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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:& W1 i: X% Y8 _; ]$ p" z0 O$ X- C! b
> > Effective January 2007& _" E1 A( z0 j
> >5 z9 p- t& j% z- A L$ t) ~8 ?( k
> > Dress Code
9 G' a5 T* h, w$ x> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
) e9 r; V5 ]& S8 l D> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing& p4 ?0 Q8 B c Y
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
- D4 p, J; i( t> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not, U- ?: F! w% v q L, B
> > need a pay raise.
! {8 M8 [ V4 r% n. w8 H> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
0 Y k J& ]( {$ r> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer( \8 u3 M+ I. V
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.* _- W7 \0 S! y) z: v
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
8 G+ m, l( f1 g& e+ O& X" h> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
; D2 p7 Y c: K+ \& H% X- v, _> > raise.
+ A' f8 [. x% g1 p4 f" m> >
8 O" W5 l- U7 U> > Sick Days
H! v1 m( p# I4 ]> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
5 v4 u3 a8 }0 R/ I+ [8 Q+ T( }> > proof of sickness.' y, H% M+ q4 K
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
$ b. c' H7 b7 z# r$ P' L> > to come to work.
4 `( e" h9 ?; o, j> >' X: c2 W& P2 _/ o, G
> > Holiday Days3 B& I: v- u; |+ o/ w& ^6 m2 v
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
. @! Q" W9 ?3 v$ V5 Q> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
, D" j8 r" C% B- @8 f3 d6 [0 `/ ]> >) ]2 q: e) `. I6 P6 }/ @4 K
> > Compassionate Leave
: k2 p7 ]7 g- C: L> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing6 d. Q3 E2 b3 g4 E8 ]; r$ a& g
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
0 Y2 @1 |! V2 u; ]+ S7 R8 B2 S> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
( [8 s$ @0 h6 `$ v> > employees attend to the arrangements.+ {/ ?7 `0 I; [
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
9 y8 [* U5 ?1 a+ T, {% l* y& `> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
9 t! I8 ^. S5 s% @5 I> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work/ K" h# H& e/ T$ ^* P. I( ?" T
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one4 A4 l- n6 U4 c
> > hour early.
, p5 }' T2 i% _> >
+ c( V+ n3 z- {% R3 _( K$ F: R7 J& x8 O> > Toilet Use( f- K5 o! S! R; [
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the& n& m, S/ F" Q |2 U# \) n' I
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
p1 F: {! k' g* D9 m, l# u+ {# I> > in the cubicles.
" d8 H. O) F# D* j> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
' U Z! k' t7 O0 r> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle# d' ~3 p# g$ ~
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
2 F' `0 n5 [1 b# e( X7 W, ^5 c> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
9 j( i" g O( k> > posted on the company notice board under the- x" I4 W- P/ P. q3 ?/ @5 l7 |. M4 ^
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.3 e. O3 P. J, J
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
5 o9 q+ a, J* I* R7 ]* K> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
0 L' e, V6 g; t; m. ^" C# k( b> > policy.4 e9 m( z3 T* }7 r
> >
+ P- x. J+ e8 ]0 y> > Lunch Break, l4 Y$ z/ ~$ M' G
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
2 X( D7 @/ Z$ r/ O7 @9 `' n> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.+ U2 s1 g3 |9 x6 k5 v* ^, S
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to7 h3 h8 l3 ?& `& r1 w- p( Z5 \" R
> > maintain their average figure.
# e: i) R9 e! ?6 h% p5 L> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
% U( L2 v1 ~9 W$ ?> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
/ q1 v1 Y; q& h- w7 T> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are& J$ l8 a% P& I9 w5 q8 F
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
; q3 d9 ? ?* Q% s& O> > employment experience.& `3 s0 f. V3 @" n7 D3 q% W8 B
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,8 Y* ?. U4 i0 v, V* [# i
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
3 r2 J5 @5 J$ f" m# a> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be# p2 j: r0 T* R* h0 L" ] s" `3 g {
> > directed elsewhere. |
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