|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:2 W% h; A! S# A" r8 d1 V
> > Effective January 2007/ g* _: ~) [- t" ^
> >
$ D1 i4 K- H9 B4 x5 l> > Dress Code
2 t, F( T* u7 C8 @( s> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed0 C4 h4 R9 c* H7 S: G: B
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing9 }% x4 _0 L" o6 r" R
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume7 X% }: S3 ^1 G1 g; J& ^+ K
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
3 c# Q0 x- v- Z6 y/ j> > need a pay raise.
6 m c& I+ x6 }# I3 B> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
6 h& F5 m3 b% K- w! S8 z, ~> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer4 w% L' K; ~0 G; K. ~ {+ H- h" _8 @
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.' n/ F# o0 j' f/ A. O; O8 \. c' n
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
& O) k9 f0 A+ R( B; {' y* U> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay- R3 a( O8 J' ?! T
> > raise.! I5 E9 z* v; a- ~+ A) U
> >' e8 C0 X1 K7 N c* V; F1 A5 t. E6 M) l9 \
> > Sick Days; B! @9 Z# [. P/ f
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as' R# }( k2 ], Y: f3 C
> > proof of sickness.
4 \* D9 g( S; f> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
+ r8 R+ `! |" r& z: Q/ h> > to come to work.9 i B4 B* \+ C7 r
> >' r7 z; f& s5 O6 A: F6 L
> > Holiday Days s0 G8 L; r" s
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a" \- R+ Q! O% q2 G# h& R: e
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
/ m9 r4 G) M! b8 x3 j) t% c) l/ o> >) H+ o, r) R7 q3 J/ \6 \4 }! `
> > Compassionate Leave9 W. Q1 l% r' @# P& P" K4 _
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing6 m1 s& T' V9 O c3 a" G
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-% ]2 K. U+ o' r7 f) u
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-* Y7 n3 z# N+ L4 `
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
) ^7 c8 ]5 k7 z* I> > In rare cases where employee involvement is- J& D4 [- H9 m3 H& i' }
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
1 D+ }; K' M$ @> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work) W% j# j+ `) s# \& J. K
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
6 S( r" C( F8 u5 X, }! \1 ]> > hour early.
( M/ ?+ r ?* ~" q+ g> >
' {5 }# l! t# P8 ~4 H' x> > Toilet Use
9 A) ] v" A8 o5 n, S% W> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the8 k5 i2 m# i, q# z
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
! U8 u0 p# a5 u: ~/ l> > in the cubicles.6 P* H* k# B9 w4 b9 V3 G; @5 X$ A
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
$ S* {, }; t2 j4 P( M. J0 x> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle" e6 n' }* Y L% ^/ p
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.. [( q6 t2 ?& B
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
% |3 \; Y0 b- j5 v& a8 ~> > posted on the company notice board under the
2 h( @' I5 M8 Y7 x" `> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
l4 g3 T; D0 L; E* H9 c: q6 y0 n) m> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be1 \- U1 e# ]" D5 R3 L2 }
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health' `* V# H) |7 j7 r, e/ h
> > policy.
' G7 K& S0 O2 P' j2 l> >
" A/ X$ k1 B9 d' G8 G5 L" u> > Lunch Break- w$ a" w( x# ]; t( ^" _ D! X
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they0 e+ m7 _9 w" D3 K& n# O7 C
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
; I! y& U+ [4 u- i% u* A! c" t$ _> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to- p S& C1 U* n5 A4 { _. ~, z/ Z/ n
> > maintain their average figure./ ?3 p! x( V/ g- q- x X
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time% X$ g1 \% Y) v- I4 F; A* w" Q
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.' b- t7 i j( @
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are ~4 Q1 x' S3 Z8 X/ D
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
8 q+ [3 o* a0 w M> > employment experience.9 m% X) c6 J& I/ M. |
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,2 x% Y' a8 Q- z; _' v
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,( j; @* x, R3 ^
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
7 u" X* r1 T2 N> > directed elsewhere. |
|
