[English]: Jokes..

小强

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/ T, w; g$ r1 S+ q9 V* U* N/ u$ }1) A recent survey asked 100 sexually active men what they most enjoyed about a blow job
, j; |7 m( M& r$ |0 g. [* U# }99.9% of them said, the 10 minutes of silence
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  o7 W3 p, _0 ~9 q* W5 \2) Advantages of having an affair with a married woman?7 ?9 i! x( Y7 N. _6 }% a
a.They give like hell.
1 r1 j1 Q1 C9 hb.They do not yell.1 F1 Q2 i; ^4 V# ?& q9 ~
c.They do not tell.
) H5 X9 u# ]) A# u7 I4 _d.They do not swell and there is no wedding bell.
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3) A woman once said that a man is like a deck of playing cards. You need:
) z( l) r1 O1 N- a HEART to love him,( U/ f3 y2 y& y/ q
- a DIAMOND to marry him,9 \2 W; D" ^* s9 k
- a CLUB to smash his head in, and
% w% R. ~" V2 y% ]' U+ R- a SPADE to bury him!3 Y3 R1 Y& q4 v' X1 G" ~3 q" M
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4) What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
: D' ?4 |5 I0 a$ K$ r; rBoth are sweet in the beginning and become tasteless and shapeless later
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( e  X8 W% @( t3 i" X5) What is the strongest muscle?
$ d# K2 u; m! g( I5 nThe tongue. It can raise a woman’s hip with just one lick!
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6) Why is the 69 position like driving in rush hour?3 h9 |$ J6 L* N& U' S$ c7 T
The arse hole is always in front of you.
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/ F3 h0 U/ I8 v! T* F2 r' K7) What is the difference between a panty & a stage curtain?; y4 _1 L' D0 x5 l) P8 c$ d
When you pull down the stage curtain, the show is over.. but when you pull down the panties, it’s SHOWTIME!6 U3 h" p9 z8 g+ w  U9 z: Y
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8) A divorced man meets his ex-wife’s new husband at a party. Later after knocking back a few drinks, he goes over to the new guy and asks him: So... how do you like using second hand stuff?
7 M! o1 L5 \( Z$ Q- ~The new husband replied: It isn’t that bad. Past the first three inches, it’s all brand new.