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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
+ d; I: M( {5 Z4 g> > Effective January 2007
( ]$ Z" Z( c, y8 y8 L1 L> >" I! u9 Z# U2 V# O# V) Q
> > Dress Code3 ?0 i1 F0 t& f Y3 e0 J- A
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed1 i% p0 j0 b) `+ t$ n
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
4 H$ l9 Z8 w# V! j; W> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume; t( g5 k' ^8 z# x
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
; D0 A9 ]; [6 P" C+ G9 i( f$ i7 q8 D> > need a pay raise.
3 R- V/ B2 C I0 M6 H) R> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage, ^5 o+ u) r4 j, }
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer, _! Y' [$ k2 \
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.) X; o3 ~* ~% ]: N% {/ H
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
$ w! H0 Z9 V2 O8 L; W5 {- c> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
( H/ ~4 k7 ]8 Y7 i" B> > raise.
4 Z7 s8 M5 ^! |& G9 E" w> >
* m% ?3 {; Y2 a5 ?8 u> > Sick Days2 H5 l+ _' {( H; \. w P# [1 q
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as$ q; c Z; Z1 m5 G. ?
> > proof of sickness.; B& u! I( H `5 m3 m2 z% _$ a/ l' R" c
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able/ |& w4 w' r9 X+ X; ?
> > to come to work.
, l* S W+ K& W4 P# G> >. i9 A T# R2 Y1 p
> > Holiday Days
4 u3 i a& q/ `> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
% u9 u4 f0 S0 o$ u. x Z6 z; ?> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
, _+ b; m/ E+ x/ x- }3 B& \% u> >+ t1 ?" s0 o# J7 G
> > Compassionate Leave
1 V% V4 n- E; ^5 S0 `> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing1 J, [* `* q* k% {
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
+ w( r+ j3 e' j& T& p% M, M> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-9 u. N/ ^% s$ q3 U
> > employees attend to the arrangements./ C- m3 a5 {% r# ~( `3 X
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is e6 W1 ?, n7 k2 u
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the4 I# j( E' C/ Q# e/ i; g- Z
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work, w! a6 ]" O6 s' i
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
+ S8 p, B" O* j. @) s m> > hour early.
/ c& @/ t+ d) c$ O> >
: j9 W* [9 E1 v. L* U# h> > Toilet Use
4 W3 D+ O; b, v) J% X> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
# V+ c- ^* _( F8 Y% f> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit7 W8 l( s) w* I9 c5 p w
> > in the cubicles.
q P4 s. @+ E2 F! G4 A> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
. X3 c, _, ^- h0 K2 T2 q$ z> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle' @2 `6 |* r! [! F, V) f2 s1 i- F! {
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
$ U. j4 ?/ d$ h$ T! z& ^" [2 d8 z> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be0 B" {, t( P3 @9 @# a5 }
> > posted on the company notice board under the
) W5 t7 i; L8 N( U+ s> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
/ Q. I: W8 i3 V) B' J6 Y" u l> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be4 N, Z! {% }- n, X% T" R E
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health$ Q+ }* U5 [6 U) j# u
> > policy.* F9 `' q& Z5 q5 D& L V
> >- t2 s o; S1 \7 S, O2 p- R4 p
> > Lunch Break
, l* V( b+ B9 Y# X> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they# P* O1 o$ c! e! I5 }/ n
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.' u4 m( a5 {4 M7 M9 t. W" ]& b
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
, w$ w. h4 o: J> > maintain their average figure.
( B6 Q+ C" ~+ b/ j& [7 G> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time- ?+ `% s3 s4 i5 w! }3 F" b% r n( n
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.: J3 }8 e2 F2 `$ t6 D/ _7 a
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are5 Q" C! V5 t. Z8 d% n' y
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
% t! v) T, G& r2 R; ?> > employment experience.
( J; t5 Q+ |. b! w% B> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
* U; s( F# o( u" r> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,, y8 y$ T3 j/ G+ |
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
^ [# s1 ]+ @9 w x> > directed elsewhere. |
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