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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:0 e6 f% e6 ?0 c% w% \) o
> > Effective January 2007( ^( s: o7 p0 `' k v
> >0 H& u, K1 |0 g2 f- T- E) O# h
> > Dress Code
1 g1 r7 y6 }' e" T> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
8 R( ]: Q+ }" @4 J m3 [" E> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing5 x! ?# h: T8 S5 u
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume* \' [+ S' C" o( G9 h! ]+ h
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
6 J* ]% M( W) ^2 p: ~> > need a pay raise.
0 r/ ]) o% C% ?- U4 [ p. @> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
$ O ^2 `( q* ]" c& r> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer3 ], B* q' Z) v5 w/ c% V: p
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
0 x7 i0 g, s: T! W* q/ B9 O> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you2 x# j- ~( F# J
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay* K: M# `1 q, Y: s; J. Q. {- Z
> > raise.; d( F1 W8 M K* L% Z
> >
9 I' F/ ^+ v, n) W L& z> > Sick Days7 J+ _- S O2 }% H1 q
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as0 i/ q' j4 p w1 w& C
> > proof of sickness.
) D2 b6 M2 F" i, w. k; W5 K> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
: D* L: Y+ B+ i, o> > to come to work.
* C+ `* x; [5 @- _> >0 A% H" m& r% |4 i
> > Holiday Days
* _% N8 H3 S/ i5 @* o3 b> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
& t, g( P6 j2 S: W* k> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.1 {% U3 M: J# h4 u* [5 D
> >
/ |: {( Y6 C0 Z! d4 p& F( e0 c% |> > Compassionate Leave
: B4 G9 i+ u+ p6 z. p> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing5 o" Z; _$ g. R- x- x, H
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
6 `! q, e* f1 }5 X/ q> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
: U# ]$ u8 F6 J Z9 j> > employees attend to the arrangements.
; N" f0 N ], k6 D( o> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
1 O6 `( t4 \6 F- a' |( p6 a> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the& J# q' N) M' C
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
1 v1 f3 x# Q0 O* j6 l( C+ t> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
3 G& E0 ^! d) V& m8 J9 N> > hour early.+ |* X) @- W* _6 z W
> >
; _" c& n. Q% w0 ^: u) T( y> > Toilet Use! C! a9 r' p/ a: c6 x
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the* F4 \0 L- G3 c% O# s
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit* I6 c" l* G& ^, Q& k2 A
> > in the cubicles.
( [8 T% V, |& p! l> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will; D3 w+ e ^% Q4 K! w" M: S' o
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
; G. W0 o# P4 B" Z) Z: s8 {> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.8 [' F$ G. J) x* h# {3 c
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
7 X. u8 ^! `( D% F> > posted on the company notice board under the
8 v* X- T5 ^2 L2 x7 o9 j; K* K> > "Chronic Offenders" category.5 i: c( F4 ^1 t
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
$ i) g* @& [# F) T5 o* B& [# \, O> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
2 e- O, {; c- {: H9 X( {> > policy.# m- \6 j! F5 d0 W0 ?3 h: R
> >4 D0 b& f* \ X, e* f
> > Lunch Break
/ H/ l6 d( @- m2 J8 G# n6 \5 v# q> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they, T6 |7 i" y; _5 Q5 W! m
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.. M# g1 Q2 c2 ?, N( ?! {% B
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to3 L: Z i5 z+ R Z& {% T
> > maintain their average figure.$ q9 F* e3 V( |- b1 ]* C# q
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
t" ]* D o" `. [, o. ?+ n; h> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.( l3 y F: H c, R+ B1 ~; e% E
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are# o. R: k- D! [3 z
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
: _" U4 K2 Z4 C9 f* R* s3 i> > employment experience.; S5 v6 L4 Z& |
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,) F! \" o1 ~9 O1 X+ c& w3 i3 p
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
$ w6 ~" I0 [2 L$ t( P" W9 S, g+ l> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
$ `0 N k$ ]1 S9 x6 e! n6 ]> > directed elsewhere. |
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