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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
, }' k1 x* K$ b S$ n& q> > Effective January 2007, V+ L' g/ ?# ^' b9 \( P9 Z, D4 i
> >
- J. e! s! f! Z8 L, `: q+ H7 h> > Dress Code
* `' m" C* w" w5 r% \" }> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed1 c+ v# W% U m; f- e1 G# z
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing; @4 N% R6 h! `
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume9 e: s2 @0 m9 u
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not, ~8 N; M6 J% J3 P& O, t$ j' T
> > need a pay raise.; c) T" [; c3 t
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage* T0 y% L( b0 _1 d
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
9 ~2 U3 r6 r) a7 M$ o> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
9 z7 U- P0 C% S, q2 Q> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you6 r: e, g9 ~7 n7 J
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay" _: Z% @$ X# H6 J% l* i( i
> > raise.$ M' h1 a' V) j
> >
+ _( Z8 i5 W. L1 w. P> > Sick Days
. z/ K5 @# Z0 y/ T p> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as6 X" x3 i N$ J9 V
> > proof of sickness.
) R2 s- i3 ^1 p* K/ ? J$ T> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able* n( d" Y1 @9 }0 \: y$ U3 T: {
> > to come to work.. [% V) i1 y6 Q: u2 ?
> >1 }' w0 X0 a3 e# R! [9 C4 ~ j' y
> > Holiday Days1 v) y. p& C U! |' C! T
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
! `5 n# q; i& b1 l> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.' p- U$ q4 y8 y
> >
) N1 P$ }7 T9 S* }) r, Z& @> > Compassionate Leave
6 H! v" B9 d1 v8 V) v> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
' q" I8 K5 d. _( ?> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-" u ^1 f W. h) B7 g0 U* n
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-* D% f& k% M& P
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
+ f. S. I& N, R$ B3 p# \! m& I> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
' f4 x" D6 t0 K N: H+ I> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the* \4 {7 a+ E4 c& \: o" p* i" r' Q7 G
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work9 D9 C3 S4 h- w, K' B& z
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
9 o7 R3 `1 b4 ] t+ ]/ [> > hour early.; U7 ?, E5 E' @% |" o
> >
; t4 ~0 z$ S! G( w> > Toilet Use8 ^ P9 E* v1 ~2 T
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the7 E* o" o2 m) ]* Y, X
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit3 j& e/ t% h0 i% h3 t
> > in the cubicles.
& t! X' c3 k+ p3 ~; P" k) l! p> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will8 y, u- M- Z3 k/ T& C2 p6 r
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
" h9 G3 r5 U/ J. s8 M( M> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
: h4 A, ?8 H2 e: [2 l' T> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
& T# ^/ |! _- L" i9 _$ p> > posted on the company notice board under the' t6 }2 h+ q9 p/ {# }* f9 n
> > "Chronic Offenders" category./ J: W' D3 s6 g; A( W- U, h% B
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be3 Q/ G( c$ i ]6 v5 s
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health2 `% A6 c. Y, s0 F3 G
> > policy./ G* a/ Q; \" _9 n% S& R
> >- }4 e" |- t$ m
> > Lunch Break5 @0 C6 i7 O1 w5 v) [
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they5 T2 J9 s8 ^% S4 w6 }! \
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.5 Z. `8 N+ c& n. i1 N
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to# r' V6 L- u3 q- s# p0 q
> > maintain their average figure.
& |& @7 {8 ]) d& A' I: z: r/ J> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time4 c6 h: p) z# `9 D
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
N) m' B5 J- P) R> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are t* }; D S; \ w- S/ i
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive+ B5 q- e$ q! Q$ T$ }$ ~1 e
> > employment experience.
) R i% q; `' d. }* q/ v> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
3 V+ q+ r2 t; T* Q! Y> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
% @$ J5 V9 z8 o. u> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be& f8 Y1 Z* h; {- X+ }6 N5 }1 F
> > directed elsewhere. |
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