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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:! m* K1 p! E6 ?; Q) h( U' {/ e# L7 ]
> > Effective January 2007
# y0 Y& j5 d3 v' M1 U/ _" ~" h% t- Y> >
' P8 K D; I6 e& _+ \' Q> > Dress Code
& H& J3 a% k3 k> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed, b4 X( K+ ^8 L: n/ Q, G* g4 w
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
: {1 r* H* U8 F( x: L5 ]" y$ @> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
+ E+ O/ A5 j. Z/ y> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not+ y# {8 ~& r+ _5 u0 q
> > need a pay raise.- h9 g7 d0 [1 \
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
) j. y( F/ e$ o/ U& k& _> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer7 \* _; z3 H; |, H% O
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.+ u" ` B5 T8 O) k9 ?% @
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you6 m# Q2 z6 B: j& ]% M
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
) n" F# i5 \8 B! k1 M$ I> > raise.9 G; J" \! {7 h
> >/ ~" R0 `( a0 s+ K' a( W1 j
> > Sick Days
6 E+ o' G& ^" c% b ^> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
* i* F. r0 c2 q/ u2 a2 X> > proof of sickness.
1 U. V \6 U5 G4 I; y5 t. L> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able% L6 O' I/ \& q6 N! B. @
> > to come to work.
, b; h! V3 y6 u- u* S Z> >* Z. @. h) [, ^$ y+ _
> > Holiday Days3 {6 J5 t9 Q& i, T% H
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a4 q# j, s5 f c) n9 p8 `: c |
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.8 z8 n- W: M) `% `" _# s
> >
; I% ^2 t; e/ p+ W& N! C9 y/ q8 n' E> > Compassionate Leave
6 G) a) W2 ~0 e6 s> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
* a% l* L7 a0 y3 X% C1 F> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
9 [5 @) r9 u0 L+ m> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-: e+ r; n) j7 L& E
> > employees attend to the arrangements." u- u( K# A- e; |& x
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is# n( u7 L9 O& [
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
( X$ ]% h# d0 F0 j6 _5 V* w8 z> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work) R& d2 G3 ~7 P& U7 y7 G7 H
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
/ r+ \6 [+ {9 C& E0 i( V> > hour early. \/ X' m1 P3 r1 @5 A4 Q+ a
> > Y6 u7 c9 v1 R* h2 W7 d
> > Toilet Use
2 P9 U) ?' k. h! v8 e# e. N> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
& n4 k' r7 w' A9 h$ i; V> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
' M2 C1 r9 z6 f. R6 U9 X> > in the cubicles.+ q3 @5 j1 v; _7 W+ {, w
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
, q9 E" v, J! [9 _> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
* q0 k! A/ r5 q5 [4 d# j! S: g: T> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.9 H& w# l- l2 M/ Z6 k! b0 X" d
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
: L% w: ^8 V& r7 @0 f0 G5 e> > posted on the company notice board under the1 L/ h: X. l G1 H
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.# f- ?" X* {, ~
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be0 w: [! Q& X0 E, g1 g# }& W4 D
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
* a& p; P6 |, W: u: X }> > policy.
6 ^# N2 B7 K' K6 x> >0 h1 N( W9 E4 j4 h1 J/ R
> > Lunch Break* }% x# Q8 |' ~
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
! Y! a6 k: x8 c4 o> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.+ q" E9 w+ o$ u7 N) U, A0 A" O
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to' p! s: P% S+ M$ s# P: [ ^
> > maintain their average figure.
7 s. a; }2 {6 m7 F( i> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
$ v% F6 \- D7 m. J> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.5 W3 _ P& D2 [8 L" F
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
, J- \/ [! _% ?7 p2 V> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive; J+ d4 `( I+ Q1 K% m: T
> > employment experience.6 d' ~ o; c" B! H/ l0 Q
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,% ^& ]/ Q' X: A" a1 e! X1 q
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,9 N$ c& H P3 q# o4 X
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
- _5 w; ]) g% Q% j% h3 G' J> > directed elsewhere. |
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