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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
, i( o& H8 R* m" H0 P1 ?" h> > Effective January 2007
" J% w% X' `8 J# h> >
& O+ G$ M2 i% b' x* {* E0 |> > Dress Code, x" s3 J& N% [0 u1 p
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed: D# I! z9 B3 y8 C8 q: B' D G4 m3 M
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
. e1 B% V5 T A% R3 l9 @: K> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume' O8 g6 y4 g/ A# B: H
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
; Z3 c0 T, @7 e- Q* T! X0 V> > need a pay raise.
- n& r/ I' U$ z; z> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
4 h0 H$ n) c' A5 x1 G> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer: K' z# }. E- L, m4 j& J
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
! {% r& W1 i1 T! i( f: S> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
4 X A8 g, }+ l( a> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay4 J4 b8 E0 N: i! E
> > raise.
# D: w# o( H2 y. r ~> >- b9 B9 ~. k, }
> > Sick Days
5 p6 ^9 |# T0 H' b# o) \9 \5 K g> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
! U# S H8 N' k4 n1 Q> > proof of sickness.3 w& \! m; r) f, i4 I. Y5 u5 |8 {
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able/ _* ~0 |( s9 Q4 ^8 s
> > to come to work.
j/ i0 J; G( A> >8 x. V2 y. r, B
> > Holiday Days
* X# G: F3 s6 J7 G/ Q> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a8 {8 [# u- t* u( b# s3 d9 P
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.$ ~2 P+ N$ Z7 J, Q1 \
> >
+ |; W6 W* s0 `$ m' _> > Compassionate Leave
; a% @& y+ H: M/ ^5 n: c" ~> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
1 j5 D O8 o. ~6 S; w6 ~0 ?> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
1 G# j: [ \5 ], D: _. _3 C. \1 z> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
1 v1 m1 _6 g0 A* `> > employees attend to the arrangements.- c6 [+ O" ?3 P
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is- A& \; X- B, m" `
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
3 \! ?2 y' d3 l. G> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work! Q1 k# L( Q! N8 }
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one3 t3 k+ n* o1 J* o0 }9 G
> > hour early.0 P! [$ v7 I1 ]* }0 l/ J
> >
6 Q) |3 V5 f I+ w( R$ y> > Toilet Use, E. `' C$ d7 ?' B: B, g" |! w
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the- J. H2 J, C( d! V% Q
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit" d% Y# U2 X1 S+ ~
> > in the cubicles.( V4 U; \5 \. Q( y& C- s4 z8 i/ Y
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will8 A, d' v4 P3 `. s% {. u
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
' ]3 L; P3 x' Y% s% S> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3 h0 I& i# f) f6 M0 h3 G> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be/ b( X B' @8 B8 v. f
> > posted on the company notice board under the
( U9 X5 O' {" f% d# U> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
5 v4 s+ p4 l5 Q& r: x# X9 T> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
' T" m8 l5 u1 L; A6 q( f% ]> > sanctioned under the company's mental health7 A; n `" M% ^6 [
> > policy.8 E9 v! Q# b9 h$ b7 v" _& s) L4 d
> >
+ I0 M" w q. J1 s4 K& I. S Y> > Lunch Break
$ v( ?7 H9 h& l! W( Q> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they! F5 |0 V9 Z% m. c5 W" b+ f; Y$ y
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
A# ?+ e. o" T1 u> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
4 E+ T; C) p: G3 W) y> > maintain their average figure.
5 i) X3 m+ U- l4 |1 |) Y+ i8 \> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time, [* L$ p/ ~& g
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
; i) K' r% x1 b' K5 u0 O3 R> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
3 G% {# X/ j- M4 M> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive: g$ `% A/ P7 i; Z+ k: Y8 Q+ M
> > employment experience.
' G% b0 d% Y/ d/ @> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,, S) d/ H! Q3 n2 m x3 h
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,! ?- V; X; u- ?+ K, D' v% o
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be6 H/ x8 a# t$ j+ I6 [' C3 ?
> > directed elsewhere. |
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