|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:' C i: N c1 c; w& p |
> > Effective January 2007
! ~8 I" B9 R! S0 K: o- d) G> >) Q$ O* A3 s6 y$ i' F
> > Dress Code
$ v6 W+ z' T) j- V% W> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed( W0 E0 v' ^+ R$ B& `2 c
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing1 A8 ?+ C: K; b+ l# Q+ F
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
- A3 t5 u/ }! P+ F- }& B> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
8 r! c% E* H! D: q/ X- Z9 w> > need a pay raise.) U! |# Z# K4 c( y! l6 `
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage& {( j6 p0 N, o! x1 Y: z1 M i
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer* j0 L: C- {/ S
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
7 {/ G7 y$ f( |7 S' M3 D6 g2 |> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
, e0 _' ]+ C' z) r> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
$ `4 o+ [. T& N4 d/ S$ \7 R> > raise.: K/ A2 O$ D+ p j
> >
/ \9 |5 @4 P/ a% @) j( m> > Sick Days
+ g2 K8 K L8 e, T& m! h% D# K. U> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as) Q, E; y+ b& f7 K
> > proof of sickness.
`5 |) m( A+ S1 ^+ C% K1 D3 d0 M s, r> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able% H+ [( z3 j/ S
> > to come to work.
# Z- r3 o5 K$ ~ r8 o. P5 j' N> >4 V1 o/ y% T+ o( n- E3 e' }
> > Holiday Days$ K% B, ]# I/ @- \4 U# b$ A& F1 G
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
% N/ Y: ?2 t3 U) Y' {> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
0 D: i7 x$ A% g' h> >
! _( k- j# {1 {9 O/ t/ l+ S> > Compassionate Leave7 {$ y m2 P* n, Q: _. J
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
) E" y4 |+ F" y9 d> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
1 l3 H6 I2 l5 |! a! f4 W% N# q9 {> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
3 y6 g6 n8 |7 p> > employees attend to the arrangements.
4 e- i' q1 z0 U% x1 G1 N. F> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
( _ r. X8 G4 S> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the: a7 @4 t; `3 G& l# l0 a: p, N
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
0 m% f# N+ Y4 ^: P% J> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one! s y- Y" d& `" A+ b6 k6 ~: `) I
> > hour early.* G* y/ o' ]; Y3 e8 {1 _6 f8 m
> >3 z2 y" k' n& K% h$ W6 ^/ I
> > Toilet Use
/ }; Q; w; h/ G> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
8 d9 Y2 c# x; t> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit, _6 a2 ^5 T# z+ m- p& T( @# \
> > in the cubicles.
$ d4 q2 m p" h. o9 s> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will1 j6 L5 x' P5 q1 D
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle+ ^5 l0 k; Z9 A6 P/ k
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken." a3 Z4 [$ \/ r8 c& w' V C( \2 b
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
6 C/ f% f! [" _/ m. L> > posted on the company notice board under the$ ~0 H' {6 t0 l0 X6 D$ K1 T" V
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
8 t7 M+ } u7 A! G4 J/ {0 ~4 @> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
6 ?; N' L7 e2 O, \$ F! E; t> > sanctioned under the company's mental health0 Z5 @7 @( o& ]$ j" I- A' i+ j( ]7 k/ E
> > policy.
O. {# a! Q( w7 ~( Y g> >& N' N+ V x: O# t9 N/ k- h
> > Lunch Break" N' a0 F; ~+ [# P0 P
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
( H! x5 `1 `0 j# K5 q2 a# k> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.1 K: f. `1 f2 s
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to$ [$ t2 P+ }; p
> > maintain their average figure.
, b) z; E- p1 m> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time; \# H/ L2 X4 D- C4 _8 x
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.$ M+ B |8 @4 t8 {
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
( x& @+ x% t' d$ x3 i* `# K> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
) n/ [) x5 `5 P7 w> > employment experience.
! S% ]% L& `+ s( }# n8 b: n> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
/ N/ z' N+ Z1 m: R> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,% c0 @; O; X5 S( _: v$ M, r7 P: G
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be4 u* Y6 |" }$ Y5 I
> > directed elsewhere. |
|
