|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:
( r( f$ ^ G1 y; ~3 @4 o5 x> > Effective January 2007( ^$ ~6 r: C$ Y+ `% x/ F9 B
> >2 \ n8 P/ i; H, n9 d
> > Dress Code! _1 L' Y% i% g2 [- I, D) d
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
' U$ o9 D4 G L8 A# |: P> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
! n/ G% H& L" U* `> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume! F+ s9 K) \- I* `4 ~0 a) s
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
6 Q* X% [& a5 k; J* t B- u H# M> > need a pay raise.
" B" G, {' \+ N> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage8 H( i( O! o8 i& _ P
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
: i4 s; _* V+ D& ^: d> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.; j! W5 o- a9 k1 N* r
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you# l9 h% M& s# x- \$ q! `
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
& f; s) E" R" R; `: @, }; K> > raise.
I' F$ N# C. O# J2 V& G, [2 V> >
) C2 O+ H: A/ H> > Sick Days0 g3 j& \0 G; B3 T
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as9 E( ~) B8 K3 b: F! j. M: ?
> > proof of sickness.
" e$ T- s Y3 }# H8 _' D> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able$ L' G F% V5 z1 F
> > to come to work.
0 t. u u# k- x; G3 ?> >
2 n8 b' y# M1 R& @8 N# I4 p; p7 f> > Holiday Days
1 E% a+ D5 v& E1 S> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
$ ^6 L+ S z8 K9 I& U> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
! ?& ^# {: [* u" N> >+ y+ v" H4 h2 P- F( J& K( U
> > Compassionate Leave7 I( n7 H" ?# f; ^; W
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing) R' O9 F$ W2 w) A
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-8 K8 Y* d4 C7 Q6 D
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
1 ?$ {) \' S- V. B> > employees attend to the arrangements.( u3 X! C) ?" n
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
/ B7 x( `$ J) [! B" p* ^8 ?> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
# _2 b" B: C) t7 `8 O% b> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work U) L1 R. ~7 c; k7 \+ r c
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one5 A% M! c1 q$ S! x2 e
> > hour early.
; j1 n4 o9 U, X ^4 }> >
8 ~" s8 r- X, l3 O/ }* l> > Toilet Use
+ f! K, ?. V; a& l( O1 |> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the8 u' @' w9 ?, ~ E
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit% o* Y! l( \1 ?, G' P3 W8 }
> > in the cubicles.
2 E* X/ e" S7 }> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will' f% p3 i, U# E2 V# V% w2 n7 a
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
( H. k9 X3 Q R> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
! `$ z& @/ Y- m4 u7 v# x> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be* J% s7 ^7 ?' h) V) u3 |
> > posted on the company notice board under the: u3 l$ N; ]' E1 e$ ~
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.2 \. D* [: t1 f. ?. ]( O3 _
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be g, f% M7 _0 {( J
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health. `1 U6 T! S5 r6 P5 b5 N
> > policy.
8 U- x; F+ d3 t4 t> >
$ M8 m" N" R' |! i2 R0 L; d> > Lunch Break
3 k/ @0 m- K9 I9 _" t> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
$ B; H8 |8 H8 s7 l+ Y7 y& |> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
8 }* v! g7 I. P4 v5 {8 U> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
) j! m4 d' P( E8 z. e- Z% d> > maintain their average figure.# n7 m. y" ~/ X0 q& K8 u
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time; b+ k3 i: U5 g
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.. }- v" l3 ~+ A
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are* ^# ~/ e n& U" j/ I2 s& @1 E
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive7 B) T7 n+ h" _/ j
> > employment experience.1 \2 q l4 |+ k$ Q9 j S
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
' z) Q2 {8 H$ H7 [ f3 b' N* V# `7 u> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,7 g9 r9 P" h1 B) D1 e
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
7 l/ T8 b* Q7 U2 P: t$ s> > directed elsewhere. |
|
