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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
0 n/ z4 K. _% ?> > Effective January 2007# o0 D* b' R# U) G0 s
> >: G. i% Y# R- T5 z
> > Dress Code
; f5 Q- k9 P& o2 ?. }> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
/ Z0 V3 ^& N8 N5 g. F/ y> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing$ V- P9 l1 I' E+ s" r. N c4 v" k
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
- X2 o, `/ M2 i' H, D> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not& m- H# p( x& f: q
> > need a pay raise.! \- H/ }2 c6 ~" \# M; C
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage4 b- z; R6 C z6 D: ^
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
$ H7 v2 s7 @( g2 e* U7 m> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.' A1 _- P4 S- f& U
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
9 G& L9 r$ f& v8 ?) y> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay5 Y. f% K6 Q( C1 ]$ b
> > raise.
$ R( ^' d6 }1 b6 d$ w> >
& U- `5 P8 F% v3 J6 [1 A" b> > Sick Days" M8 S6 @$ W4 M
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
" D& a" F) d% v0 {! b4 Y> > proof of sickness.' e% X G3 O1 s3 R a C
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able3 ~# N6 y* ^6 l4 D% W; F& z
> > to come to work.
2 ^ _' C }3 \# e( t> >4 x0 O h1 [7 l& S2 q3 v& O
> > Holiday Days
: j0 ^8 f# q2 x3 p+ `! _> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a/ y, L$ p" @, d: F& R% ^3 ]
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
9 a) p/ h+ ]- T, E P6 w4 x8 {> >6 {% [: k4 t# Q# A" r+ Y
> > Compassionate Leave6 w- r. r- g. W5 s5 F
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing0 l- @4 B) z- X: w( y% {( n0 }
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
/ E# T8 S" S. J* K: O! `> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
6 Z$ d4 G; a9 M' q. K5 |> > employees attend to the arrangements.
3 T/ M# H: C& W/ I D% |( C( L* P> > In rare cases where employee involvement is+ n: J2 S+ O' P# M N o
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
( K! q' Q z& P m, g1 w# }' [2 M& a> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work4 }& ^/ D5 _! `- [ B3 B
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one2 Q; u- r/ ^7 S3 N6 s
> > hour early.
9 N1 p, A4 \) f1 @ |7 }8 ?> >! L+ v3 f6 y2 r4 Z/ }# t
> > Toilet Use5 T1 h' n( b" L
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the; {( i' _5 _" G' a; B. V
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
6 E7 E$ j2 x' E( w, Z> > in the cubicles.
, b# ~( l# ^4 \0 N5 D2 [> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will8 N8 L# h& w+ I* e3 s
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
4 S' |+ E" J& l9 M F- e& Q' @> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
; s5 H5 A2 p+ f# z) a% y3 E> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
- V/ [- ~( a. c( X4 m, S# {3 e> > posted on the company notice board under the
2 z1 w# f. o0 Z- x2 O% L> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
. U! b5 E+ q) S* k- Y: s) X> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
/ K- A0 @" s' `! W8 \$ O+ o/ b> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
# O8 I% l7 W' {8 n$ p5 r" i> > policy.5 g2 x6 R1 j: B: x. h
> >
: u( `( I& r4 J> > Lunch Break9 A. {9 s/ n7 `, Y$ E4 O9 h! p
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
. e3 s/ R* d( H; G9 A7 E, y1 L> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
3 _/ _- Z" R" f> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to+ ], c0 r, @# O5 x8 x+ A
> > maintain their average figure.
$ [5 z M" l; Q! S" y" U> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
" _. w; U) Z. U( `% r: G> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast." p- }+ U8 O x3 I0 X- r2 t
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are3 K, d a' x5 M" x
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
0 ~# w( C) N* a( R- h: \> > employment experience.. r- Z! d2 T: L+ L0 P
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,3 ?, I# E9 }0 G# o4 w5 h, S' R
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,5 W* W9 z. o' n% K
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be# J* u5 ^, [9 {1 _) a
> > directed elsewhere. |
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