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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
$ P. J7 o& L) q; ~5 u( j* R> > Effective January 2007
! S; B( u6 b, f> >7 b6 @+ b" V( I& O
> > Dress Code# u% x. [$ p1 G) D6 t8 q* K
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed( P j0 X6 C( W# Q; T; l; L( @
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing! l+ C& \9 p1 a9 O5 {8 u2 c( q
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
* ^& q+ n5 ?4 s- z6 ]> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not7 |: t4 |' b6 A
> > need a pay raise.
* n6 y/ F! x* w& j> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage+ t; m* f* L5 f# W: B, w
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer* q$ j1 K0 Z' b4 y' B+ D7 @" b: a) @
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise., v( S# f! X! h2 h; M
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you$ E( N2 l2 \+ ^/ Y9 `- F
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay$ Y5 P8 z% N0 h; N& }, t8 O) X
> > raise.
& q3 _3 V R3 Q' M5 d Q> >$ K4 ~+ L1 V- E: t& z
> > Sick Days
- N0 |0 \0 e. W6 `/ ^> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
& y) i B4 P* X- S; D$ t# i> > proof of sickness.
1 |+ ^1 }/ u) l y4 C4 G6 P# ]> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able; E, y4 l0 |" N# f- v6 F
> > to come to work." r# |4 z) F, a: S: f( z- ^
> >
! j3 p* A* |" |3 l2 _* m% L> > Holiday Days
1 [3 F( q- ^8 Y, c> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a! L% ^2 c5 o( d" o4 ~5 U
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.. [% R a- N! Z( w. j9 N
> >8 l; O3 m2 T) g8 X
> > Compassionate Leave" d% U2 P- v" o5 E; o: C
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
$ |( S, {2 n4 S# C+ q> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-0 _6 h$ V1 L' l/ u- t& g5 J
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-- G- p2 k. S. x# `
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
. V$ i# V4 Q C5 R$ m. t> > In rare cases where employee involvement is0 E7 ]8 r( `9 i4 o) M0 X# X
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the( Z8 `. e5 n( H! _2 O
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
3 Y+ s3 P$ h( ^, ~! P/ s> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one# C2 R4 T( q6 `% y5 x
> > hour early.
- o V! o% ]8 m> >
1 V" x; y' T j: `! Y$ V9 M- p1 O> > Toilet Use g6 J! u, L( ?' W! X t) y1 X
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the/ z. E8 a7 M8 J! n* s' I, g
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit. W% m9 N/ Y' g2 P) `6 [
> > in the cubicles.
; a/ j$ E9 e# f" g' f1 M2 ]2 j> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will9 X: b7 F" B# W1 f p8 d% L
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle% |/ x& F8 \' |; R
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
; K) q; h) m. _> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be+ x6 ^! ~3 _# O- j2 l, x1 m
> > posted on the company notice board under the
2 ]* z3 X4 ?8 g( ?> > "Chronic Offenders" category.' A$ [, V" L n: A
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be2 O/ T4 d) @* F _/ Z* W `- W
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health* b2 d" E1 q! T- @: {9 \
> > policy.
6 {6 k# Y* z2 n; p5 _> >! @1 f6 h( G; z( b: o
> > Lunch Break7 H$ S5 B5 K8 U/ X* N
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they, j, K! M6 i; t. l. r+ g
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
, ?) R5 K5 f& P; p> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to* Z- i( l* R5 k& v
> > maintain their average figure.
7 ]0 B& i$ F3 A+ s# w4 N0 i> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
+ X& ?: U5 b5 o0 q> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.0 }" g9 V& A3 s5 o: t6 Y7 w
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are: K- |7 a3 w3 K) p- x
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive9 e# s0 y# O0 X7 {0 U
> > employment experience.6 \. v, G% g X7 D) T
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
8 u1 g! Z, b0 A0 N3 F> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
% K3 P4 W1 c: p7 K3 Q> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be* D: D& g& } {
> > directed elsewhere. |
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