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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:9 d/ X2 P9 \- D7 q
> > Effective January 20073 Y* a: [6 C: K
> >
' f# y) A: w/ W1 J. V% X, E> > Dress Code
6 q* I; v, s: H e> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed. V: J% ? a1 @
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing# _3 `. ?! ^# _! n% U
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume- M; o% s! m4 m
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not# {- @% e& S, z+ m4 A* A) K) p, a2 Y
> > need a pay raise.
1 X, q" |" S7 R! n> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage5 G& h& V4 F5 V' T H x, [8 q
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
/ j6 t+ Q, T: o% z2 |7 i( M> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise., o8 u- b2 j/ P L1 Z# G
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you0 p5 }! F, r/ X: M8 x
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
( M; Z1 Y/ |* _7 E> > raise.
5 |0 r! M1 q4 A) P> >
( h+ N4 |% M, a( n# V( z5 @> > Sick Days, F. V) h, w8 X0 T* h
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as9 R3 ?1 r% I' L, g! D
> > proof of sickness.; |/ i- p, Q3 f* N% d
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
5 c) q' }6 u& X" E( [> > to come to work.
| P" G; _4 z% U6 m> > l7 K/ w @% y: M0 t+ r7 X
> > Holiday Days
2 o2 t* m. A. v m4 M, e; x> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a- E0 M, b4 z; B, w6 p9 Z
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
8 A: d/ V& b" u4 d% ~$ ~> >
0 T: u0 i3 O% F, z8 X> > Compassionate Leave V# p# z4 ^7 @9 Y, E( z; ?. n
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing5 d% E# l; L0 J0 _. D2 Y5 A
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-4 j% u6 Q2 B. S* \
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
2 j/ y0 Z2 [" H: _; ]> > employees attend to the arrangements.8 `( m# q( F. B2 ~) K/ d
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
0 q; e# C" \0 Q8 x! e> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
p+ G7 `: u/ G5 \0 O! k* h" ]> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work% q& l; _' T( y& p# U
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one* V( c6 M" [, @
> > hour early.
# ]5 i" u9 t: D> >6 A: e6 `+ g3 D& w
> > Toilet Use
' w$ F6 g7 D: J- a> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
8 `% l1 U1 P: C' P4 R! s4 d, l> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
. z' K0 y9 h' q& i' O> > in the cubicles.
4 w, d/ c j" [, k1 D> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will7 T- n: s2 G; x- W: F
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle! x+ \( Y& [/ x% X( d! a
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.0 x' a/ i: B* ~, {8 N
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be, J6 g% p; y- r. l
> > posted on the company notice board under the' f% d5 |5 u7 b5 @% _9 b
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.! q! C* u# Q! T" F* G# p9 k
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
9 g6 c& {! `; N% O |; a- {, ]> > sanctioned under the company's mental health0 g) G! J& O# @6 }% X" |
> > policy.7 R6 ?; ~: J9 d7 N; G+ }: A/ \, q8 T
> >
# d5 n8 l5 J, a( ]' w2 Q> > Lunch Break* }5 D1 b: _7 ]( l" n
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
; ~9 `& z/ n5 K> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.* q& Q2 x, D4 A
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to# C9 H1 g( N& K0 ]; U
> > maintain their average figure.( D, e, L" a3 ]: g! W: u0 }
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
J" J7 O/ i8 ~& t B4 ?" x> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
' I9 u. B4 t( j6 o* q> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
1 m# {+ G3 C3 A" x) Y> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
& P j& s& m% q! h1 _1 |> > employment experience./ a c1 u! u; E0 |! q5 z( E' q
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
3 ?$ g7 c* E! {1 Y( N( P> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,7 W& A( a* c9 E4 v+ q/ V* ]
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
5 x: K8 _9 J7 A4 ^> > directed elsewhere. |
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