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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:2 ]3 @5 h/ r1 H* T& |
> > Effective January 2007
* h1 r+ L2 I! |! `# \2 ~> >
% X M3 d3 Y" r3 x3 [" o> > Dress Code4 U9 L* q8 S8 z6 z; a, { [
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed( f2 Y; M% J) y I. H5 Q7 `
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing& s8 g6 m; \3 I' P, d4 L
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
6 K3 v8 o% y5 R3 q8 y> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
9 r4 h# ^8 }' x9 e% m> > need a pay raise.1 }5 ]/ ]9 {0 ?- |- Y" F
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
4 y# ?# L, U+ _( f9 h4 i> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer1 b: g" |8 U! C, F/ H7 ^# M
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
9 a) I3 L. {+ K% {% w% }> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you4 P/ D7 h. E- H& U4 w
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
) ~- u) p T% O( [ f3 _2 l& v> > raise.
y" k" p! ^5 r2 a6 V+ q* n# Y6 O> >
7 X. A8 }, S( p* M> > Sick Days* C' f$ @& U" I8 f- c$ S
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
* m; U8 n3 o" A> > proof of sickness.% n& d+ X+ \, s% v2 ?
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
: e$ Y% @7 q! {9 D% e' N' U> > to come to work.% ?- w6 t& L9 ?" J2 R; V
> >
" D& E3 H1 @8 N> > Holiday Days
" r, m$ b: d- ^& X> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
6 r0 f# y6 @& a1 a/ h" Y; D> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
+ O: K2 {& w9 m4 M$ _- w4 }8 r! `/ v> >& h% o7 g# N) |2 l2 {6 |6 H! G
> > Compassionate Leave2 q U5 t2 x7 |1 Y) _" c# a! S
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
, S- @3 y- e7 t2 w> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
0 W( P, e6 M- B$ A; ^* a> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
5 i& P0 n( L# c7 E7 i9 v# c> > employees attend to the arrangements.
- b. O1 o; c2 e; |! Z> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
/ Z, B G. w$ j: F& s> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
# m5 R+ x) j2 U' o. v2 t1 q( u' x> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
; _) l% F0 [0 X" X- [> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one. A- N- b# t, L, B7 H( d
> > hour early.! ]$ B- d0 W d" w5 U7 ]
> >
( ^+ ^% X7 F! d) m6 J) v0 X. v> > Toilet Use
; {8 u4 Q& Z7 H& z! a3 H% w5 O9 [> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
! i: \( a1 G3 q# \! B n3 f> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
. V5 o. _5 x3 X. s4 m! G> > in the cubicles.' l* I7 e0 q2 v
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
?$ `9 r k9 R# U4 U; I( J> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle5 Z5 P6 r( f, i8 N! k; P9 p
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
1 X Z$ T6 n3 g6 o8 O6 h$ B/ c1 z> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be5 G! f# O# m1 X& ?$ O" }, p
> > posted on the company notice board under the/ v! m: V# m8 j( p' H& f* Q; W! R& v
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
; f; _! ]1 o# E7 A* z* f& q> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
8 X' k3 J M% o) N' l8 ~> > sanctioned under the company's mental health: W- m, F8 g7 s# ?2 f1 D7 o
> > policy.
. P' z* A3 i- r7 W1 O> >4 S: }* s/ w/ g
> > Lunch Break
; H* V- K( A3 |3 V% _: H: ]> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they0 b* ]" n* a' F/ r
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.7 c- E4 _0 [% D4 E- [
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to" n# m- u- M- Q' I% \! T9 U
> > maintain their average figure.6 X: a/ x5 m4 @9 y) l- F
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time9 B& O4 E* O* s2 }0 p( u
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.7 c2 v( d h4 `' T4 A5 M/ K
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
# p% H7 n, E/ f: |" j> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive5 K7 y4 e' i- P
> > employment experience.6 f8 b4 z3 V8 q; B5 x2 H
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
. [- g- N8 I0 b% u1 A. p/ [, c: m; U> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
' n# {9 c8 w' H7 R% O: C0 U> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
. w' [5 n7 X3 G9 I7 t e> > directed elsewhere. |
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