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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
7 Q# S4 q- S7 s% k% q> > Effective January 2007
! M( a1 S# d. ~% I9 ^8 m> >
; L- p7 j/ H" }7 H k7 _> > Dress Code
+ d9 y8 v2 ]" y9 m2 O* R> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed( r. Y% z$ b2 h' ]% `9 Q. W
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing$ _5 Q, q6 `! W4 [1 s$ q$ l1 j
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
& g; b5 v4 u% F+ U4 p$ N% ]( }/ p4 B> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not$ H! x0 @7 X3 a- j3 Z
> > need a pay raise.9 G; r8 L, e) b; k5 c. g
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
- I& M- \+ V' i+ @. R, y" H0 {5 Z6 Y> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
7 V5 s P: b) ^* Q' _# o4 P; N: g> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.) ?4 R0 \! H: c7 D: J2 ]
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you H a: h' K! D& e7 l/ E: P1 z1 ` G" B8 `
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
# @6 H( A7 [2 X% h* o* s; V> > raise.
9 s: ]. L7 d2 Y% [1 E8 S2 `# g> >
+ O1 S7 F& |0 u/ ~$ p4 f" L> > Sick Days, M8 y3 X( E) K& E6 j2 G6 Q' R
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as/ ]! {5 J* ~5 f- a- f
> > proof of sickness.
# A J7 [. y- I; x) ?( K> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
3 |/ `( o% J* b2 A> > to come to work.
: @9 r0 [+ |/ {. F( }5 k> >
: O6 Y7 S- p, s3 c' G> > Holiday Days
' M: f# x4 S W& _> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a+ ^6 I/ ^8 P5 h
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.1 F6 H7 r5 y+ ` o
> >
' U" Q* E1 k o2 W/ l0 P F" z* A> > Compassionate Leave1 |/ |8 \3 q$ s2 w5 {2 A) L
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing0 B& _$ @8 c, S+ _5 B
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
1 p8 q: h$ `0 [+ c> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
3 O. h4 X2 o& m/ a! e- n d- C) [/ C> > employees attend to the arrangements.
$ {+ |- V: G; H0 Q( x4 ^2 P. p> > In rare cases where employee involvement is7 S5 ~1 i8 G: z" m G: q
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the4 J/ o* ?7 c$ N, @
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work& c' Y0 Z) q4 X- j+ h
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one l" n0 P3 Y p7 P8 I5 M
> > hour early.( g) N N) C' f& ]4 g* J
> >6 f$ I* s% H2 X$ e; e
> > Toilet Use, ?. r5 H$ r! m9 }3 ?
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the8 ?: B0 t* y7 X. |
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
+ b( A8 ~; e( l4 j# b! T0 _1 n. \, K> > in the cubicles.; S3 W/ X- ~+ [9 @$ h X
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
1 y* U7 ^. M0 r. c" S0 m> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
! d5 H8 r4 N% \> > door will open, and your picture will be taken./ T! }/ {% G4 _. }
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
1 t R0 j6 V; n6 d> > posted on the company notice board under the1 \3 w9 g: B; G4 K
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.. E- A9 C+ I( W( ?+ t( y
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be5 m# f, H+ o3 Q: Z( b* e3 X/ t
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
. _1 f& N( z; m6 T/ L> > policy. e @- \3 @0 h9 m9 n. {7 V
> >
7 O2 S Q" O6 `4 H+ Q> > Lunch Break
& _% P5 d$ j- Y% k. e+ F: J4 S> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they& G) v- U# \7 M9 e
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
) H( n9 R z+ _, c1 C: |$ w0 L( ]% N/ a- X> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
' b: d5 r& E. I( a% s( p> > maintain their average figure.
/ J: y6 h; d8 W% a9 X- u> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
; [2 I4 A" o m K> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.' C' p$ l& B3 d3 p( g3 j9 A
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are4 k4 A( K7 e( Z J: h% M" d
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
8 W6 H* S; L4 }3 i. S$ T7 x& x; P0 k> > employment experience.; R' e$ `5 |5 |/ e
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,4 w" z8 O. L f( g
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
+ @9 v. K/ w& J$ m> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
7 y9 J: i6 p9 `! Y; o> > directed elsewhere. |
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