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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
* M) ?: C1 W& A% {9 E- T7 S> > Effective January 2007
" b/ Q# S, ?0 k7 i, }) |# x, A s# Q> >; b: C! I- P( [; u# r
> > Dress Code
2 ~, B% [; V8 s" O4 m ]4 Y> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
5 i0 a6 n9 ^+ Z9 U2 O> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing: R* s' ]3 b, N/ v% Y3 P
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
# _/ i2 {- V; a> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not' L5 ]7 g& [% U, J0 N2 T% D
> > need a pay raise.2 \0 S; b, W: \7 s$ R
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage. }# q0 F/ g( B% E
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer! L. R1 s# b5 x' z
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
: J( m1 e3 P4 Z" t" E- J" h% |> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you% E% }: O( C+ H4 c4 j# ?
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay. {# K( f! n" T* r9 a) W2 Q8 G& A5 _
> > raise.
$ w) c, k3 T/ y+ v1 N% R" F1 z> >
3 V4 F8 a* J0 h# h5 O. N> > Sick Days
$ @; Y5 F" d5 I, L0 k' W> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
; W# g: E& c5 t> > proof of sickness.
" B# q+ N: {" L* Y> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able) [. w7 R( J$ U) V4 R
> > to come to work.
9 ?1 h. [ i; ?0 K7 V, W& @; O9 L> >
; F& r& p: _7 J+ x8 s> > Holiday Days# f5 Y7 ]& @" s; t- X6 Q
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a4 Z* k* [. h# ]) I) y' i/ a X
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.& M9 o6 p! Y8 [4 c0 j6 p
> >
0 g; q0 C3 D9 z6 c: c" p> > Compassionate Leave
2 o h+ b! R2 a, s1 u X> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing" G/ \* ^, D2 A/ k) `5 ?2 g0 E1 Q
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
* @' b' G& [& K; H> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-+ `5 M6 @# R$ T' v$ Z$ l
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
/ {% |) W4 f9 P7 v( W# d> > In rare cases where employee involvement is$ Y4 c0 ], H/ `% m
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
$ c# k4 g, R3 @, a: |> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work/ K$ n* F: ^% k' ?% M; a
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one8 X, M0 |. _/ D+ G
> > hour early.
# d% C3 `! H9 @9 _> >
) J' l% @: D O( x, `1 U> > Toilet Use% F% Q4 T* B$ s$ M
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the `5 j% x* G1 s; M
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
! |/ D9 \' k0 ]. a [> > in the cubicles.
/ B1 d7 k6 l* W" f( H> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
, q$ K1 O/ m" Z) S- _> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle7 o3 ~) ^ A( {3 y* C7 \3 l! E3 A+ I
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
4 Y( \" @# J( @4 ]% H> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be' h& l9 q7 I H. ~
> > posted on the company notice board under the
3 a* U7 J L- ]1 t: y+ S> > "Chronic Offenders" category.- s: U, M/ r/ Y1 v+ C: w
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be: W: F! S9 t0 ^' Y
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health8 Y5 g0 Q# O) q
> > policy.
, q, g6 P$ x) ]( s> >
5 t: M w! {6 X6 e4 a6 k* K9 ?> > Lunch Break2 e! ?. H3 Y% y) X; V
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
, M- p0 a" s1 \9 z% ~% n> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
1 p" ~- u- |8 p8 M( Y> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to: o. r0 G9 ~( d3 c: Q$ s& h5 W! z/ x
> > maintain their average figure.
& ]; ^ g7 e# p) ]7 H) _/ j> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time6 D+ n# P- I( n/ {$ h6 @6 Z+ Q. v/ y
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
# v* t; F: w8 G& Z> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
6 s" Q1 N; K# t1 }# H0 x2 f> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive# r/ r! E: p# P, R/ ~3 k' }
> > employment experience.
" M( r' f% z. ]> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,9 e9 k: x- R4 u& u
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,* |2 f/ t6 Y; W
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
/ z# }! p; V u$ }1 }> > directed elsewhere. |
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