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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
6 h* q: x' H! y1 C> > Effective January 2007# P" F4 p" ] g' w3 t5 s3 \
> >0 S$ q) Z1 I4 D3 Y1 j
> > Dress Code* C+ u% c5 |3 f0 V' ~, ` t
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
+ }1 T0 d+ T# \& ?' q4 _4 ~! }> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing$ P* ^+ G% C. t+ g7 x% o
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume% b" v h6 L0 D( ^* b* p
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
& B" l. g# [* b& y. D) i% m' y4 T> > need a pay raise.' [$ P: t0 G- x) R/ F9 `
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage0 Z) O" u% p( W2 F
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer5 b0 [5 T9 H8 M q1 `" u1 F! V& l/ g
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
" x3 W6 f$ l/ t K3 j1 T/ a> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
9 P2 r. G' Z9 i: U/ t# ]1 U7 s5 N/ h3 Z> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
& p6 ]+ t$ F( }9 f w> > raise.
% U7 Y, Q$ @5 B( r> >6 }" K5 Q" K* E; f
> > Sick Days
+ Q+ @% A4 H8 {* v> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
( _9 V8 S6 d2 E: Q- p1 ?+ c5 v> > proof of sickness.# e3 @' ]- w: y' ?& M! R Z4 a
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
2 I" R& X7 P) C# \$ T+ K4 c> > to come to work.
. b, U5 T9 }# B( o# C& }> >. q4 @5 y) `7 W- ]2 @
> > Holiday Days+ k0 m" }/ S9 ]5 T6 t6 F+ i$ t
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a3 E9 R) l: I$ `" B
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.6 b% }4 s! g0 O% X$ n; s( [
> >
" H9 ]5 W5 p" @9 A. E9 A> > Compassionate Leave0 f; J" R3 ]( l* s4 I9 b% f
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
, p# @4 V5 m* ^: d0 U7 Z/ P> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
" e, i+ e9 x% k {- |> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-: I/ T7 e, _, l' ?
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
+ _* F) y3 _& k. B( G- q> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
! S/ E! r9 F. L- Z% F" `> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
' ~6 J/ W! T- R: P d# t> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work* I2 z- t S2 ^
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one4 v# ]6 S6 A1 m" t: R0 y+ X. |
> > hour early.! s4 f* `) |" L b7 f
> >3 j4 c$ B4 z2 Q; G7 [1 |
> > Toilet Use
* t Y0 Q& O, V1 X5 ?> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
' S! g- O4 m/ u) u4 B* g4 }* v2 ^> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
% x* l% f" H2 E* G4 T" R9 _2 G; K> > in the cubicles.
, O9 Q# e5 r% O- U- h" q3 V> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
" R! V) x0 }8 f8 d> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
* V. `1 I. z" S2 n# X( \> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.+ c1 j; S& F. t* Z8 q
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
: F: U8 c! m# c2 I5 Z9 @7 n* N> > posted on the company notice board under the
; g6 g4 D: X- `+ O) X5 p) h1 y- f8 j# ?& u> > "Chronic Offenders" category. D3 G+ H3 m0 }+ g; s
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be" e! C9 n0 j, x
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
% G9 J3 ^0 {8 @9 c" [9 C7 k. ~> > policy.1 W5 Y) w$ e$ I: a3 C) A
> >
& e# q) D, E* h> > Lunch Break0 H" P& z7 P4 N- `6 k9 p
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
; i' v* w# x' _+ |, o8 Q> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.; ?' W8 ~2 V& ~- V
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to& W8 G8 p3 K. G
> > maintain their average figure.2 Y5 [- }$ k: f# I$ e0 U
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
6 {3 }/ g* q/ T5 V z* [; h7 R> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
* R/ \( `3 ^# C, g> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
0 C: g2 Q1 W" x: Q! l> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
- |: C4 {- f+ i" v* s0 J> > employment experience.
- X& n. x; r9 d' g/ V8 C1 [, V) `> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
2 T' ]- T3 q3 J8 q, ]6 [> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,6 h1 y5 ~ T$ ^- h( ~
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
# l$ }! N! ]: m0 C, {> > directed elsewhere. |
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