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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
- v& w6 K) r1 S# T> > Effective January 2007 @. `! g$ }9 `' k
> >7 ?+ }2 o" S3 u" E- O0 Z4 v
> > Dress Code" S' v8 U9 V5 Q
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
9 d4 g% U* o+ ]. d/ S: x; V2 K> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing5 D- X, T1 i" [' Q2 @9 z' n4 ^% m! Q
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume; w( R$ t0 }# y$ ]
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not% i* k* y- S- Q
> > need a pay raise.
2 m$ N7 L' D* t0 j> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
# k" L5 X* a& {+ H% u D! H; Z> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer1 N- K: a+ E- _& \, l( N
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise., }6 |9 H, C. n. D; F8 \# W) I
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
* m& P! f9 u' i, p* r- {0 S> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay' N7 Q3 }9 v1 e# e" d3 f% i6 {) x
> > raise.4 k* r6 g- e. g5 p0 x, U
> >) R) y* Z! C0 d: _
> > Sick Days6 h8 x& r' ]' i7 }
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
8 `! ~; C$ Z4 K6 v) Q" L> > proof of sickness." e- Y2 c6 x* Y6 }
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able9 k, h& ^8 m N5 l" V2 M: y
> > to come to work.
0 R3 r( C$ ^/ Y( g c0 M; [> >/ s7 v$ I& ~, |1 u
> > Holiday Days
9 i/ `& s: r$ m: ^> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
0 g$ d4 {! N$ o+ Y. c> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
1 x8 f/ o! R# j> >, R9 |2 w' H, |
> > Compassionate Leave
) T! N( x+ v' {% {$ ~> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
: b: ~& x! x8 ]> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-: y( ]- d" x7 Y. d5 V0 b
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
8 x9 h1 z1 E; C( g> > employees attend to the arrangements.
; |5 c: @+ Y, E- w( Q/ K> > In rare cases where employee involvement is/ P& I- J5 t# i% u: u1 O
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the0 n& m7 x, z6 T$ k
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work- z9 z# G H- F0 j' d5 t
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one6 A0 y/ h8 y$ v* \
> > hour early. J( J) n5 Y C9 q/ u
> >' A# B, ]8 E" r7 v: n5 z4 Z
> > Toilet Use
' x7 b) P" }( v; j. H$ b7 Q& M! [> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the1 C8 V+ w: V, }6 e1 c
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit$ x) B& r7 g$ c* \7 t7 y3 F$ ]- W' P
> > in the cubicles.+ g2 J) w) Q9 a+ f' _: p
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will/ T: s N# C3 e ]( p( F' |
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
- Z! {: R7 ], T4 h5 H1 ~/ `7 R6 N> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
- d0 C6 ?7 Q; ]: O" P9 p> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be% B2 k+ K/ z) Q1 W# l% J4 g& I9 e. U
> > posted on the company notice board under the4 d- z, N7 k! G' e( i) F
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.# M5 r3 a% j1 G' a5 i9 |
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be& j3 a/ f. T' w$ |
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health: g% K! i7 P$ G1 T, ?2 W
> > policy.
* p; w( d" C- P' d" t* }1 l/ |& Y' n8 r> >
3 t) U; B( Y, ?3 f; p+ A8 m- @, c, U> > Lunch Break
' o; F% e% Y _> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
; w+ O7 J' V2 i/ K> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.( m* Y0 m( P0 P6 W8 c; c/ @& y
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to& W, K. \5 i3 Q0 ?/ W! h, Q1 R# n
> > maintain their average figure.5 ]3 O' v: ^$ ^% W' ~
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time0 \( l6 D( j. q
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.$ W3 `0 {. }) W; A
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are( P& }# W. b( A8 E
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive' }( G: u$ _8 i* P
> > employment experience.
; s# O% h$ M- M> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints," |! ]9 y; e( e1 L U! k
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
: t* Y1 Y1 l. n, B# Y {0 z4 | s% h> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
6 F. |% u S! o5 {> > directed elsewhere. |
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