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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:8 L, L7 {( l \; d
> > Effective January 2007
$ N% O' L! E- l* }8 {" j> >
$ r( u. M! u0 V$ b2 G> > Dress Code
( o. M$ M5 e+ f2 j> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
% U: ~: t8 a7 \; j# Q> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
, f- p& T a4 m> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
?* C, A; [' C9 v# U+ w0 p7 X/ X8 k8 |> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
; T& H% t* R6 N. ?/ N, Q> > need a pay raise.* l7 L# J! J" w- H& u
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
4 Q+ j- Z1 e3 K5 [2 ^6 I8 Q; z> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer8 y: J7 E* h' n# `7 e3 _
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.* x/ e# W* c4 j, @2 W
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you! O/ W+ l8 k0 \0 d2 I+ h+ j
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
2 W1 m Q r( Y& q> > raise.
* I: ^$ R& c. r+ E. t7 E> >' M% \' W- m) V# A6 a l& L
> > Sick Days
' F# m: ?# c* O) p/ H> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
1 S) }2 y$ y2 e4 ^6 l% {2 G> > proof of sickness. b2 `2 \7 t$ Z
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
3 E1 d" {" N, p; ?! {( i> > to come to work.
# @+ Q* \& X" `7 h9 _6 i> >; \( w- A0 i" C2 Y& L
> > Holiday Days
( s7 z ?8 y9 x> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a$ k7 o+ @0 ~' R) q3 b7 s$ w2 n
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.: H! o: ^3 X6 ~6 { K9 q
> >( d% `: X7 ]+ D
> > Compassionate Leave
" f) [8 X' R0 @1 Q) I7 J> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing$ ?3 M f& ?* q- U% ?* I
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
! H; g# I, v ^> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
) k, s! q5 Y7 m5 w7 U> > employees attend to the arrangements.
2 r4 v) b* _+ y5 f* N& A6 t% Y> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
2 B1 E7 f, o- r$ i: O r> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the9 l4 j3 j8 \, y. E u; `& I7 P
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
$ B! p. P+ X5 R+ A7 M> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one1 O+ z! G0 `) ?* B' R" r
> > hour early.8 A1 y3 _- D Y, b
> >6 R3 v( x8 ]; y" x
> > Toilet Use( D- m* J/ i* ^2 g4 H
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
4 x" a9 v* C( v# q: s0 ^' ~, Z- A6 W> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit5 `) W- ^8 N1 c1 O. y# Q& q1 C
> > in the cubicles.
7 d" E' m: W9 F# b> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
, `" V- Z+ Q' j+ h6 w" J> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
# u5 k: L' y, T: I9 G- D& j> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3 E" r$ M( J1 x2 v> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be5 U7 y" L% @5 I
> > posted on the company notice board under the
8 H# B5 I. c% t* {8 a0 Y> > "Chronic Offenders" category.) Z3 |. ]1 V- _! l
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
9 W; r( S7 w+ K- k: |> > sanctioned under the company's mental health" h8 R7 A& i/ J4 ]; Z% ^4 t: f
> > policy.+ k. p+ @8 I3 Y# w2 C( u( X1 @
> >
3 @+ E9 [" G# @9 O4 n> > Lunch Break% P3 }7 r* `1 n8 v+ @1 B
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they: O, S( x9 A8 s0 F2 F- x
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
( A' A. z5 T' _" M6 h7 u9 H> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to8 g( n2 L. Q2 J
> > maintain their average figure.; q/ P* {' R5 I
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time6 M3 \& l# Y$ b4 C% V- T( G3 G
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.0 N7 \8 ?5 x+ R; ]
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are! I" L+ @( r( z D0 O
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive+ q+ P. F, k! _3 I
> > employment experience.
: o* W' ~* ?* |. n, D9 @7 _> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
+ E. U. W" \1 J, K> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
- G* s7 s. N7 r1 A> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
$ s8 [( p/ y2 l8 O. t6 P> > directed elsewhere. |
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