|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:6 H( O0 K1 z# B, `
> > Effective January 20074 H: j0 Z u+ h# r/ o$ M
> >) P; g* v* J$ P, S$ C
> > Dress Code& y# x% l; ?, X3 l
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed; V1 B, G* G' U
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing# \# ^1 n+ j9 J E* a( d) T
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume2 u( y; q& v* Y! ~- E6 X
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
6 f' E: V+ ~+ @0 Q- ]1 G* F> > need a pay raise.5 X% D" `; f' r8 h: e2 E
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage4 s, p# X, ]1 K! F% P
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
# A4 u, {8 X, X E$ J# z/ o5 P> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise., {/ a! }" l) z1 @: D, K
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
R: S0 B2 Y' a* s: G" Y> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay$ f- h# Y" @9 m: E% V
> > raise.( t. o" E' ~2 b, e
> >0 r8 j# N3 {) B, s; v: N
> > Sick Days
Y- M, m4 R6 L+ M7 `1 L> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as# c6 Z7 _( t; C& W7 ^9 @$ J
> > proof of sickness.4 m+ l* w1 h) A i7 c) n7 J
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
; X9 u/ ~0 u3 K+ _> > to come to work.: b! m: T: l; L d5 h
> >
( ]- K2 U" w8 E% M! G5 i2 K> > Holiday Days" o& y& M; H; t! y0 t) P
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a1 ~. A9 x7 U0 O9 h/ `& H% }6 q, L
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
, N {: E( ~8 b+ [9 R# a> >
L7 H$ s% f' f+ z2 W A5 X> > Compassionate Leave
" {9 V) y7 G" K# H> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
1 V& W+ q7 s: Z+ X+ ^1 h> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-! D* d5 `0 K0 J; \
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
9 j4 O0 R$ ? h& D. X# x> > employees attend to the arrangements.2 U3 u" I& {% M/ ~' Q
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
C) u+ [( K2 d. W! Q> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the: J) u& e5 e3 E4 h! y0 b: L+ J3 j) |
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
7 M' j2 E+ C5 v2 S2 Z, c `( X> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
) S# p/ B! E7 x7 t7 k B% I# C> > hour early.) j4 z6 \& |5 I9 v0 o/ ?# r( x6 n9 a5 t# t
> >) P$ T0 K5 J0 p% ]6 B
> > Toilet Use
1 D$ U+ x( B6 U> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the1 [" Y' m& ^6 x7 G5 Z
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
' b7 n) {. B" r# ]5 J7 O> > in the cubicles.+ T! h9 V" |& v: J* o# T
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
; W$ j" y' Q J+ ?: [> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle% q/ ~% R! m& s$ s, R# q. S
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
" a9 [& f# R- s- R5 X> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be$ `7 F; O3 n+ p. J2 ?
> > posted on the company notice board under the6 ]; v% K2 [6 \
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
" R; h' ]4 G, v# _. I B- W0 b2 `> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be7 G* m2 N! k. s8 e
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
5 j, G1 A; r( n* q. l> > policy.
) j$ _' c0 U/ \' i/ U7 X, m4 Y> >! l6 f$ w) v$ ]& G! t' {
> > Lunch Break
7 i0 B0 ?7 `( R5 B9 i; |5 p> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
5 G; c- n, }1 G+ Z/ x$ `> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
) |- [3 X; r; f( \& V4 N> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
6 x0 T3 z, }! s7 [5 [ K> > maintain their average figure.
* a. v, i3 S# f" g7 [> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
" F3 u; g) ^ N4 ^& ]> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
( O. F8 a9 M1 A( O9 i; S> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are( N w8 o2 X3 s) f' q+ `
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive' u# r, j3 Y1 z3 m
> > employment experience.' d9 N( ]1 p3 h4 ~0 h5 B5 d- {
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
" M/ q( A5 A- m. [1 I9 ?> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
1 c0 }8 a1 v8 b4 c, [6 B' j1 s> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
# S# r" S6 }" G1 _: {3 g3 M: Y> > directed elsewhere. |
|
