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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
( W; K$ D2 r4 o. u' m> > Effective January 2007. {) u2 F8 R( K8 h& o6 D9 e/ n# a. c
> >
G. T& Y9 |0 m9 ]+ G& y> > Dress Code
0 q3 j& U$ G8 E4 Z) Q! V- E% H> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
8 a1 p) _- }& H. g> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing1 e$ F4 S: U9 z8 r% s6 v
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
3 V& Q8 P1 d. f( E8 w1 I3 s& Y7 A+ R! t> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
4 L" \2 r8 I. {5 K+ L> > need a pay raise.5 U1 x- X" c* ^
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage/ Z. B2 A5 C' @& N- `
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer2 [7 F0 M0 ?8 |/ s j1 F
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
' T5 W4 G# o- s. a1 l( w> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you1 Q+ z5 a3 b) ^- X* b8 T3 D
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
3 L. d; F3 N) M8 A& I, l1 E> > raise.0 M( s2 o, k5 O/ [% I z
> >
& {9 q6 m9 A' J* T> > Sick Days
1 }3 {- B9 g# M \1 K% e1 b% k> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as. f: [/ ?" x# x: u+ E% V
> > proof of sickness.
+ t4 V. o% B0 f- n, E> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able# E1 T& o# w/ }" O8 e2 q5 Z" g C
> > to come to work.* @ U" n7 i. n
> >. Y5 }6 n( T" D0 T* J
> > Holiday Days* J2 D5 ?' F; ^. A4 H$ W
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
7 V: l# g o/ d> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
* U9 X6 F3 X- Y5 i3 W/ h, l) M> >7 {' B( i0 N" n) }) G( o# o
> > Compassionate Leave
% M& J2 h' j" B3 z+ M> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing1 \; p7 J3 P) e
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
/ `9 O3 I) b) K9 ]: T/ e) |> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
0 t3 `% B8 q- H# f* ?, L> > employees attend to the arrangements.8 A5 _1 U! K) b
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is! s3 B+ L% ^: q
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
# U1 z' v# e/ N2 w" g2 ~! b* b> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
) m8 J1 q# F) h9 U3 ?( T2 e> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
5 \8 }/ \6 X9 V- G+ |> > hour early.6 y( U! h$ d! r& ~: [
> >
- }" v; W1 t2 o3 v0 g> > Toilet Use
) r* _2 _9 W+ u/ \6 \0 w> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the5 ?5 d; y% \+ I0 M" L
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
' M" F6 j4 H+ f2 B> > in the cubicles." Q+ i: V& a$ ? e
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will9 c7 e- _2 O: n+ @% L$ u
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
" B; f/ K# N* t% J' u1 T> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.$ h: W# A- o1 O8 [. s9 x4 E
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be9 z, p) |5 o% I8 D, q, _ O
> > posted on the company notice board under the
4 K# x- x, Q; g5 _1 o> > "Chronic Offenders" category.5 K. k6 ^8 r6 a. B% i( c; C
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
# w3 @0 y6 I2 N( |6 p/ e' x> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
8 R! I# d( t7 ^% I+ ^> > policy.+ g5 [4 o3 A+ M o! i2 Y
> >
8 a( Z. o. k9 H- q> > Lunch Break
+ y4 h( u0 M. ?4 L% n" r, B> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
- ~; r4 W$ O; t L> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.( Y: E8 g- A* p2 p/ T! n+ F4 s
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to' w+ i) v W6 P- v Z8 J+ q
> > maintain their average figure.1 m9 o U1 H: b0 v1 X( v, g
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time ^* W- U; F8 G' }
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.; s: ~$ e3 w5 ^6 }5 O" a
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are' P. R9 V4 P* X a+ L
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive. E; g' m; h( M+ N# {( a- N
> > employment experience.
9 M' e, F" k5 a; x7 b, l# D> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
& i% t; [ ]; Z$ K( L1 {> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
4 U$ A* I$ z/ q5 _/ G) S- Y> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be& R" z) }' Q& R" v6 F
> > directed elsewhere. |
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