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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
5 j6 L: Q7 o$ k7 b: W2 G> > Effective January 20079 `2 S( \2 W0 N; ]
> >
7 X; R& D* {: n0 K# w. e- F# P> > Dress Code
# _' w$ q- _- p- g, |& r> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
, b4 k6 W% u' O7 O2 D7 f> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
$ O* B: i2 M( \7 `4 l. f; X> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
S: q# t9 c; W7 W6 ]# g* j9 q2 T> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
( d5 Y/ x3 K) u; x& _3 c- g> > need a pay raise.' L; Y" o8 i- D; i* L& @
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage: y/ G1 h- R+ h8 j. M
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer* p( E+ q* \& w
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise., \9 H- I4 y- ^& I
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
) P2 ]3 O1 e2 |; x2 u, d2 O> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay' H L% u5 A: ^' y2 L
> > raise.
1 r" h( G+ ]) V" L) q! ]2 o> >+ N7 P/ L y: C0 i6 B$ n( U
> > Sick Days3 \+ M) V) U, q3 o* B3 J. L
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
- O4 A" h! W A8 f7 Y# U> > proof of sickness.( a& Z: G3 h* G [7 s# O9 M: M
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able' u9 H: O7 ]* D
> > to come to work.
# v$ `- f7 ~! k> >! x! j& u7 d+ B4 h0 \5 B' X/ o# Y: c
> > Holiday Days
$ u0 \; W2 \& @: D' ^> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
% G8 N: R8 j( }# _0 [* z4 s> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.+ d! ]' Q' u, ?2 ]; [ J9 m
> >
1 M. I+ j, ]% F- i4 k$ l! G. Z> > Compassionate Leave3 t$ ?' l: t$ e" ~: u
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
# C5 s0 a: p) A, @- m/ K> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-0 H2 \4 Z1 g* a- Y3 @" h) ^
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
+ u" V6 r7 M! P0 |# y. {> > employees attend to the arrangements.
, E1 F1 J& R) O. `* M> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
0 q3 i# l& P u: H> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the" e3 S' d% m) Q1 Y0 V' s: r
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
, p. D1 c: h: T) o& k> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one2 E; U$ ~$ V' b" O A' a* N4 j5 z+ B
> > hour early.
5 L3 {- }+ ^; x& d+ ^: q> >
: G; `; \+ P1 ~/ i/ z> > Toilet Use
9 Q5 X' c( ~1 t7 E# X6 c> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
% _& p" i5 ~5 j" c# m8 W2 t. E> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
3 l! `8 B3 a& s7 v. E> > in the cubicles.: j$ B+ o, f3 Q1 A
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
J" }' ^# [! r2 y> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle& R5 y- f" s$ P. L1 g- z: N6 V T
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
" e& g1 N# V* {% E! H7 l> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
1 R' S" Q) K2 m: p> > posted on the company notice board under the
" f' O- \' u& T- F& Q5 L E, W: i& j> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
9 o$ @5 x) e0 x5 D/ \) m0 n> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be: R- _6 q& z$ f
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
% b$ j# m. Y( {: e6 o> > policy.
7 O/ Z3 b: {! K7 V> >
% ~% t/ a( P4 X: Y> > Lunch Break9 E* i; @3 q3 x
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they8 y7 J4 m4 A _' p6 ~$ {5 }6 J0 [
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
8 p. l7 M% ~, T> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to& |3 l5 F, t3 W( ` l L
> > maintain their average figure.
1 ~* G/ i, a0 C& ?# L& E) n> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
' Z# a" V) R2 O" N> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.2 Z g! ]1 K6 ]; Q) F
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are9 a7 ]+ r- b. C% v
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
* V" ? F/ o" w> > employment experience.7 G; {# d- f; u+ C
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,4 W& R( P# {: _- J( L2 b
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,2 Y2 q7 p% ~+ K3 H6 d. s
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be" `# H& g6 N- s9 n3 p+ X+ d! o, Z4 k
> > directed elsewhere. |
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