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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:& E3 z! K" J4 }
> > Effective January 2007
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; q/ {! `( T8 R$ l- P> > Dress Code
" ?. x/ y, N% w/ ?9 v) h+ O> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed, _8 ]& z: E9 q1 g
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing; Z* e* |& ?) G/ s1 i
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
2 c% z+ `, r- b( u& f> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not/ N$ n, y0 J7 F5 v
> > need a pay raise.+ U6 q# M2 f0 X; f5 Y) T
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage$ ]! [8 \( z. G; I/ a+ d4 v
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer$ }5 O. v& s1 O' V
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
& C9 U5 q) J) J: B+ F> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you3 Q* C- V' t( @7 v) X
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
0 i" n \) o# s, k5 O, d> > raise.
/ {5 U' C& S" S- Q" Z6 _) t> >
4 E3 s W: l8 [> > Sick Days
& w3 Z/ O! d4 y B/ A \> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
% t8 P R' k P# ^1 h> > proof of sickness.0 M# Z( m5 s3 t" K
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able5 v7 h) w! F' K4 v* e, N/ B
> > to come to work.
2 Q9 b+ T2 x8 i& O- t> >+ [ }5 |0 ^- B- D' O
> > Holiday Days% O" \( m) z7 T8 V8 n8 Q( l
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a1 {: Y4 ~& g c) t
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
6 j1 d) k8 g- ]* c) u2 D0 S> >) [* D1 A! Q' r; t) g: g8 Y
> > Compassionate Leave* y1 B' z7 J" p& u$ L; v
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
. ?- C U. f F8 t3 b6 s$ v0 M> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
0 I7 g) K: l4 P> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
- j. |6 |+ D- `> > employees attend to the arrangements.
]# b2 e* R1 F3 P- k> > In rare cases where employee involvement is2 |. L) o v+ _: w* P
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
: o G% L) w0 k> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
8 {' S4 f7 |1 l1 ~> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
, I2 d- A& _; S7 I2 n, {> > hour early.: j% ]* }6 C5 h1 l
> >
" N0 ^( q* K1 n/ t+ G> > Toilet Use2 i; d7 w8 i0 R3 T/ c- z& l# J, D; { y
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
' _5 Y7 U m9 r> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
4 L' i4 f' z* f> > in the cubicles.+ D; r2 H" w$ G7 {" d
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will: U9 X: N. T* S5 m, Q% w
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
5 h! O) R% f7 V$ V+ W> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.. W0 W: |( L. w; l. q1 I
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
2 `' g! I* n5 l2 F3 L/ m' g- g> > posted on the company notice board under the
7 p& Q4 L! v* }7 O6 {" |3 B, ]> > "Chronic Offenders" category.2 ?; ?9 F1 ~& K! [8 ~6 T2 R C
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be, m3 r# ^/ Q$ c& c5 Q
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
& w2 r7 S- B, h+ D8 J> > policy.
2 I) c7 k. ~4 }$ |4 e> >
; ]+ ]" s8 J9 i& r2 W9 b2 `> > Lunch Break0 W9 R* S* Z% o: T) P
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
/ g3 j/ u$ K6 z> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
. A. K) b. M. U( y. F> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to0 ~- `$ o3 \$ x1 [, Y
> > maintain their average figure.+ @0 j0 J4 S. g6 D( S" j
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
+ z; U2 E$ e" F> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.; y8 A' X9 M0 `1 D7 O
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are2 \5 d( p5 W; x& \) }, f
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive: Y1 b @; {4 }, u5 B/ \; i
> > employment experience.# V( p" b: u6 e$ E
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,9 U& A+ o; i0 s
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
8 B. L" f& D7 r# }> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
1 B5 B% m2 L+ j1 F> > directed elsewhere. |
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