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[English]: Jokes..

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1 v. S6 _, a. [' g! A+ z1) A recent survey asked 100 sexually active men what they most enjoyed about a blow job
# a6 |# m  ~- B) D; x99.9% of them said, the 10 minutes of silence. a" F) s7 j6 R$ j0 o* z6 `* o

+ `* r) `1 E/ V( |( j2) Advantages of having an affair with a married woman?
( |" A1 V9 T- Q- wa.They give like hell.
1 j) I. h% A% R6 k0 F! g& Wb.They do not yell.5 }! R" f" q7 O5 E
c.They do not tell.
9 s. v) t" I* D# q* G- Nd.They do not swell and there is no wedding bell.& \; N0 U% t8 u& \0 ]8 g) Z
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3) A woman once said that a man is like a deck of playing cards. You need:
- T- M3 U' a# P( n4 J! G: y- a HEART to love him,
) \% f) i0 j5 s0 b+ J2 n0 h( @- a DIAMOND to marry him,
$ I/ d7 K1 `' L- a CLUB to smash his head in, and- `1 ~. u, E+ ^
- a SPADE to bury him!1 Z$ a5 p$ H$ d

" S% @. h$ ^' j# u% v' Z! b4) What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
/ f  _8 M" Y$ B' ?5 c( pBoth are sweet in the beginning and become tasteless and shapeless later
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5) What is the strongest muscle?
& `) n! W0 W3 |; [4 m! NThe tongue. It can raise a woman’s hip with just one lick!& V" h, F# M; A. v6 W, ^
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6) Why is the 69 position like driving in rush hour?
/ J' s* |8 v5 L' e& U* eThe arse hole is always in front of you.( q" ]& B9 \3 }* _9 p

6 Q/ h' C4 G% \) ^, B+ z7) What is the difference between a panty & a stage curtain?
! S! B6 T6 P$ S" s! R& i0 kWhen you pull down the stage curtain, the show is over.. but when you pull down the panties, it’s SHOWTIME!5 u" D, B5 W) v, V8 y) b; _
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8) A divorced man meets his ex-wife’s new husband at a party. Later after knocking back a few drinks, he goes over to the new guy and asks him: So... how do you like using second hand stuff?
+ D& A3 L- ]) \! yThe new husband replied: It isn’t that bad. Past the first three inches, it’s all brand new.
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