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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
8 l6 g7 r0 q( m! H1 w+ ~> > Effective January 2007
+ s L1 r( O, U. D* ^7 \! Q8 h> >$ n% U. l) O6 i* U
> > Dress Code& o6 ^- i: k, D4 t- M3 m
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
2 T1 n4 |2 ?$ i) Q5 J" D7 ^2 t> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing" U! r2 K) t, Z0 [# R
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
T" Q8 n4 i8 \* q+ Y0 |3 K$ U> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not' B5 ^/ Y R- w e
> > need a pay raise.7 `3 X& @4 U( e8 Z
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage0 u) G" b2 P6 ]9 b6 L
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
# H& m" U- E, o+ g9 i: [> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
7 c( {7 H" `8 Z; P> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you- f# h1 Z8 w" o6 }7 ?7 G. z
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
3 _) O+ [9 @9 ^: @; C m8 z( h9 s7 M> > raise.) Y0 B) b) a$ B: s! ?8 j
> >+ F! }% o j0 s# }% l
> > Sick Days
: k3 ^5 {* k$ v! R) s$ R& |& F> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as$ }; P# s5 F8 W6 C
> > proof of sickness.
; L3 L' G9 ^/ B) P2 G* s' R& [> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
{6 S. v4 a) k& ]8 O$ t> > to come to work.' U9 A& c( S5 h+ N
> >
% E* W" ~8 @0 f> > Holiday Days
& A" T0 ?/ K/ U- X; H. J> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
+ e9 S: N" n/ u1 p! V> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
( G5 B1 Y* w8 c8 J8 z1 g" r4 \4 N> >9 M( c1 j8 B3 i5 ~
> > Compassionate Leave
" e( Y! z% G2 O! }* B3 D9 a> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing5 s5 m' x% ?+ a0 C' G' q
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
, M; I# u2 P, T# A# ?> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
) [3 L# z/ ~. o$ a> > employees attend to the arrangements.
; |, [; [" L4 N6 m& A0 R> > In rare cases where employee involvement is9 G" g) e8 x/ {8 ~; Y L
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
+ I" l" P6 B1 l7 T: {> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work! p( h' A5 }+ r ]/ @" I
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one' }* P5 ?* s3 C% }/ Z; ~
> > hour early.6 C, d7 V0 k4 N9 G! G2 e
> >, R6 A( H, L4 C7 a8 J* q, w
> > Toilet Use( Y7 S O5 [' D
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
( n. ?! N5 d$ x5 c Q9 M. x: F> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
4 }! z4 S2 i1 a/ r p) ^' u( \9 `> > in the cubicles.$ `$ `7 W) {. o- A4 U
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will# `" t# h5 Q* [) p) \
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle( J0 U7 t6 _* _6 r1 }; Z2 |
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
0 o& f" P5 b$ v1 Y, R# \> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be6 p Q8 H3 G6 a. d
> > posted on the company notice board under the
" J+ n7 w4 o% ]9 L$ U' z4 j+ a* x! |> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
: U9 I2 N1 F* L* e2 |7 d9 j* l I> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be- v- K/ G, A2 |9 |; z
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
+ L+ D, Q3 `, \, Q0 F' h, J> > policy.
( ]/ g; u. b5 O# A. K3 Q# ?$ A. g+ P> >
; j' {* ~3 b( [" {9 l> > Lunch Break
6 [; A+ I {9 L3 `- w> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
" ^! ?- j" E! W4 x" S1 a8 K4 @. ~> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.8 f d* E7 m) I2 a$ t
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
/ V2 m, O; i% {4 W> > maintain their average figure.
. }4 i) K6 J5 u* I> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time, L+ I1 ]4 B, u. j( E
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.; s! U! k: ~3 s0 E) I$ {/ b& e$ I
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are2 o; Z6 z4 W9 I6 c) \
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive$ H+ }: V6 y0 K
> > employment experience.! q) a9 K" V/ S: `, r
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
/ G. D( Q. v; ]' `9 ?, o> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,' B( O F! z, o$ m8 |4 N0 j4 @
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be: V7 g& A; }, E
> > directed elsewhere. |
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