|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:: {8 T5 {, ~+ p. }$ Q; f+ F! w
> > Effective January 2007
6 N8 w/ }1 u( U: u> >- c0 N0 Y0 ], i+ o, P: A" @; e
> > Dress Code
; S9 _3 f+ G5 d" h: S9 N1 E> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
2 E2 S+ f$ Z: n5 |1 `# B> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing* C7 E' ^+ p" q
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume; c. d( ] p4 F" z9 m- d
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not! z) ^8 ?. p( z8 g* }
> > need a pay raise.
/ t* r, a' ?- k: q6 i> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
3 K6 z7 U$ E5 t% i( ^( S$ I> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer4 O- J8 V0 Q# S. ]
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
9 x2 }) ~* w$ f$ a1 |; T# i6 a/ f> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you, `3 d1 \$ N8 E4 j* K8 [
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
3 _# q- H. ?& Z4 Q0 l> > raise.- _ E% i8 ]0 @- t9 y" _
> >' O0 ?& _) A& p3 Z7 D+ `
> > Sick Days: V {3 [# ]/ ]1 W
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as# S: m' ?" u/ Y5 N
> > proof of sickness.8 @" q: g& q- ^
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able- G; Z# S: l3 a) t* L$ d7 X0 d
> > to come to work.
3 j5 s5 O, e; s# a9 e% ~5 O, k> >- b) `9 A% [4 R H# D6 i W
> > Holiday Days3 j1 K5 w9 J) Q# M0 U
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
. Q1 L- y; D. E6 P. ? F> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
8 J Z% P* {1 i> >- [/ f6 E) f- k8 [/ w: t( B+ _. @
> > Compassionate Leave
% r5 n" `! l- ]$ c1 a P3 v> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
& K$ o9 e" @. o" {- i> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
6 q4 B* _/ w J* w> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-8 l+ X3 W2 S `' u" P: L5 a7 g @
> > employees attend to the arrangements.9 G' A3 u, q4 a
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
5 a7 k# {3 H0 C1 E: J) ?$ T> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
7 ]+ s3 P8 h, B, u1 q> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
( k" O3 c* V6 w5 ?! R6 h> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one8 { A' e: f% _
> > hour early.4 e7 |0 M1 D4 Q) J; E" H! M3 a
> >& b w+ W& f' t! C% I' y
> > Toilet Use0 y, A" V g8 X' ?
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
6 M' `( U/ ]! J5 M> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit d# ?* D) ~ a2 E; b1 c
> > in the cubicles.) a$ q1 |, m: h! J* U
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
! U9 u6 _5 X u% ]( l' n8 \> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle( B, q$ t) J1 n8 @) ^
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
4 U% `" @, D" ?> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be, F& M" Z3 W/ z9 e
> > posted on the company notice board under the2 C Q6 p G! e9 l5 o5 ~7 ~
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.' q. P2 W( |% b2 w# D
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be$ U# n9 {9 s7 d8 u
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health& [! z: X( o, z5 R1 A2 L
> > policy.
5 M' i: b2 ], A5 K> >
2 Q: `- l7 l* R j( g) ^/ Q' r> > Lunch Break
. R Z2 W) f _> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
/ ?% v; K, `4 g4 a" h. V0 p> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
; R& c( z: Y$ j: f) r> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
" e; Y% |3 j/ u$ M> > maintain their average figure.
, f' _9 g/ \+ x( m5 p' [> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time! S* x9 e0 d2 `& u
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
" C8 @( Y4 f& W3 m2 I; r- Q( n% }> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
# A- w6 _: I; h h> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
' s! p. l C* U" T> > employment experience.
8 u% C p. F8 ^6 u8 h> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
- D( I/ I$ v1 E# [& y> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
# `( L5 o0 r( E" T7 r. U> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be; c! @: ?* k8 y% a
> > directed elsewhere. |
|
