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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:) @# x9 H, v. [. H. W c: @
> > Effective January 2007
" r/ W* ]5 h. R8 _ U" i> >, G3 t% J7 ?8 o! v+ N- p' J& _
> > Dress Code, F) ]7 ]- a& Y5 l# ^( G6 w
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed' _. L9 p3 Y6 W2 [3 b( h+ O
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing& ~# e! R8 C7 N( R: p4 a
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume* ^& Z; _: B" f- o; Q
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not$ `. q3 t) {. M( o/ M
> > need a pay raise.8 h/ a/ Q* n3 [- X5 _$ E
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
/ X) _0 Q0 a& b> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer% \! L) B- |$ J& A, u8 P' M
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.4 Q0 I0 X& H: N; S
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
3 p4 T( Z0 q5 e+ j8 R, ?* v) B> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay8 A; e' |0 M6 [$ L" A! g
> > raise.
! r% ~* b$ d) t/ q$ ?& {> >+ D- ?8 v6 v1 k& A2 Z6 l
> > Sick Days
0 b+ _% {: {" o/ A1 ?/ U& f> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
0 m0 S2 c; Z: B> > proof of sickness.
$ c' p8 G# E! L: Z1 T9 Y> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able- R( _1 M7 m9 S0 c% o; {
> > to come to work.
9 o" u5 K" u; E- ^, C1 w: U> >
5 n7 m2 C- J' [> > Holiday Days6 l# I; o9 E: n# ]' R$ y( X
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
3 ^0 Y2 F; N7 N7 A" Q4 d> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.7 A, g6 x/ s: x
> >
( g6 e9 ?; ]7 x( n6 A> > Compassionate Leave
9 y. C1 I! `) T. J- M> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
1 j4 Q" m8 f# j0 k' t" q> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-0 w( q' e; W! P$ \/ X3 ~
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
& U/ y- a1 y0 t3 g> > employees attend to the arrangements.
) r" A: {6 j# B4 a- r/ F! a, n> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
: m/ A, B' v/ N* m* m> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
: ] K, f: {: J% ^5 x> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work3 C; Z8 I4 h% c. g* ]! L; p" B
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one" Z- Y6 P" ~) _) @$ ?
> > hour early.
6 g$ j g% r9 D> >
7 S) ]1 L) @) X4 b. r2 j! @* U> > Toilet Use1 A: I" B3 ^4 \ B8 C* @$ _
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
3 J8 i2 w% L3 n U# D> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit5 E/ U- s, [& O ^8 F# V
> > in the cubicles., @6 u6 @ x9 z; `! A
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will6 n2 I( ~2 K; W; Y- `5 T1 M( O
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle7 L) I* u& @# m# D6 W! t
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken./ F+ o8 n$ ~+ o! R! c
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be) T& s; N$ ]6 r5 Z5 ^
> > posted on the company notice board under the
0 l( s2 ?; o2 V> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
; j% Q/ M# l% |! }0 U7 u> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be! m- C8 v0 C# u
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health* ?8 s/ k2 g/ U3 X' E) O' `
> > policy.' L# A# Y1 q# B5 T0 U0 G+ F. {
> >
" U4 R) Q% |# G) n> > Lunch Break
. L# c; r( A* A! O* `> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
1 r% {9 q1 e( H/ g' r/ r# Z. ?$ j> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.! k7 K5 X' s/ X U0 d
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to. G. K% h6 j0 z2 |; ^; E+ H. _
> > maintain their average figure., M1 o, Q3 S, F, b, R2 K
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time, t) H9 B. [! I0 `
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
9 m/ o; i7 j' i: B9 I7 H> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
' s9 P$ y- }7 M+ R1 c, l0 R* {> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
; e2 | W8 D# f> > employment experience.* B( n# o$ l* {# Z
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,0 ~0 `6 h$ Q. V- y. l' {
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,. t1 w* x: Y* }; R9 v9 B( g
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be& D" Y* u3 _& m6 e
> > directed elsewhere. |
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