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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:9 W/ D" E7 E, A3 X* O2 ^ g9 Y
> > Effective January 2007) L% e: ^3 a6 O; P- ~, a' e" `
> >
* o' K' v6 |9 k- p6 Q6 U, H( T- M> > Dress Code
$ N0 A% x9 I: p+ f> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed: }9 {# r% g! L) @' @: N; q
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
! Z* s' M( f& j& x> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
/ ]6 G0 J# _' i) |! u4 F4 B5 b0 [> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not( U, K* }* Z2 K9 K4 v
> > need a pay raise.0 Q3 _% d0 H* M! a8 |' z% v2 h
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage+ V/ S. W2 m. Q* D
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
( `7 K) `) {6 Q0 a; G" A4 ^> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
/ A/ o; H4 M" _* O. _6 N) H8 d> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you$ ?, p$ P( @; S8 O- h2 ~+ e0 c
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay* F0 Z3 D5 H( R3 [
> > raise.+ P( h3 \8 y& P# z( D# m, R
> >
% P) o4 J: n* r4 K> > Sick Days3 e) d. o8 c( L8 G& |4 L
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as6 m6 H; H2 r9 _7 |5 ?
> > proof of sickness.
5 H! }% B* z1 X; w> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
+ b( F' l+ A" |" y; l5 y> > to come to work.8 \$ n8 x+ @ r% [/ G( B
> >( L4 x) N4 _5 {3 i" J: x6 D
> > Holiday Days
, j$ t+ `2 s L- S> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a" B0 h8 k) r# A a- g3 c
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.; C& U. k' ]4 b
> >
+ Z& O' d& F0 R: m$ U4 W> > Compassionate Leave
+ V8 b( D& l& }. v> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing) j) W k2 c& g4 ?
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
% H; K. ?: Z2 k' T" y> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
3 R# D7 @1 {& _; }- m9 Z/ O> > employees attend to the arrangements.( W, |( E! c) L; ^# V
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
. H- y; Y6 d3 j9 _% k. n> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
0 B: v9 g# o& W W6 P. K> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work. V2 p9 a/ O& ^0 h0 e+ c! Y
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
3 m1 c T; e1 T; n m8 d> > hour early.
/ u1 A1 E4 P/ C5 V7 A> >6 d& u! q! c" r) d% ^; S* g E
> > Toilet Use
. f a3 ~+ \2 z: ]. v/ j7 P> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the2 q8 b" X$ d% f+ \! o8 P1 i. D
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
8 E2 m6 J0 m. @3 A; E> > in the cubicles.
, u" P) p; X/ C6 B3 g) }4 T: t> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will% Q& E0 n) T" a! f& L/ T# D3 g( Z
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle! f; u8 C. w" h Z* j Z5 F
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
" ~; x" d7 a/ w* d: b7 D> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
: `9 t) X7 z3 a: e8 E5 f> > posted on the company notice board under the
' b- D3 o6 t* w c u b8 \8 B> > "Chronic Offenders" category.. c$ {7 c, C) w# b; W+ t
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be; L# E5 e( C5 G/ c
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health/ d+ A+ ]4 H& {* ]) k
> > policy.) E4 f; M0 s9 M# n9 R8 x; R; O! x& `
> >
5 v1 f' _ [1 Z8 S8 `" E> > Lunch Break: T5 Z% d( P+ j2 z: H, J
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they+ b2 {/ l9 L" W" X! z6 B8 e2 w3 ?
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy./ f* u; R7 w* s' U7 R
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
$ ~& ?/ n1 P: |/ R1 c! g) \> > maintain their average figure.
, l# T! Y7 c2 B7 u+ u> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time4 R6 a. w$ y* B- b& O
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
& S! i5 @' j6 ^- R> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
4 F/ v# Y$ v( [. _5 G5 g2 |> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive Z l% V4 K( V1 k
> > employment experience.
3 M( x1 }- K q0 }. ^6 d8 ~9 @> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,4 d8 u9 \; b2 e! S# N5 x
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,- Q$ ]* j2 m, n; r. Q
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
% `2 `( m4 p* l1 s- M> > directed elsewhere. |
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