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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
* o0 H- D3 @& n1 H$ P4 b* P+ f> > Effective January 2007
3 w* |& @* D$ h2 z> >. C% r: p" S+ b
> > Dress Code
9 Z6 S5 X* T' c* ?) B* D" w> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
4 H% e# K6 X9 F& a: l> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing- d* ^( j1 J6 M- K( N
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
8 V# e8 Z* m: y, }" ~> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not- s% K# E! O) V' e, b2 D) x t
> > need a pay raise.
( s' ]- O' W% z& u& t> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
- r$ w* v V9 C/ h: }> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
) E* Y7 M' \; a" K$ l0 L5 b1 l0 P> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.+ y) d; Z! _ o, `3 l M
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
2 b- @# Y2 F: q: C R* D, M# A> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay5 H+ n0 k1 X9 p1 b8 m
> > raise.
& |1 {% v; g7 x. k> >
4 D) k- Z; m# R& v> > Sick Days- m; G0 ]) t6 f* Q+ ^* {0 u3 e9 G
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as$ z3 o4 n' \) C* A& k
> > proof of sickness.
. _. o* U$ c' O5 U> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able9 W) t3 D' s# T( T8 i/ l) x# ~
> > to come to work.
# U* T+ e8 V% h- A/ o> >
- r) `% S- x" o; u/ @2 v> > Holiday Days$ M$ V R/ J" ^+ Y5 }
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a9 g- U# E$ G j' @1 W$ S
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.5 S1 T; K7 N0 D9 s8 W9 N, {
> >" Q. f1 H. S* e2 l2 K
> > Compassionate Leave& d7 ~4 Z# v* t, k4 F" D
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing# [- H4 ]3 ^) d( C- w# H- `
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-8 P" a, r% @( i1 J
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
# f* G+ L: M$ `. H0 s g0 B3 ]> > employees attend to the arrangements.
9 M- B7 X$ {2 H$ [, N0 A7 k5 E> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
; V2 r, X3 Z2 O% `/ e$ j5 h) E9 j> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
1 L# |, F Y( ?# @5 Z> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
! A: w) q& }4 q+ D# w> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one) A: i, i2 X; J2 C1 @
> > hour early.& [1 I, y/ e3 R4 F
> >: |$ D1 t$ C0 ?
> > Toilet Use
, ^, V: O* ^0 U- s+ r& G( d' T> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
7 z: ^4 ?; H; `& k) f8 z }> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit# q* H+ K8 c# R9 U1 g6 m
> > in the cubicles.
/ V o6 N7 P( M> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will6 F) T9 I3 ]6 g7 K/ c+ N
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
$ ^: k3 n$ L, B& P4 b3 n, `> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
+ M# X8 P/ @' u& j7 z> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be* g8 o) w; c7 B4 B0 @6 _3 {
> > posted on the company notice board under the
& B# c% k; T7 w> > "Chronic Offenders" category.) h2 X7 [+ k5 \4 D; R3 U2 b
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be) n# x' E3 O; A# o# K3 B' n$ G
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health% P8 x& |5 x, a0 W1 {
> > policy.$ L) D% A: n X! [8 _# N3 z' F; c
> >1 x; u9 |. ^6 J4 B, }
> > Lunch Break
- N+ x6 G5 b4 H3 V M) Y> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
0 }8 c4 P0 l4 y2 b) b; N5 i> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.0 Z8 L. T* A) X& A( M2 H4 j
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to# O4 E, }8 d3 y9 e
> > maintain their average figure.
; }' U1 U! w6 x) c, z9 f$ x) Z> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
+ e& }( O4 w* z$ u" l+ h> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
9 G# c! P. G; N7 v> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are2 f# b- d7 L) m `
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
0 O8 `6 A- L4 \+ t1 p9 }> > employment experience.
* c+ p+ m2 n1 Y+ E9 g$ |5 W/ ~% v- A> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
}; m: I/ \; O/ s: Z: |, S> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, P% q0 o. ?2 A" I, d- U$ q
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
* K: [6 ~- X: J, h) N: b7 |> > directed elsewhere. |
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