 s8 t( E! o# x! N> > Toilet Use- {, ^4 P1 G, S: E& x
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the" W) e7 [, n8 x/ Z7 w- p* N7 b
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
2 q% \) X- E3 D' Y$ D/ D4 g8 X5 [3 l- i> > in the cubicles.
' U8 W' s1 s* {( R' ^/ `4 ]> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will+ ?# X) p, m, @) d& Q+ l! ~3 \
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
5 j# \" m& N a* ]> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.; K( C$ k4 J+ [
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
! k- S+ G9 Y' P" T( t( J> > posted on the company notice board under the' e: s- L( E" O2 G$ f4 g3 } h
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.( W4 z o7 b: q" N1 |
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be, X! y+ R- t- D# g: q
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health- _$ ?/ D) F; t9 {" Q @1 b* D
> > policy." U) a4 z' Z* I# D" x
> >
0 ?5 Y% M$ Q: I/ y> > Lunch Break2 N" A1 R+ s1 ?
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
P2 }0 g4 M6 p7 M1 v> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy., H& r. }, Y! H2 Y& V, S$ f$ A
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to. N6 k; C. f; [8 I4 r- t
> > maintain their average figure.- F0 o+ V, C+ o& k
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
2 @+ D0 g/ M4 T$ G6 Q' V> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.7 h" r2 X/ i; s* y) s) l
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are l, M X4 @' p* I5 v9 f
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive S. k% D6 Z: W$ \6 v; Z
> > employment experience.( V! w: Y+ x8 t2 H2 ]# E
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
" n$ q5 H7 V* f6 v> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,8 A( S" ?( R9 S' W) s3 e
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be0 j/ {: w, ~5 n* n
> > directed elsewhere. |
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