|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:
$ t0 \, ~4 G/ y$ y* w7 p> > Effective January 2007" o# B5 i: i- u: n8 v
> >7 g& q. x7 f+ `1 M7 @0 H8 q
> > Dress Code
H( J% |0 N6 f# e> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
! N" P! C$ a/ y, A( W1 c> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
* Q9 H- F' r/ t7 J+ v+ [6 t> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume& `- `6 w, a, f" ?' t0 |
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not! S; v2 _( G4 |& l: V
> > need a pay raise.
+ j6 a5 n r1 p7 R& C> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
4 Q2 P8 u* N7 J% e! O* r i* L> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
" |* m1 H i% F/ ~" K* v1 z4 r> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
6 e+ G0 n8 y+ \5 S& [> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you9 {+ U l# L2 e- H. P" w
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
) G# P1 I6 e4 C- A+ P' S+ `> > raise.( z2 n# @4 V8 V; R5 m' I
> >
, j! ?0 T8 b0 d$ a4 Q* R/ ]7 g> > Sick Days, c9 h; \0 d& x* K' A9 Q. ~
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as6 {" G' L8 O8 q* u, W8 Q
> > proof of sickness.
" N9 r- W6 b2 g1 l> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able: q. m% ]# c; I$ _1 l# _' L
> > to come to work.8 L1 r( Y r5 X8 d
> >0 z! C, R; n9 Z8 b' q6 m! @
> > Holiday Days7 W$ H! F" p+ Y$ k" t
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a: [4 g! o( ]& I5 e: E
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
. Y( {+ t$ `1 ?1 e1 U> >
3 A5 D: Z$ ^1 m" o> > Compassionate Leave
. O; {. ?2 a! r9 Z> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
" F$ y$ q, B! t, g; _! ^4 L> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
3 L% m5 N. M8 `/ q. Y( R> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
1 A7 m% ]: @1 u: v0 M8 G: D$ w> > employees attend to the arrangements.$ ^. T L' n5 O ^8 [8 O& r) H
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
" x0 u( G+ V2 l) W1 M> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
( J4 H% H7 h$ R& N> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
. g1 @8 _ P. [* I! O> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
# \3 f+ c2 p& g1 d# q4 F; z> > hour early.$ \9 i$ V. I7 j8 g6 e
> >
1 w4 ]! t* B4 q8 s% i: Z# U. k9 J> > Toilet Use
2 G2 p: i4 J" s8 F> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the: Z% S7 U% z' Z/ c1 \. F
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
" w* p ]7 X# ~7 X2 o) ^> > in the cubicles.
& d! Y: y V$ B' g* _> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
- ~% g: [3 j4 \7 z1 n6 V3 k @> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
1 D' S/ S& [3 J# {9 y> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.+ C) u! X5 y' Z$ P
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
1 p- r* v1 w# o |+ ^$ F" t$ g& L* ~( X> > posted on the company notice board under the# S+ }, ]. p: j: |+ x# B# m
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.7 b0 R" E8 Q: h' r# O
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
! D4 w/ W+ h g ^* |. D* E> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
% h7 Z, l4 |! \3 x' g, D# t> > policy.
* g* ?( |: b2 N& l7 c1 S5 @" F, Q> >
w( f& c: B0 }( U! H2 `7 i4 U4 {> > Lunch Break
* F" @" z3 b7 m: q" k$ @> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they2 m- |$ h& W3 U4 M- u4 V
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
8 g- Y% d1 ]8 {; k b. x6 U> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
; T" r& y" E; d/ \" U. J) T> > maintain their average figure., ?2 ^9 m6 t9 M4 k& K
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time; }, P+ j+ E$ s3 z5 d( y
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
9 r8 q4 U1 N' o- M" o* t; y( V> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are, r+ R1 v3 U0 G3 I7 J
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
; T7 ]; C) k! i9 A> > employment experience.
) g1 t; J' B' x* i, _> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,$ i$ ^/ f& n# O9 l4 C
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
( Z& n: N, c L1 z- }0 p+ C5 S> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
% |7 d8 O; |: p% J+ G> > directed elsewhere. |
|
